This Puzzled Life is a mental health and recovery blog exploring addiction, trauma healing, LGBTQ experiences, humor, and the strange moments that shape us.
“Weed is the friend that doesn’t mind if you cancel plans.”
-Unknown
Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. Today, I want to tell you about a cannabis strain called Apples and Bananas. Nothing says spring time and fresh fruit like this strain.
Apples and Bananas is an indica-dominant balanced hybrid that is a four-way cross between Platinum Cookies x Grandaddy Purple x Blue Power x Gelati. Platinum Cookies is a cross between OG Kush x Durban Poison. Grandaddy Purple is a cross between Purple Urkle x Big Bud. Blue Power is a cross between Sour Double x Master Kush x The White x Blue Moonshine. Gelati is a cross between Gelato x Biscotti. This strain is simply sweet and fruity.
The top terpenes in this strain are Myrcene, Limonene, and Caryophyllene. Other combinations of this strain also have Linalool in them. Patients report relief from conditions such as anxiety, depression, stress, insomnia, appetite loss, nausea, muscle spasms, cramps, PTSD and pain. The effects for me seem indica dominant. However, try it for yourself and watch the stress melt away. Thanks for reading! Keep blazin.’
“I don’t smoke weed to escape reality. I smoke it to make reality funnier.”
-Unknown
Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. Today, I want to talk to you about one of th3 stinkiest strains that I’ve come across. And its name is Mule Fuel.
Mule Fuel is a 90/10 very heavy indica hybrid. This strain is a cross between Lurch x GMO (GMO Cookies). Lurch is a cross between Grape Ape x Ghost OG. GMO is a cross between GSC (Girl Scout Cookies) x Chemdawg. This strain has the aroma and taste of both diesel and skunk. And if you know anything about the GMO strain, you know that it stands for Garlic, Mushrooms and Onions. And that, my friend is not a strain that would be easily smoked in public in an attempt to be indiscriminate. It will stink up anything around you.
The major terpenes with this strain are Terpinolene, Myrcene and Caryophyllene. The medical benefits with this strain provide relief from conditions such as chronic stress, anxiety, insomnia, nightmares, chronic pain, and depression. And I can attest to the potency and relief that I get from this strain. Accompanying the smell and aroma are some hard-core munchies and the dreaded “couch lock.”
This strain is one where you need to be prepared to take a nice cannabis nap. I would not suggest this strain for an amateur smoker. This is a strain with very heavy effects. Use it sparingly as a little goes a long way. Thanks for reading! Keep blazin.’
Light the citronella candle, put on your yard shoes, and tell Piper to stop pawing at the screen door like she’s ready to fight wildlife. Today’s Budtender Moment is a full‑on Deep South summer survival guide disguised as a strain review. We’re talking Viper Crumble, the strain that strikes quick, coils around your stress, and drags it off into the woods like a reptile with a mission. Tap the bowl three times. Check the porch for snakes. Whisper, “Not today, Satan,” as you spark it.
Viper Crumble is typically a sativa‑leaning hybrid known for its fast onset, bright energy, and “I suddenly feel like cleaning the pantry” motivation. Genetics vary by grower, but most versions come from Viper × Crumble Cake or similar high‑energy, citrus‑forward hybrids. Viper is a cross between Burmese Landrace × Blackseed. Crumble Cake is a cross between American Pie × (Jaeger × Skunk Dog) × Wedding Cake.
Viper Crumble doesn’t just hit. It lunges. This is the strain that shows up wearing camo shorts, holding a gas station slushie, and saying, “Sweetheart, it’s too hot to be stressed. Let me handle this.” It’s sharp. It’s sneaky. It’s the emotional venom extractor you didn’t know you needed. And if you’ve lived through a Mississippi July, you already know: When the heat rises, the snakes get bold. So does this strain.
Viper Crumble is typically a sativa‑leaning hybrid. And strains in this category, especially those rich in limonene, pinene, caryophyllene, and myrcene tend to offer a very specific set of reported therapeutic effects. Patients report relief from low energy, stress, mental fog, daytime fatigue, and that “I’m melting and everything irritates me” feeling. It’s a perfect strain for hot days, chores, creativity, or simply sitting on the porch judging the weather. Together, they create a strain that hits fast, lifts quick, and keeps your senses sharp. And it’s perfect for a climate where even the reptiles are clocked in and ready for foolishness.
1. The Strike
It hits fast. It’s like stepping outside and immediately being slapped by humidity. Your brain wakes up. Your mood lifts. You suddenly remember every chore you’ve ignored since Easter.
2. The Slither
Euphoria winds through your chest slowly and smoothly. Thoughts loosen. You feel lighter, brighter, and slightly mischievous. Coco walks by and you swear she’s scouting for snakes like she’s on payroll.
3. The Shed
Your stress peels off like old skin. Your shoulders drop. You feel refreshed, alert, and ready to face the heat index like a seasoned Southerner who knows better than to walk barefoot in the yard.
When the Deep South gets hot, and I mean “air so thick you could butter it” hot, the snakes get active. They sun. They roam. They show up where they do not belong, like under porch steps, in flower beds, in the Dollar General parking lot, and once, famously, inside someone’s dryer vent (we don’t talk about that).
Viper Crumble is the Deep South summer strain for anyone who needs clarity, energy, and a little reptile‑level alertness. It’s bright, fast, and beautifully sharp. And the kind of high that makes you feel like you can handle the heat, the humidity, and whatever slithers across your path. But unlike the real reptiles, this one is here to help. Please keep in mind that each grow will be different and the flower’s effects will differ depending on which region of the country that the plant is grown. Thanks for reading! Keep blazin.
Affirmation: I stay sharp, steady, and unbothered. Even when the heat rises.
“I’m not high, I’m just extremely motivated to sit very still.”
-Unknown
Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. Today, I want to tell you about a strain called Gas Face.
Gas Face is a 70/30 indica-dominant hybrid that is a cross between Face Mints x Biscotti x Sherbet. Face Mints is a cross between Face Off OG x Kush Mints. Biscotti is a cross between Gelato #25 x South Florida OG. Sherbet (Sunset Sherbet) is a cross between Girl Scout Cookies x Pink Panty. The gassiness in the name is very pronounced in the strain. There is an overtone of diesel flavoring.
Top terpenes for this strain are Limonene, Myrcene and Caryophyllene. Patients report relief from stress, chronic pain, insomnia, and anxiety. From the gassy inhale this strain is a good one. That indica part of the genetics will hit hard. And “couchlock” is very possible. And for some bad anxiety, relief will be very quickly headed your way.
Affirmation: I deserve calm moments without explanation.
“Chronic Boom hit me so hard I thought the fireworks started early. But it was just my serotonin returning from war.”
-Darla Jean “Stars‑and‑Sighs” McCoy, Unofficial Firework Safety Officer
Light the grill. Salute the sky. And tell Piper to stop chewing the tiny American flag again. We’re about to drop a full‑on Independence Day Budtender Moment for Chronic Boom. The strain that celebrates freedom by blowing up your stress like a backyard firework that may or may not be legal in Mississippi.Tap the bowl three times. Pledge allegiance to your peace. Whisper “let freedom ring” as you spark it.
Chronic Boom doesn’t just hit. It liberates. This is the strain that shows up wearing red‑white‑and‑blue Crocs, holding a sparkler, and saying, “Sweetheart, we’re overthrowing your anxiety today.” It’s patriotic. It’s chaotic. It’s the emotional emancipation proclamation you didn’t know you needed.
Chronic Boom is typically a balanced hybrid, leaning slightly indica‑dominant depending on the breeder. It’s typically a cross between Chronic x Boom. Chronic is a cross between Northern Lights × Skunk × AK‑47. Boom is a cross between (Blueberry × OG Kush) × (Chemdawg × Skunk). And with all of that in there, there’s no way that this strain could fail. Together, they create a hybrid that feels like Thomas Jefferson wrote a Declaration of Chill.
Top terpenes for this strain are Limonene, Myrcene, Caryophyllene, and Pinene. Patients report relief from stress, low mood, fatigue, mild pain, and that “I’m one inconvenience away from seceding” feeling.It hits in phases that feel suspiciously like a patriotic parade. The Anthem Your brain stands up straight and salutes. You feel alert, lifted, and ready to declare independence from nonsense. The Fireworks Euphoria pops off in your chest like a grand finale. Everything is funny. Even the cat judging you. The Afterglow Warm body melt. Shoulders drop. You whisper, “I am my own country now.”
Chronic Boom is the Independence Day strain for anyone who wants to laugh, relax, and overthrow their inner tyrant. It’s bold, bright, and beautifully chaotic. And just like a Southern July 4th where someone inevitably yells, “Y’all watch this!” Please keep in mind that each grow will be different and the flower’s effects will differ depending on which region of the country that the plant is grown. Thanks for reading! Keep blazin.’
Affirmation: I release what weighs me down and celebrate the freedom to feel good.
“This preroll hit me so hard I forgot what I was mad about and who I was mad at.”
-This Puzzled Life
Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy, go away. Now that the vibes are cleansed and the ancestors have been notified. Because we’re about to talk about the GMO infused preroll. It’s the funky little garlic‑diesel diva that shows up uninvited and still becomes the life of the party.
If you’ve ever wanted a preroll that smells like a garlic knot got into a bar fight with a diesel truck and walked away victorious, this is your moment. GMO doesn’t just relax you. It folds you like warm laundry and whispers, “Sweetheart, sit down before you hurt yourself.”
GMO aka Garlic Cookies is an indica-dominant strain. It is a cross between Girl Scout Cookies × Chemdawg. GSC is the glamorous troublemaker born from Durban Poison x OG Kush Chemdawg is legendary, mysterious, and messy. It’s like a Southern family reunion where nobody agrees on who’s related to who. This is the accepted origin story. Unknown Colorado “Dog bud” × Unknown high‑potency mystery strain (Yes, really. The genetics are famously undocumented, debated, and wrapped in lore.) Chemdawg is the parent of Diesel strains, OG Kush lines, and half the modern cannabis family tree. It’s the funky, fuel‑soaked granddaddy of chaos. You’re basically smoking Durban Poison’s uplift, OG Kush’s heavy relaxation And Chemdawg’s diesel funk and brain‑melting potency. No wonder GMO tastes like garlic sautéed in a mechanic’s garage and hits like a spiritual intervention. With the flavor profile being garlic, earth, diesel, and “this tastes like a delicious felony,” you know it has to be good.
The major terpenes in this strain are Caryophyllene, Myrcene, Limonene, and Humulene. Patients report relief from stress and anxiety, pain reduction, sleep support, and appetite boost (even though humulene tries to fight it like a tiny mall cop). And trust me, you’ll sleep. And COUCH LOCK ALERT!
The GMO infused preroll is for the brave, the tired, and the spiritually overbooked. Light it, breathe deep, and let the garlic‑diesel goddess tuck you into the softest mental blanket you’ve ever known. Please keep in mind that each grow will be different and the flower’s effects will differ depending on which region of the country that the plant is grown. Thanks for reading! Keep blazin.’
Affirmation: “I am calm, I am grounded, and I am absolutely unavailable for nonsense while this GMO settles my spirit.”
“My weed and I have an understanding. It keeps me calm. And I pretend I’m going to be productive.”
-Unknown
Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. If one more person tells me “I support you” while actively voting against my existence, I’m going to roll them up in a joint with Sugar Puss and smoke them like a cautionary tale. This strain doesn’t just hit, it vogues. It enters your bloodstream like it’s walking a ballroom category and immediately wins Best Flavor, Best Vibes, and Best Emotional Support Performance by a Cannabis Product.
Sugar Puss is a balanced hybrid strain that is a cross between Cheetah Piss x Bakers Dozen. Cheetah Piss is a cross between Lemonade × Gelato 42 × London Poundcake 97. It’s the loud, citrusy cousin who shows up to Pride with glitter eyebrows and a fan that says, “NOT TODAY.” Baker’s Dozen is cross between Milk & Cookies × Rainbow Chip. It’s the one known for sweet, creamy dessert notes with a funky citrus edge. It’s the queer auntie who always has snacks, wisdom, and a flask of something that smells like liberation. Together they birthed Sugar Puss, a strain that tastes like sweetness, smells like citrus chaos, and hits like a drag queen yelling “HYDRATE!” from the stage while throwing rhinestones at your trauma. Flavor profile is like when “If a Pride float and a bakery had a baby.”
The top terpenes in this strain are Limonene, Caryophyllene, and Pinene. Patients report relief with conditions such as stress, depression, pain, fatigue and needing to feel like a rainbow‑wrapped version of themselves. So, light the charcoal. Sprinkle the glitter. And tell your inner saboteur to take several seats.
Sugar Puss is not just a strain. It’s a spiritual pep talk in a joint, a citrus‑flavored reminder that your queerness is sacred, your joy is political, and your vibe is protected by the ancestors and a very sassy terpene profile. Smoke it when you need to remember who you are. Smoke it when the world feels heavy. Smoke it when you want to laugh so hard you snort glitter. Because baby, you deserve to feel like the main character at the Pride parade of your own life.
Please keep in mind that each grow will be different and the flower’s effects will differ depending on which region of the country that the plant is grown. Thanks for reading! Keep blazin.’
Affirmation: “I rise in my queerness, I breathe in my peace, and I stay lifted in a joy so loud and unapologetic that even the universe has to adjust its crown.”
“I’m not lazy. I’m energy‑efficient with a cannabis‑powered operating system.
-Unknown
Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. Today, I want to tell you about a strain that’s perfect for Pride Month. And the name is Rainbow Runtz.
Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. Today, we’re talking about Rainbow Runtz, the strain that tastes like candy, smells like peace, and hits like a warm hug from someone who believes in your potential more than you do. This is the weed you pick when you want to feel emotionally moisturized, spiritually aligned, and just high enough to forget why you walked into the kitchen.
Rainbow Runtz comes from two parents who absolutely understood the assignment. Zkittlez is a cross between Grape Ape × Grapefruit × a mysterious third cousin nobody talks about. Do‑Si‑Dos is a cross between Girl Scout Cookies × Face Off OG. Together, they birthed Rainbow Runtz, a strain that tastes like a fruit snack and feels like emotional stability with a side of giggles.
Rainbow Runtz tastes like fruit candy, sweet berries, lavender that went to therapy, a little earthy “I’m still a plant, don’t get it twisted.” It’s dessert. It’s aromatherapy. It’s a mood. The terpene profile for this strain is Limonene, Caryophyllene, and Linalool. This terpene trio is basically the Holy Trinity of “I’m chill now.” Patients report getting relief from stress, anxiety, depression, mild pain, appetite issues, and mood swings. In general, “I need to chill before I say something unprofessional” energy. It’s the emotional support fruit snack of cannabis.
Rainbow Runtz is the strain you grab when you want to feel like a soft, fruity cloud drifting through your responsibilities with grace, humor, and a snack in your hand. It’s sweet, smooth, and it hits like a warm hug from the universe. Please keep in mind that each grow will be different and the flower’s effects will differ depending on which region of the country that the plant is grown. Thanks for reading! Keep blazin.’ Happy Pride!
Affirmation: “I honor my highest self by staying hydrated, staying lifted, and staying out of unnecessary group chats.”
Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. Today, I want to tell you about a strain that has one of the most flavorful profiles that I’ve tried thus far. Standby. Because I have a lot of information to cover. And the people in the Pride community who are in throughly relationships, this one’s for you. The name of the strain is Triple Scoop.
Triple Scoop is a 60/40 indica-dominant hybrid strain. It’s lineage is a three way cross between Super Silver Haze x Grape LA x Sorbet. Super Silver Haze is a 3-way cross between Skunk x Northern Lights x Haze. Talk about grassroots genetics. Grape La is a cross between Grapefruit x LA Confidential. Sorbet strains are a cross of 4 sativa strains that are Mexican, Colombian, Thai, and South Indian strains that are not identified. There is also another version that has more of the indica effects are a cross between Gelato #33 x 2 Scoops. From the rip you get the strong taste of fruit. The actual flavor profile is a sweet and creamy vanilla combined with fresh berries and citrus fruit. But I felt like I was full face down in a fruit bowl.
The top terpenes are B-Myrcene, B-Caryophyllene, and Linalool. Patients report relief from stress, anxiety, depression, minor aches and pains, inflammation, nausea, appetite loss, fatigue, and mood swings. The effects are very relaxing. But not too heavy to cause ‘couch lock’ at moderate levels. Please keep in mind that each grow will be different and the flower’s effects will differ depending on which region of the country that the plant is grown. Thanks for reading! Keep blazin.’
Affirmation: If my day starts with a wake and bake, it has to be a good day.
“Sometimes the most productive thing you can do is relax.”
-Mark Black
Light the sage. Hide the good towels. Something blessed and slightly irresponsible is about to happen. And as a member of the LGBTQ+ community, I love celebrating our right to marry legally. And really, we don’t know how long that will last. Today’s Budtender Moment is dedicated to Bubba’s Wedding.
It’s a strain that feels like somebody spiked the punch bowl with relaxation and then told you to “just vibe, darlin’.” This strain doesn’t walk into the room. It stumbles in, hugs everybody too long, and immediately asks where the food is.
Bubba’s Wedding is an indica-dominant strain. It is a cross between Bubba Kush × Wedding Cake. Bubba Kush is a cross between OG Kush × Unknown Indica. Wedding Cake is a cross between Triangle Kush × Animal Mints. A match made in cannabis heaven and probably officiated by somebody’s cousin who got ordained online at 2 a.m. Together, they create a strain that says, “Sit down, breathe, and don’t start no mess.”
This strain hits like a slow‑motion hug from an uncle who calls you “champ” even if you’re 40. And the effects of this strain are deep relaxation, mood lift, a gentle mental fog that makes everything feel like it has soft edges, and he sudden urge to sit down “just for a second” and wake up 45 minutes later feeling reborn. It’s the perfect strain for when you want to unwind but still maintain enough dignity to answer the door.
Top terpenes in this strain are Myrcene Caryophyllene Limonene, Linalool, and Humulene. Patients report relief from stress, anxiety, pain, sleep support, and emotional recovery after dealing with family group texts. It’s the strain that says, “You’re safe. Drink some water.” And that’s Bubba’s Wedding. The strain that shows up with a casserole, fixes your mood, and then falls asleep on your couch like it pays rent. If this strain had a motto, it would be: “Bubba’s Wedding, cause sometimes you need a break from your own personality.” Now go hydrate, stretch your back, and try not to start any arguments with appliances today.
Please keep in mind that each grow will be different and the flower’s effects will differ depending on which region of the country that the plant is grown. Thanks for reading! Keep blazin.’
Affirmation: I release the tension I don’t need and welcome the peace I deserve.
This Puzzled Life 