LGBTQ+ Allies

darnold1975

I’ve Had It Podcast: The Southern Sass Survival Guide for Blue Dots in Red States

“Sometimes the only thing keeping me from losing my already lost religion is two Oklahoma women yelling about petty grievances.”

-This Puzzled Life

Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Invoke the ancestors. Preferably the messy ones. The ones who show up wearing house shoes. Clutching a gas‑station fountain drink. And whispering, “You’re gonna wanna sit down for this one.”

Because today, we gather in the sacred, humid, mosquito‑infested, spiritually charged arena to praise. Roast. And spiritually hydrate the chaotic holiness that is the I’ve Had It Podcast. The only place where two white liberal women from the red MAGA plains of Oklahoma have somehow built a sanctuary for every exhausted blue‑dot soul trying to survive in a country where people still proudly drink out of Stanley cups like it’s a personality trait. Let me set the table like MeeMaw used to that is loud. And with sweet tea strong enough to dissolve enamel.

Jennifer Welch and Angie “Pumps” Sullivan aren’t just podcasters. They are the patron saints of Petty Grievances. The matriarchs of Messy Liberation. And the spiritual mothers of every liberal woman trapped in a red state. While trying not to throat‑punch someone at the grocery store.

Jennifer, the sarcastically blunt atheist queen, speaks with the kind of clarity that only comes from years of saying, “No, actually, that is stupid” out loud. She’s the type of woman who could walk into a revival tent. Sneeze. And accidentally deconstruct someone’s entire theology. On a side note I’ll also say that she is an Olympic level Pickle Ball Champion like we’ve never seen before in the history of the world.

Then there’s Pumps. Lord help us all. Pumps is a recovering evangelical, the HBIC (Head Beaver In Charge), the teeny weenieologist, the MeeMaw Meat Curtains because she is much older than Jennifer. And apparently the patron saint of Asexuality in the Bible Belt. Her last sexual encounter was somewhere around 1,000 days ago. And Jennifer multiplies that number tenfold with each episode until the math starts giving Old Testament genealogy. We’re approaching, “And on the 40,000th day, Pumps rested.”

And presiding over this circus of holy chaos is Kiley. The beautiful lesbian gaytriot producer who keeps the entire operation from combusting. She’s the glue, the duct tape, the Queer Logistics Coordinator who ensures Jennifer and Pumps don’t accidentally start a small fire while recording. She produces the hilarious fuckery with the precision of a woman who knows exactly how chaotic these two can be.

As a white liberal sarcastic woman myself from the red MAGA state of Mississippi, these ladies have become my emotional support podcast. They take the isolation of wanting equal rights for everyone. While surrounded by neighbors who think democracy is optional. And turn it into a family. A loud, hilarious politically petty family that supports all marginalized groups and stands up for democracy. Despite the red hatred swirling around them.

And let me tell you. And their nicknames for politicians? Baby, they speak fluent Southern shade. People like Donald “Cankles McTaco Tits” Trump, Moses Mike Grindr Johnson, the late Lindsey “Lady” Graham, “Big Titty” Bryon Knoem, “Smokey-eyed sociopath” JD Vance, “Lyin’” Ted Cruz, Flamboyant Jesse “Lady” Waters with Fox News, Natalie “The Bunny Boiler” Harp, Markwayne “Booster Box” Mullin, and others. I heard that recently they both spoke with Mitch “Dead Not Dead” McConnell for twenty minutes from his life support rehabilitation unit. They roast public figures with the same energy my Aunt Linda uses when she says, “I’m not saying she’s trashy. But she does own a leopard‑print Bible cover.”

They expose the closetocracy, the folks who legislate against the very community they enjoy on weekends, with surgical precision and the comedic timing only two women who have truly had it can deliver. Are they crass? Yes. Do they speak my language? Absolutely. Do they have a low tolerance for stupidity? Honey, they have a negative tolerance.

And Pumps, sweet Pumps, if she would stop vaping like she’s trying to summon a Civil War ghost, Jennifer might finally unclench. And if she would please stop pooping in Styrofoam cups like she’s conducting a science fair project, the online audience would stop peeing on ourselves from laughing. Get it together, Pumps. At least the saggin’ dragons are secured.

These women have been my morning oxygen for over a year. They are my people that are  hilarious. And, at times, inappropriate. Unfiltered. Compassionate. And petty in all the right places. If you’re a prude. Easily offended. Or still clinging to conservative Christianity where some Christians use scripture as a mascot for cruelty, this is not your ministry.

But if you’re like me a blue dot in a red state. A queer person whose family can’t quite figure out acceptance. Or someone who needs laughter more than judgment. These ladies feel like home. They are the family I needed. The humor I craved. And the reminder that democracy is worth fighting for even when surrounded by folks who think Jesus rode a dinosaur. And if island living as a blue dot in a red state is what it takes, then baby, I’ll take my new family without question.

So let me say this with the full force of my ancestors, my sass, my trauma, my cats, and my last functioning nerve. The I’ve Had It Podcast isn’t just entertainment. It’s survival. It’s community. It’s the comedic resistance movement for every marginalized person living in a state where Hobby Lobby aisles are filled with people who think equality is a threat to their throw pillows.

Jennifer, Pumps, and Kiley have built a refuge for the tired, the queer, the liberal, the fed‑up, the chronically sarcastic, and the spiritually dehydrated. They’ve given us permission to laugh at the absurdity of our political landscape. To call out hypocrisy with humor. And to find joy in the middle of a country that feels like it’s being run by people who failed eighth‑grade civics. And who ate boogers and glue but never outgrew those behaviors.

I will be a loyal gaytriot as long as these ladies are around. I will follow them into the trenches of democracy, petty grievances, and Pumps’ colon‑control journey. I will take this island living. This blue dot existence. And choose my new family without hesitation.

Thank you, ladies, for your humor, your compassion, and your unapologetic refusal to tolerate bullshit in this tumultuous time. You are the laughter that keeps us fighting. CACAW!!!! Mic dropped. Floor cracked. Humidity rising. Ancestors hollering, “That’s Right, Baby!” Thanks for reading! Please tune in every day to the I’ve Had It podcast for political news with lots of humor.

Affirmation: I honor my truth, humor, identity, and my chosen family. I choose joy. I choose community. And I choose to laugh loudly. Even in the places that try to silence me.

***Don’t forget to watch the video!***

#ThisPuzzledLife

darnold1975

Why Does The Gay Community Keeps Getting Treated Like The Federal Government’s Emotional Support Scapegoat?

“If drag queens were dangerous, the Pentagon would’ve hired them already.”

-This Puzzled Life

Light the Charcoal. Sprinkle the Sage. This is a queer survival sermon for a country that keeps missing the point. And also, a sermon for the people in the back. But first we need to spiritually fumigate the room. The hypocrisy is thick. The contradictions are bold. And the political theater is so dramatic it deserves its own theme song.

Let the smoke rise like a Southern mama’s eyebrow when she hears someone say, “I’m not homophobic, but…” The “but” is always where the foolishness lives. And if the government spent half as much time fixing real problems as they do trying to regulate drag queens, pronouns, and who gets to pee where, this country would have free healthcare, affordable housing, a postal system that doesn’t lose your packages, and potholes filled with ethically sourced glitter.

But no. Instead, they’re out here acting like LGBTQIA+ people are a glitter‑powered militia plotting to overthrow the Republic with brunch menus and Beyoncé remixes. If queer people had that kind of power, the Capitol would’ve been redecorated in jewel tones and mood lighting decades ago.

Reason #1: We’re too fabulous to regulate

Bureaucracy loves order. It loves forms. It loves rules like “sign here, here, here, and also initial your soul.”But queer people? We show up like, “gender is more interesting than your filing cabinet.”, “no, I will not shrink myself to make you comfortable.” And “yes, this outfit is a political statement.” Trans folks especially break every boring little box the government tries to stuff people into. And nothing terrifies a bureaucracy more than a human being who refuses to be reduced to a checkbox.

Reason #2: Trans people expose the government’s worst fear. That identity is personal, not regulated

Trans people walk around every day proving that identity is self‑determined. Autonomy is real. Bodily freedom is non‑negotiable. And gender is not a federal highway with only two exits. That level of self‑possession shakes the table harder than a Pentecostal praise break.

Reason #3: We’re the easiest group to blame when they don’t want to talk about real problems

When the government doesn’t want to talk about healthcare, poverty, infrastructure, climate, wages, or why the DMV line is still 4 hours long. They go, “Quick! Hand me a queer person to blame!” It’s classic misdirection. It’s kind of like a magician. But instead of pulling a rabbit out of a hat, they pull out a bill restricting drag brunches.

Reason #4: The demonization is loud and the contradictions are louder

Let’s talk about the demonization of queer and trans people. The irony is so thick you could spread it on a biscuit. Some folks in the conservative political world will stand at a podium. Clutch a Bible like it’s a backstage pass to heaven. And declare that queer people are destroying America. And then turn around and behave in ways that would make a drag queen whisper, “Now baby, that’s between you and your therapist.”

It’s giving public morality, private chaos. And do as I say, not as I do. If hypocrisy were a sport, some of y’all would have Olympic medals.

Reason #5: Demonizing queer people while trying to sanitize harmful behavior elsewhere

Here’s where the sage needs to burn a little hotter. There’s a bizarre cultural pattern where some people loudly demonize LGBTQIA+ folks while simultaneously trying to downplay, excuse, or normalize harmful behavior in other areas that actually put children at risk. It’s the strangest double standard. A drag queen reading a book? “Danger!” Actual conversations about protecting kids from real harm? “Let’s not be dramatic.” It’s like living in a world where the smoke alarm goes off every time someone lights a birthday candle. But stays silent when the kitchen is actually on fire.

This contradiction isn’t about morality. It’s about distraction. It’s about misdirection. It’s about making sure nobody notices the real issues tap‑dancing in the background wearing tap shoes from Hobby Lobby.

Reason #6: Drag queens are too powerful

Drag queens have stage presence, community influence, sequins, microphones, and the ability to read a senator to filth without breaking a nail. The government knows if drag queens ever unionize, it’s over. The Pentagon cannot compete with a well‑timed death drop.

Reason #7: Queer joy is resistance

Queer people, especially trans folks, have mastered the art of joy in a world that keeps trying to dim them. That joy is political. That joy is rebellious. That joy is contagious. And nothing scares a system built on conformity more than people who refuse to be ashamed.

Reason #8: We don’t die quietly. We organize.

Every time the government tries to scapegoat the LGBTQIA+ community, queer folks respond with mutual aid, court challenges, community networks, fundraisers, marches, and a drag show themed “You Tried It, But We’re Still Here.” We don’t disappear. We get louder, smarter, and more fabulous.

Reason #9: We hold up a mirror 

Queer and trans people reveal truths about society. And these truths are, who gets protected? Who gets ignored? Who gets punished for existing? And who gets celebrated for conformity?

When you hold up a mirror to power, power tends to say, “Actually, could you put that mirror down? I don’t like the lighting.” And the moment power starts whining about the lighting, that’s when my cats kick the door open like, ‘Oh, you don’t like the reflection? Don’t worry. We brought a whole panel discussion and a ring light.’”

PIPER: I’ve called this emergency press conference because the humans are once again blaming queer folks for things they didn’t do. And frankly, I’m tired.

TINKERBELL: I have reviewed the allegations and found them to be stupid. Deeply stupid. Embarrassingly stupid.

COCO: I knocked a plant off the shelf this morning and nobody blamed the gays for that. So, clearly the government is slipping.

PIPER: They’re out here demonizing queer people while ignoring actual problems. Meanwhile, I’ve been asking for universal basic treats for YEARS.

TINKERBELL: And the hypocrisy? Whew. They’re clutching pearls about drag queens reading books while ignoring harmful behavior elsewhere. The math ain’t mathing.

COCO: If they cared about children, they’d ban vacuum cleaners. Those things are TERRIFYING.

PIPER: Focus, Coco.

COCO: I am focused. Focused on justice. And snacks.

TINKERBELL: Motion to declare queer people fabulous and not the problem.

COCO: Motion to add snacks.

PIPER: Motions passed. Democracy lives.

COCO: Why do some people scream “protect the children” every time a drag queen opens a book? But go silent when real issues show up like uninvited relatives at Thanksgiving?

TINKERBELL: It’s giving “I don’t read, so nobody else should either.”

PIPER: It’s like yelling at a houseplant for being too green. While ignoring the raccoon in the pantry.

TINKERBELL: The contradictions are louder than Coco knocking over a water glass at 3 a.m.

COCO: I knock things over for justice.

PIPER: And then there’s the “family values” crowd behaving like a soap opera plot twist.

TINKERBELL: If you’re going to preach morality, try living it for more than 12 minutes.

COCO: Twelve minutes is generous.

PIPER: In conclusion: Distraction. Deflection. Drama. And occasionally, pure comedy.

Let the last of the smoke curl around the truth they keep trying to hide. Queer people and especially trans folks aren’t the threat. We’re the reminder. We’re the proof that freedom is possible. We’re the living, breathing evidence that identity cannot be legislated into a filing cabinet. And that scares the hell out of systems built on control.

So the next time someone tries to blame the LGBTQIA+ community for society’s problems, smile sweetly and say, “Baby, if queer people had that much power, this country would be running smoother than a drag queen’s legs on pageant night.”  Sequins still sparkling.

Affirmation: I shine so brightly that even when power flinches at its own reflection. I stay rooted, radiant, and unbothered. My truth is steady. My joy is sacred. And no amount of misdirection can dim what was never theirs to control.

***Don’t forget to watch the video!***

#ThisPuzzledLife

darnold1975

You Can’t Pray the Gay Away, But You Sure Can Expose the Hypocrisy: A Southern Queer Survival Guide

“If your faith requires someone else to suffer, it’s not holy. It’s just dressed‑up cruelty.”

-This Puzzled Life

Light the charcoal. Apparently the courts woke up. Stretched. Sipped their Folgers and said, “Hmm. What if we brought back psychological torture today?” And the conservative Christians said, “YAY! Revival!” Meanwhile, every queer person in the South is standing on their porch like, “Lord, give me strength, patience, and a Xanax the size of a biscuit.”

Down here in Mississippi, we know hypocrisy like we know humidity. It clings. It suffocates. It ruins your hair and your spirit at the same time. And nothing brings out the hypocrisy quite like a ruling that says, “Sure, go ahead and traumatize queer people in the name of Jesus. He won’t mind.” These folks will tell you with a straight face that they’re doing this out of “love.” If that’s love, then I’m a straight man named Bubba who drives a lifted truck and says “bro” every six seconds.

Let’s be honest. This ruling isn’t about saving souls. It’s about controlling bodies. It’s about punishing difference. It’s about making queer people small enough to fit inside their narrow theology and even narrower worldview. And the wildest part? These are the same people who can’t keep their own households together. The same people who preach “traditional marriage” while living like a deleted storyline from a messy reality show. The same people who scream “protect the children!” While ignoring the actual dangers children face like abuse, exploitation, and the youth pastor who keeps volunteering for overnight trips.

But sure. Let’s focus on the gays. Because we’re clearly the problem. Not the pastors who keep getting “relocated.” Not the lawmakers who can’t keep their pants zipped. Not the “family values” influencers who spend more time in hotel rooms than in prayer.

Let me break it down in terms even a conservative uncle can understand. You cannot convert someone out of being gay. You cannot shame someone out of being gay. You cannot therapy someone out of being gay. You cannot “deliverance session” someone out of being gay. Unless the only thing you’re delivering is trauma.

If sexuality were a choice, don’t you think I would’ve chosen something easier? Something with less paperwork? Something that didn’t require me to explain myself at every family gathering like I’m giving a TED Talk in a Cracker Barrel? But no. God made me like this. Curved, colorful, and incapable of pretending otherwise.

You could dangle 45 sets of dangly bits in front of me like a clearance sale at Spencer’s Gifts and I still wouldn’t be straight. But put me in front of some boobs and a cooter cat and suddenly I’m glowing like a porch light in July. That’s not a choice. That’s not a phase. That’s not a “lifestyle.” That’s divine architecture.

If you want to stay in the closet because it feels safer, I get it. But don’t pretend it’s holiness. Don’t pretend it’s righteousness. Don’t pretend it’s “God’s plan.” It’s fear. And fear is the currency of conservative Christianity. I sprinted out of the closet like it was on fire. And I’ve been free ever since. Even with my own family members who weaponize scripture like it’s a Nerf gun filled with shame. I send that mess right back to sender with a smile and a boundary. Chosen family is where the love lives. Chosen family is where the truth lives. Chosen family is where the rainbow was always meant to shine.

Theo rainbow is divine reassurance. It’s God saying, “Relax. I made y’all fabulous on purpose.” No court ruling can change that. No pastor can change that. No conversion therapist with a clipboard and a superiority complex can change that. We are here. We are queer. We are not going anywhere. And we are not apologizing for existing.

So let the smoke rise like a prayer the evangelicals forgot to proofread. Stand tall in your queerness like a magnolia tree that refuses to bow to the storm. Because here’s the truth they don’t want to face. Every time they try to erase us. We multiply. Every time they try to shame us. We shine harder. Every time they try to legislate us out of existence. We become louder, brighter, and more unbothered than ever.

Their hypocrisy is loud. But our joy is louder. Their cruelty is sharp. But our resilience is sharper. Their fear is deep. But our love is deeper. And at the end of the day, when the court rulings fade. When the sermons lose their sting. When the shame campaigns collapse under their own weight. We will still be here laughing. Loving. Living. Thriving. Dancing in the rainbow God hung in the sky as a reminder that storms don’t last forever.

So let them clutch their pearls. Let them scream about “family values.” Let them pretend their closets don’t have motion‑activated lights. We know the truth. You damn sure cannot stop the rainbow from rising. Mic dropped. Floor cracked. Hypocrisy exposed. Amen and pass the sweet tea. Thanks for reading! And Happy Pride year-round. What are your thoughts on this type of ruling?

Affirmation: “My identity is divine. My joy is sacred. And no court, church, or closet can dim the rainbow God put in my soul.”

***Don’t forget to watch the video!!!

#ThisPuzzledLife