This Puzzled Life is a mental health and recovery blog exploring addiction, trauma healing, LGBTQ experiences, humor, and the strange moments that shape us.
“Two wrongs don’t make a right, but two joints made my night.”
-Unknown
Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. Okie dokie! Today, I’m going to review strains that go along with Pride. Since I’m a lesbian, it wouldn’t be nice of me not to mention the part of the parade that I enjoy watching. It’s the “Dykes On Bikes” portion of the parade where some of the most masculine lesbians ride through on their motorcycles. And I assure you that your fragile masculinity could be smashed by some of these ladies. “Lady Lesbians Of The Bikes” I honor you with the cannabis strain with the Blues Brothers’s Label: Motorbreath.
This greasy, yet sexy, hybrid strain was actually named from a song called Motorbreath on Metallica’s 1983 album Kill’Em All. The diesel taste feels like it would be better suited on their Garage Days album. Anyway, what a pleasant surprise to find out those origins that lead back to my favorite heavy metal band of all time, Metallica. The nostalgia of this entire product just floods me with so many good memories. Because the taste will take you back, while the effects wrap you up.
Jim Belushi and Dan Aykroyd actually own Blues Brothers brand. John Belushi was a comedian and actor who traveled with Dan Aykroyd and performed as Jake and Elwood Blues. John Belush eventually died of a drug overdose. And his brother has been building a cannabis business in his honor. Jim Belushi stated in his reality program Belushi Farms, “Had my brother had access to medical cannabis, he would still be alive.”
This strain while definitely “stinky,” with some diesel fumes isn’t as heavy as the GMO strain. And it is ever since of the word “hybrid.” It feels like a sativa until the gassy, indica back end catches you. The strain has a lineage of Chemdog and SFV OG KUSH (San Fernando Valley). This would be a good strain for a lunch break if you can tolerate the indica effects. It’s used for chronic pain and stress. I think that it’s a strain for beginner or moderate users. And more of a “chill” strain for us experienced users. However, at 28.4% THC it won’t take long before it disables you for your entire lunch break. An Absolutely great hybrid in my book. The terpene profile is Caryophyllene, Myrcene and Limonene. This indica-dominant hybrid is definitely 4.25 out of 5 on the rating scale. A uniquely beautiful strain that will help many people no matter where on the continuum you reside. Way to go Blues Brothers!
“Dykes On Bikes” comeback you forgot your diesel! Happy Pride, everyone!
Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. Are you wondering what’s the big deal with Kratom? You may not even know what Kratom is. Today, I will tell you why there’s so many things in the news about upcoming legislation.
Kratom is pronounced (Cray-tom)Kratom is a tree native to Southeast Asia. The ground leaves, when consumed in low doses, acts as a stimulant. And in high doses function as a sedative and can lead to psychotic symptoms and both psychological and physical dependence. Kratom contains two major psychoactive ingredients mitragynine and 7-hydroxymytragynine. The leaves are powdered and can then be smoked, brewed with tea, gel capsules or mixed into a liquid. Or the leaves can be chewed. It can also lead to addiction.
There have been several cases of psychosis and symptoms including hallucinations, delusion and confusion upon use. The effects on the body include nausea, itching, sweating, dry mouth, constipation, increased urination, tachycardia, vomiting, drowsiness and loss of appetite. Users have also experienced anorexia, weight loss, insomnia, hepatoxicity, seizure and hallucinations (getsmartaboutdrugs.gov, 2024).
I used Kratom for a while to help with chronic pain. And I have to admit that it helped. When I used it, I would mix a spoonful into some orange juice and drink it. The taste is extremely bitter. And overall, I just didn’t like the way that it made me feel. I never became addicted to this substance. I can understand why people can become addicted to it. All you have to do is look at the list of side effects to realize that those same type of signs and symptoms are related to opiate use. And some people believe that Kratom is, in fact, an opiate needing some type of legislation.
Kratom supporters argue that it is helpful for chronic pain and opiate addicts. And I personally can’t deny those facts. And with it also being a plant, some people argue that it’s safe like cannabis. It is not. Kratom can actually lead to overdose death. Cannabis has yet to have a casualty. I don’t think that it’s completely horrible. I do think that it’s a substance that needs to be used with caution. And I also don’t believe that minors should be allowed to buy it legally. Kids just don’t use it in moderation and always look to just get high. And there have been deaths associated with its use.
There are several countries that have also banned the possession and use of kratom. These countries include:
As with most substances like this, the FDA does not approve of it. And unlike cannabis, there are no safety measures that have been set in place for regulation. There is no testing of the product to identify pesticides, molds or any cutting substances. Therefore, you have absolutely no idea what has been mixed in with this plant. And for this reason, I agree that that testing should be required prior to the sale.
The DEA currently has Kratom listed as a “drug of concern.” And it will be scheduled under the Substance Abuse Act. The DEA also stated that they will seek to list Kratom as a Schedule 1 drug which has a high potential for abuse and no currently accepted medical use. And a lack of accepted safety for use under medical supervision (dea.gov, 2016) Currently, individual states have launched their own legislation regarding this substance.
The Six states that have already banned kratom are: Alabama, Arkansas, Indiana, Rhode Island, Vermont and Wisconsin. Other states have enacted legislation about minimum age requirements like nicotine and alcohol. The safest thing to do is to read about the risks involved and make your own decision. And check current legislation in your state for its legal status. Be careful if you have a history of addiction.
If you have minor teens or children, do not let them take this substance. This should only be allowed for adults. Enjoy it while you can. Because this is another substance that will eventually be banned throughout the country. Where it might have been initially used legitimately for years, the substance has proven to be deadly on all fronts. Thanks for reading! Take what you can and leave the rest.
Affirmation: You are stronger than your temptation.
“As a part of a balanced breakfast on 4/20, don’t forget to eat your Weedies!”
-Unknown
Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. Okie dokie! Hello, everyone and Happy 420! It’s National Smokeout Day! I’m blazing this fine morning. What about you? This is the second best day of the year for me. Today, I want to tell you about the legend of 4/20.
In 1971, five students in San Rafael, California who went to San Rafael High School coined the term as part of the search for an abandoned cannabis crop. It was based on a treasure map made by the grower. And They called themselves the Waldos because their designated hang-out spot was a wall outside of the school. And 4:20 pm was the meeting time. There were several failed attempts to find the crop. But the phrase evolved into a code word that the teens referred to for smoking cannabis.
In 1991 High Times Magazine reported that the term “420” referred to a police code which supposedly identified that they had spotted an individual or individuals smoking marijuana. However, this was an incorrect version of where the legend originated. In 1998, there was another story that stated that “Waldo” Reddis became a roadie for the Grateful Dead, in which, 4:20 pm was yet also designated time for smoking marijuana.
4/20 has become an international cannabis culture holiday. It is actually considered half celebration and half call to action. And global movements like this cannot be stopped. Users protest in civil disobedience by gathering in public to smoke at 4:20 pm. As cannabis continues to be decriminalized and legalized worldwide, a cannabis activist Steve DeAngelo states “even if our activists work were complete, 420 morphs from a statement of conscience to a celebration of victory, a celebration of our amazing connection with this plant” which “will always be worthy of celebration.”
In North America major observances have been held at locations that include:
New York City: Washington Square Park (Manhattan)
Boston: Boston Common
San Francisco: “Hippie Hill” in Golden Gate Park
Santa Cruz: Porter College at University of California, Santa Cruz
Washington, D.C.: National Mall, United States Capitol
Vancouver: The Vancouver Art Gallery and Sunset Beach
Montréal: Le Mont Royal George-Étienne Cartier Monument
Denver: Civic Center Park
Ottawa: Parliament Hill and Major’s Hill Park
Edmonton: The Alberta Legislature Building
Boulder: Campus of the University of Colorado Boulder
Toronto: Nathan Phillips Square and Yonge-Dundas Square
Berkeley: Campus of University of California, Berkeley on the Memorial Glade
Mexico City: Mexican Senate under the slogan Platon 420.
Ann Arbor: Hash Bash
St. Louis, Missouri: Loop 420 Fest at Delmar Loop
And many other locations.
I was lucky to be able to attend the Cannabis Cup in Denver one year. They gave out free dabs in several places. Cannabis culture businesses had booths about their products. The ongoing Cannabis Cup competition for best grown strains. Lectures about current legislation and oh so many other things. There were lines a mile long just to get into the event. But unlike events that consist of drunk rednecks who want to fight about everything, there were no fights among the very large gathering of 60,000 people. We were all high and had the munchies and dry mouth by the time we walked through the gates. The atmosphere was like heaven for me. It was amazing! Afterwards, Mel and I went to local dispensaries to gather more goodies. Who did I run into? Snoop Dogg. He was going to be performing at the Cannabis Cup later that day. I was completely starstruck. Such an easy going, chill guy. I love him and his music!
No matter where you may be located, 420 is a day where the liberation of enjoying such a beautiful plant can occur. If you are like me, I will start planning my own celebration for this wonderful event in my own casa. I have my music picked out. My different strains of weed and grinder are readily available. Movies about marijuana and cannabis culture are listed to watch. Pipes freshly cleaned. Concentrates close at hand. Blunts and cones (not boobies) prepared. And plenty of junk food and grills warming up for the munchies. God Bless the plant and the United States of 420!
“Happy 420, enjoy prison when they do a Happy 4/21 National Drug Test Day!”
“Life deals you a lot of lessons. Some people learn from it. Some people don’t.”
-Brett Farve
Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away! Now that the 420 festivities are over with, I can really take the time to look at everything that Snoop the Weedster Bunny put in my stash basket. And all the wonderful goodies have clearly aimed to please. One of the new local strains that Snoop brought to me was called Brett Farve!
This is a local novelty strain named after the hall of fame quarterback Brett Farve. And yes, he is considered a hometown legend. This little beauty is made by a company called Gruv. Genetics are unknown to the public at this time. However, I can promise you that this strain will remain in my top five strains for eternity. It is estimated that the actual strain name is Scandalous OG. And a sub-strain of the OG Kush lineage.
With the guesstimated strain name, there’s are a few things that I knew about the strain without knowing the definite genetics. This strain has a very instant and dank fuel, diesel aroma. Also, the OG strains are typically indica dominant whether it’s a hybrid or straight indica. The taste, however, isn’t as heavy with the fuel as the smell. Your first taste is heavy, green, terpy taste. And then it hits the back of your throat with a scratchy, pepper taste. When it hits your body, fall into the cloud. Huge bong rips will leave you paralyzed with “couch lock.”
This strain hits at a whopping 30%. And let me tell you, this strain will not disappoint. I began getting pain relief almost instantly. This is definitely not a fruity strain. It has some true dank appeal to my tastebuds. I also don’t detect any type of skunkiness. With Brett Farve being diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease, this is a strain that reminds me a lot of him. It’s “tough as nails” in potency and terpenes at 4%. Top terpenes are Limonene, trans-Caryophyllene and a-Humulene. The heavy pain and stress relieving qualities combo is one that Brett could receive much benefit. Health benefits from medical cannabis with Parkinson’s patients by improving both motor symptoms and non-motor symptoms such as: bradykinesia, rigidity, tremor, sleep and pain.
I realized that this new company took a lot of risks just getting into the cannabis industry with this “hail mary” of a strain. It was a total touchdown in my book! The novelty stain name will be enticing for Hattiesburg, MS area medical patients who remember watching Brett Farve when he played at the University of Southern Mississippi. But the strain creation was a completed pass! And I look forward to more that this company has to offer. Thanks for reading! Keep it Green!
Affirmation: I have the right to choose healthcare that is best for me.
“Edibles kick in when they hear you talking crap about them.”
-Unknown
Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. Today, I want to talk to you about another type of cannabis product known as edibles. The quote I picked describes exactly what my first experience with edibles was like. I’ll explain what edibles are and then tell you the story.
Edibles themselves are just food or other consumable products infused with cannabis. The way that this happens is that cannabis has to be heated to a temperature that releases the THC and other cannabinoids. And they also must have a binding agent that is typically done with butane, alcohol, oil or butter. And then the resulting product can be incorporated into just about any type of products like brownies, gummies, beverages or favorite dessert. The information to remember is that edibles take much longer to begin working, somewhere between 2-3 hours. Unless eaten on an empty stomach which will cause them to take effect at around 45 minutes. The effects last much longer than smoking. This is where people tend to ingest too much. Because they think that the product is not working. It takes longer to go through the digestive system and then into the bloodstream.
The only frame of reference I had about weed was the kind that I smoked occasionally in high school. And it wasn’t good and clean. It was junk. But, it was all I had. Where some of my classmate’s mom would make “party” brownies, I was never around them to experience that.
While I was living in Albuquerque I got my first medical marijuana card. I got comfortable smoking the flower and headed in the direction of edibles. I saw on the dispensary menu that trail mix was available. I didn’t ask questions. I just bought it and took it home. We were taking Marshall to a pumpkin patch that would be an all day event. And I knew with my PTSD that the process would be very stressful for me. We begin getting ready and I start eating the food. I thought that you were supposed to eat the entire thing. So I did.
We needed to stop by Dollar Tree for a couple of things. I dropped Mel off while I waited in the car with Marshall. I didn’t have a whole lot of faith that the edible would work. It had been about an hours since I had eaten it on an empty stomach. By the time Mel finished shopping and came back to our vehicle, I told her, “Oh shit! Mel something is wrong!” Surprised that I was upset, she said, “What’s the matter?” I said, “I can’t feel my butt.” She asked, “Can you drive?” I told her, “Ummm..HELL NO!” I kept getting higher and higher. And then I got scared. The level of anxiety was “out of this world.” I knew one thing for sure, that experimental day would be one where a hard lesson would be learned. All I could do was think. But, I couldn’t seem to form many sentences. And walking didn’t even feel normal.
I began praying to the cannabis gods for mercy. And they didn’t seem to listen. I spent the entire day and evening lit as hell. For sixteen hours, I was higher than I have ever been. I didn’t get sick in any way. But I had to endure that horrible mistake. I went back to the dispensary the following Monday and told them what had happened. They chuckled and said, “You’re not supposed to eat the entire thing in one sitting.” I said, “Well it was only about ½ cup of the mixture.” They told me, “That was made with a concentrated cannabis oil that was infused in the trail mix.” I told them, “Ok. Well lesson learned.” and I left. Needless to say, I have never done that since.
If you over smoke or over dab you can recline your chair, and within about 45 minutes to a couple of hours, you come back down to earth. However, if you overdo it with an edible, you are just at its mercy. You cannot interrupt the process in any way. I say this so that you don’t make the same mistake. I have seen people eat two or three edibles at a time and I just look at them like they have lost their minds. I would tell them, “You’re going to regret doing that.” And sure enough, right after they talk crap about not feeling anything, they get so high that the experience becomes a miserable existence.
I had Irritable Bowel Syndrome, at the time, which is miserable in any respect. Every morning I would eat about a fourth of an edible, as a part of my regimen, and the symptoms were almost non-existent. I continued doing this for the next two years. And I haven’t had any symptoms of IBS since. I no longer take any kind of medication for that issue. My IBS is gone.
The drawback to using edibles is that they can spoil. So if it’s not a product that you can freeze and will end up going bad before you’re able to eat them, then you can potentially lose a lot of money. Products like gummies have a much longer shelf life. Some people don’t like smoking or have lung issues that prevent them from being able to smoke. And for those that have digestive problems, I have found that smoking really isn’t a good way to manage symptoms. Edibles are powerful and coat the digestive tract and they work! Just do them in moderation.
There are all types of different products including colas, gums, chocolates, hard candies and ice cream. The cannabis taste is the terpenes in the product. Since I am very sensitive to tastes, I tend to go with edibles with a much milder taste. One of the best items to use is cannabis butter which can be added to just about any meal. Mel would make red bean and rice and then add about a teaspoon of cannabis butter to my portion. And trust me that is all you need. Not a tablespoon.
If you want a nice peaceful rest for nighttime,get you some cannabis butter that is heavily infused with indica strains. You will rest and be almost pain free. If you still don’t like that option because of the high feeling, then opt for cannabis butter that is infused with high CBD, low THC strains.
Gummies are usually sold as 10 mg pieces. There are typically about 10 pieces to a pack. And to begin with you can get pretty lit on the dosage. You don’t have to get the 500mg candies that you see people eating on social media. They are idiots. But to each his own, right? There are so many flavors and foods that are available. Try as many different ones as you can and enjoy the ride!
I hope this blog has provided you with some information that can help you make informed decisions regarding these types of products. Thanks for reading! Keep up the blazing!
“It really puzzles me to see marijuana connected with narcotics, dope, and all of that stuff. It is a thousand times better than whiskey. It is an assistant and a friend.”
-Louis Armstrong, Musician
Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. Okie dokie! Today, staying in line with cannabis culture, I want to discuss another form of cannabis that has developed its own subculture in the last decade. It’s the use of concentrates commonly known as “dabbing.” It has become one of the favored ways of using marijuana. And one of my favorites as well.
Concentrates are just concentrated forms of marijuana that can get you very high, very quickly. And if not done correctly, can be a horribly unpleasant experience. When I began using concentrates, it didn’t take long for me to grasp the concept of moderation. I have overdabbed accidently a few times. And oh how I couldn’t wait for my high to come down to a more pleasant level. Concentrates are made in many ways such as: wax, oil, shatter, or budder. They can be consumed by dabbing, vaping, or adding to joints, blunts or bowls.
The extraction methods that gather all of the cannabinoids and terpenes of the plant can be done by:
Solvent based– butane, propane, ethanol or CO2.
Solventless: Pressure, heat, or ice water.
Forms include:
Wax: A waxy, pliable consistency.
Oil: A liquid form commonly used for vape cartridges or edibles.
Shatter: A glass like consistency.
Budder: A whipped or creamy consistency.
Other: hash oil and resin.
Consumption methods:
Dabbing: used with a device called a “dab rig” which vaporizes the concentrate for inhalation.
Vaping: Using a concentrate pen or cartridge sometimes with pre-filled concentrated substances.
Adding to bowls/joints/blunts: Adding a small amount to a bowl of flower or rolling into a joint or a blunt. I personally wouldn’t use these forms on a bowl. It will clog your pipe or bong and you will lose product.
Concentrates have THC percentages that range from 60%-90%. Do you see what I mean? Concentrates are like smoking three joints at one time. And the effects are almost immediate. You can become intoxicated very quickly. And if you do too much, it can leave you very sick. The results are nothing worse than getting too drunk. Complete with nausea, vomiting, sweating and/or bad paranoia. However, if you need a quick delivery versus waiting on the flower to work, this is a highly effective route.
Dabbing is typically used with equipment known as a “dab rig” that requires that you heat a metal or a glass nail and then drop a small amount of the concentrate on the heated surface. It is then vaportized and flows into the maze of the glass until it reaches your mouth for inhalation. I have a silicone dab kit because I have children and cats who do not care about beautiful pieces. And if it gets knocked off there’s no breakage. Dab rigs are typically around $60 to thousands of dollars. They now have dab rigs that have electric nails, called e-rigs, which are in the range from about $100 to several hundreds of dollars. They are safer than using a blow torch to heat up a nail. I’m perfectly happy with my silicone with metal nail and using a blow torch.
Concentrate Vape Pens are also something that I really enjoy using as it’s a more portable way of using in public. It consists of a coil that’s heated by pressing a button after depositing some of your concentrate into the reservoir. This is what I call my “adult binky.” Since I suffer from PTSD, panic attacks and social anxiety, I can take this with me while I run errands. And I put it to good use. It’s also very convenient when going out of town. Before you do that, consider checking into state laws since it’s still not legal nationally. If you are found in possession of concentrates, you can be charged with a felony. To me, personally, it’s worth the risk. Because my quality of life depends on it. I also have a medical cannabis card for the state of Mississippi but is not considered legal in other states without reciprocity. As long as I have my medical card, in this state, and I am not considered impaired, then it is completely legal. For people who live in states where you can buy cannabis recreationally, you cannot be charged with a possession or paraphernalia related to cannabis.
With fentanyl being a major issue, do not take the risk of buying any product from someone on the street, even if they tell you that it was bought at a dispensary. They do not always tell the truth. Even if your friend tells you that they have a friend who bought it at a dispensary. Again, that is probably what was told to them. It doesn’t mean that they verified that information.
When I lived in Texas, I would buy my weed from a guy that I got to know at a doctor’s office. But even then, I didn’t know for sure. I was just so desperate for some type of relief that I didn’t care. And I was willing to gamble with my life despite knowing the dangers.
Do not allow someone to dab you without knowing that they have the respect for you as a beginner. I have been overdabbed and it is not fun. Some people find it quite funny. I do not. Everyone has the right to enjoy the plant, as much as, anyone else. Start slowly and move at your own pace. That one bad experience can take the beauty out of an experience that is supposed to be heavenly. Thanks for reading! And keep dabbing!
“A little dab will do ya!”
-Dana Landrum-Arnold
***Don’t forget to watch the video!***
I was not allowed to upload the video for this post. So, I’ve provided a link instead.
Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. Okie dokie! As we begin to prepare for the holiday 420 among we marijuana smokers, I thought I would tell you about some of the many, many products that you can use to enjoy the holiday in “HIGH” fashion. This, again, is not a comprehensive list. There are just way too many items to try out. However, this list will definitely get you started on your “to-do list.”
Okay! Let’s begin with the product that most people associate with smoking marijuana, it’s the flower. The term “weed” comes from the plant itself. Because it is “literally” a weed. The difference is known as a strain. And within these strains are the genetics which is the framework that determines the levels of Cannabidiol (CBD) the non-psychoactive substance and Tetrahydrocannabinol (THC) the psychoactive substance that gets you high. And are the “sticky icky” substances that look like fine white hairs. I think it’s imperative to tell you that the plant actually produces THCa. But went heated the THCa is converted to THC. The amount of THC in the marijuana of the 1970’s was around 1%-3%. In comparison to today the THC levels, in the flower, range between about 14%-30% on average. That has been my experience. And I have bought and smoked a lot of cannabis in the last 10 years. These levels were probably inconceivable back then. The weed these days needs those levels to help with medical conditions. The higher levels of THC provide relief in particular to chronic pain and insomnia. Not that CBD doesn’t work on its own at some level. The e THC does, in fact, provide so much more relief. There are strains that are genetically developed and cultivated for a higher level of CBD 1;1 ratio. And a lot of the high CBD strains typically have much lower levels of THC. For those who don’t enjoy the feeling of the high, these strains are for you. I will even mix one of these strains in my pipe before I smoke a bowl giving me some additional relief.
Terpenes are the substances in the plant that do not get you high. These are in every plant. However, they do provide a relaxing effect and relieve pain. While also comprising over 30,000 compounds. Terpenes are NOT cannabinoids. But they have the same effect on your endocannabinoid system. They are also partially responsible for the individual tastes of each plant. They also determine, in conjunction, with the plant’s genetics what types of effects that you can likely experience. If you think you can benefit, learn the terpenes and genetics of the strains that you use. I personally have created a spreadsheet of the strains I try. And include a rating system along with the genetics so that I can narrow down which ones work best for me. This will help you navigate the medical part of your cannabis use.
There are 3 different types of cannabis. They are indica, sativa, and hybrids. The indicas will give you a very intense “body high” known as “couch lock.” And this is when you get so high that you might stare in place for several minutes to hours at a time. Usually, meaning that you can’t get off the couch. You want the cheetos but, at the moment, you can’t figure out how to get to them. No worries. It will only last for about 30-45 minutes, depending on how high you are, to drop from the clouds. Then you just re-up and go again. I use strains that are very indica dominant in nature. I am still able to get up and do the things I need to do. But some people cannot. This will also help you determine what you like and don’t like. The medicine of the plant will begin to work continuously. The “high” of the THC will slowly diminish.
Sativas are most closely associated with a very “cerebral” type of high. These are very good if you need an antidepressant. It’s the type of strain where you can still get up and do housework or go back to work. Caution with these as they can increase anxiety. And from personal experience, I have panic attacks just fine without them. I am very sensitive to sativas.
Hybrids are just that: They are a combination of the two types of strains varying in percentages of each. I have found that hybrids are much more readily available than pure indicas. While you can find them, you don’t see them as much. So, in that case, I use an indica-dominant hybrid strain. Each strain has its own goofy name. Don’t let that fool you. It’s still good medicine.
Some people who smoke recreationally are more concerned with the level of THC in a particular strain. And if all you want to do is get “high”, go for it. Medically and psychiatrically, I just need my medicine to work. I have used some 30% THC levels only to be disappointed that my needs were not met. And I have used some at around 15% that have worked just fine. There isn’t a set standard for medical patients. You just have to continue through trial and error to find what you like. I typically have around 10-15 different strains at any given time. So, when I wake up in the morning, I can determine at that time what I will use during the day. And the region of the country that you’re in will differ in strains everywhere you go. I encourage you to try, as many as you can, even on vacation.
Take your time with this process. Don’t’ go too big, too quickly, or you will have a bad experience and put a sour taste in your memory. You won’t die from an overdose. Because that’s not even possible but you’ll wish you did. You would then be cheating yourself out of this beautiful plant experience. Also, if you reach levels of intoxication, be responsible and don’t drive. You will still get a DUI.
If you have a recreational marijuana program in your state go to the dispensaries and talk with a local budtender now. The closer you get to 420 the more the products will disappear or be picked over. Always have a copy of High Times Magazine nearby to keep up with the latest trends in cannabis culture. Smoke a bowl for me! Thanks for reading!
“The illegality of cannabis is outrageous, an impediment of full utilization of a drug which helps produce the serenity and insight, sensitivity, and fellowship so desperately needed in this increasingly mad and dangerous world.”
“I find it quite ironic that the most dangerous thing about weed is getting caught with it.”
-Bill Murray
Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go aways. Okie dokie! Today marks my second favorite time of the year. Yep it’s the month of 420! Not everyone agrees with it. For me though, it has saved my life. To the naysayers, there is absolutely nothing you can tell me negatively that I’ll believe about the plant called cannabis.
Cannabis has been around for forever and ever amen with a lot of negative connotations. My own family still takes issue with the fact that federally it’s still considered illegal. And you can’t really have a conversation about it because some of them are not willing to discuss the science. In a lot of ways vilifying this plant because of the Nancy Reagan 80’s seems to have stuck. I have family members that are earthy, crunchy thinkers in regard to health. And their lives all about healing with fruits, vegetables and herbs. But so am I. I like fruits, vegetables and herbs too. I just smoke my herbs. The side effects are very simple: sleepy, happy and hungry. “Big Pharma” on the other hand are constantly being sued for all of the harmful side effects. No thank you to medications that cause more harm than good. And drinking and driving home is the much safer option?
Over the years cannabis has gotten a horrible name. It’s not because it’s a dangerous drug. In fact, cannabis is one of the healthiest plants available. Our country has now made it a priority to invest money into science and discovering the healing properties. And there are scientific studies proving that cannabis isn’t as bad as once thought.
Unlike alcohol and other harmful drugs, cannabis continues to provide people with life saving medicine as it has for me. It’s healing cannabinoids help with chronic pain, epilepsy, anxiety, multiple sclerosis, PTSD, alzheimer’s disease, chemotherapy induced nausea and vomiting, insomnia, cancer, fighting cancer, inflammatory bowel disease, tourette syndrome, crohn’s disease, depression, HIV/AIDS, muscle spasms, anorexia, amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, addiction, inflammation,parkinson’s disease, PTSD, reducing blood pressure, anxiety disorders, stabilizing blood sugar, decreasing overdose rates, opioid dependence, spinal cord injuries, dystonia, dementia, glaucoma, schizophrenia and other medical and psychological problems (ncbi.nlm.nih.gov, 2017).
The days of believing that cannabis is a drug that causes great bodily harm are over. Hallelujah! Now let me point out one thing. Cannabis isn’t for everyone just like certain pharmaceuticals aren’t. And I agree that some people might have some type of addiction issues. However, there is no physical withdrawal that occurs. It is impossible to overdose on cannabis. You might take or use too much, causing intoxication. But that’s not the plant’s fault. If you have a problem with addiction to this, it is a “you” problem not the substance.
I can only speak for myself as one who has a lengthy history of addiction, I have never had a problem with marijuana. The problems have always come back to myself and the maladaptive ways of coping. Buying marijuana off the streets where most of it has come from cartels, it can be sprayed with poisons which increase the effects and dependency. And this is also where a lot of the paranoia stems from. Yes, there are people who complain about paranoia induced by cannabis that is bought from very safe dispensaries. These cases are very minimal on a broad scale. So, marijuana might not fit you as an individual. However,for people like me who continue to reap the benefits of this plant minus the addiction, I can say that it has truly saved my life. And as a result has lowered the amount of suicidal ideations that used to plague me on a daily basis.
The effects of PTSD continue to complicate my life. The overwhelming symptoms are not near what they once were. Cannabis does NOT cure PTSD. It simply helps with the unfriendly symptoms and side effects. I have gone from being on close to fifteen psychiatric “big pharma” medications down to zero. I didn’t see the point of taking Parkinson’s medication for a side effect of the anti-depressant. Not to mention that I wasn’t able to experience emotions in a way to gauge how I was healing. And everything from the waist down was literally dead. If that’s the price you pay for happiness, then I would rather be sad. I still struggle hard sometimes. And that is where working with coach is other beneficial piece to my treatment. If it is not a substance that doesn’t work for you then move on. But don’t demonize this medication for those of us that it helps to ensure survivability. Thanks for reading! Keep moving forward.
“It is irresponsible not to provide the best care we can as a medical community, care that could involve marijuana. We have been terribly and systematically misled for nearly 70 years in the United States, and I apologize for my own role in that.”
“To become authentic we require a thirst for freedom.”
-Don Mateo Sol
Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. I love the smell of burning sage. Mentally it somehow provides a bubble that no one’s negativity can penetrate. Even if only for a moment.
I have been shamed by many entities, friends and family for being a lesbian. I have two superhero children that came out of that relationship with their other mom. And my children have also had that held against them as well. Was that selfish of us to bring children into the world knowing that? No. I believe that God saw that we had two children that were absolutely perfect for the situation. We brought those children into the world loving them and wanting to be parents. We have always told them that families look differently with race and gender differences. And is in no way right or wrong. It just is. I’ve also been asked, “Well, what if they come out as bisexual, gay or heaven forbid in a relationship with another race?” My response has always been, “Then what a great and very diverse family they will have to be a part of.” I have told my boys from the beginning, “I will never hold against you who you love. If you can find someone who truly loves you for who you are and respects you, go for it! I will have a problem if they are abusive buttholes.”
I lost my sanity trying to be what others told me that I should be. And being a part of the LGBTQ+ community oftentimes we are “forced” to make a family outside of our families of origin. Not as a choice but as a necessity. Me and my children have always been seen as less than. We have not been included or have been treated as “sloppy seconds” because of who I loved. And how they were conceived because personal beliefs on the topic.
I have watched people through the presidential election and the horrible crimes of P. Diddy destroy relationships. One thing I’ve learned is that I’m not going to agree with you and you will not agree with me. So, what’s the point of arguing just for the sake of arguing? However, what I have made abundantly clear is that if you see something done that’s illegal or wrong and don’t speak out, then you’re just as guilty. I have learned some very difficult lessons about being scared into silence. My life has been largely influenced by narcissists. And the only title that fits perfectly is “emotional vampires” and “masters of deception.” The narcissist that I was enslaved by always called himself “a local celebrity.” To put it very bluntly, these kind of people are very scary. And cause colossal damage to their victims.
It doesn’t matter if you’re from a small town, politician or celebrity. Wrong is wrong. I can spot a narcissist a mile away. And there is no place in a society that harbors these type of criminals that often operate in the shadows. Just because you don’t see them in this role, doesn’t mean that it doesn’t happen. They are more concerned with their image than your well-being. If you’re operating openly then I have even less respect for those individuals. That just tells me that you’re even more dangerous. The commonality between narcissists is the fact that their egos are much bigger and stands out from others. They feel that they are untouchable. And they also believe that money, popularity, fame and scare tactics keep them safe from others that oppose their stance. They are the “god” of their own universe. I have also had family members that are narcissists. Most don’t change because they don’t see themselves as doing anything wrong. The ones that do change only do so because of “scared straight” tactics. And the only thing you can do is keep your emotional distance.
The abuse, for me, only got worse when the doors were closed. If this doesn’t fit your opinions, then take what you can use and leave the rest. It’s the beauty of living in a “free society.” I speak only MY truth. And pain changes people. I’m not here to coddle anyone’s delicate feelings.
When I was a child, a teacher was allowed to unmercifully abuse me. Yes “ALLOWED!” I spoke with school administrators 20+ years later only to be told that they knew the abuse was going on but they couldn’t do anything about it. Let that sink in for a minute. They knew that a child was being abused and did nothing about it. I fought adults on my own. Not one adult stepped forward and said, “This is wrong! She’s a child and you’re committing crimes!” GUITY! GUILTY! GUILTY!
Granted the science about childhood trauma and its effects on adulthood functionality was in its infancy at the time. Unfortunately, I am only one of millions of adult children who now know the harsh realities of just how deeply abuse can effect someone. In this day and age, ignorance can no longer be used as an excuse. Science is everywhere. And so is the research and studied outcomes of how negatively shaming affects a person’s entire being.
I don’t try and paint life and this world as a beautiful oasis where nothing goes wrong. I don’t tell my kids many specifics about my trauma history. But make no mistake they know who “the mean man” is. And they know about that mean teacher that locked me in a closet. They also know, see and experience what it’s like to watch their mom struggle from the consequences of abuse. And also what can happen to another person when we don’t find a way to heal our own wounds. And if that makes me a bad parent because they are prepared for the difficulties of life, then so be it. I used to have a real complex about having a mental illness that is trauma induced. But then I realized that what I saw when I looked the eyes of my children was that I was raising advocates.
As a parent, my job is to protect my children as much as I possibly can. That does not mean smothering them with my own personal beliefs. We are to teach them how to think. Not what to think. Teach them how to make educated decisions. And sometimes allowing them that freedom is very difficult knowing that there is a great potential for growing pains. We learn through our mistakes or we don’t.
I allow my children to make their own decisions within reason. I tell them, “Here are your choices. Whatever your decision is comes with either positive or negative consequences. Make your decision.” When they come to Camp Frat Pad I tell them both, “If you want to stay up all night that’s fine. But, if you’re a butthole tomorrow you will get in trouble.” Both boys go to bed at a decent hour most of the time. I also allow them to have the freedom to dress and cut or not cut their hair anyway they want. All in an effort to assert their individuality.
That’s a dream that I wished I had been allowed to live. My individuality always seemed to have some type of constraints. I’m not the kind of person that conforms to social “norms.” I am very ok with who I am. And the more you try to force your hand and make me conform, the more I rebel. I will also not be a part of sitting idly by and watching my children be treated differently because they come from a minority family. How can I expect them to stand up for other individuals’s differences if I don’t stand up for them? I have watched many people claim that they’re one way. Then tuck tail and run when it comes to the statement that is not popular among others in their peer group. I’ve watched that many times. And those people will not admit to any wrong doing. They just want only you to change. I don’t need to change that part of me. I have no problem being gay.
I will not ever silence MY truth because of someone else’s uncomfortability ever again. My children are watching me to see if I am who I say I am. And that I am. Nothing more, nothing less. And I make absolutely no apologies for being authentic. Because I can’t be nobody but me!
“If you want to know where to find your contribution to the world, look at your wounds. When you learn how to heal them, teach others.”
“To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make everybody else-means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting; and never stop fighting. Stay true to yourself, yet always be open to learning.” -E.E. Cummings, A Poet’s Advice to Students
Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away! Ok that feels much better. This is a blog that I’ve been wanting to write for some time. For the last couple of months, I have been in a depression that has been absolutely debilitating. Maybe it’s been due to the stress of recent surgeries. Or maybe it’s been a combination of that and coming off all of my psych meds. Yes, you heard that correctly. I am now off of my meds and the mood swing has snapped! Run! Right or wrong. I took myself off in a rather drastic way. When I get an idea in my head that I’m going to do something, write it down. It will get done. Now I don’t advise coming off psych meds all at once. However, I wanted it done immediately. So, I put myself through absolute hell. I was so sick physically that coming off heroin would’ve been easier. Nevertheless, It’s finally over. And things mentally and physically have come alive again. And I do mean everything.
I remember looking at myself in a mirror saying, “Well hey you! Where have you been?” I don’t have any problems with the idea of antidepressants or any other type of psychiatric meds. For me, though, I was tired of taking them and constantly having to worry about copays to community mental health providers that I truly didn’t have the extra money to afford. I have also been on the state’s cannabis program for a couple of years with the goal of one day coming off those other meds. I’m just too impatient to go through the slow process of convincing professionals to continue tapering. And being that I’m a “street pharmacist”, I just decided to do it myself. I still struggle with severe insomnia that has somewhat plateaued at the moment. My cannabis spreadsheet is finally complete! Which means that I now tailor my “green meds” to what I need. Instead of also having to factor in traditional meds and their side effects. This might not work for everyone. So, do you boo-boo.
What this has also done is find the backbone that I knew I once had. Antidepressants make you much more tolerant of criticisms and everyday frustrations. Now I just smoke a bowl or do a few dabs and it does the same thing instantly. One thing that I’m constantly having to adjust is medication for pain management. That, in itself, has been quite the adjustment.
Doctors, no matter the issues, are just not willing to help with pain management enough to help keep people comfortable. I didn’t say keep them high or addicted. With “Big Pharma”, though, that’s how they line their pockets.
While living in New Mexico and Texas, my lack of pain management led me straight back to the streets. And that always leads to either jails, rehabs or the grave. There’s just too much Fentanyl out there for my comfort level. I can honestly say that being on the cannabis program previously and now that my addiction issues have not reared their ugly heads in this area of my life. Trust me, when addiction wants to take me, I go seemingly very willingly. In other areas of my life I am still in the grasp of addiction. Regardless, life continues to be brutal. And parenting doesn’t get easier either. It just has new challenges.
In therapy, everything ebbs and flows. Sometimes it’s easier than others. And sometimes you seem to plateau. Recently, I have had my most painful trauma hit me at my weakest point. I was literally awake for five days and crazy as hell. I know what a fabulous time to abandon medication and its requirements. I have always taken the difficult road in life that this time was no different. Dangerous? Probably. To me, doing things safely just takes way too long. And I’m not willing to wait.
I have always been a people pleaser. I have done what others wanted regardless of what I wanted to do. I felt that I have always needed to somehow strive for perfection that could never be attained. I’ve always tried to be for others, losing the vision for who and what I’ve wanted and needed to be. I’ve attempted to be straight knowing full well that I’m not. I have dressed in ways others wanted me to. Acted in ways expected of me. I kept my hair cut in ways to only pacify others. And I lost myself in the process.
I won’t ever say that “coming out” has been an easy process. It’s very different for every person. It’s probably the most difficult process I’ve ever had to go through. And more painful than you can imagine. Think about this for a second. If you wake up in the morning as someone who is sexually “heterosexual”, imagine what you would do if someone told you, “No, you must be gay.” You can try and do your best to be gay. You might even speak the lingo. But in your heart, you have always been straight. You just can’t be gay no matter what you are told or what you are shamed for. So, one day you just stand up and say, “I don’t care what gender you think that I should be with. I’m not nor have I ever been gay!” Imagine how freeing that would feel, for once in your life, to be who you know that you are. If you can’t comprehend a scenario like this then be glad you can’t.
It’s kind of like individuals who don’t understand why the LGBTQ+ community has gay pride celebrations. How many times have I heard the comments like, “Well we(straight) don’t have “straight pride” celebrations.” The Stonewall Riots were not about having “Straight Pride.” They were about the freedom of being a member of the LGBT community without the fear of being arrested. The idea of “straight pride” is ignorant. And you will look stupid trying to argue that point. So don’t get jealous every year when June rolls around and all of the rainbows, glitter, unicorns and individual pride colors come out and the LGBTQ+ communities are beautiful and flamboyant. Be glad that you don’t have a reason to celebrate “Straight Pride.”
I “came out” in my 30’s as gay. This has presented many problems including lost relationships, shunning by family members and loss of jobs. The list goes on and on. And so do the whispers and backbiting. As scared as I was to make that step forward, I did it! And I have NEVER regretted my decision a day since. I finally stood up and proclaimed who I am! People will call you all kinds of names. It’s the ones you answer to that counts!
“Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are.” -Brene Brown