Budtender Moment: Viper Crumble Strain Review

“Viper Crumble hit me so fast I thought a cottonmouth was side‑eyeing me from the azalea bushes again. But it was just my anxiety slithering away.”

-Piper “Snake Whisperer”, Unofficial Yard Patrol Captain

Light the citronella candle, put on your yard shoes, and tell Piper to stop pawing at the screen door like she’s ready to fight wildlife. Today’s Budtender Moment is a full‑on Deep South summer survival guide disguised as a strain review. We’re talking Viper Crumble, the strain that strikes quick, coils around your stress, and drags it off into the woods like a reptile with a mission. Tap the bowl three times. Check the porch for snakes. Whisper, “Not today, Satan,” as you spark it.

Viper Crumble is typically a sativa‑leaning hybrid known for its fast onset, bright energy, and “I suddenly feel like cleaning the pantry” motivation. Genetics vary by grower, but most versions come from Viper × Crumble Cake or similar high‑energy, citrus‑forward hybrids. Viper is a cross between Burmese Landrace × Blackseed. Crumble Cake is a cross between American Pie × (Jaeger × Skunk Dog) × Wedding Cake.

Viper Crumble doesn’t just hit. It lunges. This is the strain that shows up wearing camo shorts, holding a gas station slushie, and saying, “Sweetheart, it’s too hot to be stressed. Let me handle this.” It’s sharp. It’s sneaky. It’s the emotional venom extractor you didn’t know you needed. And if you’ve lived through a Mississippi July, you already know: When the heat rises, the snakes get bold. So does this strain.

Viper Crumble is typically a sativa‑leaning hybrid. And strains in this category, especially those rich in limonene, pinene, caryophyllene, and myrcene tend to offer a very specific set of reported therapeutic effects. Patients report relief from low energy, stress, mental fog, daytime fatigue, and that “I’m melting and everything irritates me” feeling. It’s a perfect strain for hot days, chores, creativity, or simply sitting on the porch judging the weather. Together, they create a strain that hits fast, lifts quick, and keeps your senses sharp. And it’s  perfect for a climate where even the reptiles are clocked in and ready for foolishness.

1. The Strike

It hits fast. It’s like stepping outside and immediately being slapped by humidity. Your brain wakes up. Your mood lifts. You suddenly remember every chore you’ve ignored since Easter.

2. The Slither

Euphoria winds through your chest slowly and smoothly. Thoughts loosen. You feel lighter, brighter, and slightly mischievous. Coco walks by and you swear she’s scouting for snakes like she’s on payroll.

3. The Shed

Your stress peels off like old skin. Your shoulders drop. You feel refreshed, alert, and ready to face the heat index like a seasoned Southerner who knows better than to walk barefoot in the yard.

When the Deep South gets hot, and I mean “air so thick you could butter it” hot, the snakes get active. They sun. They roam. They show up where they do not belong, like under porch steps, in flower beds, in the Dollar General parking lot, and once, famously, inside someone’s dryer vent (we don’t talk about that).

Viper Crumble is the Deep South summer strain for anyone who needs clarity, energy, and a little reptile‑level alertness. It’s bright, fast, and beautifully sharp. And the kind of high that makes you feel like you can handle the heat, the humidity, and whatever slithers across your path. But unlike the real reptiles, this one is here to help. Please keep in mind that each grow will be different and the flower’s effects will differ depending on which region of the country that the plant is grown. Thanks for reading! Keep blazin.

Affirmation: I stay sharp, steady, and unbothered. Even when the heat rises.

***Don’t forget to watch the video!***

#Thispuzzledlife

Budtender Moment: Dank OG Concentrate Strain

“Some strains relax you. Dank OG unplugs you and plugs you back in at 50% brightness.”

-This Puzzled Life

 Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. Crack your knuckles. Clear your schedule. And maybe put your phone on Do Not Disturb. This one’s thick, sticky, and spiritually committed to humbling you. Today, I want to talk to you about a strain that represents the funk that we will be discussing this month. And it’s a strain that’s concentrated called Dank OG.

Dank OG as a concentrate is not here to play. Flower Dank OG already walks around with that “I’ve seen some things” energy. But once you turn it into wax, badder, rosin, or shatter, it becomes the strain equivalent of a Southern auntie who takes off her earrings before she speaks. This is old‑school gas turned into a modern‑day thunderclap.

Dank OG comes from the legendary OG Kush line. The backbone of half the gas-heavy strains people swear by today. The lineage for this strain is OG Kush × Unknown Kush Hybrid. This is the family tree of strains that smell like they were raised in a garage. Taught discipline by a mechanic. Is blessed by a pine forest. And has that classic “sit down before you fall down” energy.

The terpene Profile consists of Myrcene, Limonene, Caryophyllene, and Pinene. Concentrates amplify everything. The aroma, the flavor, the punch, and the personality. Dank OG’s terpene profile hits like a gospel choir of gas. In concentrate form, these terpenes don’t whisper. They testify.

Dank OG concentrate tastes like someone bottled the smell of a gas station parking lot after a summer rain and then added pine needles for decoration. The flavor profile are made up of heavy diesel, deep earth, sharp pine, a warm, peppery finish, and that unmistakable OG “who turned up the gravity” aftertaste. This is not a dessert strain. This is a “wipe your tools on your jeans and get back to work” strain. Dank OG concentrate hits with the force of a memory you forgot you had. This is also a couch-lock classic. A “don’t make plans” strain. A “why does my blanket feel emotional” strain.

Patients often reach for Dank OG concentrates when they need relief from chronic pain, stress and anxiety, insomnia, muscle tension, overthinking, post-socializing exhaustion, and that feeling where your brain won’t stop narrating your life. The concentrate form makes these effects faster, stronger, and longer lasting.

Dank OG branded concentrates have placed in regional concentrate competitions, often recognized for Best Solvent Concentrate, Best Rosin, and Best Hybrid Extract. Dank OG carries the same award‑winning terpene backbone that judges (and seasoned smokers) consistently fall in love with. It’s that gas, pine, earth, and that unmistakable OG punch. 

Each batch of Dank OG, like any cannabis strain, can have slight differences depending on how it’s grown, harvested, cured, and extracted. Terpenes shift. Potency shifts. The vibe shifts. That’s part of the magic. And Dank OG itself has earned recognition in concentrate categories across multiple regional competitions. Its lineage, especially OG Kush, is where the trophy case really starts overflowing. Thanks for reading! And keep blazin.’

Affirmation: I honor the rest my body asks for, even when the world demands more.

***Don’t forget to watch the video!***

#Thispuzzledlife

Budtender Moment: Gas Face Strain Review

“I’m not high, I’m just extremely motivated to sit very still.”

-Unknown

Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. Today, I want to tell you about a strain called Gas Face.

Gas Face is a 70/30 indica-dominant hybrid that is a cross between Face Mints x Biscotti x Sherbet. Face Mints is a cross between Face Off OG x Kush Mints. Biscotti is a cross  between Gelato #25 x South Florida OG. Sherbet (Sunset Sherbet) is a cross between Girl Scout Cookies x Pink Panty. The gassiness in the name is very pronounced in the strain. There is an overtone of diesel flavoring.

Top terpenes for this strain are Limonene, Myrcene and Caryophyllene. Patients report relief from stress, chronic pain, insomnia, and anxiety. From the gassy inhale this strain is a good one. That indica part of the genetics will hit hard. And “couchlock” is very possible. And for some bad anxiety, relief will be very quickly headed your way. 

Affirmation: I deserve calm moments without explanation.

***Don’t forget to watch the video!***

#Thispuzzledlife

Budtender Moment: Chronic Boom Strain Review

“Chronic Boom hit me so hard I thought the fireworks started early. But it was just my serotonin returning from war.”

 -Darla Jean “Stars‑and‑Sighs” McCoy, Unofficial Firework Safety Officer

Light the grill. Salute the sky. And tell Piper to stop chewing the tiny American flag again. We’re about to drop a full‑on Independence Day Budtender Moment for Chronic Boom. The strain that celebrates freedom by blowing up your stress like a backyard firework that may or may not be legal in Mississippi. Tap the bowl three times. Pledge allegiance to your peace. Whisper “let freedom ring” as you spark it.

Chronic Boom doesn’t just hit. It liberates. This is the strain that shows up wearing red‑white‑and‑blue Crocs, holding a sparkler, and saying, “Sweetheart, we’re overthrowing your anxiety today.” It’s patriotic. It’s chaotic. It’s the emotional emancipation proclamation you didn’t know you needed.

Chronic Boom is typically a balanced hybrid, leaning slightly indica‑dominant depending on the breederIt’s typically a cross between Chronic x Boom. Chronic is a cross between Northern Lights × Skunk × AK‑47. Boom is a cross between (Blueberry × OG Kush) × (Chemdawg × Skunk). And with all of that in there, there’s no way that this strain could fail. Together, they create a hybrid that feels like Thomas Jefferson wrote a Declaration of Chill.

Top terpenes for this strain are Limonene, Myrcene, Caryophyllene, and PinenePatients report relief from stress, low mood, fatigue, mild pain, and that “I’m one inconvenience away from seceding” feeling. It hits in phases that feel suspiciously like a patriotic parade. The Anthem Your brain stands up straight and salutes. You feel alert, lifted, and ready to declare independence from nonsense. The Fireworks Euphoria pops off in your chest like a grand finale. Everything is funny. Even the cat judging you. The Afterglow Warm body melt. Shoulders drop. You whisper, “I am my own country now.”

Chronic Boom is the Independence Day strain for anyone who wants to laugh, relax, and overthrow their inner tyrant. It’s bold, bright, and beautifully chaotic. And just like a Southern July 4th where someone inevitably yells, “Y’all watch this!” Please keep in mind that each grow will be different and the flower’s effects will differ depending on which region of the country that the plant is grown. Thanks for reading! Keep blazin.’

Affirmation: I release what weighs me down and celebrate the freedom to feel good.

***Don’t forget to watch the video!***

#Thispuzzledlife

Budtender Moment: GMO Infused Preroll Review

“This preroll hit me so hard I forgot what I was mad about and who I was mad at.”

-This Puzzled Life

Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy, go away. Now that the vibes are cleansed and the ancestors have been notified. Because we’re about to talk about the GMO infused preroll. It’s the funky little garlic‑diesel diva that shows up uninvited and still becomes the life of the party.

If you’ve ever wanted a preroll that smells like a garlic knot got into a bar fight with a diesel truck and walked away victorious, this is your moment. GMO doesn’t just relax you. It folds you like warm laundry and whispers, “Sweetheart, sit down before you hurt yourself.”

GMO aka Garlic Cookies is an indica-dominant strain. It is a cross between Girl Scout Cookies × Chemdawg. GSC is the glamorous troublemaker born from Durban Poison x OG Kush Chemdawg is legendary, mysterious, and messy. It’s like a Southern family reunion where nobody agrees on who’s related to who. This is the accepted origin story. Unknown Colorado “Dog bud” × Unknown high‑potency mystery strain (Yes, really. The genetics are famously undocumented, debated, and wrapped in lore.) Chemdawg is the parent of Diesel strains, OG Kush lines, and half the modern cannabis family tree. It’s the funky, fuel‑soaked granddaddy of chaos. You’re basically smoking Durban Poison’s uplift, OG Kush’s heavy relaxation And Chemdawg’s diesel funk and brain‑melting potency. No wonder GMO tastes like garlic sautéed in a mechanic’s garage and hits like a spiritual intervention. With the flavor profile being garlic, earth, diesel, and “this tastes like a delicious felony,” you know it has to be good.

The major terpenes in this strain are Caryophyllene, Myrcene, Limonene, and Humulene. Patients report relief from stress and anxiety, pain reduction, sleep support, and appetite boost (even though humulene tries to fight it like a tiny mall cop). And trust me, you’ll sleep. And COUCH LOCK ALERT!

The GMO infused preroll is for the brave, the tired, and the spiritually overbooked. Light it, breathe deep, and let the garlic‑diesel goddess tuck you into the softest mental blanket you’ve ever known. Please keep in mind that each grow will be different and the flower’s effects will differ depending on which region of the country that the plant is grown. Thanks for reading! Keep blazin.’

Affirmation: “I am calm, I am grounded, and I am absolutely unavailable for nonsense while this GMO settles my spirit.”

***Don’t forget to watch the video!***

#Thispuzzledlife

Budtender Moment: Blueberry x Pink Nerdz Infused Preroll Review

“This strain hit me so soft and sweet I thought somebody had replaced my stress with a bag of Dollar General candy and told me to hush.”

-This Puzzled Life

 Light the porch lantern. Grab your insulated cup. And tell Piper to stop acting like she’s about to file a complaint with the HOA. Today’s Budtender Moment is a fruit‑snack fever. And for my transgender friends, this strain has you covered in blue and pink.

We’re talking about an infused preroll known simply as Blueberry × Pink Nerdz. It’s a strain that walks into your life smelling like childhood sugar highs and adult emotional stability. It’s sweet. It’s soothing. It’s the kind of high that makes you want to sit on the porch and narrate the neighborhood like you’re filming a documentary. Whisper, “Let the sweetness take me,” as you spark it.

This strain doesn’t just hit. It melts. It slides into your system like a fruit‑flavored cloud and says, “Sweetheart, we’re not stressing today.” Blueberry is an indica‑dominant hybrid created in the 1970s by legendary breeder DJ Short. Its confirmed lineage is Afghani (Indica Landrace), Thai (Sativa Landrace), and Purple Thai. Pink Nerdz is a balanced hybrid created by crossing Zkittlez × White Runtz. Zkittlez is a cross between Grape Ape × Grapefruit × (Undisclosed Third Parent). White Runtz is a cross between Gelato × Zkittlez. And this powerful little combo is further intensified from having some good concentrate that is infused in the bud. This strain goes through a few stages.

Top terpenes in this strain are Myrcene, Pinene, Caryophyllene, Linalool and Limonene. Patients report relief from stress, low mood, emotional fatigue, mild physical tension, evening relaxation, creative focus. This strain  combo goes through three different stages.

1. The Sugar Rush It hits quick. Like opening a fresh pack of Nerds and immediately regretting nothing. Your mood lifts. Your brain brightens. You suddenly feel like you could reorganize the pantry and enjoy it.

2. The Berry Drift Euphoria settles slowly and warm. Thoughts loosen. Your shoulders drop. Coco walks by and you swear she smells like fruit snacks.

3. The Soft Landing Your body softens. Your mind steadies. You feel like a blueberry marshmallow floating through life unbothered. You are calm. You are sweet. You are not available for nonsense.

People love this strain for helping with stress, low mood, emotional fatigue, mild aches, creative blocks, and that “I need to sit down and breathe for a minute” feeling. It’s a perfect evening strain. It’s cozy, flavorful, and steady.

This Blueberry × Pink Nerdz hybrid is the strain for anyone who needs sweetness, calm, and a little candy‑coated confidence. It’s soothing, flavorful, and beautifully balanced. And the kind of high that makes you feel like you’re wrapped in a warm, fruity blanket. Please keep in mind that sometimes the genetics and terpene vary depending on the grow. Thanks for reading! Keep blazin.’

Affirmation: I welcome sweetness, calm, and the soft moments that carry me.

***Don’t forget to watch the video!***

#ThisPuzzledLife

Budtender Moment: Poon Tang Strain Review

“Some joys don’t whisper. They strut in fruity, loud, and unbothered. That’s the kind you deserve.”

-This Puzzled Life

Light the charcoal and clear the air. We’re summoning joy, not negotiating with nonsense. Pride is in the room, the smoke is rising like a prayer for joy we forgot we deserved, and Poon Tang is already sashaying in like a loud, fruity cousin wearing rainbow glitter and carrying possibly‑infused fruit salad. This isn’t a strain you “try.” This is a strain you announce, the same way you’d step onto a Pride float wearing citrus perfume and generational healing.

Poon Tang aka Poon Tang Pie is a three‑way hybrid pulling the best from each parent Tropicana, Grape Pie, and Papaya. Tropicana is a cross between Tangie × Girl Scout Cookies. Grape Pie is a cross between Cherry Pie × Grape Stomper. And Papaya is a cross between Citral #13 × Ice #2. That’s why it hits fruity, tropical, creamy, and loud enough to make a rainbow blush. Let’s be honest, some strains are straight. This one? Absolutely not.

Poon Tang Pie is a Pride Month strain through and through. It’s fruity in the best possible way. It’s uplifting without knocking you out. It’s perfect for marching, mingling, flirting, dancing, or wandering around trying to remember where your water bottle went. And it’s warm, social, and connective. It’s the kind of high that makes you hug your friends and tell them you’re proud of them. It tastes like joy, resistance, sweetness, and showing up fully expressed. No shrinking. No dimming. No “maybe I should tone it down.” Just loud, fruity, unapologetic Pride.

Top terpenes in this strain are Limonene, Myrcene, Caryophyllene, Terpinolene, and  Ocimene. Patients report relief from stress, mood elevation, appetite support, and mild body relaxation It’s not a sedative. It’s a soother. The kind that helps you hydrate, set boundaries, and unclench both your jaw and your generational trauma.

It’s a Pride strain because it reminds you of this truth: You deserve sweetness, softness, and joy. Not just in June, but every damn day. May your bowl be full, your snacks be plentiful, and your peace be non-negotiable.Please keep in mind that each grow will be different and the flower’s effects will differ depending on which region of the country that the plant is grown. Thanks for reading! Keep blazin.’

Affirmation: I welcome sweetness without apology, joy without shrinking, and pleasure without permission. I am allowed to take up space in full color.

***Don’t forget to watch the video!***

#Thispuzzledlife

Budtender Moment: Bubba’s Wedding Strain Review

“Sometimes the most productive thing you can do is relax.”

  -Mark Black

Light the sage. Hide the good towels. Something blessed and slightly irresponsible is about to happenAnd as a member of the LGBTQ+ community, I love celebrating our right to marry legally. And really, we don’t know how long that will last. Today’s Budtender Moment is dedicated to Bubba’s Wedding.

It’s a strain that feels like somebody spiked the punch bowl with relaxation and then told you to “just vibe, darlin’.” This strain doesn’t walk into the room. It stumbles in, hugs everybody too long, and immediately asks where the food is.

Bubba’s Wedding is an indica-dominant strain. It is a cross between Bubba Kush × Wedding Cake. Bubba Kush is a cross between OG Kush × Unknown Indica. Wedding Cake is a cross between Triangle Kush × Animal Mints. A match made in cannabis heaven and probably officiated by somebody’s cousin who got ordained online at 2 a.m. Together, they create a strain that says, “Sit down, breathe, and don’t start no mess.”

This strain hits like a slow‑motion hug from an uncle who calls you “champ” even if you’re 40. And the effects of this strain are deep relaxation, mood lift, a gentle mental fog that makes everything feel like it has soft edges, and he sudden urge to sit down “just for a second” and wake up 45 minutes later feeling reborn. It’s the perfect strain for when you want to unwind but still maintain enough dignity to answer the door.

Top terpenes in this strain are Myrcene Caryophyllene Limonene, Linalool, and Humulene. Patients report relief from stress, anxiety, pain, sleep support, and emotional recovery after dealing with family group texts. It’s the strain that says, “You’re safe. Drink some water.” And that’s Bubba’s Wedding. The strain that shows up with a casserole, fixes your mood, and then falls asleep on your couch like it pays rent. If this strain had a motto, it would be: “Bubba’s Wedding, cause sometimes you need a break from your own personality.” Now go hydrate, stretch your back, and try not to start any arguments with appliances today.

Please keep in mind that each grow will be different and the flower’s effects will differ depending on which region of the country that the plant is grown. Thanks for reading! Keep blazin.’

Affirmation: I release the tension I don’t need and welcome the peace I deserve.

***Don’t forget to watch the video!***

#Thispuzzledlife

Budtender Moment: Titty Sprinkles Strain Review

“If self‑discovery had a flavor, it would taste like glitter, electrolytes, and a strain that whispers, ‘Girl, breathe. Your hormones are doing the most, but so are you.’”

-This Puzzled Life

Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. Today’s Budtender Moment is about a strain that started out helping breast cancer patients. And with more identity shifts than a Southern church lady who “doesn’t gossip” but somehow knows everybody’sbusiness. then get And shows up at the Pride celebration wearing rhinestone booty shorts and yelling, “Who needs hydration, I brought electrolytes!” This strain didn’t just evolve. It transitioned into its final form as a supportive, glitter‑covered auntie who knows your pronouns, your trauma, and your snack preferences.

Titty Sprinkles is an indica-dominant hybrid. It’s a cross between Pink Kush x Unknown high‑potency indica parent (breeders keep this one locked up like family secrets at Thanksgiving). Pink Kush was passed around as a clone-only cut that no original seed breeder claimed. But it looks like it’s a phenotype of OG Kush. Companies later made Pink Kush seeds. However, they are usually S1 selfed versions, backcrosses to OG Kush, and Pink Kush x something else. No exacts are  known for this strain.

Originally bred to help women and femmes battling breast cancer, this strain was designed for pain, relief, nausea control, emotional steadiness, and the kind of comfort only a plant with a PhD in nurturing can provide. It was medicinal. It was noble. It was the Mother Teresa of cannabis. Then the queer community discovered it. And now she  suddenly she had a new job description. You know how queer folks do, we find something healing, supportive, and emotionally stabilizing, and we say, “Yes, this is ours now. We will cherish her. We will rename her. We will give her a personality.” And this strain said, “Bet.”

Now she’s out here supporting folks on feminizing hormone therapy, whispering “Girl, breathe.” “Your emotions are valid.” “Yes, you cried at a commercial about a dog. That’s growth.” “Your chest feels tender because your body is blooming. Let’s celebrate.” She went from chemo companion to Pride grand marshal without missing a beat.

Anyone who’s ever taken estrogen knows the emotional landscape becomes A rollercoaster, A renaissance, A telenovela, A baptism, And A Beyoncé album. And this strain? She’s the herbal auntie who shows up with snacks, tissues, and a folding fan. She helps with mood swings, tenderness, anxiety, The “Did I take my meds or did I hallucinate that?” panic, And the general emotional sparkle of becoming who you truly are. She’s not judging. She’s not rushing you. She’s just vibing and validating.

The top terpenes for this strain are Myrcene, Caryophyllene, and Limonene. Together, these terpenes create a profile that’s soothing, slightly sweet, and emotionally stabilizing. And it’s  perfect for folks needing comfort, grounding, or a moment of peace. Medical benefits include relief from chronic pain, muscle tension, nausea, stress,  anxiety, insomnia, and  emotional regulation. It’s a strain that says, “Baby, whatever your body is going through, I’m right here.” This strain now holds two passports, medical cannabis for breast cancer patients and emotional support plant for trans women, nonbinary femmes, and anyone on feminizing hormones. She’s the only strain I know that can help with post‑chemo nausea, calm estrogen‑induced existential spirals, And still say, “Let’s go get a slushie and talk about our gender euphoria” She’s versatile. She’s compassionate. She’s booked and blessed.

Pride is about survival, transformation, community care, reclaiming joy, And honoring every version of ourselves. This strain has been doing that work since day one. She supported women fighting cancer. Now she supports folks fighting for their right to exist authentically. She didn’t change. She expanded. She said, “My love is big enough for all of you.” And honestly? That’s the most Pride‑appropriate energy imaginable.

That’s the story of how a medicinal saint became a queer icon. From oncology wards to Pride floats, this strain said, “I can help your body heal and hype you up while you cry at a cat video and versatility, baby.” Now go forth, hydrate, moisturize, and let this strain hold your hand like a supportive drag mother who refuses to let you dim your light.

Please keep in mind that each grow will be different and the flower’s effects will differ depending on which region of the country that the plant is grown. Thanks for reading! Keep blazin.’

Affirmation: “I honor every version of myself. The past, present, and blooming. I am becoming louder, brighter, queerer, and more unbothered by the minute.”

***Don’t forget to watch the video!***

#Thispuzzledlife

Budtender Moment: Bat Shit Strain Review

“Bat Shit isn’t just a strain. It’s the moment your brain throws its hands up, laughs, and decides to take the scenic route back to sanity.”

 -Jenna “Highway to Chill” Morales, Cannabis Humorist & Accidental Philosopher

Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. Alright, let’s talk about a strain that does not care about your intentions, your plans, or your to‑do list. Bat Shit shows up like it’s been waiting in the parking lot revving its engine, ready to drag you into whatever nonsense it has planned. This is not a polite strain. This is a strain that kicks the door open like, “Who touched the thermostat?”

It’s Mental Health Awareness Month, and honestly, there has never been a better time to talk about a strain named Bat Shit. If there were ever a phrase that perfectly captures the moment when your brain quietly unplugs itself and walks off the job, it’s this one.

Bat Shit is the ultimate description of losing mental control. Not in a scary way, but in that “my thoughts just left the building without clocking out” kind of way. This strain doesn’t just nudge your mind off the rails; it hands your brain a tiny suitcase, waves goodbye, and wishes it luck on its journey. You know you’re about to experience something that understands chaos on a spiritual level. Bat Shit doesn’t arrive politely. It shows up like it’s been waiting in the parking lot revving its engine, ready to drag you into whatever nonsense it has planned.

Bat Shit is the love child of two strains that probably should’ve never been left alone together. It’s usually described as a cross between Gorilla Glue #4 x Durban Poison. Which explains why it feels like someone duct‑taped a rocket booster to a recliner. Gorilla Glue is a cross between Chem’s Sister x Sour Dubb x Chocolate Diesel. Durban Poison is a pure African Landrace Sativa from Durban, South Africa. That’s it. No chaotic crossbreeding. No dramatic lineage. Just a true landrace, meaning it evolved naturally in its native region over generations.

Top terpenes in bat shit are Myrcene, Limonene, Caryophyllene, and Pinene. Patients report relief from stress & anxiety, mood elevation, pain and inflammation, and fatigue. Some strains whisper. Some strains nudge. Bat Shit does neither. This strain busts through the door like it’s late for a meeting it wasn’t invited to, holding a gas station coffee and announcing, “Alright, who messed up the vibe in here?”

The moment I cracked the jar, the aroma hit me with the same force as opening a forgotten Tupperware in the back of the fridge. I knew immediately that whatever happened next, I would not be in charge. This strain has the energy of someone who shows up to your house, asks where the bathroom is, and somehow ends up reorganizing your pantry. Bat Shit does not ease you in. It hits like a plot twist in a show you weren’t even watching.

This is the strain that makes you forget what you were doing, why you were doing it, and whether you ever actually started. It’s is the friend who convinces you to rearrange your furniture at 2 a.m., then leaves halfway through because they “just remembered something.” You’ll be confused, entertained, and slightly concerned. But you’ll also be having a great time.

If you want a strain that delivers laughter, chaos, and a temporary break from being a functioning adult, Bat Shit is the one. Just don’t expect to remember where you put anything afterward. Please keep in mind that each grow will be different and the flower’s effects will differ depending on which region of the country that the plant is grown. Thanks for reading! Keep blazin.’

Affirmation: “I rise in my queerness, I breathe in my peace, and I stay lifted in a joy so loud and unapologetic that even the universe has to adjust its crown.”

***Don’t forget to watch the video!***

#Thispuzzledlife