This Puzzled Life is a mental health and recovery blog exploring addiction, trauma healing, LGBTQ experiences, humor, and the strange moments that shape us.
“The plant teaches patience, presence, and perspective.”
-Unknown
Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. Today, I want to tell you about a strain that is all about St. Patty’s Day. And it is called Leprechaun Larry.
Leprechaun Larry is sativa-dominant hybrid. It is a cross between Larry OG x Green Crack. Larry OG is a cross between OG Kush x SFV OG (San Fernando Valley OG). Green Crack is a cross between Skunk #1 x Afghani genetics. The taste profile consists of citrus peel, sweet herbs, and pine. This is a strain’s taste profile is one that I have a difficult time of differentiating.
The top terpenes in this strain are Limonene, Terpinolene, and Pinene. Patients report experiencing better focus and creativity. And less stress, depression, mood swings, chronic fatigue, and ADD/ADHD. Make sure that you’re in a stable place with your anxiety before using this strain. Because it will definitely give you some pep in your step or a panic attack. Please keep in mind that each grow will be different and the flower effects, terpenes and genetics will differ depending on which region of the country that the plant is grown. Thanks for reading! Keep blazin.’
Affirmation: In this moment, I am safe, grounded, and enough.
“Some households wake up to sunshine. Mine wakes up to magical litigation and emotional support glitter.”
-This Puzzled Life
Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. There are mornings when the universe whispers, “Sweet girl, stay in bed.” And then there are mornings I wake up and whisper my classic prayer. “Lord, grant me the strength to survive whatever nonsense these animals have manifested overnight.” And the universe, being the petty little comedian it is, always replies, “Surprise! I hope you like chaos. buckle up!”
So, there I was at 7 a.m. Barely conscious. Clutching my coffee like a life insurance policy. And my hallway suddenly erupted in a burst of green glitter so aggressively it felt personal. Not whimsical. Not magical. Aggressive. Like a St. Patrick’s Day gender reveal hosted by people who should not legally be allowed near confetti. The cats were suspiciously quiet. And in this home, is the spiritual equivalent of hearing a toddler say, “Don’t come in here.”
And then, POOF! A burst of green glitter detonated in the hallway. My life is a sitcom written by feral raccoons. The leprechauns stepped out looking like they’d already read the Yelp reviews for my household. And they arrived very disappointed. All of them wearing the exact same expression that Southern church ladies reserve for when someone shows up to Easter service in denim.
Tinkerbell froze mid‑groom like a scandalized Southern aunt who just heard someone say “moist” in church. Coco dropped her clipboard. Piper screamed the scream of a creature who has never once made a good decision. And that’s when I knew: My day had clocked in early and was already demanding hazard pay.
Piper: “They brought reinforcements! They know about the ankle incident!”
Coco: “Girl, you assaulted a magical diplomat. Of course they know.”
Tinkerbell: “Everyone stay calm. And Piper, for the love of all things holy, do NOT bite anyone.”
Piper was already in a crouch. The lead leprechaun stepped forward with his hands on his hips, looking like he was about to file a complaint with HR.
Lead Leprechaun: “Ye negotiated NOTHING. Ye terrorized our cousin.”
Piper: “He started it by existing.”
Tinkerbell: “Piper, please stop talking.”
The second leprechaun pulled out a scroll. A literal scroll .He unrolled it dramatically.
Second Leprechaun: “By order of the High Council of the Fae, we demand the return of the gold coin and a formal apology.”
Coco: “We can give you one of those.”
Piper: “I will never apologize.”
Tinkerbell: “We’ll work on her.”
Tinkerbell stepped forward with her “I’m about to embarrass us all but I’m doing my best” energy.
Tinkerbell: “What if we return the coin but keep one of you as our butler”
All three leprechauns gasped.
Lead Leprechaun: “We are NOT for hire!”
Coco: “Do you have thumbs though.”
Second Leprechaun: “Yes, but…”
Coco: “Then you’re qualified.”
Piper, who had been vibrating with suppressed chaos, suddenly launched herself into the air like a furry missile. She didn’t attack the leprechauns. She attacked the scroll. She shredded it like it owed her money.
Lead Leprechaun: “That was a legal document!”
Piper: “It was crinkly and I have needs.”
Tinkerbell: “I’m so sorry. She’s spirited.”
Coco: “She’s unhinged.”
Piper: “I am the wind.”
The leprechauns huddled together, whispering urgently. Then the lead one turned back to the cats.
Lead Leprechaun: “Fine. Keep the coin. Keep yer chaos. Keep yer… creature.”
Piper hissed proudly
Lead Leprechaun: “But we are NEVER coming back here again.”
Tinkerbell: “That’s fair.”
Coco: “Reasonable.”
Piper: “Cowards! I saved us!”
Tinkerbell: “You caused this.”
Coco: “You’re grounded.”
Piper: “I regret nothing.”
And honestly she doesn’t. With a final puff of glitter, the leprechauns vanished like they’d just escaped a toxic work environment. The house fell silent. The kind of quiet that says, “We will not be discussing this again.” Tinkerbell sighed the sigh of a woman who has raised too many children who don’t listen. Coco picked up her clipboard and documented the incident like she was preparing for a congressional hearing wrote, “Note: Do not antagonize magical beings.” Piper strutted around with the swagger of someone who absolutely caused an international incident and would do it again before lunch like she’d won a war. And me? I just stood there, wondering how I became the legal guardian of three furry war criminals.
So, if you ever think your morning is chaotic, remember. Somewhere in Mississippi, a lesbian mother of three cats is sweeping up leprechaun glitter while grounding a creature who cannot legally vote but CAN shred a diplomatic document in under three seconds. There is one more part to this fiasco with leprechauns and cats. Stay tuned it will be here soon. Thanks for reading!
Affirmation: I navigate chaos with grace, humor, and the unshakable confidence of a creature who absolutely did not start the fight but will finish it.
“Coco tried to negotiate. Piper tried to bite him. And Tinkerbell tried to pretend she didn’t know us.”
-This Puzzled Life
Light a candle. Grab a helmet. Alert the neighbors. And that’s when I knew this wasn’t just Part Two. This was divine punishment for every time I said, “My cats can’t possibly get any weirder.”Part Two begins with a sound no human should ever hear before coffee.
I was in the kitchen minding my business. And trying to decide whether coffee counts as a meal. When I heard a scream. Not a cat scream. Not a human scream. A scream that sounded like a kazoo having a panic attack.
I walked in and found a real leprechaun standing on my coffee table. He was looking like he’d been kidnapped by fate. And dropped directly into a house he did NOT have the emotional bandwidth for. My cats froze like they’d just seen a ghost, a rotisserie chicken, and the IRS all at once. The leprechaun adjusted his little green coat and glared at them.
Tinkerbell: “Oh Lord, he’s real.”
Coco: “We are so getting sued.”
Piper: “I call dibs on his ankles.”
Leprechaun: “Which one of ye hooligans set a trap made of catnip, cereal, and a shoelace”
Coco: “That would be Piper.”
Piper: “It was a strategic ankle‑biting device.”
Tinkerbell: “It was a cry for help.”
The leprechaun rubbed his temples like he suddenly understood why humans drink. Tinkerbell stepped forward with the confidence of a Southern grandmother about to negotiate a discount at Hobby Lobby.
Tinkerbell: “Sir, we’d like to offer you employment.”
Leprechaun: “Employment. As what.”
Coco: “Our butler.”
Piper: “Treat butler.”
Leprechaun: “I beg yer pardon.”
Tinkerbell: “You have thumbs. We don’t. It’s simple economics.”
The leprechaun stared at them like he was reconsidering the entire concept of magic. He made a run for it. Unfortunately for him, Piper also made a run for it. And she runs like a Roomba possessed by the Holy Spirit. She launched herself off the couch. Skidded across the hardwood. And slammed into the leprechaun like a furry bowling ball.
Leprechaun: “Lord above, get this creature off me!”
Piper: “I got him! I got the gold man!”
Tinkerbell: “Piper, release the hostage.”
Piper: “No. he’s mine!”
Coco: “Girl, you can’t just claim people like coupons.”
Once the leprechaun was upright again (and Piper was placed in a time‑out behind a baby gate), Tinkerbell attempted diplomacy.
Tinkerbell: “We don’t want to harm you. We simply want your gold.”
Leprechaun: “Absolutely not.”
Coco: “Okay, then we want your thumbs.”
Leprechaun: “Absolutely not.”
Piper:from behind the gate “I want his ankles.”
Tinkerbell: “Ignore her. She’s… spirited.”
After twenty minutes of arguing, bribery attempts, and Piper trying to chew through the baby gate like a raccoon, the leprechaun finally sighed.
Leprechaun: “Fine. I’ll give ye one coin if ye promise to never summon me again.”
Coco: “Deal.”
Tinkerbell: “Agreed.”
Piper: “Can I bite it to make sure it’s real?”
Leprechaun: “NO.”
He tossed the coin onto the rug, muttered something in Gaelic that I’m pretty sure was a curse, and vanished in a puff of glitter. Piper immediately tried to eat the coin. So now my cats have one magical gold coin, no butler, no thumbs, and a restraining order from the leprechaun realm. Disasters. Tinkerbell is drafting an apology letter to Ireland. Coco is Googling “how to invest one coin in crypto” Piper is behind a baby gate screaming, “I won the war!” And me? I’m just trying to drink my coffee in peace while living with three furry agents of chaos who almost started an international incident with the Fae.
And that, dear readers, is how my cats managed to terrify a magical creature, negotiate absolutely nothing, and still walk away with a gold coin that Piper immediately tried to swallow like it was communion. The leprechaun vanished in a puff of glitter, probably filing a complaint with the. The leprechaun vanished in a puff of glitter, probably filing a complaint with whatever Fae Department of Magical handles “feline‑related incidents.” is researching “how to retire on one coin.” Piper is behind a baby gate screaming, “I am the chosen one!” And me I’m just trying to figure out how to explain this to my therapist without getting put on a watchlist.
Don’t you worry. Part Three is on the way and trust me. The glitter storm hasn’t even peaked yet. Backup is on the way, and Piper is about to discover what consequences feel like. Stay tuned. Thanks for reading! Keep smiling.
Affirmation: I handle unexpected visitors with grace, unlike my cats who handle them with teeth.
“If you hear screaming, it’s either a leprechaun or me realizing my cats have a plan.”
-This Puzzled Life
Light the candles. Hide the valuables. Say a prayer for the drywall. Today’s blog begins with a level of chaos I did NOT sign up for. My three cats launching a full‑scale military operation to capture a leprechaun, and I am simply a bystander in my own home. And they are treating it like a joint military operation, a church potluck, and a felony all at once. And that’s when I knew this day was going to require caffeine, prayer, and possibly legal representation. Welcome to St. Cat‑rick’s Day: Chaos Edition.
I walked into the living room this morning and found all three cats sitting in a circle like they were planning a coup. Piper had a shoelace. Coco had a clipboard she definitely stole. Tinkerbell had reading glasses on, which is concerning because she does not need reading glasses.
Tinkerbell: “Ladies, today we hunt for gold.”
Coco: “And possibly a small magical man.”
Piper: “Can I bite him?”
Tinkerbell: “This meeting is now in session. Our objective? Capture a leprechaun.”
Coco: “Alive. Preferably. But we’ll see how the day goes.”
Piper: “Can I eat him?”
Tinkerbell: “No. We do not eat magical creatures.”
Piper: “Then what’s the point?”
Piper jumped onto the coffee table, knocking over a candle and three of my remaining brain cells. She unrolled a crumpled piece of paper with her teeth. It was a drawing. A terrible one.
Piper’s Plan was todig hole. Put leaf on hole. Wait. Bite ankles.
Coco: “That’s not a plan. That’s a felony.”
Piper: “It’s called strategy.”
Tinkerbell: “It’s called jail time.”
Coco strutted forward like she was presenting at a Fortune 500 shareholders meeting. She clicked a laser pointer at a diagram labeled:
“OPERATION: IRISH EXTRACTION”
Coco’s Plan was to Lure leprechaun with Lucky Charms. Replace marshmallows with catnip. When he gets high enough to see God, we take the gold.
Tinkerbell: “Coco, that’s entrapment.”
Coco: “Correct.”
Tinkerbell cleared her throat like a professor about to ruin everyone’s day.
Tinkerbell’s Plan was to negotiate. Offer him a fair trade. If he refuses, unleash Piper.
Piper: “I bite ankles.”
Tinkerbell: “Exactly.”
After 45 minutes of scheming, Coco suddenly froze.
Coco: “Wait. How big is a leprechaun?”
Tinkerbell: “Small. Human‑shaped. Magical.”
Piper: “So, snack‑sized?”
Coco: “No, Piper. Focus. If he’s human shaped, that means he has thumbs.”
All three cats gasped.
Tinkerbell: “Thumbs… the forbidden fruit.”
Coco: “We can’t defeat a creature with thumbs. He can open doors.”
Piper: “He can open the treat bag.”
The room fell silent. This was now a national emergency.
Tinkerbell: “We don’t capture the leprechaun. We hire him.”
Coco: “As our butler.”
Piper: “Treat butler.”
Tinkerbell: “Exactly. We offer him a job in exchange for his gold and his thumbs.”
Coco: “And if he refuses…”
Piper: “I bite ankles.”
My cats are not catching a leprechaun. They are unionizing to recruit one. And honestly I’m afraid they might succeed. That, dear readers, is how I discovered my cats were running an unsanctioned military operation in my living room. I’m just over here trying to drink my coffee while Piper drafts war strategies in crayon. Coco files paperwork with an authority she absolutely does not have. And Tinkerbell sighs like she’s the only adult in a daycare full of feral toddlers.
If you think this story ends here, bless your heart. Because the leprechaun hasn’t even shown up yet. And when he does oh, honey. Part Two is coming, and it’s about to get louder, greener, and significantly more illegal. Stay tuned because the chaos is just stretching.
Affirmation: I am calm, even when my cats declare war on magical creatures.
“I’m not petty. I just take notes, hold grudges, and wait for the perfect moment to be dramatic.”
-Unknown
Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. Today’s tale is not just a story. It’s a full‑blown saga of survival, betrayal, and the kind of pettiness that only footwear can inspire. This is a dramatic retelling of a flip-flip with a personal vendetta against me.
Here the chaos is homemade. The cats are judgmental. And apparently even my flip‑flops have entered their villain era. I woke up this morning expecting peace. Maybe even a little productivity. Or a snack. Instead, I was ambushed by a flip-flop with the structural integrity of wet cardboard and the attitude of a disgruntled ex.
If you’ve ever been personally victimized by a shoe that decided to give up mid‑stride. Buckle up. Today’s blog is dedicated to the moment my flip‑flop folded under my foot. Sent me into a slow‑motion spiritual crisis. And made me question whether I was alive, dead, or trapped in a deleted scene from a Final Destination movie.
Let’s begin with the facts. I was simply walking. Existing. Being a peaceful, responsible adult in my own home. And then, the flip-flop snapped. Not loudly. Not dramatically. But with the quiet confidence of a ninja who knows exactly what they’re doing. One moment it was on my foot. The next moment, it folded under me like a cheap lawn chair at a family reunion. And that’s when time slowed down.
The slow-motion fall of shame was about to commence. I didn’t just stumble. I entered a full movie experience that is the kind where the camera zooms in. The soundtrack fades. And you suddenly understand every decision that led you to this moment.
My arms flew out like I was trying to hug a ghost. My face did that “oh no oh no oh no” expression usually reserved for people who drop their phone in the toilet. My body tilted forward at the speed of a melting popsicle. And I desperately shouted towards the heavens, “Jesus, I’m on the way!” I swear I could hear Morgan Freeman narrating, “And this is where she realized the flip-flop had won.”
Meanwhile, my cats watched the entire thing like it was the season finale of a show they weren’t emotionally invested in. But refused to stop watching. Tinkerbell blinked slowly, as if to say, “Gravity is undefeated.” Coco tilted her head like she was calculating the odds of me surviving. Piper cheered. Out loud. For the flip-flop.
When I finally landed, I realized that I was somehow alive. Somehow I am still holding onto my dignity by a thread. I looked at that flip-flop with the kind of betrayal usually reserved for exes and malfunctioning printers and said, “How in the hell did that just happen?” It just lay there. Smug. Smiling. Acting like it didn’t just try to send me to the ER with a story no doctor would take seriously. Imagine explaining it: “What happened?” “Well, my flip-flop got bold.” And yet, I still wear them.
I’m petty, but I’m also practical. And that’s the toxic relationship we’re in now. Me pretending I’m in control. The flip-flop waiting for its next opportunity to humble me in slow motion. If you’ve ever been personally victimized by a flip-flop that betrayed you, just know. You are strong. You are resilient. You are a survivor of unnecessary footwear drama. And if your fall happened in slow motion too? Congratulations! You’re the main character now.
And so, after my flip‑flop betrayed me in slow motion and my soul briefly disconnected from my body like a Wi‑Fi signal in a storm, I lay there on the floor trying to figure out if I was alive, dead, or stuck somewhere in the customer‑service hold line between the two. My body revolted so dramatically that my knees were shaking, toes confused, and a spine filing a formal complaint. For a solid ten seconds I genuinely thought I had crossed over. I was ready to meet my ancestors and explain, with shame, that a $4 flip-flop took me out.
But I survived. Barely. Emotionally? No. Physically? Questionable. Spiritually? I’m still buffering.
And now, as a resident of the Deep South, the land where flip‑flops are practically a state symbol, I must reevaluate everything I thought I knew. My relationship with this sacred, unreliable footwear must undergo a complete redraw. A full strategic overhaul. A rebranding. A summit. A PowerPoint presentation titled: “How to Remain Upright While Wearing Shoes That Are One Strong Breeze Away From Quitting.”
Clearly, success in the South requires more than sweet tea. Humidity tolerance. And the ability to bless someone’s heart with conviction. It requires learning how to coexist with a commonly faulty type of footwear that has no loyalty, no morals, and no sense of timing. But mark my words. I will rise again. I will walk again. And next time, I’m wearing sneakers. Thanks for reading! Keep smiling.
Affirmation: “I am a flip‑flop survivor. I have wobbled, stumbled, and briefly questioned my entire existence, yet here I stand. No flimsy flip-flop forged in the fires of poor manufacturing will take me out today.”
Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. Today, I want to tell you about a strain that is good for the time of year where we all begin enjoy the warm sun. This strain is called Suncake.
Suncake is a 60/40 indica-dominant hybrid. It is a cross between Sunset Sherbet x Wedding Cake. Sunset Sherbet is a cross between Girl Scout Cookies x Pink Panties. Wedding Cake is a cross between Triangle Kush x Animal Mints. It’s flavoring consists of a sweet, creamy, berry, vanilla cake, and tropical citrus. However, I just identified light citrus notes.
Top terpenes in this strain are Limonene, Caryophyllene, and Linalool. Patients report relief from conditions such as insomnia, chronic pain, appetite loss, nausea, chronic stress, depression, and mood swings. This strain I would call an easy and slightly indica dominant strain. Yes, you can use this during the day as long as you’re an experienced indica smoker. Novice smokers might enjoy this one better as night. Either way, it does not act real indica. The effects feel much more like a balanced hybrid with a nice elevation in mood.
“Ignorance about self‑harm spreads fast. But education stomps out stupidity quicker than a truth bomb at a family reunion.”
-This Puzzled Life
Light the candles. Hide the breakables. Tell the ancestors to brace themselves. We’re diving into self‑harm myths and the conservative Christian commentary, literally, no one requested. This is where we bust nonsense. Drop truth. And let the cats handle the theology since they’re the only ones qualified.
Self‑harm myths spread faster than gossip at a Mississippi baby shower. They are dramatic, wrong, and usually sourced from someone’s cousin’s friend’s Facebook post from 2012. The cats immediately held a revival in the hallway. Piper paced like a preacher warming up. Coco knocked over a Bible‑verse plaque. Tinkerbell just stared like, “Bless their hearts. But also, absolutely not.”
When some conservative Christians talk about self‑harm, they don’t offer compassion. They offer ignorance wrapped in scripture. And tied with a bow of hurtfulness. They confuse suffering with sin. And empathy with enabling. And the spiritual accuracy of a possum reading a teleprompter.
Meanwhile, the cats are like, “Have y’all tried kindness? Revolutionary concept.”
They held a full meeting:
Tinkerbell: “Ignorance is a choice.”
Coco: “And they’re choosing it like it’s on sale at Walmart.”
Piper: “If you don’t understand self‑harm, educate yourself. If you can’t, be quiet. If you can’t be quiet, go sit with the breakables.”
Then we hit the myths:
“They want attention.” If people wanted attention, they’d post a vague Facebook status. Self‑harm is hidden, private, and absolutely not performance art.
“It only affects crazy people.” It affects anyone with a nervous system. Trauma doesn’t check IDs.
“Why don’t they just ask for help?” Asking for help requires vulnerability, safety, and courage. Not everyone has that on tap.
“They want to die.” Self‑harm and suicidal intent aren’t twins. They’re distant cousins who accidentally wore matching shirts.
“Talking about it makes people do it.” If talking made things happen, I’d have abs by now. Silence harms. Conversation helps.
“It’s weakness.” Please. Anyone who’s survived trauma or a Southern holiday dinner is basically an emotional Navy SEAL.
And here’s the truth they never want to hear. Self‑harm is a difficult, deeply human coping behavior that can become addictive. Not a sin. Not a scandal. Not a character flaw. If I didn’t have scars, most folks wouldn’t know I’ve been navigating this for thirty‑seven years. But conservative Christians and ego‑inflated professionals always have the same three‑step treatment plan, “Open your Bible.” “We’ll add you to the prayer list.” “Just stop.” Groundbreaking. Truly. Why didn’t the entire field of psychology think of that?
Instead of compassion, they hammer nails into your coffin like it’s a church‑sponsored carpentry contest. They weaponize scripture. Sanctify stigma. And call it love. Even though judgment has never healed a single wound. But I’m still here. Still healing. Still telling the truth they’d rather bury. Still refusing to shrink so someone else can stay comfortable in their ignorance. If that makes me the family heretic, the rainbow‑colored black sheep, or the one who “asks too many questions,” then bless their hearts. I’d rather be honest and alive than silent and suffering. Thanks for reading! Stay educated.
Affirmation:I choose clarity, compassion, and growth. Ignorance has never healed a single soul.
“My system handles trauma like professionals. But the cats handle drama like they’re auditioning for a reality show called Real Housewives of the Litter Box.”
-This Puzzled Life
Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Secure the breakables. Today’s episode of This Puzzled Life features a full‑blown feline committee meeting after Piper, chaos in fur form, announced that she “might have Dissociative Identity Disorder.”
I have Dissociative Identity Disorder. Piper, however, is simply dramatic. And Tinkerbell and Coco are done with her antics. Welcome back where the sage is burning. The humidity is disrespectful. And the cats are holding more meetings than a Mississippi school board.
This morning started like any other. I was minding my business. Drinking my coffee. And trying to keep my nervous system from filing a complaint with HR. When Piper strutted into the room and announced that she “might have Dissociative Identity Disorder.” Before I could even blink, she was paw‑dialing my therapy coach like she had Blue Cross Blue Shield and a co‑pay. And that’s when Tinkerbell and Coco called an emergency meeting. Because apparently, in this house, I’m not the only one with a system. I’m just the only one with a diagnosis.
Tinkerbell climbed onto the arm of the couch like she was chairing a Mississippi church committee.
Tinkerbell: “This meeting will now come to order. Piper has made a claim. A bold one.”
Piper: “Ok. Well, there is no easy way to say this. I have DID.”
Tinkerbell: “Piper, having nine lives is not the same thing as having nine personalities. Stop confusing reincarnation with psychology.”
Coco: “Yeah, girl. Nine lives just means you make nine bad decisions. Not that you need nine therapists.”
Piper gasps, fluffs up, dramatic tail twitch
Piper: “Wow! So, nobody believes me? Nobody supports my journey? I’m being silenced. This is oppression. I’m calling coach right now!”
Coco: “You can’t even remember where you left your toy mouse. Sit down.”
Piper: “I am a complex being with layers!”
Tinkerbell: “You’re a lasagna with fur. Calm down.”
Coco flicked her tail like she was swatting away generational trauma.
Coco: “She doesn’t have DID. She has Too Much Drama Disorder.”
Piper, sprawled across a pillow like a Victorian widow, sighed dramatically.
Piper: “Sometimes I feel like different versions of me.”
Tinkerbell blinked slowly. The kind of blink that says, Lord, give me strength.
Piper sat up, whiskers trembling with self‑importance.
Piper: “Sometimes I’m sweet. Sometimes I’m spicy. Sometimes I’m feral. That’s at least three personalities.”
Coco rolled her eyes so hard she almost saw her past lives.
According to Piper, and only Piper, she “dissociates” at least three times a day. To everyone else in the house, she simply forgets what she’s doing because she’s Piper.
This morning, she was walking toward her food bowl with purpose, confidence, and the swagger of a cat who believes she pays rent. Halfway there, she froze. Stared into the void. And blinked like she’d just been unplugged and rebooted.
Tinkerbell watched her with the patience of a grandmother who’s seen too much.
Tinkerbell: “She’s not dissociating. She’s buffering.”
Coco flicked her tail
Coco: “That’s not a switch. That’s a brain fart.”
But Piper insisted.
Piper: “I think I dissociated. I forgot what I was doing.”
Tinkerbell sighed
Tinkerbell:“Sweetheart, you forget what you’re doing because you have the attention span of a dust bunny.”
Coco: “If staring at the wall counts as dissociating, then every cat on Earth needs a therapist.”
Piper, unbothered, continued staring into the middle distance like she was receiving messages from the universe.
Piper:“I just drifted away.”
Tinkerbell:“You drifted because you saw a dust particle and got confused.”
Coco: “You’re not dissociating. You’re daydreaming with commitment.”
Coco: “That’s called being a cat.”
Tinkerbell nodded
Tinkerbell: “You’re not special, darling. You’re just enthusiastic.”
Piper gasped like someone insulted her casserole at a church potluck.
Piper: “So you’re saying I’m dramatic?”
Coco: “I’m saying you’re Piper.”
This is where things went off the rails. Piper marched over to my phone. Tapped the screen with her paw, and said,
Piper: “I’m calling our therapy coach. I need a professional opinion.”
Tinkerbell nearly fell off the couch.
Tinkerbell: “Absolutely not. You are not dragging a licensed human into your nonsense.”
Coco leapt forward like she was blocking a football pass.
Coco: “Put the phone down. You don’t even know the passcode.”
Piper: “I know it’s numbers.”
Tinkerbell: “That is not enough.”
Piper: “I just want to ask if I have DID.”
Coco: “You don’t even have object permanence.”
Tinkerbell gestured toward me like she was presenting a case study.
Tinkerbell: “Our mom has DID. That’s a real thing. A trauma thing. A serious thing.”
Coco nodded, suddenly solemn
Coco: “She’s strong. She’s healing. She’s doing the work. You, on the other hand, tried to eat a rubber band yesterday.”
Piper: “It looked like a noodle.”
Tinkerbell: “It was not a noodle.”
Coco: “You’re not dissociating. You’re just unsupervised.”
Tinkerbell cleared her throat like a judge delivering a sentence
Tinkerbell: “Piper does not have DID. What she does have is excessive enthusiasm, poor impulse control, a flair for the dramatic, and a mother who spoils her.
Coco: “Case closed. Someone bring snacks.”
Piper: “I still think I should call the therapy coach.”
Tinkerbell: “If you touch that phone again, I’m calling Jesus.”
And as we wrap up this episode of Cats Who Need Supervision, I’ve realized something important. Living with DID is complex, sacred, and deeply human. But living with these cats is a full‑time job with no benefits and no union representation.
Some days my system is grounded and organized. Other days it’s buffering like a Dollar Tree Wi‑Fi router in a thunderstorm. And meanwhile, Piper is over here diagnosing herself with conditions she found on TikTok. Tinkerbell is exhausted. Coco is judging everyone. And Piper is still trying to call the therapy coach.
To all of us I wish healing, much laughter, surviving, and keeping the phone away from the cat who thinks she needs a treatment plan. And Piper? She’s grounded from the phone until further notice. Thanks for reading! Hug a cat if they let you.
Affirmation: Every part of you is powerful and worthy. And Piper, in all her chaotic glory, fully supports your healing while acting like she’s the self‑appointed spokesperson for your system.
“My brain runs like a full‑time committee meeting, and the cats still think they’re the ones in charge.”
-This Puzzled Life
Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. Today’s blog is about Dissociative Identity Disorder. And three cats who have absolutely no business being professionally involved. But who insist on participating like they’re on salary.
Welcome to another episode of “My Life Is a Sitcom and Nobody Warned Me.” Secure your wigs. Because today we’re diving into DID Awareness also known as “Me, Myself, and the Entire Internal Group Chat.”
Living with DID means my brain runs like a committee meeting that could’ve been an email. And my cats act like they’re the board of directors.
Tinkerbell: “Your system is more organized than Congress.”
Coco: “At least y’all communicate.”
Piper: “If your brain ever needs a new member, I’m available.”
Me: “Piper, sweetheart, this is not American Idol: Internal System Edition.”
But here we are. Me, my parts, my healing journey, and three cats who think they’re licensed clinicians. And they are ready to bring some humor, honesty, and a little Southern seasoning to DID Awareness Month. Strap in. It’s about to get educational, emotional, and unnecessarily funny.
DID is one of those topics people whisper about like it’s a scandal, a secret, or the recipe for Coca‑Cola. But in this house? We talk about it openly, honestly, and with the kind of humor that keeps us from spontaneously combusting into a pile of stress glitter.
I have DID. Not “movie DID.” Not “Hollywood horror plot DID.” Actual, clinical, trauma‑born DID. It’s the kind that forms when a child survives more than any child ever should. And let me tell you, the cats have notes.
Tinkerbell (the wise elder): “Mom has a whole internal board of directors. I respect that. Some of y’all can’t even manage one mood.”
Coco (the judgmental aunt): “Honestly, the system is more organized than half the humans I’ve met. At least they communicate.”
Piper (chaos incarnate): “Do you think they’d let me join? I have ideas.”
Me: “Piper, this is not a talent show. This is a mental health condition.”
DID isn’t scary. It isn’t dangerous. It isn’t whatever nonsense Hollywood keeps trying to sell. It is a trauma response. A survival strategy. A brilliant adaptation. And a system built to protect a child who deserved safety. My system isn’t broken. It’s creative. It’s resilient. It’s the reason I’m still here. And the cats? They act like they’ve known every part since birth.
Tinkerbell: “Oh, this one likes soft blankets. Bring her the good one.”
Coco: “This one needs boundaries. I’ll supervise.”
Piper: “This one lets me climb the curtains.”
How does DID manifest? It is switching when overwhelmed and losing time. It’s different parts having different needs and internal conversations. It’s healing in layers. And learning to work as a team. It also looks like me drinking water because one part insists. Me resting because another refuses to push through. Me laughing because someone inside cracked a joke. And me healing because we’re doing this together. And the cats? They think they’re helping.
Coco: “I’m providing emotional support.”
Piper: “I’m providing chaos.”
Tinkerbell: “I’m providing supervision because these children need guidance.”
People with DID aren’t fragile. We aren’t dangerous. We aren’t confused. We aren’t “making it up.” We’re survivors. We’re complex. We’re healing. We’re doing the work. And we deserve understanding, not fear. Compassion, not judgment. Support, not silence.
Tinkerbell: “Respect the system. It’s doing its best.”
Coco: “Awareness is important. Also, snacks.”
Piper: “If your brain ever needs a new member, I’m available.”
Me: “Piper, absolutely not.”
And as we wrap up this little journey through DID Awareness Month, complete with sage smoke, hydration, internal committee meetings, and three cats who are my emotional support staff .
DID is basically like trying to reboot a Wi‑Fi router from 2007. While the cats are batting the cords. The universe is buffering. And one part is whispering, “Have you tried turning it off and back on again?”
Some days I’m gliding through life like a well‑oiled machine. Other days I’m switching, grounding, journaling, and negotiating with my nervous system like it’s a toddler who missed nap time. And occasionally, the whole system is like, “Ma’am, we were not built for this timeline.” Meanwhile, the cats are offering commentary like they’re on payroll.
Here’s to us choosing growth even when our brains are running on 3% battery. Choosing compassion even when our patience is on backorder. And choosing to keep going even when life feels like a Walmart parking lot at 2 a.m.
And then strut into the rest of your life like a woman who has survived every plot twist. Including the ones that arrived unannounced, barefoot, and holding a casserole of chaos. Because you’re still here. You’re still growing. And honestly? You’re doing better than half the people who think “self‑care” means buying a succulent and ignoring their feelings. Healing is holy. Humor is medicine. And I am too stubborn. I am too supported by my internal team and these judgmental cats to give up now. Thanks for reading! Keep moving forward.
Affirmation: I honor every part of my system. The strong ones, the soft ones, the tired ones, and the healing ones. I move through this world with resilience, humor, and a whole internal team that refuses to give up on me. I am whole, worthy, supported, and doing beautifully, no matter who’s fronting or which cat thinks they’re in charge today.
Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. In keeping with the self-harm awareness color orange, I want to tell you about a strain called Tangerine Dream.
Tangerine Dream is a sativa-dominant hybrid that is a cross between G13 x Afghani x Neville’s A5 Haze. G13 exact parent strains are unknown. But we do know that it’s a 70/30 indica-dominant. Afghani is a landrace strain that is a pure indica. Haze is a blend of four landrace strain that are Mexican, Colombian, South Indian, and Thai stative strains.
Top terpenes in this strain are Myrcene, Caryophyllene, and Limonene. Patients report relief from arthritis, chronic pain, depression, fatigue, headaches, inflammation, insomnia, loss of appetite, migraines, and stress. The taste is definitely a sweet and fruity flavor. As with any sativa-dominant strain be aware that if you have a problem with anxiety, it can increase an already miserable anxiety situation. I have a lot of anxiety, and I always take it easy with these kinds of strains until I know how it will affect me. This strain isn’t as potent as Green Crack. Just don’t go crazy “hot boxing.” Thanks for reading! Keep blazin.’
Affirmation: I consume with intention and gratitude for the experience.
This Puzzled Life 