Dangerous

darnold1975

How This Administration Resembles a Codependent Domestic Violence Dynamic 

“Chaos is not leadership. And fear is not love.”

-This Puzzled Life

 Light the charcoal. Invoke the ancestors. Tell Big Mama to hold my earrings. And pass me the sweet tea. Because I am about to testify.

You wake up one morning. Look around at the state of the country and think, “Lord, this feels less like a government. And more like that one cousin who keeps choosing the same toxic partner even though the whole family has staged three interventions and a prayer circle.”

I’m not saying we’re in a co-dependent relationship with national leadership. I’m just saying the vibes are giving that “Baby, I promise I’ll change”, “You made me do this”, “Don’t you dare leave me. I’ll fall apart”, and “Ignore the chaos. Look at this shiny distraction.” And the ancestors are whispering, “Child, we survived Reconstruction, Jim Crow, and your Aunt Linda’s potato salad. We can survive this too.” Meanwhile my cats, Piper, Coco, and Tinkerbell, have been pacing the living room like furry social workers trying to diagnose the entire administration with a DSM‑5 entry that doesn’t exist yet. Here’s what they said.

Piper: “Momma, this administration is giving classic co-dependent chaos. The gaslighting alone could power a mid‑sized city.”

Coco: “I’ve seen healthier dynamics in a feral cat colony behind a Waffle House.”

Tinkerbell: “Honestly, I’m not saying the country needs therapy. But the country needs therapy. And snacks. Preferably tuna.”

They sat me down like I was the one making the decisions. Their tails flicking with judgment and said, “Write it down. People need to know.” So here we are with a few examples that we as a cat-led household made together. 

1. The Constant Emotional Whiplash

What it feels like: One day the national conversation is about infrastructure. The next day it’s about a celebrity feud. Then suddenly it’s a press conference about something unrelated. Followed by a late‑night social media post that sends the whole country into a spiral.

It’s the emotional equivalent of being told, “We’re breaking up,” “We’re getting married,” and “I bought a boat,” all in the same hour.

Piper: “Mother, I get less dizzy watching you spin in circles trying to find your keys.”

2. The Gaslighting Olympics

What it feels like: A statement is made publicly. It’s recorded. It’s replayed. Then the next day, the message becomes, “That never happened,” “You misunderstood,” or “You’re being dramatic.” It mirrors the emotional dynamic where someone denies your reality even while you’re holding the receipts in your hand like a CVS-length scroll.

Coco: “I once knocked a plant off the counter. And stared you dead in the face like I didn’t do it. Even I have more integrity than that.”

3. The Love‑Bombing Phase

What it feels like: Every time public frustration grows, there’s a sudden dramatic announcement. A big promise. A bold statement. And a “historic” something. It’s the political version of “I know I messed up. But look I bought you a gift! Don’t be mad.”

Tinkerbell: “Classic distraction technique. I’ve done this with yarn. Works every time.”

4. The Secret Lives

What it feels like: Meetings behind closed doors. Sudden policy shifts. Surprise announcements. Conflicting explanations. It creates the emotional sense of living with someone who has a whole second life you only find out about when the neighbors mention something suspicious.

Piper: “I’ve seen raccoons with more transparency. And raccoons literally wash their food in sewer water.”

5. The Blame‑Shifting Ballet

What it feels like: No matter what happens with economic issues, public confusion, international tension, the message becomes, “It wasn’t me.” “It was them.” “It was you.” “It was the weather.” “It was the deep state, the shallow state, the medium‑rare state.” It’s the emotional pattern of someone who breaks your favorite mug and then says, “Well, you shouldn’t have put it on a shelf.”

Coco: “I once blamed Piper for a fart. This is the same energy.”

6. The ‘Don’t Leave Me’ Panic

What it feels like: Every election cycle becomes a high‑stakes emotional hostage situation that sounds like, “If you leave, everything will fall apart.” “If you stay, everything will be fine.” “If you question me, you’re the problem.” It’s the classic codependent dynamic where the partner insists the relationship will collapse without them. Even though the relationship is already collapsing with them.

Tinkerbell: “Girl, I’ve seen cardboard boxes with more stability.”

Here’s the truth that is spoken with sage smoke swirling. And my cats nodding like furry elders. We deserve a better relationship with our government that feels less like we need a safety plan, a therapist, and a casserole from the church ladies. We deserve leadership that doesn’t trigger our fight‑or‑flight response every time we check the news. We deserve stability, accountability, and the emotional maturity of at least one well-adjusted adult. And until we get it, the ancestors say, “Stand tall. Speak truth. And don’t let anybody, especially your government,  treat you like you don’t know your worth.” Thanks for reading! And don’t forget to go vote.

Affirmation: I deserve clarity, truth, and safety in my relationships, my home, and my country.

***Don’t forget to watch the video!!!***

#ThisPuzzled Life

darnold1975

The Kennedy Who Should’ve Been Left at the Gas Station

“When the fools get loud, the wise get louder.”

-This Puzzled Life

Light the charcoal. Invoke the ancestors. Today, we are not just telling a story. We are opening a spiritual case file. Flipping through the receipts. And calling on every grandmother who ever whispered, “Lord, give me strength,” while stirring a pot of beans on low heat.

Pull up a chair. Settle your spirit. And let the smoke rise like a prayer. The absolute mess we’re about to discuss requires divine intervention. Celestial supervision. And at least three ancestors who died with their arms crossed and their eyebrows raised.

The charcoal is crackling. The veil is thin. And the ancestors are already leaning in like, “Child, what did he do now?”

In this satirical universe where chaos reigns. And common sense is on sabbatical. Government officials behave like they were raised by feral raccoons. We must call upon the old ones. Because only the ancestors can help us process the level of unhinged, backwoods, science‑dodging, roadkill‑collecting foolishness we’re about to unpack. So, gather ‘round. Let the smoke carry our disbelief to the heavens. The ancestors are already clutching their pearls. Let’s begin.

A Fully Unhinged Exposé Of Robert Kennedy, Jr.

  1. He collects roadkill like a buzzard with a coupon book. And raccoon peeners? Top of the list. He calls them “nature’s USB drives.” No one knows why.
  2. He claims a brain worm once ate part of his brain. The worm died of starvation. Scientists are still apologizing to the worm’s family.
  3. He once found a dead bear cub. Tossed it in his SUV. And staged it in Central Park as a bicycle accident. What in the Caucasian hell was the artistic vision here? “Bear on Wheels: A Tragedy?”
  4. He chainsawed the head off a whale and strapped it to the family minivan. With his family inside. Nothing says “summer vacation” like whale decapitation.
  5. He spreads anti‑vaccine propaganda like it’s essential oils for the soul. Meanwhile, measles is back like a 90s boy band reunion tour.
  6. He claims Tylenol and vaccines cause autism.Genetics: “Hi, yes, hello, it’s literally me.”
  7. He blames chemicals and antidepressants for school shootings instead of guns or germs.This is the kind of logic you get when your brain worm files for unemployment.
  8. He gutted the CDC and FDA like a catfish at a Baptist fish fry. mRNA development? Gone. Science? On lunch break.
  9. “Zombie Programs” remain funded but inactive. Alzheimer’s tracking, epilepsy data, smoking research all ghosted like a bad Tinder date.
  10. Milk testing programs paused. Because who needs safe milk? Just roll the dice, America.
  11. Foodborne disease surveillance cut from eight pathogens to two. Cyclospora, the explosive diarrhea parasite, now running free like it’s on spring break.
  12. Salmonella linked to eggs, jalapeños, salsa, guacamole. Basically, anything that makes life worth living.
  13. E. coli linked to frozen blueberries. Even your smoothie is trying to kill you.
  14. Listeria linked to soft cheeses. Brie has become a weapon of mass destruction.
  15. Emerging diseases everywhere. Measles, SARS, MERS, HIV, Lyme, Hantavirus, Dengue, West Nile, Malaria, TB, Ebola, Cholera, Pertussis, Influenza, Pneumococcal, Gonorrhea, and Zika. It’s like Pokémon but the “gotta catch ’em all” is involuntary.
  16. WI-FI causes brain cancer. Oh Lord, not this one. If that were true, half the South would’ve ascended to glory the minute we plugged in the first Walmart router. My ancestors did not survive plagues, droughts, and cousins marrying cousins just for me to be taken out by the same signal that lets me watch cat videos at 2 a.m. And every teenager with an iPhone glued to their skull would be glowing like a microwave burrito. The ancestors are looking down like, “Child that’s not how any of this works.”
  17. He’s a former heroin addict. Nothing says “health leadership” like a résumé that reads like a cautionary tale.

And so, as we stand here in the Deep South. With humidity thick enough to baptize a biscuit. Mosquitoes big enough to file W‑2s. And diseases spreading faster than gossip at a Pentecostal baby shower. We must confront the catastrophic reality of this administration.

Robert Kennedy, Jr. has turned the Department of Health into a haunted Cracker Barrel gift shop. The CDC is now operating out of a storage unit behind a Dollar Tree. The FDA is holding meetings in a Waffle House booth between fights. And the nation’s food safety program is being run by a man who thinks Wi‑Fi is a brain‑melting death ray. And raccoon peeners are collectible scientific artifacts.

This man has staged bear cub bicycle accidents. Decapitated whales for “research.” And gutted disease surveillance so badly that even the pathogens are confused. Cyclospora is out here hosting explosive‑diarrhea raves in salad bowls. Salmonella is moonlighting in guacamole. Listeria is hiding in brie like it’s playing peek‑a‑boo with your intestines. E. coli is chilling in frozen blueberries like it’s on a wellness retreat.

Meanwhile, Robert Kennedy, Jr. is wandering the halls of government wrapped in tin foil. Muttering about brain worms, Wi‑Fi demons, and antidepressants causing school shootings. My ancestors have stopped pacing and started drinking. My cats have filed for emancipation. And somewhere in the distance, a raccoon is whispering, “I didn’t consent to any of this.”

America is being run by a cabinet of swamp goblins who think science is a rumor. And public health is a suggestion. We are one bad decision away from the CDC issuing guidelines like, “If your milk glows, don’t drink it.” “If your salad screams, throw it out.” “If your Wi‑Fi router starts chanting, unplug it and pray.”

This administration is not just incompetent. It’s aggressively committed to the art of being wrong. They are running the country like a cursed potluck where every dish gives you diarrhea. And every beverage is room‑temperature milk.

So here it is the final truth. The last nerve snapping. The mic dropping so hard it cracks the floor. Vote these clowns out before they kill us all. Not in a poetic sense. Not in a metaphorical sense. But in the very real sense that I would like to eat cheese, blueberries, and guacamole again without fearing explosive gastrointestinal fireworks. Charcoal still smoking. Ancestors packing their bags. Cats already gone. America deserves better than a man who thinks Wi‑Fi is a death beam. And raccoon anatomy is a hobby. Thank for reading! Get out and vote! “Which is more concerning? The raccoon situation? Or the fact that none of us are even surprised anymore?”

Affirmation: I release chaos that isn’t mine. Protect my peace. And refuse to fear Wi‑Fi because of swamp goblins.

***Don’t forget to watch the video!***

#ThisPuzzledLife

darnold1975

Apparently Everything Is Communism Now

“When misinformation rises, let your ancestors steady your spirit and your sass sharpen your truth.”

-This Puzzled Life

Light the charcoal. Let it crackle like your last nerve at Thanksgiving when Uncle Red-Hat started yelling about “Socialism Turning Us Into Communists!” Sprinkle the sage. Invoke the ancestors especially Big Mama, who survived segregation, three husbands, and that one church lady who kept stealing her potato salad recipe. Today, we are gather in the sacred, smoky glow of your living room m. To address the aggravation, frustration, and the spiritual constipation caused by folks who insist that socialism → democratic socialism → communism → gulags → the end of biscuits and freedom. The ancestors are already pacing. PawPaw whispered, “Lord give me strength.” And reached for his flask. And your great-aunt is clutching her pearls so hard they might turn into diamonds.

Let’s talk about the red-hat choir who believes any government program that doesn’t involve tax breaks for billionaires is “communism.” These are the same folks who cash Social Security checks. Use Medicare. Drive on publicly funded roads. Send their kids to public schools. And call the fire department when Earl deep-fries a turkey indoors. But the moment someone says, “Hey, maybe people shouldn’t die because they can’t afford insulin,” suddenly it’s, “Communism, Martha! Grab The Bible And The Bug-Out Bag!”

Pumpkin spice patriot, communism is not hiding behind your Kroger pharmacy waiting to jump out and seize your property. The ancestors are tired. Our spirit guides are tired. And even our pets are tired. It is emotionally exhausting watching people scream “Communism” at things that are literally not communism. It’s like watching someone confidently shout the wrong answers on Jeopardy. Or watching a toddler insist the moon is a cookie. Or watching your cat try to fight its own reflection. You want to help. You want to explain. But you also want to lay face-down on the floor and let the ancestors take you home.

Here’s the truth. Democratic socialism is not communism. Not historically. Not economically. Not ideologically. Not spiritually. Not even in the same group chat. Democratic socialism says, “Let’s keep democracy, elections, private businesses, and capitalism. But also make sure people don’t die because they can’t afford healthcare.” Communism says, “Let’s abolish private property. Centralize production. And run everything through the state.” These ideologies would not sit together at Thanksgiving. They wouldn’t even sit together at the DMV. Try telling that to someone who thinks “Karl Marx” is the name of a NASCAR driver.

11 Ways Socialism, Democratic Socialism, and Communism Are Not the Same Thing

1. Private property exists in socialism & democratic socialism. Not in communism. Your house? Yours. Your business? Yours. Your lawnmower? Still yours. Communism says, “The lawnmower belongs to the people.”

2. Democratic socialism requires elections. Communism does not. If you can vote for someone other than the ruling party, congratulations. That is not communism.

3. Socialism & democratic socialism use mixed economies. Communism uses central planning. One is capitalism with guardrails. The other is “the government decides how many shoes get made this year.”

4. Democratic socialism protects civil liberties. Communism historically restricts them. If you can complain about the government on Facebook without disappearing, that’s not communism.

5. Socialism & democratic socialism allow private businesses. Communism does not. Under socialism/democratic socialism, you can open a bakery. Under communism, the state owns the bakery, the flour, the ovens, and possibly the cats.

6. Democratic socialism focuses on social welfare. Communism focuses on class abolition. One says, “Let’s help people.” The other says, “Let’s restructure society from scratch.”

7. Socialism & democratic socialism keep markets. Communism eliminates them. If you can choose between Target and Walmart, you’re not in communism.

8. Democratic socialism works with capitalism. Communism replaces it. One is “Let’s fix the leaky roof.” The other is “Let’s burn the house down and rebuild it.”

9. Socialism & democratic socialism allow wealth differences. Communism seeks to eliminate them. Jeff Bezos still exists under socialism. Under communism, Jeff becomes “Citizen Jeff, warehouse worker.”

10. Democratic socialism preserves individual rights. Communism prioritizes collective control. One says, “You have rights.” The other says, “We’ll let you know what your rights are after the meeting.”

11. Socialism & democratic socialism operate within democratic frameworks. Communism does not. One keeps elections, courts, and civil liberties. The other historically centralizes power in the state.

So, the next time someone looks you dead in the eye usually while wearing a shirt with an eagle, a flag, and a Bible all photoshopped together and says, “Socialism leads to communism!” I want you to pause. Take a breath. Let the sage smoke swirl around your head like you’re summoning every ancestor who ever had to explain something obvious to someone determined to misunderstand it. Then smile. Not a regular smile. A Southern smile. The kind that says, “Bless your heart,” without ever using the words. And respond, gently but firmly by saying, “If socialism leads to communism, then your Social Security check is a gateway drug.”Watch their face do that little twitch. You know the one. The twitch that means their brain is trying to reboot like an old Dell computer from 1998.

Then continue. Because this is your moment. “If democratic socialism leads to communism, then your Medicare card is a communist passport. Your public school is a Marxist training camp. And the fire department that saved Earl’s house when he deep-fried that turkey indoors? That’s a taxpayer-funded socialist miracle.”

Let it sink in. Let the silence marinate like chicken in buttermilk. Because you are not arguing with facts. You are arguing with feelings dressed up as fear. Sprinkled with misinformation. Wrapped in Facebook memes. And deep-fried in cable news. 

And you have survived far worse. You have survived humidity so thick it feels like soup. You have survived hurricanes, power outages, and men who say, “I’ll fix it later.” You have survived PTA meetings, school fundraisers, and children who wait until 10 PM to tell you they need poster board for a project due tomorrow. You can survive this conversation.

So, walk away. Let the charcoal crackle behind you like applause. Let the ancestors cackle like they’re watching a soap opera. Let your spirit guides fan you with palm leaves and whisper, “You did good, baby.” Because trying to have a conversation with people who are willfully ignorant, are usually the very ones who ate boogers and glue during their childhood. And never outgrew those behaviors.

Because we, at This Puzzled Life, are armed with humor, truth, and the kind of ancestral backup that could move mountains. And when misinformation rises, you rise higher. Mic dropped. Mic shattered. Mic reincarnated as a wiser mic. Thanks for reading! What other political nonsense would you like for me to address?

Affirmation: I speak truth with humor, courage, and ancestral backup. I am unshaken. Unbothered. And fully hydrated.

***Don’t forget to watch the video!***

#ThisPuzzledLife

darnold1975

Why My Boundaries Offend People Who Benefited From My Lack of Them

“When you stop people‑pleasing, you don’t become unkind. You become un-owned.”

-This Puzzled Life

Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Today we’re not just cleansing the air. We’re cleansing the generational rot that tried to bury us alive. While I also smile sweetly and was asked if I wanted more casserole.

There’s a special kind of exhaustion that comes from being raised in a culture where your worth is measured by how small you can make yourself. Where “good manners” means “don’t make anyone uncomfortable.” Even if you’re bleeding out emotionally. Where “respect” means “don’t you dare speak the truth out loud.” And the South? The South will hand you a monogrammed apron, a church bulletin, and a generational trauma starter pack before you can even walk. But today we’re unpacking all of it.

Let’s talk about people‑pleasing. Not the cute kind where you bring someone banana pudding because you love them. But the dangerous kind. The kind that rewires your nervous system. The kind that teaches you to abandon yourself so thoroughly that you forget you ever had needs in the first place.

People‑pleasing is not a personality trait. It’s a survival skill. A trauma response. A generational inheritance wrapped in a bow of “be sweet” and “don’t cause trouble.” And in the South, it’s practically a rite of passage.

We’re taught early don’t speak up. Don’t contradict. Don’t embarrass the family. Don’t make waves. Don’t question authority. Don’t tell the truth if the truth makes anyone uncomfortable. Don’t you dare put yourself first. That’s selfish. And for the love of all things holy, don’t let the church ladies hear you say “no.”

People‑pleasing becomes the currency of acceptance. The ticket to belonging. The price of being considered “good.” But here’s the sinister part. People‑pleasing trains you to betray yourself before anyone else even gets the chance. You learn to anticipate everyone’s needs but your own. You learn to apologize for existing. You learn to smile through pain so convincingly that even you forget you’re hurting. You learn to make yourself small enough to fit inside other people’s expectations. And the world, especially the Southern world, rewards you for it. Until you stop.

The moment you stop people‑pleasing. The moment you say “no,” or “that’s not okay,” or “I’m not doing that anymore.” The moment you choose yourself? Suddenly you’re the villain in a story you didn’t write. Suddenly you’re “difficult.” Suddenly you’re “ungrateful.” Suddenly you’re “too sensitive,” “too outspoken,” “too much,” “too emotional,” “too opinionated,” “too educated,” “too aware,” and “too alive.” But the truth is simple. You’re not too much. You’re just finally enough for yourself. And that terrifies people who benefited from your silence.

People‑pleasing is dangerous because it teaches you that your safety depends on your compliance. It teaches you that love must be earned through self‑abandonment. It teaches you that your needs are negotiable. But everyone else’s are sacred. When you grow up in a culture that worships politeness more than honesty. Appearances more than integrity. And reputation more than reality. You learn to disappear. Until one day, you don’t.

And here’s where it gets personal. This isn’t theory for me. This isn’t something I read in a book or heard in a podcast. This is lived experience that was carved into my bones. Stitched into my history. And dragged behind me for decades like a cross I never volunteered to carry.

On a personal note, my family marinated me in people‑pleasing my entire life. And when you don’t comply? You get labeled the troublemaker. The problem. The one who “changed.” The one who “thinks she’s better.” The one who “needs to calm down.” The one who “makes everything difficult.” But not teaching me boundaries while simultaneously demanding I people‑please was dangerous. Not inconvenient. Not uncomfortable. Dangerous.

I have almost died multiple times because I gave more of myself than I had to give. I was trained to prioritize everyone else’s happiness over my own survival. I was taught that my needs were optional. But their approval was oxygen. And in the South, it’s a shameful way of life to even question this dynamic.

I had to come to a point, not helped by their expectations, where I finally put myself first. And now that I have strong boundaries, my family and the community think I’m “nasty” because I tell them I don’t need their validation. They want me to “cow tow” to their needs while never expecting the same from them. And that, my friends, is the pinnacle of hypocrisy and controlling behavior. And at this point in my life, I can say with confidence that I’ll never allow myself to be controlled by someone else ever again.

Let me make this plain in a way even the most selectively‑forgetful, Bible‑thumping, reputation‑worshipping, boundary‑hating folks can understand. I am no longer available for my own destruction. I am no longer the family sponge soaking up everyone else’s dysfunction. I am no longer the emotional punching bag for people who refuse to face their own shadows. I am no longer the scapegoat for sins I didn’t commit. I am no longer the child who learned to survive by disappearing. I am no longer the adult who thought love meant self‑sacrifice. I am no longer the woman who begged for crumbs of acceptance from people who never learned how to love without conditions. I am done.

I’m done with the gaslighting. Done with the hypocrisy. Done with the “good Christian” performances. Done with the selective morality. done with the selective compassion. Done with the silence that protects abusers. Done with the shame that was never mine to carry. Done with the generational curses disguised as tradition. And done with the expectation that I should shrink so others can feel tall.

I am not here to make anyone comfortable. I am not here to uphold anyone’s illusion. I am not here to play the role they assigned me. I am not here to be palatable, agreeable, or quiet. I am here to live. Fully. Boldly. Truthfully. Unapologetically. And if my boundaries offend you? If my healing threatens you? If my voice rattles your cage? If my truth exposes your lies? That’s not my burden. That’s your mirror.

So let me end this with the clarity of a woman who has crawled out of the grave they dug for me. I didn’t lose my family. I lost my captors. I didn’t lose my community. I lost my chains. I didn’t lose my identity. I reclaimed it. And I will never, ever, ever hand it back. Lights out. Thanks for reading! To thine own self be true. What are your experiences with this?

Affirmation: My boundaries are sacred. My truth is valid. My life belongs to me now fully and forever.

***Don’t forget to watch the video!***

#ThisPuzzledLife

darnold1975

Quit Buying Your Kids Fake Vape Carts!!!

“Real happiness is cheap enough, yet how dearly we pay for its counterfeit.”

-Hosea Ballou

Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. Today, I want to talk to you about the dangers of fake cannabis vape carts. Most people do not know how to spot the differences. Many parents give their kids money or go personally and buy these vapes. This can be a very costly and even deadly mistake. Even though it is widely accepted for vaping, not all vapes are regulated for safety.

What are fake vapes? They are unregulated, counterfeit products that pose very serious health risks due to unknown and harmful ingredients. They lack safety testing and can contain dangerous chemicals, heavy metals, or inaccurately labeled substances. There is very little, if any, quality control, and safety taken when creating these products (https://southbeachsmoke.com, 2025).

Here are just some of the chemicals and other cutting agents that are used to produce versus legitimate and controlled vapes.

·        Vitamin E acetate: A thickening agent found in illicit THC cartridges strongly linked to  2019 EVALI outbreak which caused lung injuries associated with vaping. Thousands were hospitalized and dozens died.

·        Pesticides: Lab tests on black market vapes have revealed pesticide levels of a thousand times higher than legal limits.

·        Synthetic cannabinoids: Fake THC vapes contain unpredictable synthetic cannabinoids (like K2 or Spice) which have been linked to anxiety, paranoia, seizures, and psychosis.

·        Fentanyl and other drugs: Vapes purchased from illicit sources have sometimes been found laced with lethal opioids like fentanyl which can lead to overdose and death.

·        Formaldehyde: Some fake vapes have be found to contain levels of carcinogenic chemicals like formaldehyde and acetaldehyde which are found in cigarette smoke.

·        Industrial solvents: Other harmful cutting agents like medium-chain triglycerides (MCT) oil and propylene glycol, can become toxic when inhaled.

·        Toxic leaching: heating elements and coils of these devices can leach heavy metal like lead, nickel, and antimony into the vape liquid.

·        Severe health effects: Inhaling heavy metals can cause neurological damage, respiratory issues, organ failure, and increase cancer risk (https://springboardcenter.org, 2025).

·        Lack of Regulation: Fake vapes bypass regulatory checks (https://www.haypp.com, 2025).

How to spot a fake vape

·        Poor packaging: Examine the box for blurry printing, misspelled words, inconsistent logos, or a lack of safety seals.

·        Missing authentication: Check for a QR code, batch number, or serial number on the package. Reputable brands offer a way to verify product’s authenticity.

·        “Too good to be true” price: If a vape is priced significantly cheaper than retailers, it’s likely a counterfeit.

·        Unlicensed seller: Only buy from trusted, licensed dispensaries or reputable retailers. Avoid street vendors “plugs” or unverified online sources.

·        Odd performance or smell: If the vapor tastes burnt, metallic, or chemically unusual, stop using immediately.

·        Suspicious liquid: High-quality vape is typically thick and golden or amber. If the liquid is thin, runny, or unnaturally colored, it could be fake (https://vaping360.com, 2024).

These are products that have been widely accepted among teens and adults. Whenever possible, please by your products from a reputable dispensary versus a smoke or vape shop which are only in the business for money rather than safety. Too many people have been seriously injured or died from fake vapes. Thanks for reading and please make educated decisions about these products.

Affirmation: I prioritize my health and safety  by choosing products from reputable sources.

***Don’t forget to watch the video!***

#Thispuzzledlife

darnold1975

Types of Domestic Violence

“If you aren’t silent about your pain, they’ll kill you and say you enjoyed it.”

-Zora Neale Hurston

Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. Today, I want to talk to you about some of the behaviors that fit under the umbrella of domestic violence. It wasn’t until I  was out of the relationship for a while before I began to see  information validating  what I always knew. This is not comprehensive list by any means. 

COERCIVE CONTROL OR CONTROLLING BEHAVIOR

·        Control who a person sees, wears and where they go. 

v  This was considered normal in my relationship. He dictated everything that I wore. If I chose what I wanted to wear, he would tell me to,  “go change. You look ridiculous.” And I was afraid to go somewhere without asking his permission.

·        Monitor or track what a person does. 

v  This was also something that was done on a daily  basis. He would call me wherever I was supposed to be and verify it by employees.

·        Control a person’s finances, medicine, food, or exercise.

v  He always told me that I was not allowed food that he didn’t approve. And I was required to be at the gym at 5:30 am every morning. And he would call and speak with those employees about what type of exercise I was doing. I was also not allowed to spend any money without permission.

·        Force someone to have sex or do sexual things.

v  I was never given the option to make that choice. I was threatened if I even spoke about that.

PHYSICAL VIOLENCE

·        Hitting, punching, kicking, bashing, shoving, or pushing.

This happened more times than I can count. He did kick me in the face. But when he and his brother teamed up together, it was worse. The main reason is because my husband didn’t want to say that he participated. And because they always threatened and intimidated me into silence, I never said anything. His brother was his “yes man.” And my husband pulled the strings.

·        Spitting on someone or pulling hair.

·        Choking or suffocating.

v  This typically happened during forced sex. Or whenever his brother would get mad at me, he would choke me as a form of intimidation.

·        Throwing things at or near someone.

·        Using a weapon.

v  This was always pointed at me or laid out somewhere as a form of threats and intimidation.

·        Locking someone in or out of space.

v  This was often done to show control.

·        Stopping someone from eating, sleeping, or having medication they need.

v  Every piece of food had to be given an account. One of his favorite things he would allow me to have for a snack was ten olives and ten pistachios. He would come home from work and completely berate me if I weren’t already up. And it didn’t matter that I had just worked a 24-48 shift. He always told me that medication was a crutch. He got mad because I had been given muscle relaxers for a hurt back and proceeded to kick me in the face and throw my medication out into the rain. I was also not allowed to take any psychiatric meds for depression or mood stabilization because, “why do you need anti-depressants when I’m so good to you? And what if someone finds out that you’re taking this? I don’t want anyone knowing that my wife is crazy. Then it makes me look bad. Why don’t you care about that?”

·        Forcing someone to drink or take drugs.

v  I did this on my own to help deal with being under his crazy world of control.

SEXUAL VIOLENCE

·       Touching or kissing someone without their consent.

v I was made to accept his advances. 

·       Pressuring or forcing someone to have sex or do something sexual without their consent.

v  I was told, “Either you give it to me, or I’ll take it. Either way, I’m getting what I want. Make your decision.” Many times, I was bruised or bleeding by the time he was done with me. I had no voice in any matter. He was the “warden,” and I was his “prisoner.” My whole sexual relationship with him was simply RAPE.

·       Pressuring or forcing someone to have sex without protection such as a condom.

v I was told early on, “I’m not using protection because it burns my dick. If you really loved me, you wouldn’t  put stipulations on how I fuck you.”

*I know this is explicit. However, I want you to get an accurate description of the situation.*

IMAGE-BASED ABUSE

·        Sharing private images of a person without their consent, for example images of them undressing or showering.

·        Sharing culturally inappropriate images of a person, for example images in which they do not wear items of clothing that they would normally wear in public.

·        Sharing intimate or sexualized images of a person without their consent.

·        Producing and sharing images that have been digitally altered to suggest a person is nude or engaged in sexual activity.

·        Threatening to do any of these things.

        *I found out later on that his brother would secretly be filming or watching us having sex.*

EMOTIONAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSE

·        Criticizing a person and their choices or actions.

v  In his mind, he thought that I was too stupid to make decisions that were considered “correct.” All he ever told me what how stupid and retarded I was.

·        Isolating a person form their friends or their family.

v  Some friendships I lost forever because they just thought that I abandoned them. What they failed to see was that I would get accused of all kinds of stuff if I disobeyed him. Those who have never been in an abusive situation can’t comprehend losing your power to stand up for yourself. It was just easier to do what he said. Some former friends haven’t even talked to me since that time. And that is about them not me.

·        Threatening to harm a person, their family, their friends, their pets, or their belongings.

v  He always made threats about things he would and could do with keepsakes or my innocent animals. And if he and his brother didn’t feel that I was getting the picture, they would show up at my parents’ house and start harassing them.

·        Threating them to share personal or private information, such as sexuality, gender identity, personal health, or visa status (https://www.act.gov.au/community/domestic-family-and-sexual-violence/types-of-domestic-and-family-violence, 2025).

This topic will be spread over a few blogs. As you can see, when I add personal experience, the blog gets much longer. Stay patient and learn from this. It’s a hell that most people can’t understand. And I’m telling you that it’s all true. I was living in a prison without visible bars. Thanks for reading! And watch for the second part in the coming days.

Affirmation: I remember that it is ok to ask for help and receive support.

***Don’t forget to watch the video!***

#Thispuzzledlife

darnold1975

National Domestic Violence Awareness Month

“Never stop fighting for your freedom, you are worth it.”

-DA Survivor-Anon

Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negativity energy, go away. Today is the beginning of Domestic Violence Awareness Month. This month is when our voices from all over the globe will be heard. We as victims, survivors and warriors bring to light the horrors of domestic violence and the impact that it leaves on our lives and those around us. Let’s take time out for a little education on a few of the topics surrounding domestic violence.

Domestic Violence is a topic that I know a lot about. Well, I know how to function in it. And I know how to get away from it. But living with the aftereffects reveal a whole other set of problems. Where domestic violence used to be seen as something that only happens to women and their partners. There is more awareness on the abuse of men by their partners. No matter how you identify. It also happens to the most innocent, children and pets. This happens in all forms of relationships. And the statistics are staggering.

Domestic violence is violence committed by someone in the victim’s domestic circle. Which include partners and ex-partners, immediate family members, and other relatives and family friends (https://www.UN.org, 2025). The behaviors can include such things as:

·        Physical

·        Sexual

·        Emotional

·        Financial

·        Psychological actions or threats of actions that influence another person.

This includes any behavior that intimidate, manipulate, humiliate, isolate, frighten, terrorize, coerce, threaten, blame, hurt, injure, or wound someone. The repetitive exposure to violence teaches children that violence is a normal way of life (https://dvcc.delaware.gov, 2025). And for those of us who leave, constant confusion and every minute of no knowing when something else will happen again, is our normal. And the many years of programming by our abusers takes years of therapy to de-program ourselves. But you will never be who you used to be.

Recovery is not for the faint of heart. It is hard and uncomfortable. And it takes years to undo the damage that was caused on so many levels. I was one of the lucky ones. Long story short, I survived. But the mental damage that was caused has left me crippled in some ways. And through the sleepless nights filled with tears, therapy, psychiatric medications, body memories, flashbacks, phobias, and panic attacks, I have learned that I have a voice that deserves to be heard. And no matter what people say or believe, I can validate my own story regardless of the opinions of others. Because I lived it. 

The main thing I want to say to other women and men across the globe who are still in their own processes, “YOU ARE NOT ALONE!” Because it happened to me too. Thanks for reading! Keep smiling and pushing forward.

Affirmation: My light shines even in the dark.

***Don’t forget to watch the video!***

#Thispuzzledlife

darnold1975

SUICDE AWARENESS AND PREVENTION GROUPS PART 2

“I had gotten to the point where I was suicidal every day for six straight years…On that day, I made a choice. The choice to live, the choice to get better for me.”

-Justin

Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy, go away. Today, I want to tell you about a couple more suicide awareness and prevention groups. I wish I could cover them all. Unfortunately, there are just way too many. Please familiarize yourself and those you love and are affected.

Stop Soldier Suicide 

This is the only national nonprofit focused on solving the issue of suicide among U.S. veterans and service members. They have an aggressive goal of reducing the suicide rate by 40% by 2030. Veterans are at a 58% higher risk of suicide than those who haven’t served.

Other statistics about veteran suicide:

·       6,407 veteran suicides in 2022.

·       22 consecutive years with 6000+ veteran suicides.

·       140K+ veterans have died by suicide since 2001.

·       Second leading cause of death in veterans under age 45.

·       The rate of veteran firearm suicide has increased by 65%.

·       The suicide rate among veterans ages 18-34 has more than doubled.

·       Western states have experienced the greatest increase in veteran suicide rate, increasing by 55%.

·       31% Depending on branch, up to 31% of service members develop PTSD after returning from combat.

·       7x the rated of suicide for veterans in the LGBTQ+ community is up 7x higher that for non-LGBTQ+ veterans.

The organization’s impact on veteran suicide.

·       90%+ of our most at-risk clients completed a crisis response plan in 2023, giving them tools and resources to cope in moments of crisis.

·       73% of clients experienced a decrease in thoughts of suicide over the course of treatment.

·       92% of clients who were meaningfully engaged in our care showed some improvement in mental wellbeing by the end of treatment (www.stopsoldiersuicide.org, 2025).

The Trevor Project

The Trevor Project was founded in August 1998 by the creators, James Lecesne, Peggy Rajski, and Randy Stone, of the Academy Award-winning short film “Trevor.” The film was about a gay teen who attempted suicide. The filmmakers then established a crisis hotline for LGBTQ+ youth after realizing that there was not a resource available. They have since expanded services to include text and chat support and resources for parents, schools and others seeking support for LGBTQ+ support (https://obamawhitehouse.archives.gov, 2025).

Crisis Services: Providing counseling support services for LGBTQ+ young people 24/7 all year around.

Peer Support: Providing  an affirming international community for LGBTQ+ youth.

Advocacy: Working to change hearts, minds, and laws in support of LGBTQ+ lives.

Research: We conduct research studies to equip policymakers and other LGBTQ+ youth providing professionals.

The Mission

To end suicide among LGBTQ+ youth by providing crisis support, suicide prevention resources, and educational programs (www.thetrevorproject.org, 2025).

Thanks again for reading. The more education and resources we can provide each other with, the better the outcomes for us all. Please pass this information along to anyone who could benefit. I am one of those who suicide has affected my life in epic proportions. I am also one who continues to fight for understanding and compassion in a world that is lacking.

Affirmation: I am not alone, and others care about me.

***Don’t forget to watch the video!***

#Thispuzzledlife

darnold1975

Beware Of Deadly 7-0H Products

“It is dangerous, misleading, and illegal” and a “massive fraud on consumers that puts their safety directly at risk.”

–American Kratom Association

 Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. Today, I want to talk to you about the deadly synthetic opioid products known as 7-OH (gas station heroin). You might think that these products are safe. But there is only one descriptive term for them…..DANGEROUS.

Let me break down the problems associated with these products. The product is so dangerous that the FDA  is specifically targeting the 7-OH products a concentrated byproduct of the kratom plant. They are not focused on the natural kratom leaf products. These products have a high potential for abuse because they bind to opioid receptors. They are not FDA-approved 7-OH opioid products. FDA Commissioner Marty Makary, M.D., M.P.H. is quoted saying, “7-OH is an opioid that can be more potent than morphine” (https://www.fda.gov, 2025).

What is 7-OH? –hydroymitragynine is a powerful opioid-like compound found in the leaves of the kratom plant. While this compound is naturally in trace amounts because manufacturers have begun to concentrate or synthesize it into highly potent and addictive products. They are sold at gas stations, vape shops and smoke shops. At this time, anyone of any age can purchase these products. And they are appealing to kids and teens because they are also made into edibles.

“It’s a recipe for a public health disaster.”

-Jim O’Neill, U.S. Department of

 Health and Human Services

·        Significantly stronger than morphine:Some synthetic products are reportedly 13 to 40 times more potent than morphine.

·        Intense opioid effects: these include pain relief, euphoria, and sedation.

·        High risk of dependence and addiction:Regular use can quickly lead to physical and psychological dependence with severe withdrawal symptoms when use is stopped.

·        Serious adverse effects: There have been a notable rise in emergency room visits with symptoms that include nausea, agitation, rapid heart rate, high blood pressure, seizures  and respiratory depression that can be fatal.

Difference between natural and concentrated 7-OH

·       Natural kratom: in the natural form as a plant leaf, kratom contains only a small amount of 7-OH (less than 2%). It is often used for its mild stimulant or opioid-like effects, but the risk profile is significantly different from highly concentrated products.

·       Concentrated/Synthetic 7-OH: lab created product where the 7-OH has been concentrated to a higher potency reaching 98%. These unregulated products are sold in forms like gummies, drinks, and tablets ((https://www.dshs.texas.gov, 2025).

I cannot express enough the dangerousness of these products. I, for one, fell in love with heroin and pills many years ago. And what a difficult process it has been to break free from those substances. Because “One is too many. And a thousand is never enough.” That’s how addiction works. Parents if you think that this is all a bunch of hoopla for nothing, you are dead wrong. This product scares me like most can’t. We have enough of an “opiate crisis” without introducing more into the family line. Educate yourself and your children. It just might save lives. Thanks for reading!

Affirmation: I have the ability to make a different choice.

***Don’t forget to watch the video!***

#Thispuzzledlife

darnold1975

What Are The Streets Saying? Inhalants

“The National Institute on Drug Abuse states, “The brain of a chronic toluene abuser is smaller compared to someone with no history of inhalant abuse.”

-Neil Rosenberg, M.D., NIDA Research Report

Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negativity energy, go away. Today, I want to discuss something that many teenagers experiment with, inhalants. Abusing inhalants isn’t a new thing. As it was very popular 35 years ago. And when you’re a kid without access to money, getting “high” is just a short walk away to the family utility shed. I’ll give you some facts. And then I’ll tell my story.

First, let me describe what “huffing” is even though it’s self-explanatory. Huffing is the act of inhaling chemical vapors from common household products to get high. And it’s a dangerous form of substance abuse. Even though it might seem less risky, huffing can be even more dangerous with potentially severe and fatal consequences (https://evokewellnessoh.com, 2024).

The primary chemical in many dusters is HFC-134a, which act as propellant and refrigerant. Inhaling duster fumes can be dangerous. It can lead to serious side effects such as liver problems, breathing problems and death. Duster and other inhalants aren’t considered control substances and can be bought most anywhere.

Air dusters also contain other ingredients such as:

·        Difluoroethane can cause heart issues and loss of consciousness.

·        Nitrous Oxide can cause dizziness, vomiting and nausea.

·        Alkyl Nitrites can cause increased heart rate or vomiting.

·        Butane can affect the heart leading to sudden death.

·        Propane which can cause convulsions and loss of consciousness.

Other possible side effects are:

·        heart irregularities

·        unconsciousness

·        irritation of the nose, throat, and lungs

·        coughing

·        difficulty breathing

·        shortness of breath

·        irregular pulse

·        palpitations

·        inadequate circulation

·        abnormal kidney function

·        frostbite of the nasal cavity

·        breakdown of muscle tissue

·        liver damage

·        suffocation due to displacement of air inside the lungs

·        coma

·        convulsions

·        brain or nerve damage

·        bone marrow damage

·        choking on vomit after using an inhalant

·        sudden sniffing death, which is when a person dies suddenly after breathing in an inhalant due to cardiac arrest (https://medicalnewstoday.com, 2025).

Over a fifteen-year period, teens in the US abused more than 3,400 products through inhalation. The age range was from 6 to over 50 years old. Teen boys accounted for 73.5% of cases. Of those with known outcomes from emergency room visits, 208 died and more than 1,000 experienced life-threatening or permanent disabilities (www.poison.org, 2025).

·        More than 22.98 million Americans have abused inhalants at least once in their lifetime.

·        And over the past two decades, less than 1% of individuals aged 12 and older report past year use in 2023. 

·        Inhalants are typically used by younger adolescents, with 4% 8th graders having used in the last year. The peak age is 14 years old.

·        Inhalant abuse is less common in adults but does occur, especially among those with access to chemicals (https://www2.courtinfor.ca.gov, 2025).

·        Only 25% of inhalant abusers tested in emergency rooms had no effects. Most had serious effects or died (www.poison.org, 2025).

Toluene is a chemical found in common products including nail polish, paint thinners, adhesives. It is also used to aid in the production of benzene, other chemicals, pharmaceuticals, and dyes. Toluene can also be found in printing inks, varnishes, lacquers, and some types of glues (www.OSHA.gov, 2025).

Another product that is popular among teens, which can be bought at any “head shop” is “whip-its.” It is nitrous oxide which cuts off oxygen to the brain, creating a euphoric high that lowers mental and physical pain. And it is used to make whipped cream. Using nitrous for recreational purposes is illegal. And you can be fined or jailed for violating inhalant laws (www.webmd.com, 2025). Lock me up!

I’ll be the first to admit that “huffing” was always one of my favorite ways to get “high.” Second, only to pills. It began when I started sniffing White Out. I would cover the page with it and then roll it up and start sniffing the fumes. Same thing went for gasoline. I would put a little on a rag when I filled up with gas. And then held it to my nose and inhaled deeply. All while I was driving. I know. Safety scores are totally negative. And for many years I would quit. Always heavily involved in other types of addictions.

Once the stress of my life engulfed me while I was in undergraduate and beginning graduate school, I would start huffing again. And I found my “main squeeze” in computer duster. Mainly, because it was much cheaper than other things. I was in therapy at the time. And the stress of life and the ever-hovering PTSD symptoms had me huffing every chance I got, especially after therapy. And one day I had left therapy, grabbed my can of duster from underneath the seat and started huffing as fast as I could to get the “incorrect” EMDR effects out of my brain. And when the chemicals hit, they hit hard. Suddenly, I couldn’t figure out how to work my steering wheel. I ran up on the curb and over corrected and spun across four lanes of traffic. Luckily, there were no cars coming. I sit for a second and realized that everything was ok. Still much higher than I should’ve been to drive, I cranked my Honda CRV and headed in the direction of a potential future employer. But during my stupor I forgot to look for vehicles coming from the right as I was about to make a left turn. And the next thing I remember is hearing the horrible sound of glass breaking and a loud boom. My luck had just run out. I had inadvertently pulled out into the back wheels of an eighteen-wheeler. And for a split second I thought, “Wow! This is it. Jesus, I’m on the way!” The next thing I remember is feeling intense pain but unsure where. An ambulance picked me up from the scene. What I didn’t realize at the time was that the eighteen-wheeler had gone over the top of the cab and crashed it in. Nevertheless, I was terrified that I would be getting a DUI. But there was no way to test for an aerosol. So, I vowed to keep my mouth shut. They did do a toxicology test, but an aerosol is from the lungs not the blood. And I would live with battle wounds. I vowed to never touch that stuff again. But I would always carry that little behavior not as a first choice. But still a choice I would always have for private viewing. I thought that I was finally scared of addiction and the dark forces that surround it.

After many of doing without it while engaging in self-harm, illicit drugs, and alcohol, I would begin again while living in Texas for a couple of years. But this time, it was spray paint. They both get you “high,” however, duster can give you a very panicky “high.” If it do it too much, it becomes downright scary. To this day, I still deal with huffing. I know that it’s typically done in teenage years. But that’s when one of my biggest traumas occur day after day. And in many ways, I am still that same rebellious and very hurt teen.

If you know of someone who is “huffing,” help them stop NOW! Because years later they will look up and realize they’re an adult who’s still “huffing,” if not dead. It might seem harmless, but it’s not. I hope some of this educational material will bring more attention to a very common problem with inhalants. Thanks for reading! Take what you can use and leave the rest.

Affirmation: You are not your mistakes

***Don’t forget to watch the video!***

#Thispuzzledlife