Too Much Of A Good Thing
“Most of us try to do too much because we are secretly afraid we will not be able to do anything at all.”
Rick Aster, Fear of Nothing
I was a dedicated student and dedicated athlete. Whenever I had something that needed to be done I couldn’t tolerate knowing that it’s not done even when I had just received my assignment. Plus I’m incredibly critical of any type of project that I have before me that even when I finish it and having done the best I can, I’m still not please because I fear there are mistakes that I’m missing.
Posting these blogs has had some very emotionally charged topics that were so painful that I haven’t read since the day I initially wrote them. Now going back and editing the document in several different ways while maintaining the original continuity of the writing also means that I’ve been re-reading them. They might be older writings but they also have the ability to pack a powerful and unnerving punch even after 5 years.
I personally don’t get the concept of “moderation” which means that I’ll push myself from a healthy focus to one that can only lead to my detriment. This project of putting all of the ones I’ve written on WordPress is definitely a project. I get that “tunnel vision” that made me a great student and athlete and will go, go, go without stopping to think and check-in to see how all of this is affecting the rest of “my guys.”
A lesson was learned but unfortunately too late and I’ve got to take a few days off to settle my guys from an absolute torrential downpour of flooding painful memories. Yep, I was going along great and then tripped over a big ole’ bag of feelings and fell right in burying myself in them. I simply was unprepared and thought that there would be no backlash. I didn’t even consider what potential problems could arise.
The good thing is once they’re all posted I can leave them alone again. I’m afraid I won’t be able to post as many each day as I have been because of the demons they have awaken. I’m trying to be a team player even with topics I’m so passionate writing and talking about. So……..I’m going to take a few days off from posting in an attempt to settle the restless head mates and to gather some balance.