Finding Me (Poetry)
The pain of laughter that everyone sees
The person before you is not really me
The funnier I am, the more pain I’m in
Maybe it’s wrong or some terrible sin.
I loved living life until these terrible days.
Now I live in a trauma filled haze.
Keeping those secrets has eaten a hole.
I’m no longer me but rather a shattered soul.
Most days I’m scared and can’t think
And to get through this life I feel I must have paper and ink
That tiny little town, the memories and secrets are held.
It not Southern Comfort but a type of burning hell.
Friends and family from a time I once knew
Happy-go-lucky and not dark grey and blue.
The days I was carefree I was happy and nice
And if she asked me again, I wouldn’t think twice.
Two boys that are precious I wish I could hear
Held close to my heart because they are dear.
Far behind the smiles in pictures they just can’t see
How I hang on for dear life while I try to find me.