This Puzzled Life is a mental health and recovery blog exploring addiction, trauma healing, LGBTQ experiences, humor, and the strange moments that shape us.
“Leadership isn’t about explosions, ego, or firing everyone who disagrees. It’s about protecting the people you’re responsible for.”
-This Puzzled Life
Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Grab the ancestors. Every ancestor from the Delta to the foothills is gathering around the fire pit. And clutching their pearls whispering, “Lord, this fool again?”
Secretary Pete Hegseth is a man who has turned the Pentagon into a haunted Waffle House with missiles. He is also known as “Secretary of Cirrhosis,” “Pete Kegsbreath,” “Whiskey Pete,” “Colonel Vodka,” and “Secretary of Jägermeister.” He has once again turned the Department of Defense into a demolition derby run by a man who thinks leadership is just yelling “send it” at a map he can’t read. And firing anyone who doesn’t look like his reflection.
This is the saga of a man who wakes up every morning. Salutes himself. Flexes in the mirror. And then proceeds to commit international incidents so stupid they make raccoons look like Nobel Prize winners. Let’s dive into all of his stupidity.
Firing Gay and Trans Soldiers
Pete strutted into the Pentagon and declared, “We’re restoring traditional values.” While also having affairs and paying off women to keep their mouths shut.
Translation: he fired gay soldiers, trans soldiers, and anyone who dared to have a personality. The ancestors collectively rolled their eyes so hard they sprained a spiritual muscle.
Disenfranchising Black Soldiers
Then he decided Black soldiers were “too political.” Which is rich coming from a man whose entire personality is a protein shake and a conspiracy theory.
He stripped them of roles, promotions, and dignity. And then acted confused when morale dropped faster than his approval rating.
Getting Rid of Female Service Members
Pete claimed female service members were “a distraction.” Which is hilarious because the only distraction in the Pentagon is Pete himself. He’s wandering around shirtless. Flexing. And mispronouncing countries.
He fired women left and right. Then wondered why the military suddenly had the emotional maturity of a middle school dodgeball team.
The USS Abraham Lincoln Horror Show
And then came the USS Abraham Lincoln scandal. Soldiers and their families reported horrific conditions that included:
Mold in the sleeping quarters
Sewage leaks
No working AC
Food that looked like it had already given up
Rats bold enough to request rank
Pete ignored every report. He said the ship was “fine.” He said the soldiers were “dramatic.” He said the rats were “part of the ecosystem.” The ancestors started lighting sage like it was a bonfire.
The Fishing Boat Fiasco
Pete claimed fishermen were trafficking drugs. They were literally just fishing. For fish. Not cocaine catfish. Not heroin haddock. Just fish. He bombed them anyway.
Bombing a School of 160 Girls
Pete pointed at a satellite photo and said, “That’s a terrorist camp.” It was a school. A school full of 160 girls learning math, science, and how to survive men like Pete.
Bombing a Wedding Ceremony
He later approved a drone strike on what he believed was “an enemy gathering.” It was a wedding. A wedding with a string quartet, a chocolate fountain, and a very confused officiant.
The Unlawful War in Iran
Pete misread a meme and declared war on Iran. Congress said no. The Pentagon said no. Pete said, “Too late, I already tweeted it.”
10 Crimes Committed by Secretary Pete Hegseth
Bombing innocent fishermen who were literally just vibing.
Bombing a school of 160 girls learning multiplication.
Bombing a wedding because he thought the string quartet looked suspicious.
Launching an unlawful war in Iran because he misread a meme.
Firing gay soldiers for existing.
Firing trans soldiers for breathing.
Disenfranchising Black soldiers for having opinions.
Removing female service members because he’s threatened by competence.
Ignoring horrific conditions on the USS Abraham Lincoln.
Declaring martial law in a Waffle House parking lot “for training purposes.”
The ancestors are now chain‑smoking imaginary cigarettes.
And there you have it. The tragic, comedic, catastrophic tale of Secretary Pete Hegseth. A man who proves daily that power in the wrong hands isn’t just dangerous. It’s slapstick tragedy. He is not a leader. He is not a strategist. He is a walking, talking cautionary tale wrapped in ego, chaos, and the belief that consequences are for other people. And after all of that, I would be an alcoholic too. Mic dropped. Floor cracked. Ancestors nodding in exhausted agreement. Thanks for reading! Get out and vote.
Affirmation: I release chaos. Embrace clarity. And refuse to let anyone with a title and a temper ruin my peace.
“Corruption doesn’t need brilliance. Just a man bold enough to lie with confidence.”
-This Puzzled Life
Light the charcoal. Grab the ancestors again. Because today we’re writing one unified, unhinged, fully roast‑blog about the most catastrophically incompetent Treasury leader ever to grace a swivel chair. His name is Scott “Member of the Closetocracy” Bessant. And we’re stitching in the employee diary so tight the ancestors themselves are flipping through it like it’s a family Bible. Settle in.
The ancestors are already pacing barefoot in the yard. Clutching sweet tea and muttering, “Lord, this boy ain’t right.” The Treasury Secretary has turned America’s finances into a haunted carnival ride. That is powered by lies, coverups, and the kind of corruption that makes calculators file HR complaints. This man walked into the Treasury Department like he was entering a casino he already owed money to. He came equipped with a briefcase full of lies. A moral compass that points directly to embezzlement. A smile that says, “I definitely deleted the wrong email on purpose.” And a leadership style best described as “raccoon in a bank vault” The ancestors have lit the sage. The interns have hidden the staplers. The diary has been opened. Let’s begin.
Scott Bessant has turned the Treasury Department into a Dollar Store clearance bin of chaos. His financial policies rattle when you shake them. His press conferences contradict themselves before he finishes the first sentence. His scandals are alphabetically organized. And we still ran out of alphabet.
He once said, “We’re financially stable.” While standing in front of a spreadsheet that looked like a heart monitor flatlining. He tried to explain inflation using a sock puppet named “Fiscal Freddy.” He once told reporters, “The missing funds will turn up.” As if billions of dollars are a set of car keys he misplaced in a couch cushion. Maybe JD Vance will find it there. And now we reveal the diary.
These entries were written in the margins of government notebooks. Smudged with tears and coffee. And the quiet despair of someone who has watched Scott Bessant try to explain basic math.
Day 12: Scott held a meeting to “clarify the budget.” He brought a whiteboard with the words: “Step 1: vibes. Step 2: trust me.” I have updated my résumé.
Day 27: He told us the missing gold bars were “on loan.” To whom? He winked. I cried.
Day 41: Scott introduced a new financial policy called “Money Momentum.” It’s just… gambling. He made us clap.
Day 63: He asked if we could “round down the national debt.” I asked if he meant mathematically or spiritually. He said, “Yes.”
Day 78: He hosted a mandatory team-building exercise called “Find the Fraud.” It was him. He was the fraud.
Day 102: He announced a new transparency initiative. Then he turned off all the lights and whispered, “Now no one can see the numbers.”
Day 119: He started a Treasury TikTok series called “Budget Daddy.” I have submitted my resignation.
Day 140: He tried to “manifest financial stability.” He lit incense. The fire alarm went off.
Day 167: He declared himself “The People’s Accountant.” The people did not ask for this.
Day 200: He tried to pay for lunch with a commemorative coin. The cashier refused. He said, “This is why the economy is failing.” I whispered, “No, sir. You are.”
10 Things That Made Scott Bessant the Bandit a Corruption Hall-of-Famer
The $4 Billion Disappearing Act He said it “evaporated.” Sir, money is not steam.
The Propaganda PowerPoints He spent millions on slides that said “Everything is fine” in Comic Sans.
The Fake Audit He hired a magician. A literal magician.
The Gold Bar “Samples” Samples of what, Scott?
The Treasury TikTok Debacle He made interns film him juggling staplers while saying, “Watch me balance this budget.”
The Cayman Islands “Business Trip” He returned with a tan and a suspicious necklace.
The Emergency Budget Meeting He showed up with a whiteboard that said: “Step 1: Panic. Step 2: Blame Janet.”
The National Debt Raffle First prize: Lunch with Scott. No one entered.
The Coverup Coverup He lied about lying about lying. A corruption turducken.
The Treasury Escape Room He locked reporters inside until they “understood economics.” They emerged traumatized.
And that is the full saga of Scott Bessant. The U.S. Treasury leader who turned the nation’s finances into a haunted carnival ride. He is the human equivalent of a bounced check. The spiritual embodiment of a malfunctioning calculator. The reason the ancestors keep muttering, “Put that boy in a time-out.” His legacy will be remembered as a treasury held together with duct tape. A budget written in crayon. A department powered by caffeine, prayer, and denial. And after all of that, I would stay in the closet also. Mic dropped. Floor cracked. Ancestors nodding. Diary closed. Treasury still smoking. Thanks for reading! Vote these fools out!
Affirmation: I rise above chaos. See through manipulation. And refuse to bow to fools with power.
“There are no kings in America. Only gilded me we can topple again and again.”
-Aileen Cassinetto
Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. Today, I want to talk to you about our country for a moment. I don’t usually write much about politics on my blog. Social media is quite different. However, we are currently experiencing unprecedented times. Which is causing so much collateral damage that it could take several presidents to undo what is being done if that is even possible.
When my boys come to visit we always talk about current things like school, everyday life, personal wants, “would you rather” and the current political environment. And to be honest, I never thought I would have to explain basic human rights and how those are egregiously being destroyed. And now the decisions of a lot of Americans have put in power a want to be dictator.
I wrote a blog this past month that recently posted about how good we have it in our country. And now I must retract that statement by tell you that the United States of America, the threat to democracy and the very essence of our lives are now being tailored for a fascist society. And the “American Spirit,” which is not a person, is being made a mockery of the founding fathers’ original intentions. Let me break it down.
Our Foundational Ideas
· Liberty and Independence: The freedom to think, speak, and act as one chooses without infringing on the rights of others.
· Self-government: The belief that citizens are the ultimate source of authority and have the right to participate in the political process.
· Equality: The idea that all people are created equal and deserve fair treatment, respect, and dignity, with equal opportunities for success.
· Individualism: The belief that individuals are in control of their own destinies and can achieve self-sufficiency and independence through their own initiative (https:study.com, 2025).
Aspirations of the American Dream
· The promise of opportunity: Anyone can achieve success through sacrifice, risk-taking, and hard work.
· Upward social mobility: The change for individuals to attain a better life than their parents.
· A “democracy of goods”: The notion that everyone should have access to material comfort and goods, a vision popularized in the 20th century (https://www.wikipedia.org, 2025).
I now must again explain to my children how racism, at its core, is just wrong in every way. And how the example of the highest position, in our once revered democracy is being dismantled one freedom and one right at a time. And how if someone disagrees with someone’s way of life, you must not fear and/or hate them. I have instructed my children from day one that people and families are unique individually. And just because of their uniqueness, it doesn’t mean that they are wrong. I don’t care about your skin color, religious affiliation, political affiliation, sexual orientation, ethnic background, or gender identity. However, what I don’t like are bullies. And currently we have a bully in power.
I don’t hate no matter how far left or far right you are on the spectrum. But the idea of hating and inciting violence against someone because they are different is not ok. Do I like people like Charlie Kirk? Hell no. Do I think that he deserved to be murdered based on his views, regardless of whether I agreed with him or the fact that he was a racist and a homophobe, never. But when your whole premise of the stage that you voluntarily inject yourself onto is about treating those you disagree with by tearing them down, bad things are bound to happen. And when political views and votes are more important than lives of our citizens and our beautiful immigrants, our tears begin to fall.
When the president of the United States who has 34 felony convictions, and whose best friends were the vilest child sex trafficker and rapists this country has ever seen, while also having the support of others, it must be discussed and stopped. Jeffery Epstein and Ghislane Maxwell were convicted of some of the most horrible crimes against children. And it has been confirmed that Donald Trump’s name, as well as many others, were also listed in the Epstein files.
As a parent and someone who was also preyed upon by those in power, the only logical decision of our government should be to release the unredacted files and have total transparency. This shouldn’t be a tall order. I see a lot of people online who voted for Donald talking about how evil Jefferey Epstein was. And how pedophiles should be held accountable, unless you talk about the high probability that Donald Trump is also connected to said crimes.
I have never seen so many lies and an obvious cover up by the United States government in my life. I don’t care whose names, whether they be democrats, republicans, independents or royalty, are on the list. They should all be held accountable. And for some of us, whose perpetrators were never held accountable, this is a national symbol of that fight for justice. And just maybe the bad guys get caught in the end and have to pay for their actions that have ruined upwards of a thousand children’s lives.
When you are forced into something as horrific as sexual abuse, your life is forever changed. You will never view the world as “safe” again. You will never look at the average person the same again. And the most intimate part of a person’s life and body are forever damaged. The lies and manipulation that one has to possess to accomplish these acts are more than I can comprehend.
It is my hope and prayer that whoever has taken part in actions consistent with pedophilia, rape and/or the coverup of these crimes will see the day when they are forced to be accountable for everything that they have turned a “blind eye” to. I shouldn’t have to explain why blatant actions have been and continue to be ignored. I shouldn’t have to explain how and why our, once thriving and beautifully diverse country has systematically been sent down the tubes. And is also being controlled by a Russian dictator who is training our orange, “want to be dictator” in the ways of murdering democracy.
My children shouldn’t have to witness and be explained the purpose of “Alligator Alcatraz.” And how funny it is to the hard core “Triple Trumpers” MAGA movement. The only thing consistent are lies, deceit and the many times of the crashing of Grindr by down low politicians. Who are angry because they are scared of authenticity. I shouldn’t have to explain why our country is ok with standing by someone like Benjamin Netanyahu and watching as the genocide in Gaza continues. I shouldn’t have to explain why Vladamir Putin is allowed to continue with the horrific attacks on the people of Ukraine. I shouldn’t have to explain why a dictator across the pond poisons those that don’t agree with them. But here we are.
What I do have to explain are the constant sacrifices of our military service members, who many have laid down their lives for generations, in an effort to make sure that we retain those inalienable rights of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. And how and why the Declaration of Independence and our Constitution was formed. Even though the president of our country clearly knows nothing about said rights which was caught on camera many times. Why “No Kings Day” protests are so important. And how our once love for the “freedom of speech” is being allowed to now be censored.
With tears in my eyes, again, I write this. And the grief of my soul as I watch the sometimes-comical players in this mockery of a democratic government, keeps me up at night. And a lot of times, I laugh to keep from crying. But the videos of children and adults being starved to death is not something that we are accustomed to witnessing. I don’t believe that those who take away the rights of others should have rights of their own.
The tensions in this country of the blatant abuse of power by turning the military on our citizens is uncalled for and scary. And the depths of these fears, I do my best to shield my children from seeing. But they are not dumb. They ask questions and I try to explain them on an age-appropriate level.
I enjoy watching and posting the satire of some of these views. But make no mistake, I will constantly keep at the forefront of our conversations about the importance of such figures in the civil rights movement, Nazi Germany, the extermination of the Jews in concentration camps and the importance of the Stonewall riots. And now, I must explain to them modern day concentration camps disguised as being something “good” for the American public.
People, life as we knew it is disappearing at a rapid rate. It is time for us as Americans to grow a spine and make a peaceful stand against tyranny. And this means doing “your part” in whatever way that looks. No longer is it ok to remain “neutral” as “neutrality” is now a vote for tyranny. You can make a choice to be red, blue or any color of the rainbow. And remember that staying neutral is also a choice. Our country is a collection of diverse groups of people, races, ethnicities, and religions creating One America. The colors that matter the most are the ones who are red, white, and blue.
Thanks for reading! And I hope that you, not only as an American, will stand up for what’s right instead of staying silent to what’s wrong. To our allies across the pond and abroad, your voices also matter. And I personally thank each and every one of you for not allowing the Epstein scandal to go unnoticed. Keep standing for freedom my fellow Americans as will I. And to our diligent immigrants, I will continue to do my part to fight for your right to live the American Dream that most of us took for granted. Thanks for your attention to this matter.
Affirmation: I embrace the opportunities and freedoms in the United States to build the life I deserve.
