This Puzzled Life is a mental health and recovery blog exploring addiction, trauma healing, LGBTQ experiences, humor, and the strange moments that shape us.
“My weed and I have an understanding. It keeps me calm. And I pretend I’m going to be productive.”
-Unknown
Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. If one more person tells me “I support you” while actively voting against my existence, I’m going to roll them up in a joint with Sugar Puss and smoke them like a cautionary tale. This strain doesn’t just hit, it vogues. It enters your bloodstream like it’s walking a ballroom category and immediately wins Best Flavor, Best Vibes, and Best Emotional Support Performance by a Cannabis Product.
Sugar Puss is a balanced hybrid strain that is a cross between Cheetah Piss x Bakers Dozen. Cheetah Piss is a cross between Lemonade × Gelato 42 × London Poundcake 97. It’s the loud, citrusy cousin who shows up to Pride with glitter eyebrows and a fan that says, “NOT TODAY.” Baker’s Dozen is cross between Milk & Cookies × Rainbow Chip. It’s the one known for sweet, creamy dessert notes with a funky citrus edge. It’s the queer auntie who always has snacks, wisdom, and a flask of something that smells like liberation. Together they birthed Sugar Puss, a strain that tastes like sweetness, smells like citrus chaos, and hits like a drag queen yelling “HYDRATE!” from the stage while throwing rhinestones at your trauma. Flavor profile is like when “If a Pride float and a bakery had a baby.”
The top terpenes in this strain are Limonene, Caryophyllene, and Pinene. Patients report relief with conditions such as stress, depression, pain, fatigue and needing to feel like a rainbow‑wrapped version of themselves. So, light the charcoal. Sprinkle the glitter. And tell your inner saboteur to take several seats.
Sugar Puss is not just a strain. It’s a spiritual pep talk in a joint, a citrus‑flavored reminder that your queerness is sacred, your joy is political, and your vibe is protected by the ancestors and a very sassy terpene profile. Smoke it when you need to remember who you are. Smoke it when the world feels heavy. Smoke it when you want to laugh so hard you snort glitter. Because baby, you deserve to feel like the main character at the Pride parade of your own life.
Please keep in mind that each grow will be different and the flower’s effects will differ depending on which region of the country that the plant is grown. Thanks for reading! Keep blazin.’
Affirmation: “I rise in my queerness, I breathe in my peace, and I stay lifted in a joy so loud and unapologetic that even the universe has to adjust its crown.”
“When the world starts smelling like political mildew, light the charcoal. Call your ancestors. And let the queer folk lead the way back to sanity.”
-This Puzzled Life
Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. The energy in this house, and frankly, in this entire country, has gotten so funky that even my cats are refusing to walk through certain rooms without spiritual PPE.
I woke up this morning with my hair looking like a disgruntled possum. Before I could even sip my coffee, the cats were holding a household meeting about “the state of the union.” Which is always a bad sign. Coco had a clipboard. Tink was already in the hallway wearing her imaginary reading glasses. Which were radiating the kind of disappointment usually reserved for people who microwave fish at work. Piper also whispered, “Ma’am, the political nonsense has reached critical levels. We need a blog post before Tink files a grievance.” She was chewing on the corner of a cardboard box like she was absorbing strength for the battle ahead. And she was also eating the minutes.
And here we are. I’m half awake. Half-caffeinated. Fully irritated. And spiritually powered by coffee and queer rage and fully done with the world. The cats, unionized and dramatic. The political landscape is acting like it needs to be put in time‑out with no tablet. And I’m ready to unpack the latest political nonsense like it’s a Walmart bag full of mystery items you forgot you bought.
Let’s begin. The cats have taken their positions. Tink is pacing like a union rep preparing for a strike. Coco is perched in a sunbeam like a disappointed CEO. And Piper is licking an outlet for emotional support.
Filed by Piper (Gremlin-at-Large), Tink (Union Rep), and Coco (CEO of Sunbeams)
Ladies, gentlemen, gays, theys, strays, and anyone who has ever been personally victimized by a legislative session. welcome. I, Tinkerbell, your local union rep and part‑time conspiracy theorist, have called this emergency press briefing because the humans are stressed. The news is chaotic. And the federal government has once again discovered a new way to make LGBTQ folks’ lives harder. And when the humans are stressed. We are stressed. And when we are stressed. Someone’s shower curtain is getting shredded. That’s democracy, baby.
Coco here. CEO. Visionary. Keeper of Warm Spots. I run this house. And I run it with dignity. That’s something certain political leaders could try sometime. Let’s talk about these changes that have been rolling out like a bad reboot of a show nobody asked for.
1. Policies targeting transgender people
Tink’s summary: “Why are they obsessed with people’s gender? They can’t even manage their own hair.”
From restrictions on gender‑affirming care to attempts to limit trans people’s rights in public life. The changes have been hitting the trans community hard. Tink’s official stance: “If someone tried to regulate my litter box access, I would simply bite them.”
2. Attempts to roll back protections for LGBTQ workers and students
Piper interrupts, “We in the Feline Union stand firmly against workplace discrimination. Especially discrimination that interrupts nap time.”
Some policy shifts have weakened protections for LGBTQ employees and students. And this is making it harder for queer folks to feel safe at work or school. Piper’s stance is, “If anyone tried to discriminate against me, I would scream at 3 a.m. Until they reconsidered their life choices.”
3. Changes affecting LGBTQ families and adoption rights
Coco says, “Imagine telling someone they can’t adopt because of who they love. Meanwhile, I’ve seen humans who can’t even keep a houseplant alive.”
Some policy changes have made it harder for LGBTQ couples to adopt or foster children. Coco: “We support all families. Especially the ones who provide snacks.”
4. The demonization of the LGBTQ community. Especially trans folks
Piper: “Oh, the irony. The same people clutching pearls about ‘protecting children’ are the ones passing laws that harm them.”
Some political messaging has painted LGBTQ people, especially transgender people, as threats or problems. Tink: “If anyone is a threat, it’s Coco when she hasn’t had her 2 p.m. zoomies.”
Piper here. I’m the emotional support gremlin. I don’t understand politics. But I do understand vibes. And the vibes are rancid. Let me tell you what I’ve observed. The humans are tired. The queer humans are extra tired. And the trans humans are tired, angry, and carrying the entire moral backbone of the country on their shoulders. And the cats? We’re eating plastic. And knocking things off counters in solidarity.
Coco’s official statement: “Stop targeting LGBTQ people. They’re fabulous. Also, give me treats.”
Tink (adjusting tiny glasses): “We stand with the LGBTQ community. We stand with trans folks. We stand with queer families. We stand with drag queens, bisexuals, nonbinary babes, leather daddies, sapphic aunties, and anyone who has ever had to explain their pronouns to a man who thinks Wi-Fi is witchcraft.”
Coco (basking in a sunbeam): “We reject policies that harm queer people. We reject discrimination. We reject cruelty. We reject anything that interrupts my naps.”
Piper (chewing a cardboard box): “We reject bigotry. And also, gravity.”
And that, my friends, concludes today’s episode of “Why Are Humans Like This?” starring a government that needs therapy. A household that runs on chaos. And three cats who have officially drafted a cease‑and‑desist letter addressed to bigotry itself.
Coco has stamped it with her paw. Tink has notarized it with a dramatic sigh. Piper tried to eat it, which counts as approval. Coco has filed the paperwork. Tink has approved it with a single judgmental blink. Piper tried to eat the evidence, which honestly feels symbolic.
Coco: “If the government wants to keep messing with LGBTQ rights, they should know this household is ready. We have claws. We have opinions. We have a gremlin.”
Tink: “And we have a human who writes like a Southern Shakespeare with boundary issues.”
Piper: “So consider this your warning. Stop targeting queer people. Or we will knock over everything you love.”
Let me say this with the clarity of a Southern auntie who has had enough. And also, loud enough for the ancestors, the neighbors, and the lawmakers who pretend not to hear. Queer people aren’t the problem. Cruelty is. And this household does not negotiate with nonsense. Queer folks deserve safety. Trans folks deserve dignity. And bigotry deserves to be escorted out like it just caused a scene at Applebee’s.
This household stands with the LGBTQ community. We have claws out. The sage lit. The charcoal glowing. And Piper ready to scream at anyone who needs a reminder. The cats strut away like they just won the Miss America pageant. They exit the room in slow motion. With tails high. And theme music swelling. Thanks for reading! Happy Pride!
Affirmation: My spirit is steady. My boundaries are blessed. And my queer joy is non‑negotiable. No law, no headline, and no nonsense can dim the light I carry. Or the claws backing me up.
“I’m not saying my life is chaotic. But even my sage asked for PTO.”
-This Puzzled Life
Light the charcoal. This is the moment that coal hisses. The ancestors lean in like, “Oh Lord… Dana ’bout to talk her talk again.” And the cats scatter like federal agents just pulled up in the driveway. And they should. This intro is hotter than Mississippi asphalt in July. And twice as disrespectful. Bless the yard. And hide your rainbow koozies. Because I’m about to say something that’ll make a Southern conservative clutch their pearls so hard they turn into diamonds. The smoke ain’t even settled yet and already my spirit guides are whispering, “Don’t hold back, sugar. Drag them like folding chairs at a riverfront brawl.”
The cats have formed a prayer circle. The neighbors are peeking through the blinds like they’re watching a tornado touchdown. And I’m standing in the yard with a rainbow apron and a spatula like, “Welcome to Pride, y’all. Let’s talk about trust. It sure ain’t coming from the administration.”
This ain’t just an intro. This is a front-porch sermon. A queer revival. And a Southern auntie prophecy delivered with the accuracy of a gossiping church lady who knows everybody’s business. It’s the version where Mississippi aunties, closeted deacons, rainbow‑flag‑waving cousins, and your one libertarian uncle who only shows up for barbecue all gather on the porch to say, “I don’t know what they’re doing up there in Washington, but it ain’t right.” And honestly? They’re not wrong.
Let’s talk about the things I trust more than this administration. Which is said through the lens of Southern conservative energy, queer resilience, and the chaotic truth of living below the Mason‑Dixon line.
1. A Southern conservative who says, “Now I’m not homophobic, BUT—”
At least I know what’s coming. Predictability is a love language.
2. The church fan with MLK on one side and a funeral home ad on the other.
That fan has been holding the community together longer than any policy.
3. The rainbow flag I hung outside that mysteriously disappears every June and reappears in the church lost‑and‑found.
Even the thieves have a conscience.
4. The deacon who whispers “I’m praying for you” but also slips me $20 for gas.
That’s bipartisan support.
5. The Southern mama who says she “doesn’t agree with the lifestyle” but will fight a senator with her bare hands if they try to take away her gay child’s healthcare.
That’s the kind of political complexity Washington could never handle.
6. The Pride parade in a conservative town where half the crowd is cheering and the other half is pretending they just happened to be walking by.
And yet it still runs smoother than federal operations.
7. The cat who judges my outfits but still shows up to Pride wearing a tiny American flag bandana like she’s running for office.
Piper 2028: “Claws Out for Civil Rights.”
8. The Southern conservative who says, “I don’t trust the government, but I trust Jesus and my tractor.” Honestly? Same.
9. The rainbow glitter that refuses to leave my floor.
It has more staying power than any administration I’ve lived through.
10. The HOA president who hates everything but still approves my Pride decorations because she’s scared of my grandma. That’s real governance.
Living queer in the Deep South means navigating a political landscape where people will vote against your rights at 9 a.m. Bring you a casserole at 11 a.m. And ask you to fix their Wi-Fi at 2 p.m. It’s a region where people say, “love the sinner, hate the sin,” but also “come get a plate, baby, I made extra.” Where the same person who says, “marriage is between a man and a woman” will also say “but y’all looked real cute in your engagement photos.” And somehow all of this still feels more stable, more honest, and more navigable than whatever the administration is doing on any given Tuesday.
May your charcoal burn steady. May your sage smoke be thick. May your boundaries be fortified like a Mississippi grandma’s chicken and dumpling recipe. May your Pride be loud and your joy be protected. And may you always trust the things that have never failed you like queer resilience, Southern contradictions, ancestral side‑eye, and the unstoppable force of a community that survives on humor, grit, and the ability to say, “bless their heart.”
And that’s why, at the end of the day, I trust my cats’ union bylaws, a drag queen’s wig glue, a conservative uncle’s “I ain’t sayin’ I agree, but I love you,” and the glitter that’s been stuck in my carpet since Obama’s first term. And it’s all more than I trust this administration. So, Let the rainbow flags wave high. Let the Southern conservatives keep pretending they “don’t get it” while secretly watching RuPaul’s Drag Race in 480p so the Lord can’t see.
Pride ain’t waiting on permission. Pride ain’t asking for approval. Pride is the mic drop. The finale. The fireworks. The testimony. And the whole damn altar call. And if the administration wants to catch up? They better lace up their boots, ’cause the queer South already left the porch. Thanks for reading! Happy Pride and keep resisting bigotry.
Affirmation: I move through this world like a Southern thunderstorm in June. It’s loud, dramatic, cleansing, and absolutely nobody’s business but God’s and the cats who witnessed it.
“My cats celebrate Pride the same way they celebrate everything. With confidence, chaos, and zero respect for personal boundaries.”
-Unknown
Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. Today’s chaos is brought to you by Gay Pride, glitter, questionable fashion choices, and the three furry roommates who somehow believe they are the grand marshals of every parade I attend.
Welcome to This Puzzled Life! Where the cats are dramatic. The snacks are questionable. And the Pride celebrations start whether anyone is emotionally prepared or not.
I woke up this morning ready to honor love, joy, and self‑expression. And I immediately found Piper wearing a rainbow pipe cleaner like a crown. Coco was judging my outfit like she was the CEO of Fashion Police. And Tinkerbell is sipping imaginary tea like she’s seen this all before.
It’s Pride Month. And in this house, that means glitter on the floor. Opinions no one asked for. And at least one cat trying to join a parade to which they are absolutely not invited. Me and my family of cats align with the “Radical Left Lunatic Antifa.” And we are big supporters of equal rights for all.
Featuring Tinkerbell (the wise elder), Coco (the judgmental mayor), and Piper (the chaotic baby).
Me: “Alright, team. Pride Month is here. We’re celebrating. We’re showing up. We are being fabulous.”
Piper: “I was born fabulous. I came out of the womb with jazz paws.”
Coco: “You came out of the womb screaming and knocking over medical equipment. That’s not fabulous. That’s a liability.”
Tinkerbell: “Children, please. Pride is about love, acceptance, and not embarrassing your momma in public.”
Me: “Thank you, Tink. See? She gets it.”
Tinkerbell: “I also get that you bought rainbow suspenders. Suspenders for a woman who trips over flip‑flops?”
Me: “That was one time.”
Coco: “It was three times. I counted.”
Me: “So here’s the plan. We go to the Pride parade. We cheer. We dance. We…”
Coco: “Absolutely not. I’m not going anywhere near a crowd of humans who clap loudly and smell like sunscreen and emotional breakthroughs.”
Piper: “I wanna go! I wanna go! I wanna go! I wanna go!”
Tinkerbell: “You cannot go. You would get adopted by the first lesbian couple who sees you. And honestly? I wouldn’t blame them.”
Me: “Okay, so maybe the cats stay home.”
Coco: “Maybe? Girl, we already made other plans.”
Me: “Look, Pride is about joy and authenticity. Why are y’all acting like I’m dragging you to jury duty.”
Tinkerbell: “Because last year you tried to put us in rainbow bandanas.”
Coco: “Mine said “Purrride.” I have never recovered.”
Piper: “Mine had sparkles. I ate it.”
Me: “Piper you were just born during Pride Month last year.And if ya’ll don’t want to go, I’ll go celebrate Pride by myself. Y’all can stay home and be boring.”
Piper: “I’m not boring. I’m queer‑adjacent.”
Coco: “You’re chaos‑adjacent.”
Tinkerbell: “Go, child. Celebrate. Be proud. Be joyful. And please, try not to fall in public again.”
Me: “That was one time.”
Coco: “It was four. I counted.”
And so, after surviving the debates, the fashion critiques, and Piper’s attempt to lead her own Pride march through the hallway, I’ve accepted one universal truth. Celebrating Pride with cats is like hosting a parade with three tiny, furry drag queens who refuse to rehearse. My outfit may be wrinkled. And my dignity may be hanging on by a thread. But the spirit of Pride is alive and thriving in this chaotic household.
Because at the end of the day, Pride is about love, authenticity, and showing up exactly as you are. Even if “as you are” includes cat hair, glitter in your bra, and Coco muttering that she could’ve done it better. Thanks for reading! Happy Pride!
Affirmation: Pride Month because even cats know you should strut your truth. Swish your tail with confidence. And hiss at anyone who tries to dim your sparkle.
“The truth didn’t break my family. The pretending did.”
-Unknown
Here’s the bigger picture. I didn’t grow up in a family that heals. Problems don’t get solved. They get buried alive. And then resurrected during holidays like emotional zombies. Now that me and my sister are adults, childhood resentments still pop up like whack‑a‑mole. And nobody wants to pick up a mallet. Let’s all smile in public so we don’t “defame the family.” Which honestly, does a fantastic job defaming itself.
And my family isn’t special. Dysfunction is everywhere. I have enough mental health education in my background to recognize the patterns. But they’ll swear I’m the problem. If you look past the church smiles, the whole system is sick. I would genuinely rather be hit by a car than attend “family time.” And because my kids were born into a lesbian family, they get treated like they came with a moral recall notice.
You can’t throw money at children and then take no active part in their lives the rest of the time. Especially, when you do the opposite with the other children in the family. The kids notice. I’ve tried talking about it for 17 years. And the truth is this. They just don’t care.
I have a master’s degree in counseling psychology. Yet somehow I’m the ignorant one. They don’t want insight. They don’t want help. They want silence. And mine has officially expired. I defend myself and my kids however I see fit. Respectfully? No. Effectively? Absolutely.
They want healing without effort. They’re emotional pillow princesses that want the benefits of growth while doing absolutely nothing but blinking dramatically. And when truth bruises their egos, accountability never shows up. Meanwhile, my dad plays messenger pigeon flying information back and forth between me and the rest of the family so that the dysfunction stays perfectly preserved.
Here’s the part they’ll never admit. Family therapy requires guts and transparency. And those two things they treat like forbidden sins. Instead, they’ve built a giant sand pile where they can bury their heads. And pretend nothing is wrong. That’s their comfort zone. Not truth. Not healing. Just sand. Neck‑deep and breathing through a straw of selective memory.
My favorite quote says it best, “If nothing changes, then nothing changes.” And I refuse to be silenced because their comfort depends on my suffering.
Our family lives in what I call comfortable dysfunction. It’s the emotional recliner they refuse to replace even though the springs are broken. And the fabric smells like denial. It’s easier than accountability. Easier than honesty. Easier than saying, “Maybe the gay daughter isn’t the downfall of civilization.”
And as if being the rainbow sheep wasn’t enough. I’m also the green sheep of the family because I’m a medical cannabis patient. And the family’s translation is that I’m “druggin’ and thuggin’.” The “bad influence.” And the “one who needs prayer.” But that’s not even the real issue.
The problem is my refusal to sit quietly in the pew of generational silence. The issue is that I no longer participate in the family’s favorite pastime of pretending. I’m done shrinking myself so other people can stay cozy in their outdated beliefs. I’m done letting conservative Christian values be weaponized against me and my children.
They can keep their selective morality. The kind where my sister thinks being gay is “wrong and evil.” But somehow premarital sex is just the Olympic sport of “being human.” Funny how sin gets flexible when it’s their behavior on the table.
“My family says I’m ‘living in sin.’ Which is wild coming from some of them who wave a red hat like it’s the state flower. They preach about morality and still treat premarital sex, drinking, and hypocrisy like they’re covered under the ‘Jesus forgives me’ warranty.”And trust me. They act like I graffitied the Ten Commandments in rainbow glitter.
Being gay automatically made me the family’s “problem child.” Even though the real problems have nothing to do with what gender I love. And everything to do with the fact that I refuse to pretend. My sister can have premarital sex. Drink like she’s hydrating for the Olympics and drive afterward. And micromanage her child like she’s running a dictatorship. But somehow I’m the moral crisis.
Meanwhile, my sister’s shot glasses stays full. Her judgment stays loud. And her hypocrisy stays undefeated. Funny how cannabis for medical reasons is “dangerous.” But alcohol with a side of denial is “just being human.” I’m the rainbow sheep because I live authentically. I’m the green sheep because I choose a legal, doctor‑recommended treatment. And I’m the scapegoat because I refuse to shrink so other people can stay comfortable in their dysfunction. If being myself makes me the rainbow‑green hybrid sheep of the family, then so be it. At least I’m not grazing in the pasture of hypocrisy.
So no, I’m not stepping back into the box they built for me. I’m not dimming myself, so their comfort stays intact. I’m not carrying the weight of a family that refuses to lift a finger for its own healing. They can keep their comfortable dysfunction. They can keep their silence. They can keep their outdated beliefs wrapped in Bible verses that only apply to me.
Today I honor my inner rainbow‑green sheep. I’m fabulously queer. I’m medically lifted. And completely unbothered by the opinions of people who confuse hypocrisy with holiness.”
I’m choosing truth over tradition. I’m choosing growth over guilt. I’m choosing my children, my peace, and my sanity. And if my existence shakes the foundation of their worldview. Then the foundation was weak to begin with. Thanks for reading! Do you and let the others do them.
Affirmation: I bless my rainbow‑green sheep soul today queer, medicated, and thriving. While certain relatives clutch their red hats and pearls at my existence. But don’t blink twice at their own chaos, contradictions, or alcohol fueled commandments.
“My family says I’m ‘living in sin.’ Which is hilarious coming from people who treat denial like a spiritual gift. And premarital sex like a community service.”
-This Puzzled Life
Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy, get your shoes on and leave. Today we’re diving into one of my favorite dysfunctional family topics. Family roles. Those unofficial job titles we never applied for. Never wanted. And yet somehow ended up performing like we were on salary. Take a moment and see where you and your people fall. And here’s the spoiler. If you’re reading this, you already know.
Before we get started, let me warn you. This is not a gentle stroll through family history. This is a full‑blown guided tour through a Southern household. That’s been held together with casserole, denial, and conservative Christian values. That seem to get applied with the accuracy of a toddler using glitter glue.
I grew up in a family where “we don’t talk about that” wasn’t a suggestion. It was the eleventh commandment. Emotions were treated like illegal fireworks. Everyone had them. Nobody handled them correctly. And something always exploded at the worst possible time.
In my house, honesty was considered aggressive. Accountability was considered disrespectful. And therapy? Therapy was treated like witchcraft performed by people who “don’t know Jesus personally.”
Meanwhile, the dysfunction strutted around the living room in broad daylight wearing a name tag and a church hat. And everyone pretended they couldn’t see it. If denial were a sport, my family would have Olympic medals and a sponsorship from Hobby Lobby.
So, buckle your emotional seatbelt. And prepare yourself. Because once you recognize the roles in a dysfunctional family. It’s like spotting roaches. You can’t unsee them. And suddenly they’re everywhere.
Family roles are the expected behaviors, responsibilities, and emotional acrobatics each person performs to keep the family circus running. These roles shift depending on culture, family size, and personality. But the classics are Hero, Scapegoat, Golden Child, Lost Child, Mascot. And I show up everywhere like glitter after a craft project.
Let’s begin.
1. The Hero (a.k.a. The Family PR Department) The Hero’s job is to make the family look normal, stable, and “blessed and highly favored” to the outside world. According to theraplatform.com (2025), they take on excessive responsibility to gain approval. This is my mother’s role. Or at least the role she auditions for. She is attention-seeking. Reputation-obsessed. And allergic to accountability. She delivers passive-aggressive comments like she’s handing out communion wafers. And then acts shocked when people get upset.
Her signature move? “The Dummy Card.” Suddenly she “doesn’t remember,” “didn’t mean it like that,” or “doesn’t know what you’re talking about.” But trust me, she knows. And right after she stirs the pot. She gives my dad the “rescue me” look. As if she didn’t just season that pot with cayenne, spite, and generational trauma. We only have real conversations when she’s mad at my sister, The Golden Child. Otherwise, it’s news, sports, and weather which is the Holy Trinity of Avoidance.
2. The Scapegoat (hi, it’s me) The Scapegoat is blamed for everything wrong in the family. Stubbed toe? My fault. Bad weather? Somehow me. The economy? Probably me too. I don’t conform to their lifestyle. I’m gay. I use medical cannabis. I don’t go to church because there are too many people who support the cruelty of the Trump regime. And align theirselves with the MAGA movement which practices a form of chriatianity that cannot be found in any Bible. And quite frankly, they have a bad reputation for normalizing pedophilia while demonizing being gay. I guess I should be glad that I just can’t understand that rationale.
I talk about taboo topics. And I acknowledge reality instead of pretending everything is fine. And did I mention I’m gay? Because trust me they will. Instead of saying, “She’s our family and we love her no matter the gender of someone she loves and that loves her.” They act like my existence is a PR crisis. The attitude is like, “Remember when Dana destroyed the family by being prouid to be gay and authentic?” I’m also the family whistleblower. I don’t play along with generational nonsense. I’m my own person. And I’m not apologizing for it.
3. The Golden Child (my sister, obviously) The Golden Child is the family’s prized possession. The chosen one. The favorite. And the one who can do no wrong even when she is actively doing wrong. Thriveworks.com (2023) describes this child as obedient, praised, and protected. That’s her. She has been dipped in gold since birth. She follows the script. Holds the same beliefs. And passes them down to her children like heirloom china. She was taught what to think. Not how to think. And the cycle continues. Children aren’t born to hate. They learn it from the adults who raise them. And this is what my sister excels at consistently.
4. The Lost Child (also my sister — she multitasks) The Lost Child avoids conflict like it’s a full-time job with benefits. She withdraws. Stays quiet. And pretends she’s above the chaos. While simultaneously contributing to it. She never acknowledges her harmful behavior. She believes most people are beneath her. And when she talks about someone being gay, she spells it out “G-A-Y” like she’s avoiding summoning a demon. Her emotional range is that of a frozen waffle. And honestly, that’s the family vibe overall.
5. The Mascot (me and my dad) Mascots use humor to distract from the dysfunction. We crack jokes. Lighten the mood. And do not dare fix anything. We just to keep the room from exploding. This doesn’t always work especially when me and my sister are at war like rainbows and bibles. My dad rescues my mom and sister from “big, bad Dana.” Who refuses to sweep things under the rug. I’m the villain because I tell the truth. Imagine that. Kind of sounds like the current government’s level of functioning.
Now you’ve met the cast and the roles they cling to like emotional security blankets. In the next part we’ll zoom out and look at the bigger picture. And it’s the part they refuse to acknowledge.
That concludes our tour of the Family Circus. Please exit through the gift shop. Where denial is half‑off. Accountability is out of stock. And the Scapegoat merchandise is mysteriously overpriced.” Thanks for reading! Keep breaking chains.
Affirmation: Today I honor my emotionally athletic self. The whistleblowing. Boundary‑setting. Truth‑telling legend who refuses to join the family’s Olympic Denial Team. Even though they’ve been training since the womb.
“If your faith requires someone else to suffer, it’s not holy. It’s just dressed‑up cruelty.”
-This Puzzled Life
Light the charcoal. Apparently the courts woke up. Stretched. Sipped their Folgers and said, “Hmm. What if we brought back psychological torture today?” And the conservative Christians said, “YAY! Revival!” Meanwhile, every queer person in the South is standing on their porch like, “Lord, give me strength, patience, and a Xanax the size of a biscuit.”
Down here in Mississippi, we know hypocrisy like we know humidity. It clings. It suffocates. It ruins your hair and your spirit at the same time. And nothing brings out the hypocrisy quite like a ruling that says, “Sure, go ahead and traumatize queer people in the name of Jesus. He won’t mind.” These folks will tell you with a straight face that they’re doing this out of “love.” If that’s love, then I’m a straight man named Bubba who drives a lifted truck and says “bro” every six seconds.
Let’s be honest. This ruling isn’t about saving souls. It’s about controlling bodies. It’s about punishing difference. It’s about making queer people small enough to fit inside their narrow theology and even narrower worldview. And the wildest part? These are the same people who can’t keep their own households together. The same people who preach “traditional marriage” while living like a deleted storyline from a messy reality show. The same people who scream “protect the children!” While ignoring the actual dangers children face like abuse, exploitation, and the youth pastor who keeps volunteering for overnight trips.
But sure. Let’s focus on the gays. Because we’re clearly the problem. Not the pastors who keep getting “relocated.” Not the lawmakers who can’t keep their pants zipped. Not the “family values” influencers who spend more time in hotel rooms than in prayer.
Let me break it down in terms even a conservative uncle can understand. You cannot convert someone out of being gay. You cannot shame someone out of being gay. You cannot therapy someone out of being gay. You cannot “deliverance session” someone out of being gay. Unless the only thing you’re delivering is trauma.
If sexuality were a choice, don’t you think I would’ve chosen something easier? Something with less paperwork? Something that didn’t require me to explain myself at every family gathering like I’m giving a TED Talk in a Cracker Barrel? But no. God made me like this. Curved, colorful, and incapable of pretending otherwise.
You could dangle 45 sets of dangly bits in front of me like a clearance sale at Spencer’s Gifts and I still wouldn’t be straight. But put me in front of some boobs and a cooter cat and suddenly I’m glowing like a porch light in July. That’s not a choice. That’s not a phase. That’s not a “lifestyle.” That’s divine architecture.
If you want to stay in the closet because it feels safer, I get it. But don’t pretend it’s holiness. Don’t pretend it’s righteousness. Don’t pretend it’s “God’s plan.” It’s fear. And fear is the currency of conservative Christianity. I sprinted out of the closet like it was on fire. And I’ve been free ever since. Even with my own family members who weaponize scripture like it’s a Nerf gun filled with shame. I send that mess right back to sender with a smile and a boundary. Chosen family is where the love lives. Chosen family is where the truth lives. Chosen family is where the rainbow was always meant to shine.
Theo rainbow is divine reassurance. It’s God saying, “Relax. I made y’all fabulous on purpose.” No court ruling can change that. No pastor can change that. No conversion therapist with a clipboard and a superiority complex can change that. We are here. We are queer. We are not going anywhere. And we are not apologizing for existing.
So let the smoke rise like a prayer the evangelicals forgot to proofread. Stand tall in your queerness like a magnolia tree that refuses to bow to the storm. Because here’s the truth they don’t want to face. Every time they try to erase us. We multiply. Every time they try to shame us. We shine harder. Every time they try to legislate us out of existence. We become louder, brighter, and more unbothered than ever.
Their hypocrisy is loud. But our joy is louder. Their cruelty is sharp. But our resilience is sharper. Their fear is deep. But our love is deeper. And at the end of the day, when the court rulings fade. When the sermons lose their sting. When the shame campaigns collapse under their own weight. We will still be here laughing. Loving. Living. Thriving. Dancing in the rainbow God hung in the sky as a reminder that storms don’t last forever.
So let them clutch their pearls. Let them scream about “family values.” Let them pretend their closets don’t have motion‑activated lights. We know the truth. You damn sure cannot stop the rainbow from rising. Mic dropped. Floor cracked. Hypocrisy exposed. Amen and pass the sweet tea. Thanks for reading! And Happy Pride year-round. What are your thoughts on this type of ruling?
Affirmation: “My identity is divine. My joy is sacred. And no court, church, or closet can dim the rainbow God put in my soul.”
“Donald Trump is a disaster. He is a bully who doesn’t have the curiosity to understand the issues; he contradicts himself repeatedly; his views of the world are an unmitigated disaster for America and for the American people, and I believe that all of this will become clearer with time.”
-Haim Saban
Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. This month I thought that I would focus on Donald Trump and his administration since this year will be the mid-terms. And since we all barely made it through 2025 having to deal with our “Pedo-In-Chief”, we still have a lot of work to do before the mid-terms. But have you ever really noticed who we have running our government? This blog will completely dedicated to Donald Trump, his dementia, cruelty, and stupidity.
1. Donald Trump-also known as Cankles McTaco Tits/Felon-in-Chief/TACO/Agent Orange/Don the Con/Dementia Don/Dozing Don/Orange Mussolini/Old Queen/Marie Antoinette/The Other Woman/The Orange Turd/Bubba’s Girl/MAGA Daddy/President Snowflake / Tangerine Toddler, Captain Bone Spurs, Mango Mussolini / Pumpkin Spiced Stalin, The Donvict / President Felon, Humpty Trumpty and others are famously known for being best buds with convicted pedophiles and sex traffickers Ghislane Maxwell and Jeffrey Epstein. They got some luscious exceptions on doing prison time by being allowed to continue their abuse towards children. And recently transferred to Camp Bryan where Ghislane is allowed to do whatever she wants. However, Epstein was mysteriously “murdered” instead of claims that he committed suicide. And oops! The guards just happened to be asleep and the cameras quit working. Convenient, eh? All I can say is, “Jeffrey didn’t hang himself.” And it has also been confirmed that Donald Trump is in the Epstein files as told to him by Attorney General Pam Bondi and FBI Director Kash Patel. In fact, his name is mentioned 1500 times throughout the evidence that links him to this pedophile and sexual abuse of minors ring. This case will likely take several years to get to the bottom. But Trump’s administration is actively conducting an unprecedented cover-up of a horrific pedophilia ring involving royalty, billionaires, and very powerful people of the world that affected over 1,000 children. And several people who were involved as victims or those who pushed for the release of the Epstein files are now dead. Donald can claim that it’s “fake news” or a “democratic hoax” which are his “go to” answer with anything he or his supporters don’t agree with. (https://docs.house.gov/meetings/JU/JU08/20250227/117951/HHRG-119-JU08-20250227-SD006-U6.pdf.).
I couldn’t fit everything on one blog. So, there will be two just on Donald Trump. He has a terminal case of “Blame Biden Syndrome.” I will look at his horrifically, incompetent cabinet members and also an emphasis on key figure in the MAGA movement. But one thing I think that most of us can agree on is that the only time he lies is when his mouth moves. There is so much information and other areas of our democracy that are being effect in terrible ways. And sadly, I couldn’t cover them all due to space. But I thought that I would hit some of the main areas. Thanks for reading! And stay informed.
Affirmation: I make great deals. The most incredible deals-like a genius.
“There are no kings in America. Only gilded me we can topple again and again.”
-Aileen Cassinetto
Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. Today, I want to talk to you about our country for a moment. I don’t usually write much about politics on my blog. Social media is quite different. However, we are currently experiencing unprecedented times. Which is causing so much collateral damage that it could take several presidents to undo what is being done if that is even possible.
When my boys come to visit we always talk about current things like school, everyday life, personal wants, “would you rather” and the current political environment. And to be honest, I never thought I would have to explain basic human rights and how those are egregiously being destroyed. And now the decisions of a lot of Americans have put in power a want to be dictator.
I wrote a blog this past month that recently posted about how good we have it in our country. And now I must retract that statement by tell you that the United States of America, the threat to democracy and the very essence of our lives are now being tailored for a fascist society. And the “American Spirit,” which is not a person, is being made a mockery of the founding fathers’ original intentions. Let me break it down.
Our Foundational Ideas
· Liberty and Independence: The freedom to think, speak, and act as one chooses without infringing on the rights of others.
· Self-government: The belief that citizens are the ultimate source of authority and have the right to participate in the political process.
· Equality: The idea that all people are created equal and deserve fair treatment, respect, and dignity, with equal opportunities for success.
· Individualism: The belief that individuals are in control of their own destinies and can achieve self-sufficiency and independence through their own initiative (https:study.com, 2025).
Aspirations of the American Dream
· The promise of opportunity: Anyone can achieve success through sacrifice, risk-taking, and hard work.
· Upward social mobility: The change for individuals to attain a better life than their parents.
· A “democracy of goods”: The notion that everyone should have access to material comfort and goods, a vision popularized in the 20th century (https://www.wikipedia.org, 2025).
I now must again explain to my children how racism, at its core, is just wrong in every way. And how the example of the highest position, in our once revered democracy is being dismantled one freedom and one right at a time. And how if someone disagrees with someone’s way of life, you must not fear and/or hate them. I have instructed my children from day one that people and families are unique individually. And just because of their uniqueness, it doesn’t mean that they are wrong. I don’t care about your skin color, religious affiliation, political affiliation, sexual orientation, ethnic background, or gender identity. However, what I don’t like are bullies. And currently we have a bully in power.
I don’t hate no matter how far left or far right you are on the spectrum. But the idea of hating and inciting violence against someone because they are different is not ok. Do I like people like Charlie Kirk? Hell no. Do I think that he deserved to be murdered based on his views, regardless of whether I agreed with him or the fact that he was a racist and a homophobe, never. But when your whole premise of the stage that you voluntarily inject yourself onto is about treating those you disagree with by tearing them down, bad things are bound to happen. And when political views and votes are more important than lives of our citizens and our beautiful immigrants, our tears begin to fall.
When the president of the United States who has 34 felony convictions, and whose best friends were the vilest child sex trafficker and rapists this country has ever seen, while also having the support of others, it must be discussed and stopped. Jeffery Epstein and Ghislane Maxwell were convicted of some of the most horrible crimes against children. And it has been confirmed that Donald Trump’s name, as well as many others, were also listed in the Epstein files.
As a parent and someone who was also preyed upon by those in power, the only logical decision of our government should be to release the unredacted files and have total transparency. This shouldn’t be a tall order. I see a lot of people online who voted for Donald talking about how evil Jefferey Epstein was. And how pedophiles should be held accountable, unless you talk about the high probability that Donald Trump is also connected to said crimes.
I have never seen so many lies and an obvious cover up by the United States government in my life. I don’t care whose names, whether they be democrats, republicans, independents or royalty, are on the list. They should all be held accountable. And for some of us, whose perpetrators were never held accountable, this is a national symbol of that fight for justice. And just maybe the bad guys get caught in the end and have to pay for their actions that have ruined upwards of a thousand children’s lives.
When you are forced into something as horrific as sexual abuse, your life is forever changed. You will never view the world as “safe” again. You will never look at the average person the same again. And the most intimate part of a person’s life and body are forever damaged. The lies and manipulation that one has to possess to accomplish these acts are more than I can comprehend.
It is my hope and prayer that whoever has taken part in actions consistent with pedophilia, rape and/or the coverup of these crimes will see the day when they are forced to be accountable for everything that they have turned a “blind eye” to. I shouldn’t have to explain why blatant actions have been and continue to be ignored. I shouldn’t have to explain how and why our, once thriving and beautifully diverse country has systematically been sent down the tubes. And is also being controlled by a Russian dictator who is training our orange, “want to be dictator” in the ways of murdering democracy.
My children shouldn’t have to witness and be explained the purpose of “Alligator Alcatraz.” And how funny it is to the hard core “Triple Trumpers” MAGA movement. The only thing consistent are lies, deceit and the many times of the crashing of Grindr by down low politicians. Who are angry because they are scared of authenticity. I shouldn’t have to explain why our country is ok with standing by someone like Benjamin Netanyahu and watching as the genocide in Gaza continues. I shouldn’t have to explain why Vladamir Putin is allowed to continue with the horrific attacks on the people of Ukraine. I shouldn’t have to explain why a dictator across the pond poisons those that don’t agree with them. But here we are.
What I do have to explain are the constant sacrifices of our military service members, who many have laid down their lives for generations, in an effort to make sure that we retain those inalienable rights of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. And how and why the Declaration of Independence and our Constitution was formed. Even though the president of our country clearly knows nothing about said rights which was caught on camera many times. Why “No Kings Day” protests are so important. And how our once love for the “freedom of speech” is being allowed to now be censored.
With tears in my eyes, again, I write this. And the grief of my soul as I watch the sometimes-comical players in this mockery of a democratic government, keeps me up at night. And a lot of times, I laugh to keep from crying. But the videos of children and adults being starved to death is not something that we are accustomed to witnessing. I don’t believe that those who take away the rights of others should have rights of their own.
The tensions in this country of the blatant abuse of power by turning the military on our citizens is uncalled for and scary. And the depths of these fears, I do my best to shield my children from seeing. But they are not dumb. They ask questions and I try to explain them on an age-appropriate level.
I enjoy watching and posting the satire of some of these views. But make no mistake, I will constantly keep at the forefront of our conversations about the importance of such figures in the civil rights movement, Nazi Germany, the extermination of the Jews in concentration camps and the importance of the Stonewall riots. And now, I must explain to them modern day concentration camps disguised as being something “good” for the American public.
People, life as we knew it is disappearing at a rapid rate. It is time for us as Americans to grow a spine and make a peaceful stand against tyranny. And this means doing “your part” in whatever way that looks. No longer is it ok to remain “neutral” as “neutrality” is now a vote for tyranny. You can make a choice to be red, blue or any color of the rainbow. And remember that staying neutral is also a choice. Our country is a collection of diverse groups of people, races, ethnicities, and religions creating One America. The colors that matter the most are the ones who are red, white, and blue.
Thanks for reading! And I hope that you, not only as an American, will stand up for what’s right instead of staying silent to what’s wrong. To our allies across the pond and abroad, your voices also matter. And I personally thank each and every one of you for not allowing the Epstein scandal to go unnoticed. Keep standing for freedom my fellow Americans as will I. And to our diligent immigrants, I will continue to do my part to fight for your right to live the American Dream that most of us took for granted. Thanks for your attention to this matter.
Affirmation: I embrace the opportunities and freedoms in the United States to build the life I deserve.
“Our country is grappling with a youth mental health crisis, and it is particularly pronounced for LGBTQ+ youth.”
-Ronita Nath
Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy, go away. Today, keeping in line with the topic of suicide, I want to discuss suicide in the LGBTQ+ community.
The prevalence of suicide in the LGBTQ+ community is nothing new. The risk for suicide attempts and suicidal ideation can be 3 to 6 times greater for lesbian, gay and bisexual adults according to the National Institutes of Health. But there are also other statistics to keep in mind.
In 2024, 39% of LGBTQ+ youth considered attempting suicide according to The Trevor Project’s national survey. 1 in 10 of LGBTQ+ youth attempted suicide in the past year. And LGBTQ+ youth are more than four times likely to attempt compared to heterosexual youth. I can tell you that personally, I’ve been suicidal many times because of rejection from my family as a lesbian woman.
Transgender and Nonbinary identified individuals are at an even higher rate of suicide. And almost half seriously considered suicide in the past year. In 2022, 80% of transgender people had considered suicide and 40% had attempted. These statistics while staggering are not surprising. These demographic struggles are way more than they should be with little compassion from society.
Bisexual identified individuals are 1.5 times more likely to report thoughts and attempts compared to gay and lesbian individuals. And 2.98 times more likely to have a suicide-related event compared to heterosexuals according to a 2022 study. And the LGBTQ+ youth of color report higher rates of suicidal ideation and attempts compared to white peers (www.therevorproject.org, 2025). And there are several contributing factors such as:
· Discrimination and Prejudice:discrimination, harassment and violence due to sexual orientation or gender identity increases the risk of suicide.
· Lack of Support Systems: Limited social support from family, peers and community exacerbates the mental health challenges.
· Mental Health Disparities: LGBTQ+ individuals are more likely to experience depression and may face barriers to accessing mental health services (https://mhanational.org, 2025).
For someone who is a member of the LGBTQ+ community, I can tell you that I’ve considered suicide many times. The rejection from family and friends are sometimes more than I can bare. And having worked with someone in therapy many years ago, who was not sensitive to the needs of someone in these communities, there was little progress made. Mainly, because I couldn’t trust her. And she was extremely judgmental.
Since collaborating with coach for almost a decade, I can tell you that I have been able to fully accept the fact that I’m gay, despite my family’s disapproval. And then the religious communities also seem to greet us with bible verses telling how many ways we are going to hell. We all know that “choosing” to be gay is such an easier way of life. There the secret is out.
With the current political administration taking away the rights and freedoms that the Stonewall riots stood against, and the lack of funding for suicide hotlines for LGBTQ+ youth, these rates will only climb. Our families, friends, churches, and government should be ashamed of standing by people who are ok with the policies set in place. We are the same as we ever were. We just wear rainbows now.
There are those beautiful allies out there who remain the strength and backbone of our continual fight for equality. We are youth, parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, husband, and wives who just want to be recognized as equals in the eyes of the law. But where reputations and political agendas are from the far right, we must be even more solidified as a community. If someone is for rights with some and not others, I have no room for them in my life. But it’s taken me years to come to this conclusion.
Is it lonely? At times, yes. However, I want people in my life who not only support me but also my friends. The suicide hotline is something that our community not only wants but needs. Many of us have non-supporting families and mine is no different. But I do have a place to live currently. But that does not constitute me putting up with homophobia or fragile masculinity and femininity.
The very few “true” friends I have, understand that being gay is not a “choice.” It’s who I am. And if that’s too much for someone to manage, that’s just too damn bad. To my fellow allies and community members, keep up the good fight. We must take up the original Pride flag are carry on. I love our colors. And I’m proud to call myself a member of the LGBTQ+ community.
Keep smiling. Keep shining. Knowing you can always count on me, for sure. That’s what friends are for. We are seen. And we are heard. And….WE ARE FABULOUS! Thanks for reading. Take what you can use and leave the rest.
Affirmation: I am proud of myself and will continue to strive to do well.
This Puzzled Life 