CBD Awareness: My Cats Said I’m Legally Required to Calm Down

 “My cats said CBD won’t get me high. But it will keep me from acting like a Walmart parking lot Greek tragedy. And honestly, that feels like growth.”

-This Puzzled Life

Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Let the ancestors lean in the doorway with their arms crossed. The moment that smoke hit the ceiling fan, my household convened an emergency session of the Feline Administration to discuss CBD Awareness Month. And the cats had notes.

Piper, Coco, and Tinkerbell marched in like three county commissioners who did not read the briefing packet. But absolutely intend to argue about it. Piper arrived first. She’s was dragging a legal pad she stole from my desk. She hopped onto the coffee table. Cleared her throat and announced, “CBD Awareness Month is important because humans are stressed, chaotic, and prone to hollering at inanimate objects. We must intervene.”

Coco strutted in next. And late on purpose. She believes time is a social construct. And also because she was busy knocking something off a shelf. She plopped down. Tail flicking and said, “CBD is fine. But why do y’all keep buying the expensive treats and then acting surprised when I eat the whole bag?”

Tinkerbell arrived last with the energy of a Southern auntie who already decided the meeting was foolish. But came for the snacks. She sat like a sphinx and declared, “CBD is the plant spirit that keeps y’all from crying in the Walmart parking lot. We support it.”

The Cats’ Official CBD Purposes

According to the Feline Administration, CBD has three sacred functions.

  • Stress & anxiety relief-“Because y’all vibrate like a microwave on popcorn mode.”
  • Chaos reduction-“In theory, though, I’ve seen no evidence.”
  • Increased compliance with feline demands- Tinkerbell insists this is scientifically proven by staring at me until I give her treats.

Then they expanded the list like they were reading off a menu.

  • Calms the humans-“Because y’all vibrate like a cheap motel air conditioner.”
  • Inflammation & pain-“Your knees sound like a haunted rocking chair.”
  • Sleep support-“You need it. We need you to need it.”
  • Mood regulation-“You get dramatic,” all three say in unison.
  • General human foolishness-“Self-explanatory.”

They also want it noted that CBD helps humans stop doom scrolling. Stop overthinking texts. Stop reorganizing the pantry at 3 a.m. and stop crying at dog food commercials. It gives you the ability to forgive yourself for eating an entire sleeve of cookies. And the mystical moment when you realize you are the drama. But also the solution.

Piper hopped onto the table with a binder labeled CBD: A Non‑Psychoactive Situation. Coco dragged in a whiteboard she absolutely cannot read. Tinkerbell arrived late again, ready to deliver a TED Talk titled Calm Down, Human: The Plant Is Legal Now.

Piper began: “CBD is federally legal as long as it comes from hemp and contains less than 0.3% THC. Which means, human, you can stop whispering like you’re buying contraband behind the Piggly Wiggly.”

Coco: “It does not alter your mind. It alters your attitude. And frankly, we support that.”

Tinkerbell: “It’s non‑psychoactive. Which means you’re not getting high. You’re getting functional. You’re getting emotionally moisturized. You’re getting less likely to cry over a dropped chicken nugget.”

The Guidelines (Because Apparently I Needed Rules)

Piper, now self‑appointed Director of Human Regulation, laid out the official policies.

  • Do not give CBD to cats without a vet’s approval. “We are perfect as‑is.”
  • Humans should use CBD responsibly. “Meaning don’t take it and then try to assemble furniture.”
  • CBD is not a personality trait. Tinkerbell says this while staring directly at me.
  • If CBD helps you chill, hydrate, and mind your business, the cats approve. Especially the “mind your business” part.

Then they sat me down like I was on trial.

Piper said, “We’ve observed the pacing. The muttering. The dramatic sighing. And the emotional support snacks. Clearly, CBD awareness is overdue.”

Coco added, “And while we support your journey, we would also like to know why you get the calming treats and we get vibes.”

Tinkerbell stared at me unblinking, like she was reading my aura and finding overdue library books in it. She then hopped onto the altar (my coffee table). Placed one paw on my forehead, and proclaimed:

“May your joints be loose. Your sleep be deep. Your snacks be plentiful. And your spirit be unbothered. May CBD soften your edges but not your boundaries. And may you never, ever forget to refill the treat jar.”

The sage crackled. The ancestors nodded. And the cats declared CBD Awareness Month officially adjourned. Piper knocked over a plant. Coco demanded lunch. Tinkerbell stole my pen. The plant is innocent. The human is the problem. Thanks for reading! Keep medicating.

Affirmation: “I am calm, collected, and legally compliant. I soften my edges, not my boundaries, and I do it with the confidence of a cat who just knocked something over on purpose.”

***Don’t forget to watch the video!***

#ThisPuzzledLife

What’s Happening To Hemp?

“Policy made without open hearings can lead to unintended harm and fuel the very unregulated market lawmakers aim to prevent.”

-Justin Eve, Hemp Grower

Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. Ok, so today I want to tell you about the recent nationwide banning of hemp. And this is about to heavily affect people’s lives. I can say personally that I’m very disappointed. Let me explain everything that is going on and what to keep an eye on.

With the recent government shutdown and eventual reopening, the spending bill called the Continuing Appropriations and Extension Act of 2026 had nestled in its grasp was a new law that changed the THC limit from .3% delta-9-THC to .3% total THC. This action has closed the loophole in the 2018 Farm Bill which allowed for people to find relief when medical cannabis was not available. The new restrictions specifically prohibits products containing  more than .4 mgs of total THC per container and bans the use of synthetic or artificial derived cannabinoids.

What does this mean? This means that the cap on THC will now prevent people from getting much needed relief and, once again, pushes consumers to the black market for products. Now, I was not in favor of these products because they were not regulated and gave cannabis a bad name by allowing irresponsible teens to have access to “gas station” and “headshop” products which have made people very sick. This includes CBD, THCa, delta-8, delta-9, edibles and vapes. As usual, though, instead of creating reforms to protect consumers, they have essentially made the products useless. I’m all about regulation because when it’s not regulated there are no testing safety standards that are required for medical cannabis. Therefore, there’s actually no telling what is in these products.

There are full spectrum products that contain THC and other compounds. Broad spectrum products that contain cannabinoids, which many use synthetics, but not the THC to get you high. And isolate products such as delta-8 and delta-9 which are primarily just isolated THC molecules. 

The opposition states that the products are allowed to continue getting people high. Ok, well, the loophole allowed these products to have THCa because it was not THC. The conversion happens when a heat source like a lighter or an oven is used to release the psychoactive effects of the plant. So, essentially the product was still weed that would get you high. The difference is what stage the plant is harvested.

Many people use CBD, which is a cannabinoid found in the cannabis plant, to help relief the uncomfortable effects of many conditions. So now, because of the limits, this relief would require copious amounts of those same products, which is not practical or affordable. This is set to go into effect on November 18, 2026. You might be asking yourself why so far away?

This allows for further legislation which is already in the works to keep these products on the market safely. However, now this will be a federal ban on hemp products which will supersede state governance. The hemp industry is estimated to be supported by 300,000 jobs. And the economic estimates are $28.4 billion in annual sales. The time period allows industry to adapt and to potentially establish a regulatory framework. It also allows federal agencies like the FDA to clarify specific definitions and for the states to determine how they will interpret the federal restrictions within their own cannabis laws. And  an immediate ban would have caused immediate chaos and economic disruption (www.thehill.com, 2025).

If something isn’t done,  the redefinition of hemp will recriminalize most existing intoxicating hemp products which will now impose new, very low THC limits per container. For patients not living in a medical cannabis state, hemp-derived products were their only legal access to certain cannabinoids. The ban would eliminate the alternative completely. And it would limit patient access to only FDA approved drugs with only CBD and no THC (www.statnews.com, 2025).

And what organizations are funding this bill? You got it! Major alcohol industry companies such as: American Distilled Spirits Alliance, Beer Institute, Distilled Spirits Council of the United States, Wine America, and Wine Institute, pushed towards this ban as well as other retail giants such as Coca-Cola, Nestle, General Mills, Bacardi North America, and Moet Hennessy USA (https:mjbizdaily.com, 2025). Key congressional figures include Mitch McConnell, Dick Durbin, Tammy Duckworth, Brian Mast, and Nancy Mace (https://stateline.org, 2025). Please contact your congress men and women to urge a protective framework rather than a full ban. Those whose quality of life depends on it. Thanks for reading!

Affirmations: My body is filled with healing energy whenever I use hemp products.

***Don’t forget to watch the video!***

 #Thispuzzledlife