Spiritual Abuse

darnold1975

The Bible Belt Is Tightening, and It’s Cutting Off the Circulation to Compassion

“If your religion needs an enemy to feel holy, it’s not faith. It’s fear dressed up in Sunday clothes.”

-This Puzzled Life

Light the charcoal. We’re about to grill an entire ideology that’s been marinating in fear, supremacy, and a whole lot of “Jesus said I could” seasoning. And before anybody clutches their pearls or starts rehearsing their testimony, let me say this loud enough for the back pew. I am not talking about the true Christians. You know the ones. The tiny, endangered handful who actually read the teachings of Jesus. And then miraculously follow them. The ones who don’t treat the Bible like a buffet where you skip the compassion and double‑up on the judgment. Those folks exist. But they’re more rare than a Mississippi summer without humidity.

I’m talking about the loud ones. The ones who have turned Christianity into a political brand, a power tool, a weapon, a personality type, and a personality cult. The ones who cheer when courts strip people of rights. Who clap when cruelty is legislated. Who grin when someone else’s suffering is framed as “God’s will.” The ones who make me as someone who grew up in the pews. Someone who knows the hymns by heart. Fear religion itself. Because the version they’re selling looks nothing like Jesus and everything like empire.

And down here in the South, Southern Christianity has become a full‑blown spectator sport. They’ll shout “Hallelujah!” While policies harm children, families, and communities. And they think that as long as they’re not the ones swinging the hammer, Jesus still smiles on them. They’ve invented a whole “Jesus Warranty” that supposedly covers all cruelty. As long as they’re cheering from the sidelines instead of doing the dirty work themselves. Here are some examples.

1. “God knows my heart.” Yes, Brenda, and that’s exactly what concerns me.

2. “Love the sinner, hate the sin.” Translation: “I’m about to be hateful and blame Jesus for it.”

3. “I’m just speaking the truth in love.” There is no love in that sentence. Not a drop. Not even a trace amount detectable by forensic equipment.

4. “God put this administration in power.” Until, of course, that same administration does something that affects their bank account. Then suddenly it’s “the devil testing us.”

Christian nationalism isn’t faith. It’s not devotion. It’s not spirituality. It’s power wearing a cross necklace it bought at Hobby Lobby. And southerners love them some Hobby Lobby. It’s the belief that God has chosen one group, one culture, one worldview, one interpretation, to rule over everyone else. It’s the idea that democracy is optional. But domination is holy. It’s the conviction that cruelty is righteous as long as it’s done “in Jesus’ name.”

When religion becomes power, it stops being religion. It becomes a regime. It becomes a justification for harm. It becomes a shield for hypocrisy. It becomes a megaphone for supremacy.

And the people who claim to “protect children” are often the same ones cheering on policies that harm them spiritually, emotionally, physically, and sexually. All while insisting Jesus will sign off on the paperwork. Because nothing says “family values” like ignoring suffering, as long as, it keeps your ideology comfortable.

If anyone thinks Christian nationalism is new, bless their heart. America has been dipping cruelty in holy water since before the ink dried on the Constitution. Here are the receipts. The historical kind. The kind that don’t name political figures. The kind that show the pattern loud and clear.l

1. Slavery: Scripture as Shackles

  • Enslavers cherry‑picked verses to claim bondage was “God’s order.”
  • Ministers preached obedience as holy duty.
  • Enslaved people were denied access to the full Bible. Because the truth might set them free.

2. Jim Crow: Segregation With a Side of Sunday School

  • Churches reinforced racial hierarchy.
  • Segregationists claimed integration violated “God’s design.”
  • Religious institutions blessed discriminatory laws.

3. Indigenous Boarding Schools: “Saving Souls” by Destroying Culture

  • Government and church institutions partnered to remove Indigenous children.
  • Abuse and cultural erasure were framed as “Christianizing.”
  • Religion became the mask worn by assimilation.

4. Anti‑LGBTQ+ Discrimination: Conditional Love Isn’t Love

  • Religious rhetoric justified denying housing, jobs, and marriage.
  • Conversion therapy was marketed as “healing.”
  • Policies restricting rights were framed as “protecting morality.”

5. Purity Culture & Women’s Autonomy: The Holy Handmaid’s Tale

  • Women’s bodies were treated as temples owned by someone else.
  • Religious arguments restricted autonomy.
  • Purity culture taught girls that silence was holiness.

6. Harsh Criminal Punishment: “Biblical Justice” for Everyone Except the Powerful

  • Harsh sentencing was framed as moral duty.
  • Compassion was dismissed as weakness.
  • Religion became a shield for punitive systems.

7. The Red Scare: Christianity as a Loyalty Test

  • Being a “good American” became synonymous with being a “good Christian.”
  • Dissent was framed as spiritual corruption.
  • Policies restricting speech were justified as “defending faith.”

8. The War on Drugs: Morality Plays With Real Victims

  • Addiction was framed as sin instead of a health issue.
  • Punitive policies were justified as “protecting families.”
  • Communities of color bore the brunt.

9. Institutional Abuse of Children: Discipline Disguised as Devotion

  • Religious institutions partnered with government agencies.
  • Abuse was ignored under the guise of “spiritual correction.”
  • Children suffered while adults insisted it was “for their own good.”

10. Anti‑Immigrant Policies: “Christian Nation” Gatekeeping

  • Religious identity defined who was “truly American.”
  • Immigrants were labeled threats to “Christian values.”
  • Policies restricting immigration were framed as moral protection.

The only time some conservative Christians seem to oppose the current administration is when the consequences of their own ideology finally land on their doorstep. Specifically, their bank account. Suddenly it’s not “God’s chosen leadership” anymore. Suddenly it’s “persecution.” Suddenly the Holy Spirit is suspiciously aligned with their financial discomfort. Funny how that works. The Holy Spirit always seems to agree with their wallet.

And bless the hearts of the ones who swear up and down that their Christianity isn’t Christian nationalism. While doing every single thing Christian nationalism requires. They’ll tell you they’re “just standing for biblical values.” While they cheer on policies that harm people. They’ll insist they’re “not political.” While their entire theology is shaped like a ballot box. They’ll claim they “love everyone.” While supporting systems that crush the very people Jesus spent His life defending. They’ll say, “That’s not my Christianity,” even as they weaponize scripture. Excuse cruelty. Ignore suffering. And wrap their ideology in a flag like it’s a baptismal robe. It’s the spiritual equivalent of saying, “I didn’t set the fire. I just keep handing out matches.”

Christian nationalism is the golden calf wearing a WWJD bracelet. It is the Pharisee with a flag. It is the empire Jesus warned us about. The one that crucifies truth. Crowns hypocrisy. And calls it holy. And if protecting your power requires harming others. If your faith demands someone else’s suffering. And if your Jesus looks suspiciously like your politics. Then you’re not worshiping Christ. You’re worshiping yourself. And may the real Jesus, the one who flipped tables, have a word with you about it. Thanks for reading! And what are your thoughts on this topic?

Affirmation: I honor the real teachings of love, justice, and compassion. And I refuse to bow to any ideology that uses God as a weapon.

***Don’t forget to watch the video!***

#ThisPuzzledLife

darnold1975

When Purity Culture Protects Predators: The Duggar Edition

“If your righteousness collapses the moment accountability arrives, it was never righteousness. It was camouflage.”

-This Puzzled Life

Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Today we’re grilling up a fresh batch of religious hypocrisy “Duggar‑style.” That special brand of “family values” where the skirts are long. The hair is crunchy. And the list of sex crimes is longer than the Old Testament. You’d think a family with 19 kids and a camera crew would’ve spent at least five minutes teaching their sons that maybe the real sin isn’t masturbation. It’s molesting children. But no. No, no, no. The Duggar doctrine has always been, “Touching yourself is evil. But touching your sisters? Well, let’s pray about it.”

And now here we are again. Another Duggar son, this time Joseph. Has been making headlines for the same nightmare behavior that already sent Josh Duggar, his brother, to prison. After Josh was found guilty of possessing child sexual abuse material and sentenced in 2022. A family tree so rotten it’s practically compost. And the wildest part? These aren’t drag queens. These aren’t queer folks. These aren’t immigrants. These aren’t the people conservative Christians love to foam at the mouth about. Nope. It’s straight, white, right‑wing, Bible‑thumping men. Yet again, harming children while preaching purity like they invented it.

Meanwhile the kids they violated? They’re left with trauma that doesn’t get a sentence reduction. A parole hearing. Or early release for “good behavior.” They carry it forever. In their bodies. In their nervous systems. In the quiet moments nobody else sees. But sure. Tell me again how queer people are the threat? Tell me again how trans folks using the bathroom is the downfall of civilization? Tell me again how cannabis is the devil’s lettuce while your sons are out here committing crimes that shatter childhoods?

At this point, the Duggar brand of Christianity is so tainted it needs a hazmat label. Everything they’ve preached about morality, purity, and righteousness has evaporated like holy water on a hot skillet. Their “faith” isn’t faith. It’s a costume. A prop. A shield for predators who hide behind scripture while desecrating everything it claims to stand for.

And the saddest part? There are still people who will defend them. Still people who will twist themselves into theological pretzels to excuse the inexcusable. Still people who will say, “Well, nobody’s perfect.” As if imperfection and predation are the same category. They aren’t. They never will be. Some things are unforgivable. Some things stain a soul so deeply that no amount of prayer, repentance, or PR spin can scrub it clean.

And if the most powerful seat in the nation can be held by someone repeatedly accused of harming women and children, it’s no wonder his supporters think this behavior is normal. It’s no wonder they defend it. It’s no wonder they minimize it. When your leader models entitlement, cruelty, and moral decay, the flock follows.

And here’s the part nobody in their starched‑collar, Bible‑thumping echo chamber wants to hear. The one they can’t sermonize away. Children deserve safety. Children deserve protection. Children deserve a world where their bodies are not battlegrounds for someone else’s power, lust, or theology. And anyone who violates that? Anyone who destroys a child’s sense of safety? Anyone who weaponizes religion to excuse it? They’ve forfeited the right to be seen as righteous. They’ve forfeited the right to be believed. They’ve forfeited the right to preach about morality ever again.

If your faith can’t protect children from your own men, it’s not faith. It’s a cover‑up with a choir. You don’t get to preach purity while you and your sons are out here shattering childhoods. You don’t get to weaponize scripture against queer folks. While ignoring the predators in your own pews. You don’t get to call yourselves “God’s chosen family.” When the only thing you’ve consistently produced is trauma, denial, and a PR team working overtime.

Because the truth is simple. If your faith collapses the moment accountability walks into the room, it was a costume stitched together with shame, silence, and selective morality. And the children you failed? They will grow up carrying scars your sermons can’t erase. They will spend years rebuilding safety you stole. They will learn to trust themselves again in a world you taught them was dangerous. When the danger was sitting at your own dinner table.

Meanwhile, the men who harmed them will keep hiding behind the same religion they desecrated. Counting on the same community that protected them. And quoting the same verses they never lived by. Truth doesn’t care about your reputation. It doesn’t care about your brand. It doesn’t care about your “family values” photo ops. It shows up loud, uninvited, and holding receipts.

And once it arrives, there’s no going back. No amount of prayer circles, modesty lectures, or “thoughts and prayers” statements can un‑rot a tree that’s been diseased from the roots. So let the world take note. It wasn’t drag queens. It wasn’t trans folks. It wasn’t immigrants. It wasn’t the communities you demonize. It was your own men. Again. And again. And again.

And if that truth makes your theology crumble? Good. Let it fall. Let it burn. Let it clear the ground for something that actually protects children instead of protecting predators. Because at the end of the day, the only thing more dangerous than a man who harms children, is a community that refuses to hold him accountable. And if your religion can’t tell the difference between righteousness and abuse, then it’s not holy. It’s a hiding place. Thanks for reading! And do your part to protect our children.

Affirmation: I honor truth. Protect the vulnerable. And refuse to let anyone hide abuse behind faith, power, or fear.

***Don’t forget to watch the video!***

#ThisPuzzledLife

darnold1975

Types Of Domestic Violence Part 2

“An abuser can seem emotionally needy. You can get caught in a trap of catering to him, trying to fill a bottomless pit. But he’s not so much needy as entitled, so no matter how much you give him, it will never be enough. He will just keep producing more demands because he believes his needs are your responsibility, until you feel drained down to nothing.”

-Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. Today I want to go over more types of domestic violence. I know that this topic is not an easy one to face. However, domestic abuse occurs in more homes than you realize. Maybe in your own home.

VERBAL ABUSE

·        Ridiculing or humiliating someone.

v  If he were alive and breathing, this would happen from the time I woke up until the time I went to bed.

·        Criticizing their appearance, intelligence, sexuality, religious beliefs, or ethnicity.

v  This happened all the time. I was constantly told that I was dumb and retarded.

·        Criticizing their actions as a partner or parent.

v  All day and every day. The worst was at night and on the weekends. I got blamed for his bad golf game. He had this idea that he was Tiger Woods. And he very clearly wasn’t. But it was always because of something I did that made him play bad. In reality, he just sucks at the game.

·        Using cruel or abusive nicknames.

v  He and his brother always had cruel nicknames for me.

·        Swearing at someone.

v  Most people cuss when they get mad. However, he and his brother were relentless in their attacks.

·        Yelling or screaming at someone.

v  Again, I think that a certain amount would be considered normal. However, screaming and hollering at me for everything little thing was how they both operated.

SOCIAL ABUSE

·       Stopping someone from seeing or contacting their friends and family.

v  He didn’t physically stop me. However, it was very clear that I was not leaving the house without specific information about where I was going and what I was doing. And if that wasn’t what he wanted, I was told not to go at all.

·       Stopping someone from going to social or community activities.

v  Unless he went with me, I was told, “No. You don’t need to go do that.”

·       Preventing someone from having contact with people who speak their language or share their culture.

·       Making someone move away from friends, family, or work opportunities.

 

·       Controlling a person’s use of phone or computers.

v On more than one occasion, when I went to call for help from police, he would unplug the phone so that I couldn’t use it.

·       Checking or stopping their mail, phone calls, text messages, emails, social media and other messaging or chat apps.

v  Luckily, there was not much of this that was available at the time. There was barely internet, and I better not have an email address. I had a Nokia cellphone which he checked constantly.

·       Telling lies or spreading false information to damage a person’s reputation.

v  This happened all the time. Especially when he talked to his family. The smear campaign was always in action.

·       Using someone’s intersex status, sexuality, gender expression, transgender, or HIV status against them.

v  He never knew that I was a lesbian. Hell, why would I tell him when the violence was bad enough.

·       Forced marriage

v  The day of my wedding, I knew that I was making the biggest mistake of my life. I was frozen with fear. But it was what he continually pushed for marriage. And I eventually gave in. Biggest mistake of my life!

·       Stalking

v  This happened every single day. If it wasn’t him, it was his friends and family who did the stalking. At the end of the day, I was questioned about everything that I had done and was told, “Well, what about when you were walking around in that store.” He knew every move that I made. It even got so bad that he knew what I had eaten during the day.

SPIRITUAL, RELIGIOUS OR CULTURAL ABUSE

  • Preventing someone from practicing and being connected to their culture.
  • Stopping someone from going to their place of worship.
  • Stopping someone from having contact with other people who share their beliefs.
  • Stopping someone from celebrating days of cultural or spiritual significance.
  • Stopping someone from sharing their beliefs and traditions with their children.
  • Stopping someone who is Aboriginal or Torres Strait Islander from returning to Country or having contact with kin.
  • Stopping someone who has family connections outside Australia from visiting or connecting with family or community overseas.
  • Ridiculing someone’s beliefs or traditions.
  • Forcing someone to do things that are against their beliefs, like eating certain foods or wearing certain clothes.
  • Forcing someone to marry.

The pressure was definitely applied when I was undecided.

  • Forcing someone to take part in spiritual practices in which they don’t believe.
  • Forcing someone to raise their children according to beliefs they don’t agree with.
  • Using or claiming to use spiritual or religious beliefs:

Let me just say this about him and his spiritual practices. He always went through the motions and played the part. He even pretended to get “saved” and was baptized. However, that was as far as it went. Because when we got home the abuse continued to happen. But now he had a Bible to justify his actions.

Thanks again for reading! I hope I was able to share a little lighter on the subject of domestic violence. There is help and hope after abuse. Reach out for the love and respect that you deserve. Keep moving forward!

Affirmation: I will not shrink.

***Don’t forget to watch the video!***

#Thispuzzledlife