Budtender Moment: Bat Shit Strain Review

“Bat Shit isn’t just a strain. It’s the moment your brain throws its hands up, laughs, and decides to take the scenic route back to sanity.”

 -Jenna “Highway to Chill” Morales, Cannabis Humorist & Accidental Philosopher

Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. Alright, let’s talk about a strain that does not care about your intentions, your plans, or your to‑do list. Bat Shit shows up like it’s been waiting in the parking lot revving its engine, ready to drag you into whatever nonsense it has planned. This is not a polite strain. This is a strain that kicks the door open like, “Who touched the thermostat?”

It’s Mental Health Awareness Month, and honestly, there has never been a better time to talk about a strain named Bat Shit. If there were ever a phrase that perfectly captures the moment when your brain quietly unplugs itself and walks off the job, it’s this one.

Bat Shit is the ultimate description of losing mental control. Not in a scary way, but in that “my thoughts just left the building without clocking out” kind of way. This strain doesn’t just nudge your mind off the rails; it hands your brain a tiny suitcase, waves goodbye, and wishes it luck on its journey. You know you’re about to experience something that understands chaos on a spiritual level. Bat Shit doesn’t arrive politely. It shows up like it’s been waiting in the parking lot revving its engine, ready to drag you into whatever nonsense it has planned.

Bat Shit is the love child of two strains that probably should’ve never been left alone together. It’s usually described as a cross between Gorilla Glue #4 x Durban Poison. Which explains why it feels like someone duct‑taped a rocket booster to a recliner. Gorilla Glue is a cross between Chem’s Sister x Sour Dubb x Chocolate Diesel. Durban Poison is a pure African Landrace Sativa from Durban, South Africa. That’s it. No chaotic crossbreeding. No dramatic lineage. Just a true landrace, meaning it evolved naturally in its native region over generations.

Top terpenes in bat shit are Myrcene, Limonene, Caryophyllene, and Pinene. Patients report relief from stress & anxiety, mood elevation, pain and inflammation, and fatigue. Some strains whisper. Some strains nudge. Bat Shit does neither. This strain busts through the door like it’s late for a meeting it wasn’t invited to, holding a gas station coffee and announcing, “Alright, who messed up the vibe in here?”

The moment I cracked the jar, the aroma hit me with the same force as opening a forgotten Tupperware in the back of the fridge. I knew immediately that whatever happened next, I would not be in charge. This strain has the energy of someone who shows up to your house, asks where the bathroom is, and somehow ends up reorganizing your pantry. Bat Shit does not ease you in. It hits like a plot twist in a show you weren’t even watching.

This is the strain that makes you forget what you were doing, why you were doing it, and whether you ever actually started. It’s is the friend who convinces you to rearrange your furniture at 2 a.m., then leaves halfway through because they “just remembered something.” You’ll be confused, entertained, and slightly concerned. But you’ll also be having a great time.

If you want a strain that delivers laughter, chaos, and a temporary break from being a functioning adult, Bat Shit is the one. Just don’t expect to remember where you put anything afterward. Please keep in mind that each grow will be different and the flower’s effects will differ depending on which region of the country that the plant is grown. Thanks for reading! Keep blazin.’

Affirmation: “I rise in my queerness, I breathe in my peace, and I stay lifted in a joy so loud and unapologetic that even the universe has to adjust its crown.”

***Don’t forget to watch the video!***

#Thispuzzledlife

Budtender Moment: Banana Revenge Strain Review

“They criminalized the plant and monetized the trauma.”

-Unknown

Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. Today, I want to tell you about a refreshing strain called Banana’s Revenge.

Banana Revenge is a sativa-dominant strain. It is a cross between Apples & Bananas x Pablo’s Revenge. Apples & Bananas is a cross between Platinum Cookies x Grandaddy Purple x Blue Power x Gelati. Pablo’s Revenge is a cross of Animal Mints x Sherbet Cake. It has a very fruity taste profile. It’s an enjoyable strain for daytime use. And it has enough indica influence to make sure you don’t have the jitters that some sativas are known to cause.

Top terpenes in this strain are Limonene, Caryophyllene, Pinene, and Myrcene. Patients report medical benefits with mood swings, anxiety, stress, focus, creativity, and mild pain relief. Please keep in mind that each grow will be different and the flower effects, terpenes and genetics will differ depending on which region of the country that the plant is grown. Thanks for reading! Keep blazin.’

Affirmation: I choose what supports my well-being.

***Don’t forget to watch the video!***

#Thispuzzledlife

Budtender Moment: Mango Mintality Strain Review

“Still here. Still healing. Still rolling.”

-Unknown

Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. Today, I want to tell you about a strain that is perfect for mental health awareness. Its name is Mango Mintality.

Mango Mintality is a 70/30 indica-dominant hybrid. It is a cross between Gush Mintz x Mango Haze. Gush Mintz is a cross between Kush Mints x F1 Durb x Gushers. Mango Haze is s cross between Skunk x Northern Lights #5 x Haze. This strain is said to have a predominant mango flavor. I, however, taste the mint as the dominant flavor.

Top terpenes in this strain are B-Myrcene, Guaiol, and Eucalyptol. Guaiol is a terpene that’s responsible for anti-inflammatory, antioxidant, and anxiolytic effects. Typically, it’s used as a medicine that treats arthritis and gout. Eucalyptol is a terpene that is also used as an anti-inflammatory and respiratory support. 

Patients report relief from stress, depression, mood swings, appetite loss, and nausea. Even though this strain is considered very indica-dominant, this is a strain that I can use during the day. And it will definitely give you a nice attitude adjustment that both you and others will appreciate. Please keep in mind that each grow will be different and the flower effects, terpenes and genetics will differ depending on which region of the country that the plant is grown. Thanks for reading! Keep blazin.’

Affirmation: Creativity flows through me without force.

***Don’t forget to watch the video!***

#Thispuzzledlife

When the Strain Is Stronger Than the Anxiety Spiral: 2026’s Guide to Calm

“Peace isn’t passive. It’s chosen. Rolled. Lit. And inhaled with intention.”

-This Puzzled Life

Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Today we’re cleansing the air, the mood, and the nervous system with 2026’s top strains for anxiety. Plus, the classic OGs that have been calming folks since back when we all thought Myspace was forever. Welcome to my 2026 Anxiety-Friendly Strain Forecast. Where we honor Southern chaos, generational nerves, and the sacred art of choosing weed that won’t have your heart beating like it’s trying to escape your chest.

Pink Rozay

(Lemonchello 10 × LPC75 (London Pound Cake #75)

Floral, smooth, and steady. Like someone finally turned the volume down on your thoughts.

Cadillac Rainbow

(Pure Michigan × Runtz)

Don’t let the name fool you. This hybrid is calming and grounded. And it melts tension like butter on a hot biscuit.

Snow Caps

(Snow White × Haze)

Cool, crisp, and mentally refreshing. When anxiety tries to act up, Snow Caps says, “Not today.”

Blue Zushi

(Zkittlez × Kush Mints)

A 2026 favorite for mood stabilization. Gentle, balanced, and perfect for “I need to calm down but still function.”

Gumbo

(Gummo × Guru (reported by Swamp Boys Seeds)

Sweet, heavy, grounding. Ideal for runaway thoughts that need to be sat down and given a talking-to.

CLASSIC STRAINS FOR ANXIETY

These are the legends, the elders, and the strains that raised us.

Granddaddy Purple

(Purple Urkle × Big Bud)

A weighted blanket in plant form. Perfect for nighttime nerves and overthinking.

Blue Dream

(Blueberry × Haze)

The universal crowd-pleaser. Smooth, uplifting, and dependable. It’s like the friend who always brings snacks.

Northern Lights

(Afghani Landrace Indica × Thai Landrace (Sativa influence)

A classic indica that shuts down spiraling thoughts like flipping a breaker switch.

White Widow

(Brazilian Sativa Landrace × South Indian Indica)

Balanced and steady. Great for daytime anxiety when you still need to be a functional adult.

Harlequin (CBD-heavy)

(Colombian Gold × Thai Landrace × Swiss Landrace)

This one is for the folks who want calm without the THC rollercoaster. Gentle, soothing, and reliable.

Experts across 2025–2026 keep repeating the same gospel about these strains. They have moderate THC. They have CBD or balanced THC:CBD ratios. And calming terpenes like linalool, myrcene, and beta-caryophyllene. If the strain sounds like it belongs at a rave, don’t smoke it before a dentist appointment.

Anxiety is dramatic. Give it the wrong sativa and it will start narrating your doom like it’s auditioning for a true-crime documentary. You’ve spent enough years letting your nervous system run around like a toddler with a Capri Sun. Enough nights lying awake replaying conversations from 2008. Enough mornings waking up already bracing for imaginary disasters.

Give it the right hybrid, though, and suddenly your brain is like, “Maybe we can go to Walmart today.” Let your anxiety know, “I’m choosing peace today. And the strain that helps me keep it. It says,  “Sit down. Mama’s medicating.” Choosing the right strain for anxiety isn’t just self‑care. It’s a whole ritual, a boundary, a declaration that your peace is no longer up for negotiation. Not in this house. Not with these herbs. Not with these ancestors watching.

This year, we’re choosing strains that soften the edges. Quiet the spirals. And remind your brain that it is, in fact, allowed to unclench. We’re choosing hybrids that don’t betray you. Classics that never stopped loving you. Terpenes that understand the assignment. We’re choosing calm on purpose.

Anxiety may be loud, but you? You are louder. You are older, wiser, and fully prepared to sage-smoke-pray-meditate your way into a softer season. Your peace is not fragile. Your calm is not accidental. Your healing is not a rumor. It’s a lifestyle. And every time you pick a strain that supports your spirit instead of sabotaging it, you’re telling the universe, “I choose me. I choose quiet. I choose ease. And I’ll be damned if anxiety gets the last word.”

Now gather your rolling tray, your lighter, your intention, and your boundaries. Take a breath so deep your ancestors nod in approval. And then with all the authority of a Southern auntie who has lived through some things. Let that anxiety know, “I’m calm on purpose. I’m peaceful by design. And I’m medicating accordingly. Now hush.” Stage cleared. Peace secured. Thanks for reading! Keep blazin.’

Affirmation: I honor my calm like a sacred ritual. I choose what soothes me. Supports me. And keeps my spirit steady. Anxiety does not run this house. I do.

***Don’t forget to watch the video!***

#ThisPuzzledLife

Budtender Moment: AK-47 Strain Review

“Some strains roar. Some strains whisper. AK‑47 just taps you on the shoulder and says, ‘Relax, sweetheart.’”

– This Puzzled Life

Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Tap the ash twice for the ancestors who absolutely did not expect you to be out here reading a strain review with this much chaotic Southern  energy. But here we are, thriving anyway. Today’s Budtender Moment is dedicated to a strain with a name so unnecessarily dramatic it sounds like it should come with a seatbelt and a liability waiver. And yet it’s one of the gentlest, most “baby, breathe” strains on the shelf. Welcome to AK‑47. The flower that sounds like a felony but feels like a weighted blanket.

AK‑47. A strain named like it wants to fight me in the parking lot of a Waffle House at 3 a.m. But it actually hits like a soft‑spoken librarian who just wants you to hydrate and stop overthinking your entire existence. If trauma had a dimmer switch, this strain would be the one gently turning it down while whispering, “Hush now, baby, we’re not doing all that today.” It walked in like a cousin who wasn’t invited to the cookout but somehow brought the best potato salad. You know the one that is  loud, chaotic, but beloved.

This strain is the botanical equivalent of a blended family that somehow gets along at Thanksgiving. It was created in the early 1990s by Serious Seeds, a Dutch seed company known for being meticulous, scientific, and just a little bit dramatic in the best way. The breeders wanted something uplifting, balanced, and reliable. And a strain that could hit the sweet spot between clarity and calm. So, they pulled genetics from all over the world like they were assembling the Avengers.

The breeders said the name came from its “one‑hit knockout” reputation. And not because it’s harsh or overwhelming, but because it delivers fast, noticeable effects with surprising smoothness. Like a gentle slap from someone who loves you. It’s one of the earliest successful multi‑continental hybrids. It helped define the modern hybrid era in the 90s. It became a competition darling, winning over a dozen awards. And its genetics influenced countless strains that came after it. AK‑47 is basically the Beyoncé of early hybrid breeding. It’s influential, consistent, and still relevant decades later. It tastes like a plant that’s been through things but came out wiser.

Top terpenes in this strain are Myrcene, Limonene, Caryophyllene, and Ocimene. Patients report relief from stress, anxiety, mild depression, focus & mental clarity, muscle tension, mild chronic pain, headaches, and social anxiety.

And that is AK‑47. The strain that sounds like a felony but behaves like a weighted blanket with a college degree. If you need me, I’ll be over here floating three inches above the couch cushions, contemplating absolutely nothing of importance while pretending I’m productive because my eyes are open. May your bowl be full, your peace be protected, and your group chats stay quiet. And remember: If anyone asks why you’re this calm, just tell them you’re practicing “radical Southern stillness.” Now go forth and inhale responsibly, you magnificent chaotic angel.

Please keep in mind that each grow will be different and the flower’s effects will differ depending on which region of the country that the plant is grown. Thanks for reading! Keep blazin.’

Affirmation: “I honor my mind, even on the days it feels like it’s doing donuts in a parking lot. I am still here, still steady, and still worthy of calm.”

***Don’t forget to watch the video!***

#Thispuzzledlife

Budtender Moment: Zero Gravity Strain Review

“Zero Gravity is that sacred moment when your spirit unhooks from the chaos and remembers how light it was meant to feel.”

-This Puzzled Life

Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy, go away. Today we’re talking about a strain that doesn’t just relax you. It elevates you. Zero Gravity is the cannabis equivalent of unhooking your bra, kicking off your shoes, and floating three inches above your own problems. It’s the strain you reach for when the world has been loud, messy, and entirely too people-forward. Zero Gravity doesn’t argue with you. It doesn’t negotiate. It simply says, “Baby, let’s rise.”

T.H. Seeds developed Zero Gravity, and its lineage traces back to the late 1990s. The mother strain, Gravity, began appearing in Amsterdam around 1999, distributed in small batches by legendary breeders Neville and Shanti Baba from Mr. Nice Seeds. Gravity was originally created for Sensi Seeds and traveled globally before returning to Amsterdam, where T.H. Seeds crossed it with a landrace Afghan indica to produce Zero Gravity.

To achieve that, they reached back into the old-school vault and pulled out two legends Hash Plant x Northern Lights #5. Hash plant is a cross between Afghani Landrace x Northern Lights #1. Northern Lights #5 is a cross between Afghani landrace x Hawaiian (Sativa). While the exact release date of Zero Gravity isn’t pinned to a single year, its roots stretch back to the early 2000s. Its genetic journey beginning in the late ’90s. Making it a strain with deep, globe-trotting heritage and a reputation for cosmic calm.

When these two came together, Zero Gravity was born. It’s a strain that quickly gained traction in medical markets for its ability to quiet the mind without knocking you out. Patients loved it. Budtenders recommended it. And soon enough, recreational consumers discovered it and said, “Oh, this is the one for when I want to float, not fold.” Over time, Zero Gravity became a cult favorite. The strain for people who want to feel weightless without losing themselves.

Top terpenes for this strain are Myrcene, Caryophyllene, and Limonene. Patients report relief from stress, anxiety, chronic pain, muscle tension, insomnia, and mood elevation. It’s the strain for when your brain needs a timeout and your body needs a hug. It’s the strain that reminds you that you don’t have to carry everything. You can float. You can rest. You can unplug from the noise and drift somewhere softer. It’s not just a high. It’s a reprieve. A moment of weightlessness in a world that loves to pull you down.

Zero Gravity isn’t just a strain. It’s a permission slip. A cosmic hall pass. A reminder that you don’t have to stay tethered to every worry, every expectation, every loud voice trying to rent space in your head. It doesn’t demand productivity. It doesn’t ask for performance. It simply offers peace. The kind that wraps around your body like a warm quilt and whispers, “You’re safe now.”Whether you’re healing, hiding, or just trying to make it through the day without cussing someone out at Dollar General, Zero Gravity is here to lift you. Not to escape. But to remember what it feels like to float.

Please keep in mind that each grow will be different and the flower’s effects will differ depending on which region of the country that the plant is grown. Thanks for reading! Keep blazin.’

Affirmation: I release the weight I was never meant to carry, and I rise soft, steady, and unbothered.

***Don’t forget to watch the video!***

#Thispuzzledlife

Budtender Moment: Suncake Strain Review

“High isn’t a destination. It’s a perspective.”

-Unknown

Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. Today, I want to tell you about a strain that is good for the time of year where we all begin enjoy the warm sun. This strain is called Suncake.

Suncake is a 60/40 indica-dominant hybrid. It is a cross between Sunset Sherbet x Wedding Cake. Sunset Sherbet is a cross between Girl Scout Cookies x Pink Panties. Wedding Cake is a cross between Triangle Kush x Animal Mints. It’s flavoring consists of a sweet, creamy, berry, vanilla cake, and tropical citrus. However, I just identified light citrus notes.

Top terpenes in this strain are Limonene, Caryophyllene, and Linalool. Patients report relief from conditions such as insomnia, chronic pain, appetite loss, nausea, chronic stress, depression, and mood swings. This strain I would call an easy and slightly indica dominant strain. Yes, you can use this during the day as long as you’re an experienced indica smoker. Novice smokers might enjoy this one better as night. Either way, it does not act real indica. The effects feel much more like a balanced hybrid with a nice elevation in mood.

Affirmation: I am a natural stoner.

***Don’t forget to watch the video!***

#Thispuzzledlife

Budtender Moment: Polar Plunge Strain Review

“Don’t kill my high because you’re low.”

-Unknown

Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy, go away. Welcome again! Today, I want to review a strain known as Polar Plunge. I thought that while we are in a cooler season of the year, I would pick one to reflect that.

Polar Plunge is an interesting strain. Parent strains are a cross between Early Riser x Ice Box Pie. Early Riser is a 50/50 hybrid. However, the exact lineage is unknown. Ice Box Pie is a 70/30 indica-dominant hybrid. The genetics are a cross between Wedding Cake x Freeworld Chem. This strain has a little more sativa than what I like. However, it’s not too much to induce anxiety. Thank you, indicas.

Patients report relief from depression, nausea, stress, mood swings, chronic fatigue, and pain relief. This strain would be a good one for lunch break. It feels like a good balance. If you are sensitive to sativas, make sure and use in moderation. The terpene profile for these strains are B-Caryophyllene, a-Humulene, B-Myrcene. THC percentage is about mid-range. Thanks for reading. Keep blazin’.

Affirmation: Full bowls. Clean bongs. Can’t lose.

***Don’t forget to watch the video!****

#Thispuzzledlife

Budtender Moment: Soul Assassin Strain Review

“I don’t smoke marijuana, but I eat it.”

-Bob Dylan

Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. Today, I want to tell you about a strain called Soul Assassin. As domestic violence awareness month winds down and seeing the damage that abuse can do to someone, I thought that the cannabis strain for today was absolutely perfect. Because of being trapped mentally or physically from seeking freedom, often times for years, it feels like the perpetrator has literally assassinated your soul. 

Soul Assassin is a heavy indica-dominant hybrid. Domestic violence is something heavy that is like a wrecking ball in the victim’s life. But this strain is heavy in regard to healing. It’s just what the doctor order for the overstimulation of PTSD. The genetics of this strain is a cross between OG Kush x Sour Diesel. Most like myself, who have been in the cannabis community for many years, know that these are a couple strains that many would consider staples. OG Kush is a cross between Hindu Kush x Lemon Thai x Chemdawg. Sour Diesel is a cross between  Northern Lights x Chemdawg.

The medical benefits associated with this strain include relief from insomnia, anxiety, mood disorders, stress, chronic pain, depression, and inflammation. The top terpenes are B-myrcene, terpinolene, B-Pinene. I got a lot of relief with this strain. I would also encourage you to plan on not going anywhere. As “couchlock” can be a reality. Thanks for reading! Keep blazin.’

Affirmation: I smoke my weed and mind my business.

***Don’t forget to watch the video!***

#Thispuzzledlife

Recovery?

Recovery?

5.23.2017

My views on recovery that always being possible had begun fading several months ago.  Sometimes I think that some people are just too broken to recover.  I would’ve never have believed it had I not been one that has put forth effort time and time again only for my efforts to be for nothing.  As much as I would love to have a cohesive and very well functioning “system,” the one in charge wants to kill me.  Force hugging is not working and seems to have made her even more mad.

I’m not sure how long this will last with her or if I’ll make it through yet another episode that I feel only inches from igniting.  I firmly believe that I will die shortly if something isn’t done.  I don’t know how to verbalize a need for help like this.  I’m scared but also just want everything to be over.  The thoughts of all of them to be over.  The excruciating body pains and migraines to finally be over.  The fear of everything in life.  The torture of food.  The uncontrollable mood swings, violence, controlling and intrusive thoughts almost continuously.

God how I scream in ways that people can’t understand!  Can’t you hear and see all of this?!!!  Please someone stop this???!!!!  You don’t understand.  I can’t open up out of fear for my own life.  Someone please help me.

I’m just tired of it all…..my life…..and theirs.

#Thispuzzledlife