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darnold1975

The Funny Reasons Kids Cry

“A 3 year-old is basically a walking, talking middle finger.”

-Amy Dillion

Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. I needed to switch gears just a bit from the trauma work. So, what is something that’s lighthearted and comical about our lives? The answer…PARENTING. It doesn’t matter if you’re straight, gay, trans, purple, white, black or any other category. If you have children they will all do things like this as they grow.

It is the most complex job that I’ve ever had. There are as many frustrations as there are hysterical moments. We as parents love our children dearly. There are also those times especially toddler meltdowns that can have me in the room over in a corner  while in the fetal position and biting my arm.  A momma hamster would’ve eaten said screaming child.

Due to my trauma, I cannot tolerate the cries of babies and children. Asking them to stop is apparently the equivalent of asking them to stop breathing. Needless to say, I am so thankful that the boys are out of those stages. However, the uncharted waters of puberty are now upon me. They still aren’t always sure what bothers them but they just hiss at everything. And all I can say at this point is that “if God wants to get me back for the way I was as a teenager, it’s going to be a hell of a ride.” Here is a video of some of the funniest kids meltdowns.

Any parent from anywhere in a public setting understands the familiar cries. That  moment when you think to yourself, “Yep, it’s nap time for that kid.” When Marshall was little and Mel and I went to Walmart, we headed straight to the dog beds where we would get a comfy looking one and put it in the cart.  We would give Marshall his bottle and pray for a miracle. It might not have lasted forever but it was so nice.  And then inevitably a loud sound or the screeching of a kid’s tantrum would wake him up.  How many times did I want to go up to a parent and say, “I hope you can’t find your kids binkies  the next time they want one. And when you try to go to the store to get new ones they are all sold out.  And then it’s “No Binkie Night” at your house!” Check out some of these funny pictures of children losing their minds over the simplest things.

Marshall was very young and we were getting ready for church.  On the way to the car he spotted his little swimming pool and made a beeline to it.  I stopped him just shy of soaking his entire outfit and shoes.  You would’ve thought that I had just removed all the air from his life.  We had to go through the five stages of grief and loss. And the crocodile tears made me feel like a horrible parent because I just made the additional liquid in his eyes appear. We all made it through that moment and Marshall just turned 13. And now I’m beginning to see, at 49 years old, that my parents were not crazy when I was younger. I made them that way.

I hope that you could have a few laughs as I have. Enjoy the ride of parenting.  Our little guys are so worth it all. And so are all of you!

“The average toddler expends 6,500 calories per day. Consumes 1.5 bites of food per meal, and grows 3 pajama sizes per night.”

-Unknown

***Don’t forget to watch the video.***

#Thispuzzledlife

darnold1975

2024 Highlights From Camp Frat Pad

“Many years ago, I made a New Year’s resolution  to never make New Year’s resolutions. Hell, it’s been the only resolution I’ve ever kept.”

–D.S Mixell

As the world wraps up another year of living, I thought that I would try to recap some of our most memorable moments here at Camp Frat Pad. There has been much laughter, tears with our friends that double as family.  We have all grown individually and as a group in our relationships with each other. But it’s how we walk through our daily lives attempting to “live life on life’s terms” that continues to make Camp Frat Pad such a special place. Camp Frat Pad is not a place. It’s a total experience. You want unconditional love that you might be lacking elsewhere? We are all here to support you. Hate has no room here.  We are a small group of people where we practice inclusion, love and a place to call home when others can’t handle our differences. Camp Frat Pad is a place where both kids and adults are free to be whoever and whatever they want to be judgment free. No matter what color flag you wave or what limitations you may have, there is always a place for anyone who needs or wants acceptance, support and laughter that will propel you into the next 24 hours of life.  Enjoy some of our moments from 2024 as we send a lighthearted middle finger goodbye to whatever type of year that we’ve all had.

  • Marshall puked when we played the Jelly Belly Beanboozled game
  • Copeland decided to try and learn how to make primitive weapons so that he could be a survivalist. His survival pack consisted of a pack of crackers, a piece of gum and a juice box which he devoured 30 ft into the woods.
  • I slipped and fell in some mud down by the creek. All I could do was look at Shelby like, “Did that just really happen? And am I still alive?” Shelby was absolutely no help. She and the kids just laughed hysterically. Each time I tried  to stand up I fell back down again making the whole situation that much funnier. Definitely, one of the funniest moments of the year!
  • The boys accidentally on purpose got their shoes soaked when they needed to walk in the creek water.
  • Robyn tripped going upstairs AGAIN! Shocker!
  • Robyn and the family were gone on a cruise. I took care of her pet pigs “pork chop” and “bacon.” I am completely dumb when it comes to pig behavior. They let out a big snort and I screamed because I thought that they had just tried to kill me. I could’ve died and she laughed at the story.
  • Mikey set the woods on fire by trying to be proactive.
  • Out of the corner of my eye I saw a water hose under Robyn’s carport that I apparently thought was a cobra in the striking position. I could’ve died and she just laughed!
  • Mikey got a new keychain flashlight that helps determine meteorological outcomes.
  • Shelby was sick the entire year! Literally.
  • I was nearly killed in a barrage of nerf gun fire. Injuries included swollen eyebrows, a bruised nipple and multiple red dot tattoos.
  • Copeland’s frustration with his brother’s “mean puberty” behaviors are either violent or hysterical. 
  • Mason contracted “Movid.”
  • Copeland and Marshall farted so much that Tink and Coco started losing vision in their eyes.
  • Mason is the fart and burp monitor that demands an immediate “EXCUSE ME!”
  • Copeland decided that when he grows up that he wants to commit arson because he loves shooting fireworks. We had an immediate discussion about the difference between arson and a pyro. Basically, one is a felony.
  • Mikey can listen to a podcast, load the dishwasher and cook brownies best when it’s midnight and everyone else is trying to sleep.
  • We all concluded that the boys would starve if they ever wanted to be male strippers for a living.
  • I almost got rabies from Robyn’s dog Bella. I gave her the name “Devil Dog” which she wears with pride. Now, at the end of the year, she loves to get in my lap from time-to-time for cuddles. And so does the rest of the “canine assassin crew.”
  • Mason is very mean when he gets hungry. It goes way beyond hangry.
  • Coco and Tink are two of my best friends.
  • Cannabis is still the best medicine on the planet.
  • I am now free from psych meds. Thank you, cannabis!
  • Baby “Prince” is the most beautiful and high maintenance little schnauzer. He is the newest member of Camp Frat Pad.
  • Experiencing the kids’ puberty makes me want to go into the woods and let the animals eat me.
  • Mason has gone from a little kid to 7’2” in less than a year. He outgrows clothes every month.
  • I broke the wooden adirondack chair flamboyantly!
  • Ellie is now legal. Happy Birthday!
  • When the boys come to my house for a visit they have appetites like starving feral dogs. Even when they’ve just eaten.
  • The boys set off the smoke alarm with the fart blaster gun.
  • “Momma, do Tink and Coco have New Year’s “revolutions?” “Only around the food bowl and snack drawer, son.”

As we go into the new year, I wish everyone to be healthy and happy. Laugh as much as possible. It will get you through many difficult moments. Keep those you love close because life can change permanently in a moment. And tell them that you love them often. Allow your kids to enjoy their childhood without unrealistic constraints and expectations. Allow them to play and enjoy life before it gets difficult. It will disappear before you realize. Be the reason other people smile.  DO NOT allow other people’s opinions to determine your self-worth. Just because they don’t see it doesn’t mean that it’s not there. Boundaries foster growth. Stand in your truth even when it’s difficult or unpopular. Because one day you will look up and you will have that backbone that you’ve always needed. And finally, DO NOT remain silent just because it makes others uncomfortable. Embrace diversity!

Happy New Year From All Of Us At Camp Frat Pad!

#Thispuzzledlife

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darnold1975

The Teachings of a Pandemic

 

A person in public without a mask during a

 pandemic is a walking septic tank.”

 ― Abhijit Naskar.

***This is just a little nugget of gold during the pandemic that I never posted.***

Until very recently I’ve thought that my days of writing were days of long ago. I was writing one day and the next day I fell into a big dark hole of nothingness. My last blog entry on September 25, 2020, entitled Beyond the Mask is about how my life was beyond typical Halloween themes and rewritten into a language that I still wouldn’t understand. Today I sit, one year later, with the latest ideas and revelations about my ongoing therapy. And realizing how sometimes the simple reasons for a smile would once been seen as insignificant.

A pandemic has a way of wiping the smiles off the faces in society. And sometimes society tries to force the pandemic out only for the pandemic to re-emerge with the upper hand. I fell victim to Covid-19 twice with the most recent adventure only a couple of weeks ago. This time, however, I had to cuddle with a blood clot in one of my lungs. How I contracted Covid-19 was sort of perplexing since I hate being in public to a point of phobias at times. And the seclusion for safety by the virus had me fearing everything that much more. So, these days I’m having to force myself to go in public even if it’s just riding in my vehicle or walking down the street. 

What I have enjoyed are the relationships with my cat Coco, my new cat Tinkerbell and my children. Copeland and Marshall have a healthy fear of the virus with comical threats “that they might not breathe again if they take their masks off.”   The boys tell me things like, “Momma I love you so much that I’m going to fart on you next time I see you.”  What boy mom doesn’t melt when her babies say things like that? “And when I see Coco, I’m going to fart on her too!”  Yep, we keep it real like that. I will take that any day over losing one of my children to the virus.

Coco has gone from my sweet kitten to a very voluptuous and very entitled cat. Oh, how I love my Coco! Me and the boys have renamed her as “Coco Momma Lita.”  These days we just refer to her as “big and beautiful.”  Nothing could’ve prepared me for the next little beauty in our lives……Tinkerbell. Or “Tink” for short. Early on I thought the scene might play out like it did for Marley the little kitten that I will never forget. Again, I adopted her from a vet clinic and again this kitten was sick with a big, bad dose of intestinal worms.

Me and this little calico beauty were just meant to be together. I had never seen so much diarrhea in all my life. The stress was unimaginably high for us both. I was headed straight towards psychosis and all she knew was play, play, play and poop. I was lucky in that she was able to hold her own until the medicine began working. But this little girl was determined to make it, and I was determined to somehow make it through a bout of psychosis. All you must know is that it’s scary and you can’t hear what I hear. 

While I took a break from writing my therapy didn’t end. I’ve continued to meet with coach, and I’ve found a new love for scrapbooking. And my “head mates” like that activity too. So, during this pandemic I’ve still found a way to give “my guys” a voice even on telemedicine. So, what has this pandemic taught me? Persistence.

“With COVID-19, we’ve made it to the life raft. Dry land is far away.” 

Marc Lipsitch, epidemiologist

**Don’t forget to watch the video!**

#thispuzzledlife

darnold1975

Splish! Splash! I Was Taking A Bath

“If you can’t laugh at yourself, life is going to seem a whole lot longer than you’d like.” 

~ Natalie Portman

Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away! Instantly, I feel better. I need to make a confession. A few weeks ago, I had elbow surgery. No big deal. I’ve had many surgeries throughout my life. Most have been knee surgeries. This time, though, it was going to be “baptism by fire” on how to bathe with one arm. I do my best by keeping the cast dry. This should’ve not been an issue because I’ve done the same thing after knee surgeries. But this time, would prove itself different. 

I get my game plan to hold my arm up while attempting to sit down in my bath water. Uh oh! Ok this little snafu I had not factored into my plan. How would I get down in the water? Just in case I had misjudged my actions, I tried it again. Oh my gosh! My older body was letting me down. I begin thinking about the situation that I’m now faced deal with. I couldn’t call my close friends because if they saw me now, they would be in therapy the rest of their lives. Plus, one of them already has issues with gravity.  She would laugh hysterically while shouting, “KARMA!”  “I couldn’t call coach. Because who would? And I’m also one of those kids that always said, “I do it!”

I develop a new game plan while thinking, “If survivors from the Titanic disaster made it then a measly bathtub situation should be no problem, right?” I began squatting but still I could do nothing but hover over the water. Finally, I realize that the only solution is to just let go and fall in the water the rest of the way. I begin counting “One, two, three. Wait! Wait! Do I let go on three or two?” When you have parts, the agreeing on things internally is seldom accomplished. Some were already laughing. Mainly the teenagers. The kids were saying over and over, “One, two, three Go! One, two, three go!” Others say, “OMG this is going to be a disaster! Call coach! Yes, ask for what you need!” I shout, “Shut up! I’m to keep us alive!” To which the rebuttal comment is “Oh wow! That was not said in a loving kind of way.” My only other statement at this point was, “Well, I don’t feel “Loving” right now!”

Seeing no other way around this situation, I let go and fell back into the bathtub. I remember thinking, “Am I still alive? I accused the bathtub and karma for attempting to drown me.”  One little insider was screaming, “I’m drowning! I’m drowning!” I say, “No you’re not! You just have water in your eyes!” Neither me, the tub nor the bathroom would ever be the same. I felt like I had just done a cannon ball off the diving board. And what had come of it was a tidal wave of water in every inch of that room.

“If you allow others to laugh with you, you will be great.”

“Ha! Ha! Ha! I told you I could do it!” I said. So, I took my bath with one arm out with no further incident. I was just going to keep the situation secret and in my back pocket for some time later down the road. I start attempting to get out of the tub like I do with my knee. And I soon realized that I had not thought about how to get back out of the bathtub. So, now I’m trapped in a bathtub and have no idea how I’m going to get out.” Hellfire and damnation! What do I do now?” I shouted. A few minutes go by, and I eventually make it back onto my feet and out of the bathtub. Karma got me good!

~ Martin Niemoller

***Don’t forget to watch the video***

#Thispuzzledlife

darnold1975

Kids Say The Darndest Things

“The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.”

-Unknown

Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away! Whew! That’s my favorite part. I feel better now. I know that it’s been several days since I wrote my last blog. Sorry, but elbow surgery makes typing almost impossible. One of the coolest things about being around kids are the innocent and endless questions and rationale. Since finding out more information about my own childhood, my parents, friends and family have told me about various behaviors and questions that I said and done. Now that I have more children around me, I now understand just how it all looks and sounds. Check out these comedic statements.

Marshall (much younger): “Momma Mel, do you know what G-netic sand is?”

Momma Mel: “I think you mean K-Netic sand.”

Marshall: “No watch me. G-G-Genetic sand.”

Marshall (much younger}: “Momma Mel, have you ever been on Tweeter?”

Momma Mel: “Do you mean Twitter?”

Marshall: “No Tweeter!”

Me: “Wow son. We’ve had it wrong all this time.”

 

Me: “Son, I didn’t see it at Walmart.”

Copeland: “Well did you check the app?”

Me: “Did you realize that there was no Walmart when I was a kid?”

Copeland: “I know. That was back in the day.”

(I had no comeback)

 

Me: “Boys, we can’t go out for fast food tonight. It’s too expensive.”

Copeland: “Awe. Did you check the dollar menu?”

Me: “Did you check the pantry?”

 

Copeland: “Momma D, now that you are old can you tell me about your childhood?”

Me: “Dude let’s get one thing straight. I’m not old because I grew up in the 80s. And 80s kids don’t age.”

Copeland “No you’re old because you didn’t have YouTube and Dollar Tree.” (Silence)

 

Me “Boys I’m not going to raise y’all on McDonald’s.”

Copeland: “Well you can just raise us on Chick-Fil-A.”(Again silence)

 

Me: “Ok. I found the item you wanted.”

Male child: “Please order from our country!”

 A lot of my little visitors love to see me so that they can play with my cats Coco and Tinkerbell. Ava Grace, my niece, was overheard asking these questions.

Ava Grace: “Coco you want some cookies? What’s the passcode?

She also proceeded to tell me a little bit of unknown history about my parents black and white stray cat named Oreo

AG: “Oreo’s mother was killed in a car wreck. Did you know that?”

Me: “Like his “cat momma?”

AG: “Yea, it was very sad.”

Copeland and I love to shoot fireworks. Check out these below.

Copeland: “Momma, when I get older, I want to do arson.”

Me: “Wait what?!”

Copeland: “Yea, I love playing with fireworks.”

Me: “Son, that is a pyro! Arson is a felony.”

Copeland: “Just don’t call the cops.”

 

Copeland lit a firework that was a strobe light. 

Copeland: “Momma that light is giving me amnesia.”

Me: “What?! Son that light can cause seizures not amnesia.”

 

Copeland called me over to the fireworks that he shot. 

Copeland: “Hey, mom you know you don’t have to pick up the leftover paper.”

Me: “Yes we do, son.”

Copeland: “Well the paper will evaporate.”

Me: “Do you mean disintegrate?”

Copeland: “Yea, whatever.”

 

Copeland: “mom this bread stuff is so good. Maybe we should tell poppa thank you right now, so he’ll go get some more.” 

One day when the boys were staying with me, I told them in the evening that we all had to take showers or baths. Copeland for whatever reason wants me to sit and talk to him when he’s bathing. 

Me: “Son you’re big enough to take baths by yourself.” 

Trying his best to create a reason for me to go sit with him he shouts, “Mom! I need you!” 

Me: “No you don’t. Take your bath.”

Copeland: “But I need you to help me! I have problems!” 

Me: “What is the problem?” 

Copeland: “The soap is decaying in the bathtub!”

Marshall (much younger)” Next time grandmother says she wants to do something. Tell her No! No! No! Marshall, my kid, thinks that is boring. And he just wants to stay home and play with his precious titanic.”

Copeland: “My bath water is so good. And it doesn’t even have pee in it.”

Copeland: “Adults have difficult lives. They have to worry about tax evasion, fraud and defamation.”

 

Mason age 9: “I tried Nutella. It’s the closest thing to poop!”

 

Copeland: I’m single and ready to mingle!”

 

Mason: “I like my teacher, Ms. Lee. Because she can moonwalk.”

 

Copeland: “I got a mani petty last night.”

 

Mason: “My uncle is a black cheerleader.”

Copeland: “If someone has abs does their belly button cut them off? Or do they cut off your belly button?”

“If you fart twice, you’ll see some mice!” Copeland age 9  

“When your child tries to make you laugh, laugh. They love to hear your laughter as much as you love to hear theirs.”

-Unknown

***Don’t forget to watch the video below!”

#Thispuzzledlife

darnold1975

The Promise

“Don’t be afraid to celebrate a promise when kept. In doing so, you’re the potential for a better world.”

-Unknown

Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. Ok, much better. Today I am going to write about a recent occurrence in therapy. Through some recent events, therapy has led in the direction to tackle my core issues about my adoption. Truly I can say that it’s not a day that I have been looking towards with excitement. It is so necessary, in fact, that I still shiver about how painful it will be. For those that don’t know, it is a topic so strong and powerful that the thought of it makes me want to vomit. However, it’s something that has caused a dark cloud to follow me in every facet of my and for the majority of my life. The very mention of the topic causes a retraction that is so instantaneous and powerful, that I don’t feel that I have a weapon in my arsenal strong enough to stand a chance against its negativity. 

I have trusted my coach on so many occasions for when it would be the appropriate timing to tackle different traumatic events. But the timing of this one, I would soon realize that no matter when she would decide on that “perfecting timing” it would never be convenient. I have written and spoken about it many times. And most of the time, I do so from my brain instead of my heart. I knew instantly that it would require a level of trust that I struggle to accept. After 8 years of doing therapy with her, I should know and feel that it’s been long enough to tackle the “primal wound.”  And I ashamedly still don’t know if I’m ready. I get some specifics about the plan, and I sit with the idea for a few days knowing that coach has never led me astray. And she ALWAYS has my best interest at hand. 

A few days went by, and I decided that no matter how scared, I would at least try. Seeing the strength and compassion in her eyes that I felt when I first met her told me that everything would be “ok” despite the agonizing pain. The biggest protector in my “system” of many distinct parts of myself is held by a 13-year-old that would give anyone a run for their money. She has protected me so many times from total annihilation on so many and very distinct levels. And this time would be no different. Once she realized that I had agreed to do the work, she immediately began throwing up roadblocks. The infant part of me is the most ferociously defended of any type of perceived threat. And I told “coach” what has been occurring. This defender is “top notch” at keeping me safe. But will also sabotage things out of fear. Some of her tactics were immensely helpful during traumatic events. However, she is still reactive during peace time. And this causes therapeutic roadblocks that can throw a “monkey wrench” in about any plan.

Coach and I begin the session with some guided imagery that helps me to prepare for the monumental task before us. What I begin to see is that this “protector” is holding hostage the newborn baby part. And she has always been inconsolable. No matter the situation, this little baby is like a an infant with colic. There is nothing that has helped her agonizing cries EVER! There is no amount of compassion that has been able to comfort her. She is non-verbal but her emotions are so uncategorical that I am not able to capture it with words. I am not able to listen to lullabies or tolerate the sound of a baby crying. When the boys were little their cries flew all over me. But at that time, I didn’t know how to do anything but run from the situation. I thought to myself, “How do people deal with a baby crying both inside their heads and as parents. What I didn’t know, at that time, was that “normal” people don’t hear things like that. I wouldn’t understand my pain until I understood the reason for the crying. And then one day the “A-HA” moment happened. She was retracting from the pain that occurred when me and my “birth mom” separated.

When I met my birth mom many years ago, she said to me what I had always feared, “You were an inconvenient then and you still are!” I can’t tell you how bad that hurt. And I still can’t understand how that must’ve felt like for a newborn baby. I could, however, understand what it was like for a 30-year-old adult. It was absolutely the worst pain imaginable. The rejection was like no other situation that I had experienced. And to put that much fear and pain on a little bitty baby was something that I would have to find healing from at some point. 

I tried everything I could think of to fill that hole to bring me some level of comfort. I have tried drugs, alcohol, self-harm, relationships and nothing was strong enough. Coach would have the answers. But would I have the courage to step out on faith and take her hand as guidance once more? Not long ago I would speak with a resounding, “NO!” What I didn’t know was how very quickly I would change that lifetime of pain with a different answer.

“Faith consists in believing when it is beyond the power of reason to believe.”

-Voltaire

***Don’t forget to watch the video at the bottom***

#Thispuzzledlife

darnold1975

The Emergence Of Camp Frat Pad

“Having children is like living in a frat house – nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.”

-Ray Romano

Light charcoal. Sprinkle the Sage. Negative energy go away!  This next post will hopefully help you understand a little bit better about the relationship between the boys, me and our friends.

At the frat pad, me, the boys and whoever else wants to stop by for a visit are more than welcome. The “Frat Pad” is where we can all check out from reality by having fun and growing in our relationships. The adults can be kids if they want. We do so many cool things like nature walks, silly string war, gel blaster gun wars, water guns, slip n’ slide daytime and nighttime, campfire, roast marshmallow, fireworks, forts, bridges, playing in the creek, farting, nerf gun wars, burping, bathroom humor, swimming, movie nights, homemade ice cream and meals with friends, water gun wars, feeding and observing the wildlife. 

We also have serious discussions about life. Currently, one of the biggest sources of entertainment is the topic of puberty. Another main attraction is that we feed a little snack on the porch to the local wildlife. And we enjoy watching every minute of it from inside in the ”safe zone” area in the house.

Good friends, good family and lots of fun is what “Camp Frat Pad” is all about. I let kids be kids and do what some aren’t allowed to do such as Staying up all night Which they never make it to sunlight o’ clock. And sometimes they eat ice cream and leftover cold pizza for breakfast. Of course, there’s always “Tink” and “Coco” who enjoy being the supervisory onlookers. And subsequently getting some much-needed attention from their crazy friends and brothers.

The times when they come for a visit, and I mean the very minute they enter my house. It’s Instantly transformed into a college frat house party. We talk, swim and do many other things. The boys’ main goal is to eat as much as their bodies can tolerate. And to play until they collapse. The goal is to let them and teach them to love and to appreciate being children.

They begin eating like starving feral dogs. There is a lot of bathroom humor. Copeland loves to be out in the woods with his beloved rubber boots. Before I bought him the boots, He would accidentally on purpose get his shoes wet playing by the creek.

Me: One day I was frustrated and said, “this house looks like a fraternity house!

Copeland asks “mom, what’s that?”

Me: “I tell them both, “when you go to college most places have houses where they drink a lot of alcohol and do some “whack-a-do things. They are called fraternity houses. Where only guys live.  The times where I’ve gone to parties are loud and the houses are completely trashed. By the time you go back home my house looks like a comfortable place for squatters.

Copeland: “Cool momma! Can we have our own fraternity house?”

Me: “Of course. What would you like to name our fraternity house?”

Copeland: “I don’t know. I need your assistance coming up with a name.”

Me: “Well, how about if we try to come up with a name that has “Frat” in it?”

Copeland: “Ok. But Momma, what is another name for a house?”

Me: “A Pad.”

Copeland: “So it’s a frat pad?”

Me: “What if we called it “Camp Frat Pad?”

Copeland: “Perfect! Yay, I love Camp Frat Pad!”

Me: “Ok. At fraternity houses you must be accepted into the club before you can live there.”

Copeland: “How about at the frat pad anyone can be accepted if they need friends or if they want to place with toys, Xbox, and have snacks. The exception is not really sleeping here because we don’t have much room. If they’re adults that can sit by the fire and talk with you, Mrs. Robyn and Ms. Shelby?“

Me: “That’s a great idea, son! But what about in the summertime when it’s hot?”

Copeland: “They can come swimming with us. And then when we go back home you can get some pizza. And the adults can stay inside and talk where it’s air conditioned. DUH!!!!”

Me: “And if we don’t’ go back swimming that evening what would yall like to do?”

Copeland: “That’s simple. Make some homemade ice cream and we can play outside until its ready.”

Me: “What would yall play at night?”

Copeland: “We could play either Slip N’ Slide. Or a water gun war. Or a game that you can teach us. Mom, trust me we can find something to do. But we will be hungry again. Playing makes you hungry, you know.”

Me: “What do you think a good motto would be?”

Copeland: “A what?”

Me: “A motto.”

Copland: “What is that?”

Me: “It’s like a statement that makes up what Camp Frat Pad is all about.”

Copeland: “hmmmm…. I’m thinking.”

Me: “Think about what I allow you to do within boundaries.”

Copeland: “Something like when it rained a lot and you let me walk around in my boots and playing in the water?”

Me: “Exactly!” I knew what was about to say.

Copeland: “How about ‘Where everyone can be their self and have fun!”

Me: Copeland that is perfect!

So that, my friends, is what makes Camp Frat Pad so special! With the hustle and bustle of life and school sometimes you just need to take time out to enjoy and reignite the simple pleasures of life. There is nothing like sitting with your friends, roasting marshmallows, building bridges in the creek and hearing about how rude your older brother’s puberty is affecting little brother.

Thank you so much for reading this blog! Start from the beginning and experience the peaks and valleys with us.

“Some frat houses have a story. We have a legend.”

-Unknown

***Dont forget to watch the video.***

#Thispuzzledlife

darnold1975

Welcome Home, Tinkerbell!

“Rescuing one cat won’t change the world but it will change the world for one cat.”

-Unknown

After the death of my sweet little Marley, my aching heart cried out for another cat. I soon brought Coco into my life. But even then, something didn’t sit right with me. I sat with that feeling for about a year stumped me at what it all meant. One day, like a light bulb, it would be revealed that I had a cat shaped hole still in my heart. I thought back to when I had Simba and Nalla and how devasting it was to see and experience the loss while watching the other one go around looking for the missing one and calling her through the meowing. They were littermates and kept each other company when I got busy. I always said that if I ever decided to have cats again, I would make sure and have two. I struggled so hard with the decision because my heart and mind weren’t in complete agreement. Would I, once again, be able to be vulnerable enough to step out and take that chance again? Turns out I did.

Returned to the same veterinary clinic and asked if they had any female kittens that needed a home. I didn’t care about the color or the markings. One of the receptionists said, “I think so.” She called to the back and within minutes a technician brought me the prettiest little calico. When our eyes met instantly I needed her, and she needed me. I was told that her name was Maisie. I said, “Today her name is Tinkerbell (Tink).”

I left the clinic with that sweet baby in my arms. I began to feel the healing of my heart wound. My only concern was how Coco would adjust. They both hissed at one another the rest of the day. By morning they were both peacefully sleeping and seemed to be getting along great. I was told by the clinic that her health was in good shape. But this little girl was walking, crouching and sitting like something was wrong. I panicked thinking, “Please not again!” my heart was beginning to retract. next place I checked was the litter box for anything abnormal other than their regular Tootsie Rolls. There was the most horrid diarrhea that I had ever seen. That was not the sign of a healthy kitty. She would constantly be going back-and-forth to the litterbox. My entire house smelled like I had been cooking a turd casserole. And This went on for a week. I felt so bad for her. She would play and then suddenly curl up into a black, white and orange ball of fur. She had a severe case of intestinal worms. I’m assuming that she had been given dewormer. Gradually, she started getting better.

The girls’ personalities instantly began to blossom. And have been the best of friends ever since. “Tink” has always looked to Coco for guidance on how to be a cat. Some of the instances are quite funny. Just to imagine their “supposed” conversations and I get to have a nice laugh.

Living as a friend, sister, niece, aunt, daughter and mom with a traumatic past isn’t always about being sad or depressed. I try to go through life laughing, as much as possible, when the moment arises. It’s who I am. And it saved my life. 

Please continue to read this blog as funny short stories, dialogs, and captions I will post soon.

“Not all angels have wings. Some have whiskers.”

-Unknown

 #Thispuzzledlife

darnold1975

Life Lessons #2

“The greatest lessons are often learned from our failures, for they teach us strength, humility and resilience.”

-Unknown

Light charcoal. Light sage. Negative energy go away! Ok. Now I’m starting to get balanced. Sometimes the blogs I write are heavy. There is absolutely no way to tell you about trauma that makes it appear cute and sweet. That stuff is just horribly ugly. What I do have are stories about the boys and other fiascos of life. What I do need to fill you in on is where I left off 4 years ago. I’m hoping that you were able to take something from the last post. Use what you can use and leave the rest.

1.  There is a God, I am not him.

2.  Don’t become complacent in living. It will make you comfortable with dying.

3.  Pride is just as dangerous as gluttony.

4.  Perfection is not possible.

5.  Religion should never be used as a weapon.

6.  The beauty of living in a free nation is being able to have your own views and opinions. No one’s experiences in life happen and affect us in the same exact way.

7.  Never settle for average. Expect extraordinary.

8.  Sometimes people love you for exactly who you are regardless of gender, age, education, religion, profession, political affiliation or sexuality.

9.  PTSD does not only occur in soldiers.

10. Parenting is the most difficult job that has ever been.

11.  Late 1970s and 1980s provided some of the best comedy called “Low budget horror movies.”

12.  Teach them. Guide them. Love them. And watch as the miracle unfolds.

13.  Some people are wolves in sheep’s clothing. Be ready, willing and able to take cover. They will unintentionally reveal this to you.

14.  Only Jesus was perfect. We will never be.

15.   Everyone should be in therapy. 

“Never let life lessons harden your heart; the hard lessons of life are meant to make you better, not bitter.”

-Roy T. Bennett

#Thispuzzledlife

darnold1975

Happy Birthday, Copeland

Happy Birthday, Copeland!!!

“You’re going to miss this one day, I whisper to myself as I’m
shot in the butt with a nerf gun while unclogging the toilet”
—Unknown

I remember when Mel was pregnant with our second and sweet little boy Copeland. It was one of the saddest times of my life because we had found out that Sarah’s condition had gone from being in remission to terminal and she wouldn’t have many days left. And we had lost Copeland’s twin at 12 weeks only a couple of months earlier. I was completely distraught at what was happening in our life. I felt guilty for being so sad at the loss of our unborn child and the latest news about Sarah. I was in a whirlwind of emotions and mad at God when I should have been grateful and looking forward to being a mom again. My mental health issues became more erratic at this time. My rock and my yoda and the one that was teaching me about life was about to be gone. I just couldn’t handle that. My heart was shattered at both losses. The world would go on and my world would never be the same.

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Mel and I would have to drive back because she had to go back to work. My parents would Facetime Sarah’s service as I sat in my truck waiting on an appointment. After the service was over, I cried secretly that I can explain. I cried because my heart hurt, and It felt like part of it was becoming necrotic. I also cried because my soul hurt. I needed someone to just hold me and let me cry over this loss. And as I cry now, I am sobbing like I did that day secretly in my house. I was mad at God for taking them both away. I just didn’t understand, and I still don’t. Everything hurt and it does again for a woman who loved me just because. What an emptiness I can still feel from those losses 5 years ago.

Sarah died in February and Copeland was born in May. And I think his birth was what I needed to keep going. Our boys will never know fully how stressed and distraught both of their moms were at that time. And how incredibly special and powerful to us for being our children. Copeland came along at a time at a time that we needed.

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I now understand what my parents have told me for most of my life. One of my grandfathers died in September 1975 and I was born in December of that same year. My mom tells me that my birth is what helped them get through Christmas. And for Mel and me, Copland’s birth did the same thing for us. That little baby boy put a smile on my face where only minutes before there was a frown from a hurting heart.Ever since he was born, and Marshall has had the duty of being a big brother we have had some of the greatest entertainment and love that mothers can have with their children. Here’s a conversation that Mel and Copeland had several months ago….

Copeland: What are you made of mommy?
Mel:_Sugar and spice and everything nice.
What are you made of Copey?
Cope: Plastic
Mel: No sticks and snails and puppy dog tails that’s what little boys
Are made of…
Cope: nooooooo I don’t have puppy dogs!!!
Mel: so what are you made of?
Cope: Rubber
Continuing the conversation later she asks
Mel: So what are you made of Cope?
Cope: plastic and rubber and Boogers!!! Lots of Boogers!!!!

Copeland Samuel Landrum-Arnold is the finest little superhero man cub that God has created other than his brother Marshall. I am blessed to be in his life and to be called Mom when I never saw that as a possibility several years earlier. I love you, son! And I’m so incredibly proud to be your mom even with challenges. Happy Birthday, Copeland!!!

#thispuzzledlife