This Puzzled Life is a mental health and recovery blog exploring addiction, trauma healing, LGBTQ experiences, humor, and the strange moments that shape us.
“Sativa makes me productive. Indica makes me forget what I was supposed to be productive about.”
-Unknown
Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. Today, I want to tell you about another widely known strain that will give you that attitude adjustment and the want to get up and go. Its name is Super Lemon Haze.
Super Lemon Haze is an 80/20 sativa-dominant strain. It is a cross between Lemon Skunk x Super Silver Haze. Lemon Skunk is a cross of two distinct Skunk phenotypes that were selected by the breeder specifically for their lemon traits. And those names are unknown. Super Silver Haze is a cross between Skunk x Northern Lights x Haze. When the two sides of this strain came together, it was a match made in heaven. It was developed in the late 1990s and popularized in the late 2000s by breeder Franco Loja.
If you go solely on the names in the lineage, then we all know those “skunky” strains. And the Haze strains are the ones that taste a lot like mildew in your purple strains. What I can tell you about this strain is that the lemon flavoring is so strong that the strain taste is very enjoyable. I will caution you about the chance of increased anxiety is it’s overused. So, beware if you have anxiety issues.
The top terpenes in this strain are Limonene, Terpinolene, and B-Caryophyllene. Patients report relief from mood swings, stress, fatigue, and mild pain management. Please keep in mind that each grow will be different and the flower’s effects will differ depending on which region of the country that the plant is grown. Thanks for reading! Keep blazin.’
Affirmation: I release tension, fear, and the stories that weigh me down.
“Some strains roar. Some strains whisper. AK‑47 just taps you on the shoulder and says, ‘Relax, sweetheart.’”
– This Puzzled Life
Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Tap the ash twice for the ancestors who absolutely did not expect you to be out here reading a strain review with this much chaotic Southern energy. But here we are, thriving anyway. Today’s Budtender Moment is dedicated to a strain with a name so unnecessarily dramatic it sounds like it should come with a seatbelt and a liability waiver. And yet it’s one of the gentlest, most “baby, breathe” strains on the shelf. Welcome to AK‑47. The flower that sounds like a felony but feels like a weighted blanket.
AK‑47. A strain named like it wants to fight me in the parking lot of a Waffle House at 3 a.m. But it actually hits like a soft‑spoken librarian who just wants you to hydrate and stop overthinking your entire existence. If trauma had a dimmer switch, this strain would be the one gently turning it down while whispering, “Hush now, baby, we’re not doing all that today.” It walked in like a cousin who wasn’t invited to the cookout but somehow brought the best potato salad. You know the one that is loud, chaotic, but beloved.
This strain is the botanical equivalent of a blended family that somehow gets along at Thanksgiving. It was created in the early 1990s by Serious Seeds, a Dutch seed company known for being meticulous, scientific, and just a little bit dramatic in the best way. The breeders wanted something uplifting, balanced, and reliable. And a strain that could hit the sweet spot between clarity and calm. So, they pulled genetics from all over the world like they were assembling the Avengers.
The breeders said the name came from its “one‑hit knockout” reputation. And not because it’s harsh or overwhelming, but because it delivers fast, noticeable effects with surprising smoothness. Like a gentle slap from someone who loves you. It’s one of the earliest successful multi‑continental hybrids. It helped define the modern hybrid era in the 90s. It became a competition darling, winning over a dozen awards. And its genetics influenced countless strains that came after it. AK‑47 is basically the Beyoncé of early hybrid breeding. It’s influential, consistent, and still relevant decades later. It tastes like a plant that’s been through things but came out wiser.
Top terpenes in this strain are Myrcene, Limonene, Caryophyllene, and Ocimene. Patients report relief from stress, anxiety, mild depression, focus & mental clarity, muscle tension, mild chronic pain, headaches, and social anxiety.
And that is AK‑47. The strain that sounds like a felony but behaves like a weighted blanket with a college degree. If you need me, I’ll be over here floating three inches above the couch cushions, contemplating absolutely nothing of importance while pretending I’m productive because my eyes are open. May your bowl be full, your peace be protected, and your group chats stay quiet. And remember: If anyone asks why you’re this calm, just tell them you’re practicing “radical Southern stillness.” Now go forth and inhale responsibly, you magnificent chaotic angel.
Please keep in mind that each grow will be different and the flower’s effects will differ depending on which region of the country that the plant is grown. Thanks for reading! Keep blazin.’
Affirmation: “I honor my mind, even on the days it feels like it’s doing donuts in a parking lot. I am still here, still steady, and still worthy of calm.”
“Zero Gravity is that sacred moment when your spirit unhooks from the chaos and remembers how light it was meant to feel.”
-This Puzzled Life
Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy, go away. Today we’re talking about a strain that doesn’t just relax you. It elevates you. Zero Gravity is the cannabis equivalent of unhooking your bra, kicking off your shoes, and floating three inches above your own problems. It’s the strain you reach for when the world has been loud, messy, and entirely too people-forward. Zero Gravity doesn’t argue with you. It doesn’t negotiate. It simply says, “Baby, let’s rise.”
T.H. Seeds developed Zero Gravity, and its lineage traces back to the late 1990s. The mother strain, Gravity, began appearing in Amsterdam around 1999, distributed in small batches by legendary breeders Neville and Shanti Baba from Mr. Nice Seeds. Gravity was originally created for Sensi Seeds and traveled globally before returning to Amsterdam, where T.H. Seeds crossed it with a landrace Afghan indica to produce Zero Gravity.
To achieve that, they reached back into the old-school vault and pulled out two legends Hash Plant x Northern Lights #5. Hash plant is a cross between Afghani Landrace x Northern Lights #1. Northern Lights #5 is a cross between Afghani landrace x Hawaiian (Sativa). While the exact release date of Zero Gravity isn’t pinned to a single year, its roots stretch back to the early 2000s. Its genetic journey beginning in the late ’90s. Making it a strain with deep, globe-trotting heritage and a reputation for cosmic calm.
When these two came together, Zero Gravity was born. It’s a strain that quickly gained traction in medical markets for its ability to quiet the mind without knocking you out. Patients loved it. Budtenders recommended it. And soon enough, recreational consumers discovered it and said, “Oh, this is the one for when I want to float, not fold.” Over time, Zero Gravity became a cult favorite. The strain for people who want to feel weightless without losing themselves.
Top terpenes for this strain are Myrcene, Caryophyllene, and Limonene. Patients report relief from stress, anxiety, chronic pain, muscle tension, insomnia, and mood elevation. It’s the strain for when your brain needs a timeout and your body needs a hug. It’s the strain that reminds you that you don’t have to carry everything. You can float. You can rest. You can unplug from the noise and drift somewhere softer.It’s not just a high. It’s a reprieve. A moment of weightlessness in a world that loves to pull you down.
Zero Gravity isn’t just a strain. It’s a permission slip. A cosmic hall pass. A reminder that you don’t have to stay tethered to every worry, every expectation, every loud voice trying to rent space in your head. It doesn’t demand productivity. It doesn’t ask for performance. It simply offers peace. The kind that wraps around your body like a warm quilt and whispers, “You’re safe now.”Whether you’re healing, hiding, or just trying to make it through the day without cussing someone out at Dollar General, Zero Gravity is here to lift you. Not to escape. But to remember what it feels like to float.
Please keep in mind that each grow will be different and the flower’s effects will differ depending on which region of the country that the plant is grown. Thanks for reading! Keep blazin.’
Affirmation: I release the weight I was never meant to carry, and I rise soft, steady, and unbothered.
“My cats said CBD won’t get me high. But it will keep me from acting like a Walmart parking lot Greek tragedy. And honestly, that feels like growth.”
-This Puzzled Life
Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Let the ancestors lean in the doorway with their arms crossed. The moment that smoke hit the ceiling fan, my household convened an emergency session of the Feline Administration to discuss CBD Awareness Month. And the cats had notes.
Piper, Coco, and Tinkerbell marched in like three county commissioners who did not read the briefing packet. But absolutely intend to argue about it. Piper arrived first. She’s was dragging a legal pad she stole from my desk. She hopped onto the coffee table. Cleared her throat and announced, “CBD Awareness Month is important because humans are stressed, chaotic, and prone to hollering at inanimate objects. We must intervene.”
Coco strutted in next. And late on purpose. She believes time is a social construct. And also because she was busy knocking something off a shelf. She plopped down. Tail flicking and said, “CBD is fine. But why do y’all keep buying the expensive treats and then acting surprised when I eat the whole bag?”
Tinkerbell arrived last with the energy of a Southern auntie who already decided the meeting was foolish. But came for the snacks. She sat like a sphinx and declared, “CBD is the plant spirit that keeps y’all from crying in the Walmart parking lot. We support it.”
The Cats’ Official CBD Purposes
According to the Feline Administration, CBD has three sacred functions.
Stress & anxiety relief-“Because y’all vibrate like a microwave on popcorn mode.”
Chaos reduction-“In theory, though, I’ve seen no evidence.”
Increased compliance with feline demands- Tinkerbell insists this is scientifically proven by staring at me until I give her treats.
Then they expanded the list like they were reading off a menu.
Calms the humans-“Because y’all vibrate like a cheap motel air conditioner.”
Inflammation & pain-“Your knees sound like a haunted rocking chair.”
Sleep support-“You need it. We need you to need it.”
Mood regulation-“You get dramatic,” all three say in unison.
General human foolishness-“Self-explanatory.”
They also want it noted that CBD helps humans stop doom scrolling. Stop overthinking texts. Stop reorganizing the pantry at 3 a.m. and stop crying at dog food commercials. It gives you the ability to forgive yourself for eating an entire sleeve of cookies. And the mystical moment when you realize you are the drama. But also the solution.
Piper hopped onto the table with a binder labeled CBD: A Non‑Psychoactive Situation. Coco dragged in a whiteboard she absolutely cannot read. Tinkerbell arrived late again, ready to deliver a TED Talk titled Calm Down, Human: The Plant Is Legal Now.
Piper began: “CBD is federally legal as long as it comes from hemp and contains less than 0.3% THC. Which means, human, you can stop whispering like you’re buying contraband behind the Piggly Wiggly.”
Coco: “It does not alter your mind. It alters your attitude. And frankly, we support that.”
Tinkerbell: “It’s non‑psychoactive. Which means you’re not getting high. You’re getting functional. You’re getting emotionally moisturized. You’re getting less likely to cry over a dropped chicken nugget.”
The Guidelines (Because Apparently I Needed Rules)
Piper, now self‑appointed Director of Human Regulation, laid out the official policies.
Do not give CBD to cats without a vet’s approval. “We are perfect as‑is.”
Humans should use CBD responsibly. “Meaning don’t take it and then try to assemble furniture.”
CBD is not a personality trait. Tinkerbell says this while staring directly at me.
If CBD helps you chill, hydrate, and mind your business, the cats approve. Especially the “mind your business” part.
Then they sat me down like I was on trial.
Piper said, “We’ve observed the pacing. The muttering. The dramatic sighing. And the emotional support snacks. Clearly, CBD awareness is overdue.”
Coco added, “And while we support your journey, we would also like to know why you get the calming treats and we get vibes.”
Tinkerbell stared at me unblinking, like she was reading my aura and finding overdue library books in it. She then hopped onto the altar (my coffee table). Placed one paw on my forehead, and proclaimed:
“May your joints be loose. Your sleep be deep. Your snacks be plentiful. And your spirit be unbothered. May CBD soften your edges but not your boundaries. And may you never, ever forget to refill the treat jar.”
The sage crackled. The ancestors nodded. And the cats declared CBD Awareness Month officially adjourned. Piper knocked over a plant. Coco demanded lunch. Tinkerbell stole my pen. The plant is innocent. The human is the problem. Thanks for reading! Keep medicating.
Affirmation: “I am calm, collected, and legally compliant. I soften my edges, not my boundaries, and I do it with the confidence of a cat who just knocked something over on purpose.”
“The plant teaches patience, presence, and perspective.”
-Unknown
Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. Today, I want to tell you about a strain that is all about St. Patty’s Day. And it is called Leprechaun Larry.
Leprechaun Larry is sativa-dominant hybrid. It is a cross between Larry OG x Green Crack. Larry OG is a cross between OG Kush x SFV OG (San Fernando Valley OG). Green Crack is a cross between Skunk #1 x Afghani genetics. The taste profile consists of citrus peel, sweet herbs, and pine. This is a strain’s taste profile is one that I have a difficult time of differentiating.
The top terpenes in this strain are Limonene, Terpinolene, and Pinene. Patients report experiencing better focus and creativity. And less stress, depression, mood swings, chronic fatigue, and ADD/ADHD. Make sure that you’re in a stable place with your anxiety before using this strain. Because it will definitely give you some pep in your step or a panic attack. Please keep in mind that each grow will be different and the flower effects, terpenes and genetics will differ depending on which region of the country that the plant is grown. Thanks for reading! Keep blazin.’
Affirmation: In this moment, I am safe, grounded, and enough.
Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. Today, I want to tell you about a strain that is good for the time of year where we all begin enjoy the warm sun. This strain is called Suncake.
Suncake is a 60/40 indica-dominant hybrid. It is a cross between Sunset Sherbet x Wedding Cake. Sunset Sherbet is a cross between Girl Scout Cookies x Pink Panties. Wedding Cake is a cross between Triangle Kush x Animal Mints. It’s flavoring consists of a sweet, creamy, berry, vanilla cake, and tropical citrus. However, I just identified light citrus notes.
Top terpenes in this strain are Limonene, Caryophyllene, and Linalool. Patients report relief from conditions such as insomnia, chronic pain, appetite loss, nausea, chronic stress, depression, and mood swings. This strain I would call an easy and slightly indica dominant strain. Yes, you can use this during the day as long as you’re an experienced indica smoker. Novice smokers might enjoy this one better as night. Either way, it does not act real indica. The effects feel much more like a balanced hybrid with a nice elevation in mood.
Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. In keeping with the self-harm awareness color orange, I want to tell you about a strain called Tangerine Dream.
Tangerine Dream is a sativa-dominant hybrid that is a cross between G13 x Afghani x Neville’s A5 Haze. G13 exact parent strains are unknown. But we do know that it’s a 70/30 indica-dominant. Afghani is a landrace strain that is a pure indica. Haze is a blend of four landrace strain that are Mexican, Colombian, South Indian, and Thai stative strains.
Top terpenes in this strain are Myrcene, Caryophyllene, and Limonene. Patients report relief from arthritis, chronic pain, depression, fatigue, headaches, inflammation, insomnia, loss of appetite, migraines, and stress. The taste is definitely a sweet and fruity flavor. As with any sativa-dominant strain be aware that if you have a problem with anxiety, it can increase an already miserable anxiety situation. I have a lot of anxiety, and I always take it easy with these kinds of strains until I know how it will affect me. This strain isn’t as potent as Green Crack. Just don’t go crazy “hot boxing.” Thanks for reading! Keep blazin.’
Affirmation: I consume with intention and gratitude for the experience.
“I think people need to be educated to the fact that marijuana is not a drug. Marijuana is a flower. God put it here.”
-Willie Nelson
Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. Today, I want to tell you about a beautiful strain called The Bridge by Apotha.
I couldn’t find a lot of information about this strain. However, I’m going to give you what I did find. The Bridge is a 50/50 hybrid cross between Street Guru x 1987. Now let’s dive a little deeper. Street Guru is a cross between Gushmintz x Oooze. And 1987 is across between (Fort Collins Cough x Super Silver Sour Diesel) x ( Kali Mist x Super Silver Sour Diesel). Good gracious that’s a lot of genetic material! The flavors include sweet, fruity berry flavors with a little bit of hazy and a dash of spicy notes. The assortment of flavors resembles a party in your mouth.
The top terpenes include B-Caryophyllene, Limonene, and Terpinolene (good as an antiseptic, antifungal, antibacterial). The medical benefits in this strain includes relief from chronic stress, chronic fatigue, depression, mood swings, ADD or ADHD, headaches, and migraines. Let me just say that this balanced hybrid is an experience that you will never forget. And I promise that it’s one that would be perfect for amateur and experienced smokers. You can smoke it throughout the day and not worry about the hard core “couch lock.” Thanks for reading! Keep blazin.’
“If weed puns are a sin, then I’ll see you inhale.”
-Unknown
Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. Today, I want to talk to you about the strain known as Apple Banana Bread. And this time of the year a freshly baked bread sounds pretty good.
Apple Banana Bread is an indica-dominant strain. The genetics include Platinum Cookies x Grandaddy Purple x Blue Power x Gelatti. And this might be one of my new favorite strains. Let’s look at the diverse genetic line a little closer. Platinum Cookies is a cross between OG Kush x Durban Poison. Grandaddy Purple is a cross between Mendo Purps x Skunk x Afghanistan. Blue Power is a 4-way cross between Sour Double x Master Kush x The White x Blue Moonshine. Gelatti is a cross between Gelato x OG Biscotti. What a truly beautiful genetic line. No wonder I love this strain.
On inhale the first taste is something very sweet and somewhat floral. The dominant terpenes in this strain are Pinene, Caryophyllene and Myrcene. The medical benefits include relief from stress, anxiety, pain, mood, appetite, and sleep. This strain has some truly hard-core munchies that hit with gusto. It’s not so strong that it will give you “couch lock.” It feels a lot like blue dream with more indica.
I highly suggest this strain as an everyday use. It can be used on a lunch break if used in moderation. And for nighttime use, it works good enough to send you gently into dreamland. The only thing that would be better would be a concentrate in this strain. And I am headed out to look for it. Thanks for reading! Keep blazin.’
Affirmation: I make health choices when it comes to weed.
Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy, go away. Welcome again! Today, I want to review a strain known as Polar Plunge. I thought that while we are in a cooler season of the year, I would pick one to reflect that.
Polar Plunge is an interesting strain. Parent strains are a cross between Early Riser x Ice Box Pie. Early Riser is a 50/50 hybrid. However, the exact lineage is unknown. Ice Box Pie is a 70/30 indica-dominant hybrid. The genetics are a cross between Wedding Cake x Freeworld Chem. This strain has a little more sativa than what I like. However, it’s not too much to induce anxiety. Thank you, indicas.
Patients report relief from depression, nausea, stress, mood swings, chronic fatigue, and pain relief. This strain would be a good one for lunch break. It feels like a good balance. If you are sensitive to sativas, make sure and use in moderation. The terpene profile for these strains are B-Caryophyllene, a-Humulene, B-Myrcene. THC percentage is about mid-range. Thanks for reading. Keep blazin’.
This Puzzled Life 