This Puzzled Life is a mental health and recovery blog exploring addiction, trauma healing, LGBTQ experiences, humor, and the strange moments that shape us.
“Sometimes wellness asks you to step outside your comfort zone. Sometimes it asks you to bend.”
-This Puzzled Life
Light the charcoal. Because if I’m going to write a consumer review of cannabis suppositories, I need ambiance, courage, and at least one distraction so my brain doesn’t fully process what I willingly signed up for. And this is where your humble, curious, occasionally too-brave-for-my-own-good reviewer try products, so you don’t have to. Or so you can, but with emotional support.
Let me begin by saying that I did this for science. For wellness. For the blog. For the ancestors who whisper, “Baby, why?” every time I try something new. I purchased cannabis suppositories because I’d heard they were great for pain relief, menstrual discomfort, pelvic tension, and deep-body relaxation. And listen, Mississippi humidity already has me fighting for my life. So, I figured why not add one more adventure to the list.
The experience from this product goes like this:
Onset: Shockingly fast. Faster than edibles. Faster than me running when someone says, “We need volunteers.”
Effect: A warm, full-body calm. Like sinking into a heated massage chair that also whispers affirmations.
Discomfort: Minimal. The concept is the part that makes you stare at the wall for a moment and reconsider your choices.
Medical Usefulness: Legit. If you deal with cramps, pelvic pain, inflammation, or post-op discomfort, this is a serious option.
Recreational Usefulness: Only if you’re adventurous or trying to win a dare at a very strange cookout.
Unexpected side effects include a sudden desire to reorganize your life. A new respect for gravity. The realization that cannabis has officially entered every possible category of wellness. And the urge to text someone, “You will not believe what I just did.”
Let’s talk about anything else for a moment. Like how the Deep South humidity is currently thick enough to qualify as a personality trait. Or how the packaging for suppositories always looks suspiciously calm. Like it knows something you don’t. Or how the instructions are written in the gentlest tone possible. As if the manufacturer is patting your shoulder saying, “You’re doing amazing, sweetie.” Or how I lit charcoal at the beginning of this review like I was preparing for a ritual, because honestly? It felt appropriate.
This product includes:
THC 10 mg
Intended medical uses (cramps, pelvic pain, inflammation, post-op relief): This will work with any condition. And they are great for people who have a difficult time swallowing. You can still get the relief and not have to eat an edible. I use this for severe chronic spine pain due to pinched nerves and degenerative disc disease.
Effects seem to last for a few hours. I never got high. However, some have said that they do get a buzz. I just go relief which was the goal
Dosage is one suppository
Melt speed (important!) is incredibly fast.
Storage instructions (usually refrigeration): I keep mine in the freezer.
Any warnings or medical considerations: if there is anything you are concerned about or need clarification, ask your budtender or doctor.
Thanks for reading! And just to let you know, this adventure was worth the relief. Have you tried this product? And how well did it work for you?
Affirmation: I honor my healing, curiosity, and my ability to laugh through the awkward parts.
“Some prayers lift the spirit. Others just lift the eyebrows.”
-This Puzzled Life
Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Hide your children, your casseroles, and your common sense. Because what I witnessed at that unfortunate local Mississippi event wasn’t a prayer. It was a theological Nascar crash. And every angel in heaven refused to file the insurance claim.
Picture it. A field full of red hats bobbing like a colony of patriotic mushrooms. The air thick with humidity, Axe body spray, and generational resentment. A folding table sagging under the weight of mayonnaise‑based salads. And a speaker system held together with duct tape and denial.
Then he stepped forward. The Chosen One of the Red‑Hat Prayer Circle. A man built like a refrigerator with opinions. A man whose shirt had more eagles than the actual sky. A man who looked like he’d been baptized in Monster Energy. He grabbed the microphone like he was about to drop a mixtape called “Gospel of the Grievance.”
He clears his throat like he’s about to summon the Holy Ghost, the founding fathers, and the HOA board all at once. And then. Lord help us. He opened his mouth.
What came out was not a prayer. It was not a blessing. It was not even a coherent sentence structure. It was a spiritual Yelp review written by a man who thinks the Holy Trinity is God, Country, and Bathroom Legislation. Then he begins The Prayer. The one that made the angels file HR complaints.
“Heavenly Father. We come before you today under this blessed Mississippi sun. Which you made hotter every year to punish the radical left for their wickedness.
Lord, we know that every single problem in this world can be traced back to them. The hurricanes? The liberals. The price of eggs? The liberals. My gout flaring up last Tuesday? Father God, that was the liberals too.
And Lord, we thank you that our sins don’t count. Because we carry the “Jesus Warranty.” We swipe it like a rewards card. We sin. We repent. We sin again. And you just keep stamping that little heavenly punch card. But the liberals, Lord? Unforgivable. They are the real ones on the predatory registry. Not all the republicans. But that’s none of my business, Father.
Lord, we thank You that here in Mississippi, we stay focused on the things that matter most like genitals, bathrooms, and our loyal governor who kneels so faithfully before the Orange Messiah. He bends the knee so hard, Lord, he’s got calluses shaped like patriotism.
Father, we lift up the windmills to you. Those demonic pinwheels of destruction. They’re out there slaughtering birds. Driving whales insane. And screaming so loud they give people cancer. Lord, we know the whales are acting up because they can’t handle the noise. They’re liberals at heart, Father. Sensitive. Emotional. Always protesting something.
And Lord, we rebuke the immigrants who are coming here to eat our dogs and cats. We know this because someone’s cousin’s neighbor’s Facebook post said so. And that’s good enough for us.
Father, protect us from the left trying to make everyone gay and transgender. They’re out here handing out pronouns like coupons. Even though they say that pronouns are in the English language. And that’s also a hoax. Next thing you know, my truck’s gonna identify as a Prius.
Lord, we thank you for the brave idea of firing nuclear weapons into hurricanes. We know it would’ve worked if the deep state hadn’t interfered. We thank you for the tariffs on penguins, Father. The money is pouring in. We don’t know where from. But it’s pouring in.
We thank you for answering our prayer about gasoline. It’s the lowest it’s ever been. Even though the sign says otherwise. But we don’t read numbers. Lord numbers are liberal. We thank you for the funds for the Pedophile Patio at the White House. We don’t know what it is. But the liberals said it’s bad. So, it must really be good. And that’s enough for us.
Lord, we ask You to bless our crosses. Which absolve us of all wrongdoing. We wear them proudly, Father, even when we’re screaming at cashiers or crashing Grindr. Not that we’ve ever crashed Grindr. That was the liberals.
And Father, we rebuke the rumors about ladybugs we may or may not have contracted from Lindsey “Lady” Graham. We don’t have them. We’ve never had them. We don’t think. That’s the liberals’ fault too. Lord, we pray for this nation. We pray for our bathrooms. We pray for our genitals. We pray for our Orange Messiah. And we pray that you continue to forgive us instantly while holding everyone else accountable forever. In your holy, conservative, red‑hat‑approved name we pray. Amen.”
As the final “Amen” echoed across the field. Bounced off the port‑a‑potties. Ricocheting through the humidity. And startling at least three confused squirrels. I realized something profound. This wasn’t a prayer. This was a confession disguised as patriotism. A spiritual tantrum. A theological meltdown. A holy‑ghost‑free revival sponsored by conspiracy theories and lukewarm potato salad.
The red‑hat faithful walked away feeling forgiven. Justified. And spiritually moisturized. Not because they’d repented. But because they’d shouted loudly enough to drown out their own guilt. Meanwhile, the rest of us stood there blinking like we’d just witnessed a raccoon steal a wedding cake.
If delusion had a megachurch, this prayer would’ve been the keynote speaker. If hypocrisy had a hymn book, this prayer would’ve been track one. If nonsense had a national anthem, this prayer would’ve been sung at every football game.
And here’s my final word. May we all be delivered from prayers that sound like Facebook comments. May our humor stay sharp. Our queerness stay loud. And our spirits stay unbothered. And may the next local event have better food, better theology, and fewer polyester hats. Thanks for reading! And thank you for your attention to this matter. Praise Be To Allah!
Affirmation: I stand rooted in truth, humor, and queer resilience. No amount of red‑hat chaos can shake my spirit or dim my brilliance.
“Shame has never saved a life. Compassion has. And still can.”
-This Puzzled Life
Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Today, we’re not just cleansing the house. We’re cleansing the collective delusion that addiction is a moral failing. The sage is smoking like it’s trying to file a worker’s comp claim. The charcoal is popping like it’s gossiping about the neighbors. And I’m standing in the kitchen with the kind of determination usually reserved for Southern women who’ve had enough.
Piper struts in first.Tail high. Eyes narrowed. And a clipboard already out like she’s conducting a federal audit.
Piper: “Before we begin. I need to know if this is a cleansing ritual, a public dragging, or a memorial service. My paperwork differs.”
Me: “All three. It’s International Overdose Awareness Day. And I’m about to educate the masses.”
Coco barrels in next. She’s breathing heavily like she just ran a marathon but actually just walked from the living room.
Coco: “Is this about the humans who say addiction is willpower? And overdose is a moral collapse? I once ate an entire rotisserie chicken while sleepwalking. Explain that with willpower.”
Tinkerbell descends from the top of the fridge like a Victorian ghost who died of judgment.
Tinkerbell: “If willpower cured anything, half this household would stop doomscrolling at 2 AM. And the other half would stop emotionally eating Cheez-Its.”
Me: “Exactly. We’re dragging ignorance today.”
Piper adjusts her glasses. The glasses she does not need and sighs.
Piper: “I’ll prepare the minutes. This meeting is already chaotic.”
International Overdose Awareness Day started in 2001 as a remembrance event at a Salvation Army needle exchange in Melbourne, Australia. It was created to honor those lost. Reduce stigma around overdose. And to push the world to stop treating overdose like a shameful secret instead of a public health crisis. And let me say this plainly, with all the Southern sweetness of a peach cobbler baked in righteous fury, “Addiction and overdose are not moral issues.” And it’s not about willpower.
The next time you have diarrhea, keep in mind that it’s just willpower. Sit there with a Bible verse and see if the situation resolves itself. Let me know how that works out. That’s how ludicrous that argument is.
People don’t become addicts because they’re weak, sinful, lazy, or lacking character. Many addicts die wanting anything in life other than to be an addict. They die fighting. They die trying. They die hoping. But some folks, including people in my own family, love to say, “Addiction is about willpower.” It never has been. It never will be.
I’ve been an addict. I’ve been a professional treating addicts. I’ve buried friends. I’ve buried family. Not once have I judged them for their struggle. But the hypocrites in my life? The ones who claim moral superiority while ingesting alcohol at a rate that Pete Hegseth and Kash Patel struggle to keep up with? Hypocrite, please.
Overdose is an unfortunate part of addiction. Whether it’s chemicals, behaviors, or the slow-motion self-destruction people pretend “doesn’t count.” Because it’s socially acceptable. So how about we stop demonizing people who overdose while absolving ourselves of our own harmful, numbing, escapist overdoses?
If we’re being honest, some folks overdose on alcohol, self-righteousness, denial, Amazon Prime, gossip, rage, food, religion, and control. But somehow that doesn’t get labeled as a moral failure. Funny how selective morality works.
And here’s the truth that makes some folks squirm like they sat on a church pew with a splinter. Overdose doesn’t happen because someone is weak. It happens because someone is human. Humans who loved. Humans who tried. Humans who fought battles most people couldn’t survive for five minutes. Humans who deserved compassion instead of commentary.
But every year, we lose more people. Not because they were broken. But because the world still treats addiction and overdose like a character flaw instead of a medical condition. We lose them because shame is louder than science. Because judgment is easier than empathy. Because some folks would rather cling to their superiority complex than admit they don’t know a damn thing about what they’re talking about.
So on International Overdose Awareness Day, I’m lighting this charcoal. Sprinkling this sage. And saying this with my whole chest, “Stop demonizing the people who are drowning while you’re out here drinking from your own poison well. Stop pretending your socially acceptable overdoses are any less destructive just because they come with a cute, monogrammed tumbler or a Bible verse slapped on top. Stop acting like overdose is a choice when half the people judging can’t even choose to drink water or go to bed on time. And most importantly, start honoring the people we’ve lost by refusing to let stigma bury the living.
The dead deserve dignity. The living deserve compassion. And the ignorant deserve education. Loud, unapologetic, Southern‑fried education. Today, I’m choosing truth over tradition. Compassion over comfort. And humanity over hypocrisy. If that makes some folks uncomfortable? Good. Growth never happens in comfort. And comfort has never saved a single life. But truth might. Compassion might. You might. Thanks for reading! Share this with others.
Affirmation: I honor the lives lost. Uplift the living. And refuse to let stigma speak louder than truth.
“I am one minor inconvenience away from becoming a cryptid who lives in the woods and only appears to steal Wi-Fi.”
-This Puzzled Life
Light the charcoal. If we Gen Xers are gonna summon our inner Badass Affirmations, we need fire, smoke, and at least one neighbor peeking over the fence wondering if we’re starting a cookout or an exorcism. (Honestly, could be both. Depends on the day and the humidity.)
Listen, Gen Xers. We are the generation that survived lead paint, lawn darts, and riding in the back of pickup trucks at 70 mph. And parents who thought “therapy” was a sign of demonic possession. We are the middle children of America. The duct tape holding this country together. While Boomers argue on Facebook. Ok, I do argue on Facebook too. And Millennials cry into their oat milk. And now? Now we’re supposed to “affirm” ourselves like we’re soft, gentle beings who believe the universe is listening. Well, the universe is listening. But she’s got AirPods in. And she’s halfway through a true crime podcast.
So, today’s affirmations are not soft. They’re not gentle. They’re not written in pastel fonts with butterflies. No ma’am. These are Badass Affirmations for Today’s Gen Xers. They are forged in sarcasm. Raised on MTV. And baptized in the holy waters of “I don’t have time for this mess.” And yes, we’re doing it with Southern sass. Queer sparkle. And a healthy side-eye toward the conservative Christians. Who, ironically, swear Jesus hates everything except casseroles and Hobby Lobby.
Let us begin with the First Commandment of Gen X Badassery.
1. Thou shalt not let anyone born after 1995 tell you how to live.
If a 22-year-old tries to explain “self-care” to you, simply nod. Smile. And remember you once moisturized with St. Ives Apricot Scrub and survived.
2. Thou shalt embrace the chaos.
We are the generation that watched our parents scream about Satanic Panic while we listened to Madonna and played Dungeons & Dragons. Chaos is our birthright. We don’t run from it. We season it. Fry it. And serve it with sweet tea.
3. Thou shalt not be guilt-tripped by hypocrites.
If someone clutching a Bible tries to shame you for existing, remind them Jesus hung out with prostitutes, tax collectors, and fishermen. Not HOA presidents. And if they still don’t get it, bless their heart and move on. (Bless their heart = Southern for “I hope your casserole burns.”)
4. Thou shalt affirm thyself with the confidence of a drag queen at a Baptist potluck.
You are not too old. You are not too tired. You are not too anything. You are a Gen Xer. We were forged in sarcasm. Fueled by caffeine. And held together by ibuprofen and spite.
5. Thou shalt remember that Gen X invented minding your business.
We walked home alone after school. We raised ourselves on microwaved pizza rolls. We learned to fix emotional trauma with sarcasm and a mixtape. We do not need Karen from church telling us how to parent, pray, or process our trauma.
6. Thou shalt embrace your gay sass, even if your mee-maw still calls it “your little personality.”
Honey, shine. Shimmer. Sparkle like a disco ball at a revival tent. If they don’t like it, they can go read Leviticus and leave you alone.
7. Thou shalt affirm your worth even when your back pops like bubble wrap every time you stand up.
You are still hot. You are still powerful. You are still the generation that survived dial-up internet. You can survive anything.
So, light the charcoal. Gen X is not just for ambiance. But as a spiritual act of rebellion. Let that smoke rise like our collective patience leaving our bodies every time someone under 30 says, “OK boomer.” And we have to remind them we are the generation that invented eye‑rolling, sarcasm, and emotional detachment as a coping mechanism.
Stand tall in your Crocs. Your orthopedic inserts. Your “I swear I used to be fun” hoodie. Lift your chin with the confidence of someone who survived dial‑up, Reaganomics, and parents who thought seatbelts were “optional suggestions.” Declare your affirmations with the boldness of a queer Southerner walking into a conservative church potluck carrying a rainbow Jell‑O mold and a smile that says, “Yes, Brenda, I am the agenda.”
Let your voice boom like a Baptist preacher who just found out the choir director is gay (again). Let your spirit shine like Aqua Net on prom night. Let your boundaries be firmer than your lower back when it locks up at 6 a.m. for no reason.
Because you, my darling Gen X legend, are a walking contradiction of grit, glitter, trauma, triumph, sarcasm, and survival. You are the generation that raised yourself. Therapized yourself. Caffeinated yourself. And resurrected yourself more times than Jesus’ PR team could keep up with.
You are the duct tape holding this country together. You are the middle child of America who learned to thrive in chaos. You are the badass who can say “bless your heart” with 47 different meanings. And all of them legally binding.
And if anyone tries to dim your shine or question your worth or tell you you’re “too old” for something, smile sweetly. Take a deep breath. Channel your ancestors. Your inner drag queen. Your inner grunge‑era rage. And your inner Southern auntie who keeps a flask in her purse. Then say, with holy conviction, “I survived the 80s, the 90s, and three decades of other people’s nonsense. I am not the one.”
Now go forth, Gen X. Be bold. Be loud. Be unbothered. Be the badass affirmation the world needs. And may your charcoal always light on the first try. Thanks for reading! Does this blog feel “right on the money” for our generation?
Affirmation: I am a Gen X masterpiece. I’m sarcastically blessed. Spiritually moisturized. And too seasoned to be shaken by amateurs.
“If the 80s didn’t kill me. Your opinion definitely won’t.”
-This Puzzled life
Light the charcoal. If we’re gonna talk about the 80s, we need smoke, drama, and at least one angelic visitation from a Southern Baptist church lady clutching a casserole. And whisper‑praying for our souls.
I had barely struck the match when Piper strutted in like she was auditioning for RuPaul’s Drag Race: Feline Edition. Coco followed. She was rolling her eyes so hard she saw her own brain. Tinkerbell arrived last. She was carrying the emotional weight of someone who lived through dial‑up internet. And refuses to talk about it.
Piper: “Mama, tell us again how y’all used to chase the mosquito‑spraying truck like it was the ice cream man.”
Me: “Baby, that was our version of aromatherapy.”
Coco: “So you willingly ran toward poison?”
Me: “Yes, and we called it summer.”
Tinkerbell: “Lord have mercy. Y’all were one bad decision away from a Lifetime movie called ‘Bless Her Heart: The Dana Story.’”
Piper: “Was this before or after you realized you were gay?”
Me: “Before. But the signs were there. I had a favorite Golden Girl.”
Coco: “Which one?”
Me: “Dorothy.”
Tinkerbell: “Yeah, that tracks.”
The charcoal popped. The cats stared. And I knew it was time to confess the truth. 80s childhood wasn’t a vibe. It was a survival sport.
Look, kids today have helmets, GPS trackers, and parents who Google things like “Is this safe?” We had none of that. We had vibes and the Lord’s protection. Which was honestly stretched thin. He was also busy dealing with televangelists, Reaganomics, and every Southern mama praying for her gay child without knowing why.
UNSUPERVISED BIKE RIDES
We rode bikes miles away from home with no water, no sunscreen, and no adult supervision. If you got lost, you didn’t call anyone. You just accepted your new life in the woods like a feral pioneer child.
THE MOSQUITO TRUCK
Modern kids run from danger. We ran toward it. That fog rolled down the street like a Stephen King villain and we said, “Oh goodie, free mist!”
THE SNACKS
We ate plastic‑wrapped cheese. Kool‑Aid with enough sugar to stop a grown man’s heart. Bologna that had a rainbow sheen. And popsicles that tasted like lead paint and joy.
THE PARENTING STYLE
Southern parents in the 80s didn’t “supervise.” They announced. “Be home by dark.” That was it. No follow‑up questions. No safety plan. Just vibes and Jesus.
THE GAY PART
Growing up gay in the conservative South was like being a unicorn in a deer stand. You knew you were magical. But you also knew you needed to stay quiet, or someone’s mee-maw would try to pray the glitter out of you.
Meanwhile, my cats listened to all this like they were taking notes for a documentary.
Piper: “So basically, y’all were raised by chaos and pesticides.”
Coco: “And shame. Don’t forget the shame.”
Tinkerbell: “Honestly, it explains everything.”
So yes. Every 80s kid was one bad decision away from a Lifetime movie plot. We survived poison fog. Unsupervised adventures. Snacks that violated FDA guidelines. And Southern Christianity’s “We love you but also don’t ask questions” energy.
Let me tell you something right now. Standing here in my Mississippi kitchen with three judgmental cats and the ghost of every Southern church lady who ever side‑eyed my existence hovering over my left shoulder like a passive‑aggressive guardian angel.
We, the 80s kids, should not be alive. Not metaphorically. Not spiritually. I mean biologically, medically, scientifically, and according to every modern parenting blog written by someone named Brittany who packs organic snacks in BPA‑free containers.
We were raised in an era where seatbelts were “optional suggestions.” Bike helmets were “for the weak.” And the mosquito truck was “community enrichment.” We were one bad decision away from starring in a Lifetime movie titled “Bless Her Heart: The Dana Chronicles” or “Raised By Pesticides” or “Southern Gay Survival Story.” Take your pick.
And while we were out there inhaling poison fog like it was Chanel No. 5, our Southern Christian parents were inside praying hedge‑of‑protection prayers so thick they could’ve been used as insulation. Not that they knew what we were doing. They thought we were “playing outside.” Ma’am, we were reenacting Lord of the Flies with bicycles and no adult supervision.
Meanwhile, I was also quietly navigating the spiritual obstacle course of being a gay kid in the conservative South. Which meant I was simultaneously dodging mosquito fog, emotional repression, and Sister Linda’s unsolicited prophecy that “the Lord has a special plan for you.” And he did. It involved glitter and sarcasm.
And now? Now we’re grown. We pay bills. We raise kids. We have opinions about grout. We have survived everything from Reagan to dial‑up to purity culture. To the fact that our childhood snacks were made of 40% petroleum byproduct.
My cats watched me deliver this sermon like I was testifying in the Church of Chaotic Upbringing.
Piper: “Mama, you’re not just a miracle. You’re a franchise.”
Coco: “Honestly, you should’ve come with a warning label.”
Tinkerbell: “Or a Lifetime contract.”
And here’s the mic‑drop truth. The gospel according to every 80s kid who lived through the fog, the freedom, the foolishness, and the fundamentalist fearmongering. We just didn’t survive the 80s. We outlived the 80s. We walked through the valley of mosquito spray and came out moisturized. We endured the shame, the chaos, the bologna with the rainbow sheen, and the Southern Christian guilt that could crush a lesser mortal. We are the chosen ones. The anointed. The pesticide‑kissed prophets of resilience.
So, if anyone tries to tell you you’re “too much,” just smile sweetly. Bless their heart and remember, “You survived an entire decade that tried to kill you with fog machines, sugar, and Jesus.” They can’t handle you. They’re not qualified to handle you. You are a walking Lifetime movie with better hair and boundaries. Charcoal still burning. Cats applauding silently in judgmental solidarity. Thanks for reading! How do you remember the 80s?
Affirmation: I am resilient. I am fabulous. And I survived the 80s. Nothing can stop me except maybe gluten.
“The 80s mall didn’t just raise us. It emotionally stabilized us better than half the adults in our lives.”
-This Puzzled Life
Light the charcoal. Today we are not merely remembering the 80s mall. We are summoning it. Resurrecting it. And calling it forth like a neon‑soaked ancestral spirit guide wearing leg warmers. And chewing Bubble Yum with the confidence of someone who has never once read a nutrition label.
The 80s mall wasn’t just a building. It was a biosphere, a social laboratory, a feral ecosystem where children roamed free like denim‑clad gazelles. It was the one place where your mama could drop you off with five dollars, a scrunchie, and a warning about “not acting a fool.” And somehow that was considered responsible parenting. The mall raised us. The mall fed us. The mall taught us that independence meant walking around unsupervised for eight hours. And only calling home if someone sprained an ankle or got lost in Sears.
It was our emotional support ecosystem before emotional support ecosystems were a thing. It was therapy before therapy. It was cardio before cardio. It was church before church. It was TikTok before TikTok. Except instead of filters, we had Glamour Shots. Instead of algorithms, we had the food court. So let us honor the fluorescent kingdom that shaped our souls, our fashion sense, and our questionable decision‑making skills.
10 Things That Made the 80s Mall Our Emotional Support Ecosystem
The Food Court-A culinary fever dream where you could eat Sbarro pizza, teriyaki chicken, and a pretzel the size of a Buick hubcap. It was the original “choose your fighter” screen.
Spencer’s Gifts-The forbidden forest of the mall. You went in for a lava lamp and came out spiritually changed. Slightly confused. And carrying a rubber chicken.
The Arcade-A dimly lit cave where boys communicated through grunts. Button‑mashing. And the sacred ritual of slapping quarters on the machine to claim next game.
Glamour Shots-The place where every Southern girl became a feather‑haired deity. You walked in looking like a child. And walked out looking like you were about to release a country album.
Orange Julius-A beverage so mysterious it defied science. Was it juice? Was it foam? Was it industrial insulation? We didn’t ask questions.
The Mall Fountain-A shimmering lagoon of wishes, pennies, and the occasional toddler shoe. It was our emotional support water feature.
The Perfume Counter-A chemical assault zone where you were spritzed against your will by a woman named Linda who smelled like Chanel No. 5 and authority.
The Record Store-A sanctuary where we pretended to understand music genres. And, also, judged strangers based on their cassette choices.
The Mall Walkers-The elders who power‑walked at dawn like they were training for mall‑based combat. They were the backbone of mall society.
The Payphone Bank-Our hotline to Mama. Our emergency broadcast system. Our “Jessica is being dramatic again, please retrieve me” communication hub.
The 80s mall wasn’t just a place. It was a multisensory emotional support habitat engineered to keep us alive. Entertained. And slightly overstimulated. The moment those sliding glass doors whooshed open, you were hit with a wall of smells like popcorn, perfume, pretzels, and the faint scent of a RadioShack employee losing the will to live.
The mall was where we learned economics (“If I buy this sticker pack, I will not have enough money for a slice of pizza”), sociology (“If I walk past the cute boys three times, they will eventually notice me”), and survival (“If I get lost in JCPenney, I must follow the sound of the escalator until I reach civilization”).
It was also where we learned fashion. Which is why so many of our childhood photos look like we were raised by a pack of neon‑obsessed raccoons. We wore shoulder pads big enough to pick up satellite signals. We wore jelly shoes that blistered our feet into oblivion. We wore outfits that could blind a man at twenty paces.
And the mall didn’t just shape us. It healed us. Had a bad day at school? Go to the mall. Got dumped by your 7th‑grade boyfriend? Go to the mall. Needed to feel the warm embrace of consumerism? Go to the mall. Needed to walk around aimlessly for six hours because your mama said, “go play”? Go to the mall. The mall was our coping mechanism. Our sanctuary. Our ecosystem of emotional regulation and questionable snacks. And honestly? We turned out fine. Mostly.
And now, here we stand. Grown. Exhausted. Over‑scheduled adults. Who can barely get through a Target run without needing a nap and a hydration break. Meanwhile, our children act like going to a store is a war crime. They clutch their tablets like emotional support rodents. And look at us like we’re asking them to churn butter.
But us? We were forged in the fluorescent crucible of the 80s mall. We survived unsupervised freedom. Orange Julius sugar crashes. And the psychological warfare of the perfume counter. We navigated the labyrinth of Sears without GPS. We endured Glamour Shots bangs that could slice through drywall. We walked uphill both ways in jelly shoes that were basically medieval torture devices.
We are the generation that learned resilience from a food court. And emotional regulation from a mall fountain. We are the children of neon, tile floors, and Cinnabon steam. We are unbreakable. We are unstoppable. We are mall‑raised. Mall‑blessed. Mall‑forged warriors. And may the spirit of the mall walkers guide our steps forever.
Affirmation: I am grounded. I am centered. I am guided by the neon glow of my ancestors and protected by the mall walkers at dawn.
“Gen X: Because someone had to survive the 80s so the rest of y’all could have feelings.”
-This Puzzled Life
Light the charcoal. We’re about to summon the spirits of Gen X. We were the only generation that survived metal playground equipment, unfiltered hose water, and parents who thought “supervision” was something only rich people did.
Let’s talk about the 80s. The decade where every child was basically a free‑range chicken with a bike. And nothing captures the chaos of our upbringing better than the rotary phone. That thing wasn’t just a communication device. It was the first escape room. A psychological puzzle. A patience test. A spiritual trial. A full‑body workout. A rite of passage.
Listen. If you didn’t grow up in the 80s, you will never understand the emotional damage of mis‑dialing the last number on a rotary phone. You’d get all the way to the ninth digit. Your finger trembling. Your soul leaving your body. And then slip. Back to the beginning. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. Do not call your friend to see if they can come outside.
Rotary phones were the original “Are you smart enough to escape this room?” challenge. Except the room was your grandmother’s kitchen. The puzzle was a plastic wheel from 1952. And the prize was getting to talk to someone whose mom might pick up and yell, “Hello? Who is this?” And Gen X? We were forged in that fire.
We survived:
Phone cords long enough to lasso a sibling, a dog, and a passing station wagon.
Busy signals, which were basically the universe saying, “try again later, loser.”
Parents screaming “Get off the phone, I’m expecting a call!” even though they weren’t.
The fear of calling a friend and having their dad answer with a voice that sounded like he ate gravel for breakfast.
Kids today will never know the terror of dialing a crush’s house and praying their mother didn’t answer with the tone of a woman who had already raised three children and was done.
And while we’re at it, Gen X childhood wasn’t just rotary phones. It was metal slides hot enough to brand livestock. Monkey bars designed by someone who hated children. Halloween costumes made of plastic so flammable they violated the Geneva Convention. Riding in the back of pickup trucks like we were in a Marlboro commercial. Snacks made of 98% Red Dye No. 5. Being left alone for 12 hours with nothing but a bike, a stick, and a vague sense of danger.
We didn’t have helicopter parents. We had “figure it out” parents. We didn’t have screen time limits. We had “go outside and don’t come back until the streetlights come on.” We didn’t have anxiety. We had character development. And now? We’re raising kids who need a snack, a water bottle, a fidget toy, a weighted blanket, and three emotional support apps just to go to Target.
So yes. We are Gen X. We survived rotary phones, lawn darts, metal slides, Satanic Panic, latchkey childhood, and parents who thought seatbelts were “optional suggestions.” We escaped the escape room. We solved the puzzle. We lived to tell the tale. And now we’re out here trying to raise children who cry if the Wi‑Fi blinks for three seconds.
Meanwhile, we’re still laughing. Still standing. Still unbothered. Because we were raised by chaos, danger, and a phone that required upper‑body strength. Cord tangled. Streetlights on. Gen X forever. Thanks for reading! What do you remember about growing up in the 80’s?
Affirmation: “I am a resilient, sarcastic, rotary‑phone‑forged masterpiece. And nothing in this modern world can intimidate me.”
“I didn’t grow up in the dark ages. I grew up in the spark‑a‑fire‑with‑two‑sticks era of resilience.”
-This Puzzled Life
Light the charcoal. Hide the breakables. Put Piper on airplane mode. Today my cats staged a full‑scale intervention. Not a gentle, “Mama, we have questions.” No. This was a feline congressional hearing.
Piper dragged a legal pad across the floor like she was subpoenaing me. Coco sat in a chair backwards like a middle‑school guidance counselor trying to relate. Tinkerbell lit a metaphorical cigarette and whispered, “Let’s begin.” And then, in perfect unison, they asked, “Mama, what was it like growing up in the 80s?”
It started like any normal morning. Piper was knocking things off shelves for cardio. Coco was judging me for existing. And Tinkerbell was staring into the middle distance like she was remembering a past life where she had fewer dependents and more emotional bandwidth.
Then Piper jumped onto the coffee table with the energy of a prosecutor who had receipts. Coco dragged a dining chair across the floor. Sat in it backwards like a youth pastor trying to be relatable and announced, “Mama we need to talk about your childhood.” Tinkerbell sighed. Crossed her paws and whispered, “Prepare yourselves. She grew up before Wi-Fi.”
The room went silent. The air thickened. Somewhere a single dial‑up modem screamed in the void. While an 8‑track tape shed a single tear. How do you explain to three modern, snack‑entitled, YouTube‑addicted cats that their mother was raised in a decade where Phones had cords long enough to lasso livestock. Music lived on ribbons that needed pencils for CPR. ADHD was treated with the “Board of Education” (a wooden paddle with tenure) Bag phones were luxury items for rich people, car dealers, and the occasional drug lord. Supervision was optional. Helmets were a myth. And childhood was basically a survival sport. And coming out as gay in the conservative South was about as safe as juggling lit fireworks in a dry barn.
So, I took a deep breath. Adjusted my imaginary shoulder pads. The emotional ones and the fashion ones and said, “Children buckle up. Mama’s about to take you on a journey through the Dark Ages.”
1. ROTARY PHONES — THE ORIGINAL TORTURE DEVICE
Piper: “So you’re telling me you had to spin the numbers? Like a wheel? Like a game show?”
Me: “Yes. And if you messed up one number, you had to start over.”
Piper: “Start over? Mama, that’s not a phone. That’s a punishment.”
Coco: “And you couldn’t text? No emojis? No memes? No sending me pictures of myself?”
Me: “Nope. You just talked.”
Coco: “Out loud? With your mouth? Barbaric.”
Tinkerbell: “Children, let her speak. She survived.”
2. CAMCORDERS — THE SHOULDER MOUNTED BEASTS
Piper: “So your parents carried around a camera the size of a microwave?”
Me: “Yes. Every dad looked like he was filming a documentary about corn.”
Coco: “And you couldn’t edit? No filters? No TikTok?”
Me: “No. You got what you got.”
Coco: “So childhood memories were raw footage?”
Me: “Exactly.”
Coco: “Unacceptable. I’m filing an HR complaint.”
3. 8‑TRACKS, CASSETTES & JAM BOXES
Piper: “So music lived on ribbons?”
Me: “Yes.”
Piper: “And you had to rewind it? Manually?”
Me: “With a pencil.”
Piper: “A pencil? Mama, were y’all okay?”
Tinkerbell: “Back in my day, we carried burdens too. I honor your struggle.”
4. SNACKS — THE WILD WEST OF SUGAR
Coco: “What were snacks like?”
Me: “Fruit Roll-Ups that tasted like edible stickers. Kool-Aid that was 98% sugar. Chips in bags so loud they could summon the dead.”
Coco: “So chaos.”
Me: “Yes.”
Piper: “I would’ve thrived.”
5. TOYS — AKA STICKS
Piper: “You played with yard debris?”
Me: “Yes. Sticks were swords, guns, wands, fishing poles, and occasionally, lawsuits.”
Piper: “Was childhood a punishment?”
Me: “No. It was imagination.”
Piper: “Sounds like poverty.”
6. OUTSIDE — THE ORIGINAL OPEN-WORLD GAME
Coco: “So you were a latchkey kid?”
Me: “I wasn’t. But many of my friends were. It was the culture.”
Coco: “No adult supervision? No check-ins? No GPS? No Life360?”
Me: “Nope. We just existed.”
Coco: “That’s not childhood. That’s a documentary on resilience.”
7. THE SATANIC PANIC — WHEN EVERYTHING WAS THE DEVIL
Piper: “So adults thought everything was witchcraft?”
Tinkerbell: “Mama, what was it like being gay back then?”
Me: “Growing up gay in the conservative South wasn’t just hard. It was dangerous. It was whispered about. Prayed over. Feared. Punished. Misunderstood.So, I didn’t come out until my 30s. Which was when I finally had safety, language, and the audacity to choose myself.”
Piper: “So you had to hide who you were?”
Me: “Yes.”
Coco: “Not anymore. If anyone tries that again, I’m biting them.”
Tinkerbell: “You bloomed late because the soil was hostile. That’s not your fault.”
And then Piper knocked over a cup because emotional vulnerability makes her itchy.
10.THE BAG PHONE — THE RICH PEOPLE FLEX
Piper: “What’s a bag phone?”
Me: “A cell phone the size of a small suitcase. It lived in a giant toiletries bag.”
Coco: “Who carried that?”
Me: “Rich people. Car dealers. Maybe a drug lord.”
Piper: “So it was a phone in a purse that only wealthy people could use?”
Me: “Yes.”
Piper: “Sounds like an Hermes collab.”
11.MENTAL HEALTH IN THE 80s — AKA ‘YOU’RE FINE, GO OUTSIDE’
Coco: “Mama, were you in therapy back then?”
Me: “No. Therapy wasn’t a thing for kids. Mental health was treated with prayer, denial, and chores.”
Piper: “What about ADHD?”
Me: “That was treated with the ‘Board of Education.’”
Piper: “What’s that?”
Me: “A wooden paddle.”
Piper: “Ma’am.”
Tinkerbell: “Corporal punishment has mostly been eliminated now.”
Me: “Back then it was Tuesday.”
12.THE PADDLE — AND YES, I GOT MANY
Coco: “Did you ever get paddled in school?”
Me: “Oh yes. Many times.”
Piper: “For what?”
Me: “Well one time me and my friends squeezed staples into tiny squares, put them on the end of pencils, and flicked them at each other.”
Coco: “Why?”
Me: “Entertainment.”
Piper: “And?”
Me: “And I misaimed and hit the football coach in the forehead with staple shrapnel.”
Piper: “Mama. That’s assault.”
Me: “It was the 80s. We called it ‘horseplay.’”
13.PENCIL BREAKING WARS — THE ORIGINAL HUNGER GAMES
Coco: “What are pencil wars?”
Me: “You’d hold your pencil and try to break someone else’s pencil with it. Champion #2 pencils only.”
Piper: “So gladiator combat but with office supplies?”
Me: “Yes.”
Piper: “I would’ve won.”
14.ERASER BURNS — THE PAIN OLYMPICS
Tinkerbell: “And what are eraser burns?”
Me: “Someone would hold your hand down and rub the eraser on your skin as hard as possible. Whoever lasted the longest won.”
Coco: “Won what?”
Me: “Respect.”
Piper: “That sounds like hazing.”
Me: “It was childhood.”
Tinkerbell: “Children were different back then.”
So yes. I grew up in the 80s. With rotary phones that spun like medieval torture wheels and doubled as cardio equipment. Phone cords long enough to strangle a small horse. Cassette tapes that needed pencils for CPR. Snacks that violated several FDA guidelines. And probably a few spiritual ones. And closets, both literal and metaphorical, that took decades to escape. I also survived pencil wars, eraser burns, chaotic childhood, the Satanic Panic, dial‑up internet, and the conservative South’s Olympic‑level repression. I didn’t come out until my 30s because the world I grew up in wasn’t safe for a gay kid. But I made it out. I made it loud. And I made it proud.
And now? I live with three cats who scream at walls. Demand snacks like they’re unionized. And interrogate me about my prehistoric upbringing like I’m a museum exhibit they did not approve the funding for. They cannot fathom a world without YouTube, Wi-Fi, or same‑day delivery. And yet here I stand, a relic of the Dark Ages. Forged in the fires of rotary phones and questionable parenting.
And somehow, this is the upgrade. Jam box blasting. Cordless phone nowhere in sight. Thanks for reading! Praise be to Gen X. What are your thoughts on the greatest decade?
Affirmation: I honor the child who survived. The adult who emerged. And the joy I refuse to apologize
“After today’s conversation, I’ve decided that if life ever assigns me a job involving the human backdoor, I will simply log out of the simulation and let my cats take over my identity.”
-This Puzzled Life
Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Today we’re cleansing not just the room, but the entire situation that led us here in the first place. The energy was so chaotic, even the ancestors peeked around the corner like, “Now who summoned this foolishness?” And the cats scattered like I’d announced surprise bath time. Which tells you everything you need to know about the spiritual turbulence we were dealing with.
While standing there in a cloud of sage and cannabis. And trying to convince myself that adulthood is not just paperwork, mystery smells, and emotional turbulence. I learned something that shook my spirit straight out of alignment. Somebody out there chooses to become a proctologist. Not “falls into it accidentally.” Not “lost a bet.” Not “was assigned by a vengeful guidance counselor.”
Let me tell you what set off this whole cleansing ritual. I learned that proctologists. The real, licensed, tax‑paying adults choose that career. A human being wakes up one morning, stretches, yawns, and says, “You know what? I want to spend the rest of my life abyss excavating the darkest corners of the human situation. They don’t get drafted. They don’t lose a bet. They don’t wake up in a Saw movie and have to pick between that and dentistry.
No. They look at the buffet of human professions and say, “Yes. The canyon. The cavern. The forbidden hallway. That’s my ministry.” And listen. I respect them. Somebody has to do it. But it will never be anyone in this house.
Coco climbed onto the laundry basket like she was about to deliver a royal decree.
“Mother,” she began with the tone of someone who has never been wrong in her life. She said, “I do not even look at my own butt. Why would I volunteer to examine strangers? I am a queen. Not a Rear‑End Archaeologist.” Then she knocked over a cup to punctuate her point.
Piper pulled out her clipboard like she was conducting federal interviews.
She said, “Let’s review my qualifications. I’m good at surveillance, judgment, filing complaints, identifying your mistakes in real time. And documenting chaos for legal and spiritual purposes.
“Now,” she continued, “let’s review what I am not qualified for.” I am not qualified for tunnel exploration. Human cave mapping. Backdoor diagnostics. And anything requiring latex gloves. She looked at me over her glasses (that she does not own) and added, “And neither are you.”
Tinkerbell arrived late, loud, and ready to deliver a keynote address.
And while pacing like a tiny insurance adjuster preparing to deny a claim she said, “Every household needs boundaries. And the boundary we are establishing today is simple. No one here is going into the human abyss professionally.” She then knocked a plant off the counter. I assume that was her way of cleansing the space.
Let’s be honest. We are a household of snacks, chaos, and questionable decisions. We are not a household of brave medical back‑alley expeditioners. And we are barely a household of people who can schedule our own appointments. If someone said, “Dana, your community needs you to become a proctologist.” I would simply pack a bag and move into the woods. The cats would follow while carrying clipboards, snacks, and a list of reasons why this was the correct choice.
Coco had declared the entire topic unconstitutional. Piper had drafted a 47‑page complaint titled “Absolutely Not: A Household Manifesto.” And Tinkerbell was in the corner performing a spiritual audit to determine which one of us invited this energy into the home. And honestly? She’s right to ask.
We are a household of snacks, naps, chaos, and questionable decision‑making. But we are not a household of brave medical cave divers. We can barely handle a vet appointments without forming a support group. And the very idea of any of us voluntarily entering the human abyss? Coco said, “she’d rather get a job.” Piper said, “she’d rather work retail.” And Tinkerbell said, “she’d rather reincarnate.”
We salute the proctologists of the world. We honor them. We appreciate their courage, training, and their commitment to the human cause. We thank you for your service. But in this house? Absolutely not. Not today. Not tomorrow. And not in any timeline where Coco is in charge of HR.
We will be over here lighting sage. Minding our business. And staying far, far away from the canyon of no return. By the end of this whole ordeal, it became painfully clear that me and these three furry unionized coworkers of mine are now going to have to schedule another therapy session. An emergency one, at that.
Coco needs to process the emotional violence of even hearing the word “proctologist.” Piper has to unpack the secondary trauma of documenting the conversation. And Tinkerbell? She’s already drafting a statement for the therapist titled “Boundaries, Backdoors, and Why My Household Must Never Speak of This Again.” Our poor therapist has her monumental work cut out for her.
And honestly, I’ll be right there on the couch with them. I’ll be clutching my emotional support iced coffee while explaining to our brave, patient and compassionate therapist how a simple morning spiraled into a full‑blown spiritual evacuation drill. We are not called to that ministry. And we will be processing the thought of it for weeks. And that, my friends, is where I set the mic gently on the floor. Walked away. And let the ancestors close the door behind me. Thanks for reading! And do what makes you happy.
Affirmation: I am divinely protected from careers, conversations, and chaos that are not meant for me. My household walks in clarity, boundaries, and the sacred right to say, ‘Absolutely not.’
“Back in the day might be gone. I’m still here. Creaking. Leaking. Laughing. And refusing to go quietly into anybody’s geological record.”
-This Puzzled Life
Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. “Back in the day” has officially stopped being a cute phrase. It has started functioning like a geological timestamp. We are no longer dealing with nostalgia. We are dealing with archaeology. And while we’re gathered here, let’s honor another painful reality. My pelvic floor, which has resigned from its position without notice, severance, or gratitude for years of loyal service. I used to laugh. I used to cough. I used to sneeze with confidence. Now? Every joyful moment is a bodily gamble. And my cats are watching me like I’m a malfunctioning water balloon.
My bladder used to be a vault. Fort Knox. A steel‑reinforced bunker. Now it’s a screen door in a hurricane. One giggle? A sprinkle. One cough? A drizzle. One sneeze? A flash flood warning. Tink, the union rep, carries a clipboard labeled “Mama’s Moisture Incidents.” Every time I laugh too hard, she checks a box and sighs like she’s disappointed in my performance review.
Meanwhile, My Colon Has Entered Its Renaissance. I don’t know who gave my colon the confidence to act like this, but it’s out here freelancing. A sneeze? “Let me contribute.” A cough? “I have thoughts.” A laugh? “I brought snacks.”
Piper, the dramatic CEO, escorts me to the bathroom like I’m a VIP guest at a scandalous event. Tail high. Judgment higher. Coco, head of security, treats every cough like a breach. And every laugh like a full‑scale emergency. If I chuckle, she sprints over like, “Ma’am, did something escape? Do I need to file a report?”
My Body Has Entered a New Era without consulting me, my ancestors, or the household democracy. Now my cats circle me like I’m a congressional hearing titled, “What Happened To Mama’s Knees.” Aging is not gentle. It is not poetic. It is a jump scare.
Piper has drafted a formal complaint titled, “Mama’s Joints: A Concerning Increase in Snap,Crackle, and Pop.” Tink follows me around like a Victorian widow who just discovered her inheritance is gone. Every time I bend over, she gasps like I’m performing a dangerous stunt. Coco treats my memory lapses as suspicious activity. If I walk into a room and forget why, she escorts me back out like, “Ma’am, this area is restricted until you recall your mission.”
Nobody warned me that aging comes with random brain glitches. I’ll be mid‑sentence, mid‑thought, mid‑Southern‑monologue and suddenly, poof my brain throws up a blue screen like an old Dell computer. My cats stare at me like I’m buffering. Tink even tapped my forehead once like she was checking the Wi-Fi connection.
I used to move like a person. Now I move like a haunted rocking chair. Every step is a creak. Every stretch is a negotiation. Every time I sit down, I release an involuntary “old person exhale” that sounds like I’m letting go of trauma. And the cats judge with the intensity of Southern aunties at a baby shower.
My knees have officially submitted paperwork titled, “We Did Not Sign Up For Stairs.” They’ve requested a mobility scooter, a heating pad stipend, and a written apology for every squat I’ve ever attempted. Piper stamped it “Approved” before I even finished reading it. I dropped something on the floor. I looked at it. It looked at me. We both understood it was staying there. Coco sniffed it and gave me a look that said, “Wow. She’s gone.” I sneezed. Just one. A cute one. And my bladder and colon both said, “Tag‑team?” My cats stared at me like I had just lost a custody battle with gravity.
“Back in the Day” Has Become a Unit of Measurement. Once upon a time, “back in the day” meant five years ago. Now it means before three presidents, two pandemics, and the rise and fall of skinny jeans. Scientists have the Jurassic, Triassic, and Cretaceous periods. We have
Back in the Day (Early Period): When my knees still believed in me.
Back in the Day (Middle Period): When I could sneeze without filing an insurance claim.
Back in the Day (Late Period): When my bladder wasn’t a part‑time sprinkler system.
Even my cats treat “back in the day” like it’s a historical documentary. Piper says, “Which era are we referencing, ma’am? Pre‑creak or post‑snap?” Tink stares out the window like she’s remembering a lost lover. Coco waits by the door like I’m supposed to take her there.
A sediment of memories. A fossil record of who you were before your joints started sounding like porch furniture in a horror movie. It’s weird. It’s humbling. It’s hilarious. It’s a little holy. My mind may wander. But it wanders toward wisdom. My body may creak. But it carries stories. My memory may glitch. But my spirit is sharper than ever. And my cats, judgmental, dramatic, chaotic, they’re my witnesses, my companions, my furry little archivists of this new era.
I’ve had more surgeries than a Real Housewife. And my uterus didn’t just get removed. She angrily quit. If she had a LinkedIn profile, she would list my hysterectomy as, “Voluntary separation from a hostile work environment.” She walked out, slammed the door, and said, “Y’all figure it out.” My gallbladder left early. My appendix said, “I was never needed anyway.” My tonsils left before the chaos even started. Now it’s just me, my stitches, and three cats running a post‑op reality show.
Things That Now Count as Cardio include putting on socks. Rolling over in bed. Getting out of a low chair. Sneezing. Thinking about laundry. And walking past the mailbox. My Fitbit is confused. It thinks I’m training for a marathon.
Aging may be turning my bladder into a leaky faucet. And my colon into a chaotic intern. But I’m still here laughing. Coughing. Sneezing. Leaking. Creaking. And telling the story. If my organs want to leave, fine. But the comedy? The comedy stays right here with me.
This is my era, the Drip Drop Dynasty, and I rule it with dignity, humor, and a strategically placed bathroom. Back in the day might be gone. But I’m still evolving. Still ridiculous. Still holy. And still funny enough to survive the Renaissance.
Affirmation: “I honor this body, this era, this chaos, and this comedy. I rise today with wisdom in my bones. Fire in my spirit. And three judgmental cats who remind me I’m still unstoppable.
This Puzzled Life 