Budtender Moment: Bat Shit Strain Review

“Bat Shit isn’t just a strain. It’s the moment your brain throws its hands up, laughs, and decides to take the scenic route back to sanity.”

 -Jenna “Highway to Chill” Morales, Cannabis Humorist & Accidental Philosopher

Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. Alright, let’s talk about a strain that does not care about your intentions, your plans, or your to‑do list. Bat Shit shows up like it’s been waiting in the parking lot revving its engine, ready to drag you into whatever nonsense it has planned. This is not a polite strain. This is a strain that kicks the door open like, “Who touched the thermostat?”

It’s Mental Health Awareness Month, and honestly, there has never been a better time to talk about a strain named Bat Shit. If there were ever a phrase that perfectly captures the moment when your brain quietly unplugs itself and walks off the job, it’s this one.

Bat Shit is the ultimate description of losing mental control. Not in a scary way, but in that “my thoughts just left the building without clocking out” kind of way. This strain doesn’t just nudge your mind off the rails; it hands your brain a tiny suitcase, waves goodbye, and wishes it luck on its journey. You know you’re about to experience something that understands chaos on a spiritual level. Bat Shit doesn’t arrive politely. It shows up like it’s been waiting in the parking lot revving its engine, ready to drag you into whatever nonsense it has planned.

Bat Shit is the love child of two strains that probably should’ve never been left alone together. It’s usually described as a cross between Gorilla Glue #4 x Durban Poison. Which explains why it feels like someone duct‑taped a rocket booster to a recliner. Gorilla Glue is a cross between Chem’s Sister x Sour Dubb x Chocolate Diesel. Durban Poison is a pure African Landrace Sativa from Durban, South Africa. That’s it. No chaotic crossbreeding. No dramatic lineage. Just a true landrace, meaning it evolved naturally in its native region over generations.

Top terpenes in bat shit are Myrcene, Limonene, Caryophyllene, and Pinene. Patients report relief from stress & anxiety, mood elevation, pain and inflammation, and fatigue. Some strains whisper. Some strains nudge. Bat Shit does neither. This strain busts through the door like it’s late for a meeting it wasn’t invited to, holding a gas station coffee and announcing, “Alright, who messed up the vibe in here?”

The moment I cracked the jar, the aroma hit me with the same force as opening a forgotten Tupperware in the back of the fridge. I knew immediately that whatever happened next, I would not be in charge. This strain has the energy of someone who shows up to your house, asks where the bathroom is, and somehow ends up reorganizing your pantry. Bat Shit does not ease you in. It hits like a plot twist in a show you weren’t even watching.

This is the strain that makes you forget what you were doing, why you were doing it, and whether you ever actually started. It’s is the friend who convinces you to rearrange your furniture at 2 a.m., then leaves halfway through because they “just remembered something.” You’ll be confused, entertained, and slightly concerned. But you’ll also be having a great time.

If you want a strain that delivers laughter, chaos, and a temporary break from being a functioning adult, Bat Shit is the one. Just don’t expect to remember where you put anything afterward. Please keep in mind that each grow will be different and the flower’s effects will differ depending on which region of the country that the plant is grown. Thanks for reading! Keep blazin.’

Affirmation: “I rise in my queerness, I breathe in my peace, and I stay lifted in a joy so loud and unapologetic that even the universe has to adjust its crown.”

***Don’t forget to watch the video!***

#Thispuzzledlife

Self‑Care: Because My Cats Are Tired of Babysitting My Burnout

“I’m not tired. I’m Southern‑tired. Which means my soul needs a nap. My spirit needs a snack. And my cats need me to stop acting like I’m immortal.”

-This Puzzled Life

Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Let the ancestors clock in for their shift. Today’s energy walked in here barefoot. Tracking mud across my spirit. And my Southern cats have already filed a complaint. Listen. If self‑care were a Southern woman, she’d be standing on your porch right now. Her hands on hips. Church finger raised saying, “Baby, you look tired. Not regular tired. The kind of tired where even your shadow needs to sit down.”

Let me tell you something right now. Self‑care is not optional. Self‑care is not a luxury. Self‑care is not “I’ll get to it after I finish these 47 tasks and emotionally babysit three grown adults.” Self‑care is a requirement like sweet tea at a funeral. Or humidity in July. And if you don’t believe me, that’s fine. The cats do. And they’ve unionized. The cats are inside holding a family meeting about your wellbeing like, “Bless her heart. She tried to drink coffee for hydration again.”

This is not a drill. This is a wellness emergency. This is FEMA‑level fatigue with a side of “I’ll rest when I’m dead.” And the cats have decided they will NOT be attending your funeral if you don’t get it together. Piper has already drafted a strongly worded letter to the universe. Coco is practicing her disappointed stare in the mirror. And Tinkerbell is pacing like she’s preparing to deliver a eulogy she absolutely does not have time for. They’re unified. They’re fed up. And they’ve declared you a Code Red Hot Mess until further notice.

Piper is perched on the counter like a tiny porch‑sitting auntie whispering, “Baby, cleanse this house before the chaos gets ideas.” Coco is circling my feet like she’s smudging the perimeter with her attitude alone. And Tinkerbell has taken her position by the window. And she’s staring into the horizon like she’s negotiating with forces I can’t see. We reclaim the room, the mood, and the moment. Negative energy gather your belongings and exit like you were raised right.

It started last Tuesday when I sat down on the couch. I was exhausted. And holding a cup of coffee that tasted like it had given up on life. Piper hopped up beside me, stared directly into my soul, and said (in fluent Southern telepathy),“Ma’am. When was the last time you drank water?”

Coco strutted in behind her like a wellness coach who charges $300 an hour and doesn’t take insurance. “And when,” she added, “was the last time you sat down without clenching your jaw like you’re trying to crack a pecan with your molars?” Tinkerbell didn’t say a word. She just placed one paw on my knee which is the universal sign for, “Baby, you’re running on fumes and spite.”

People hear “self‑care” and think it means a spa day, a $90 candle, or a bath bomb that promises enlightenment. But real self‑care is things like drinking water before your kidneys file a complaint. Saying “no” without writing a three‑paragraph apology. Resting because your body is not a rental car. Eating something green that didn’t come from a gummy bear. And getting enough rest so that your mind and body has time to digest what’s going on throughout our nation. It’s the quiet, unglamorous maintenance that keeps you from turning into a feral possum in a Dollar General parking lot.

Getting enough rest is not optional. It’s the bare‑minimum maintenance required to keep you from turning into a sleep‑deprived cryptid haunting your own kitchen. Your body is not a 24‑hour Waffle House. And yet you keep acting like folks can wander in at any hour demanding emotional hash browns “scattered, smothered, and covered.” Meanwhile, your Southern cats are watching you shuffle around the house like a ghost who missed their exit to the afterlife.

Piper keeps blinking slow like she’s trying to Morse‑code “go lay down.” Coco has already dragged a blanket onto the couch in protest. Tinkerbell is perched on the armrest while giving you that look that says, “If you don’t rest voluntarily, we will stage a wellness coup.” Rest is not laziness. Rest is strategy. Rest is how you keep your spirit from filing for divorce.

Piper naps 19 hours a day and feels no shame. Coco refuses to let anyone touch her unless she specifically requests it. Tinkerbell meditates by staring at the wall like she’s communing with the ancestors. These cats have boundaries so strong they could stop a hurricane. And here I am, letting people text me “hey u up?” at 6 AM like I’m a Waffle House.

Down South self‑care also means ignoring your phone like it’s a bill collector. Sitting on the porch and letting the breeze baptize you. Lighting a candle and telling the ancestors, “Handle it. I’m tired.” And eating a biscuit because joy is medicinal. And yes, sometimes it means telling your entire family, “I love y’all. But I’m off duty today. Please direct all emotional emergencies to Jesus or the group chat.”

Piper says, “Hydrate or diedrate.” Tinkerbell says, “Rest is resistance.” And Coco says, “If you don’t take care of yourself, I will sit on your chest until you do.” Honestly, that last one felt like both a threat and a blessing. You deserve rest. You deserve softness. You deserve to take care of yourself without guilt gnawing at your ankles. Self‑care is not selfish. Self‑care is how you stay alive. Stay sane. And stay Southern without cussing out the entire tri‑county area. This means that I also need to do better at self-care. 

So, here’s the truth. And it’s delivered with the force of a cast‑iron skillet hitting a countertop. If you don’t start taking care of yourself, your cats will file a formal complaint with the ancestors. And they will win. Rest. Hydrate. Set boundaries. Do it like your sanity depends on it because it does. We’ve still got many months of with this horrible administration.

Now go practice some self‑care before Piper drafts a PowerPoint. Coco calls HR. And Tinkerbell summons the spirits to intervene. And that’s on sweet tea, porch swings, and minding your blessed business. Thanks for reading! And know that you’re worth it.

Affirmation: I honor my rest. Protect my peace. And let my body recharge without guilt. Because even my ancestors and my cats agree that a well‑rested me is a powerful me.

***Don’t forget to watch the video!***

#ThisPuzzledLife

Budtender Moment: Plum Crazy Strain Review

“Some people meditate. I medicate.”

-Unknown

Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. Today, I want to tell you about a strain that goes along with Mental Health Awareness Month. And its name is Plum Crazy.

Plum Crazy is an 80/20 indica-dominant hybrid that is a cross between Original Blueberry x Purple Afghani. Original Blueberry is a cross between Afghani x Thai. And Purple Afghani is a cross between Afghani x Purple Kush. This strain has a very distinct blueberry taste. That also has the capability to mellow you out.

Top terpenes in this strain are B-Myrcene, B-Caryophyllene, and Limonene. Patients report relief from conditions like PTSD, insomnia, chronic fatigue, appetite loss, and nausea. Despite it’s indica dominance, it’s not crazy strong. But I would still use it in moderation. For me, any strain that has  Blueberry genetics works great on PTSD for me. I like it a little stronger, but this one is still very good medicine. This is a nice relaxing strain that’s perfect right before bedtime. Please keep in mind that each grow will be different and the flower’s effects will differ depending on which region of the country that the plant is grown. Thanks for reading! Keep blazin.’

Affirmation: I find comfort and tranquility within myself.

***Don’t forget to watch the video!***

#Thispuzzledlife

Budtender Moment: Alcapulco Gold Strain Review

“My favorite exercise is walking… to the fridge.”

-Unknown

Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. Today, I want to tell you about another strain that has been around for ever and ever, Amen. The name is Acapulco Gold.

Acapulco Gold is another sativa-dominant landrace strain. It’s roots trace it back to Acapulco, Mexico on the Mexican coast. And has been traced by to the 60s and 70s when this strain was dominating in cannabis categories. The flavoring notes the flavors of sweet, earthy, and spicy, burnt toffee or caramel, and sometimes citrus or pine depending on the phenotype. And that is what I experienced with the strain that I used. It almost has a patchouli feel in this strain. But the citrus is definitely the dominant flavoring in the strain that I tried.

Top terpenes in this strain are Myrcene, Caryophyllene, Limonene, and Pinene. Patients report relief from depression, stress, chronic fatigue, chronic pain, and insomnia. What I noticed quickly is how much better a mood that I was in. It absolutely turned that frown right side up. Please keep in mind that each grow will be different and the flower’s effects will differ depending on which region of the country that the plant is grown. Thanks for reading! Keep blazin.’

Affirmation: I consume with awareness, gratitude, and respect.

***Don’t forget to watch the video!***

#Thispuzzledlife

Budtender Moment: Super Lemon Haze Vape Cart Review

“Sativa makes me productive. Indica makes me forget what I was supposed to be productive about.”

-Unknown

Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. Today, I want to tell you about another widely known strain that will give you that attitude adjustment and the want to get up and go. Its name is Super Lemon Haze.

Super Lemon Haze is an 80/20 sativa-dominant strain. It is a cross between Lemon Skunk x Super Silver Haze. Lemon Skunk is a cross of two distinct Skunk phenotypes that were selected by the breeder specifically for their lemon traits. And those names are unknown. Super Silver Haze is a cross between Skunk x Northern Lights x Haze. When the two sides of this strain came together, it was a match made in heaven. It was developed in the late 1990s and popularized in the late 2000s by breeder Franco Loja. 

If you go solely on the names in the lineage, then we all know those “skunky” strains. And the Haze strains are the ones that taste a lot like mildew in your purple strains. What I can tell you about this strain is that the lemon flavoring is so strong that the strain taste is very enjoyable. I will caution you about the chance of increased anxiety is it’s overused. So, beware if you have anxiety issues.

The top terpenes in this strain are Limonene, Terpinolene, and B-Caryophyllene. Patients report relief from mood swings, stress, fatigue, and mild pain management. Please keep in mind that each grow will be different and the flower’s effects will differ depending on which region of the country that the plant is grown. Thanks for reading! Keep blazin.’

Affirmation:  I release tension, fear, and the stories that weigh me down.

***Don’t forget to watch the video!***

#Thispuzzledlife

Budtender Moment: Leprechaun Larry Strain Review

“The plant teaches patience, presence, and perspective.”

-Unknown

Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. Today, I want to tell you about a strain that is all about St. Patty’s Day. And it is called Leprechaun Larry.

Leprechaun Larry is sativa-dominant hybrid. It is a cross between Larry OG x Green Crack. Larry OG is a cross between OG Kush x SFV OG (San Fernando Valley OG). Green Crack is a cross between Skunk #1 x Afghani genetics. The taste profile consists of citrus peel, sweet herbs, and pine. This is a strain’s taste profile is one  that I have a difficult time of differentiating.

The top terpenes in this strain are Limonene, Terpinolene, and Pinene. Patients report experiencing better focus and creativity. And less stress, depression, mood swings, chronic fatigue, and ADD/ADHD. Make sure that you’re in a stable place with your anxiety before using this strain. Because it will definitely give you some pep in your step or a panic attack. Please keep in mind that each grow will be different and the flower effects, terpenes and genetics will differ depending on which region of the country that the plant is grown. Thanks for reading! Keep blazin.’

Affirmation: In this moment, I am safe, grounded, and enough.

***Don’t forget to watch the video!***

#Thispuzzledlife

Budtender Moment: Tangerine Dream Strain Review

“It’s not a drug, it’s a plant with attitude.”

-Unknown

Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. In keeping with the self-harm awareness color orange, I want to tell you about a strain called Tangerine Dream.

Tangerine Dream is a sativa-dominant hybrid that is a cross between G13 x Afghani x Neville’s A5 Haze. G13 exact parent strains are unknown. But we do know that it’s a 70/30 indica-dominant. Afghani is a landrace strain that is a pure indica. Haze is a blend of four landrace strain that are Mexican, Colombian, South Indian, and Thai stative strains.

Top terpenes in this strain are Myrcene, Caryophyllene, and Limonene. Patients report relief from arthritis, chronic pain, depression, fatigue, headaches, inflammation, insomnia, loss of appetite, migraines, and stress. The taste is definitely a sweet and fruity flavor. As with any sativa-dominant strain be aware that if you have a problem with anxiety, it can increase an already miserable anxiety situation. I have a lot of anxiety, and I always take it easy with these kinds of strains until I know how it will affect me. This strain isn’t as potent as Green Crack. Just don’t go crazy “hot boxing.” Thanks for reading! Keep blazin.’

Affirmation: I consume with intention and gratitude for the experience.

***Don’t forget to watch the video!***

#Thispuzzledlife

Budtender Moment: Polar Plunge Strain Review

“Don’t kill my high because you’re low.”

-Unknown

Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy, go away. Welcome again! Today, I want to review a strain known as Polar Plunge. I thought that while we are in a cooler season of the year, I would pick one to reflect that.

Polar Plunge is an interesting strain. Parent strains are a cross between Early Riser x Ice Box Pie. Early Riser is a 50/50 hybrid. However, the exact lineage is unknown. Ice Box Pie is a 70/30 indica-dominant hybrid. The genetics are a cross between Wedding Cake x Freeworld Chem. This strain has a little more sativa than what I like. However, it’s not too much to induce anxiety. Thank you, indicas.

Patients report relief from depression, nausea, stress, mood swings, chronic fatigue, and pain relief. This strain would be a good one for lunch break. It feels like a good balance. If you are sensitive to sativas, make sure and use in moderation. The terpene profile for these strains are B-Caryophyllene, a-Humulene, B-Myrcene. THC percentage is about mid-range. Thanks for reading. Keep blazin’.

Affirmation: Full bowls. Clean bongs. Can’t lose.

***Don’t forget to watch the video!****

#Thispuzzledlife

Budtender Moment: Soul Assassin Strain Review

“I don’t smoke marijuana, but I eat it.”

-Bob Dylan

Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. Today, I want to tell you about a strain called Soul Assassin. As domestic violence awareness month winds down and seeing the damage that abuse can do to someone, I thought that the cannabis strain for today was absolutely perfect. Because of being trapped mentally or physically from seeking freedom, often times for years, it feels like the perpetrator has literally assassinated your soul. 

Soul Assassin is a heavy indica-dominant hybrid. Domestic violence is something heavy that is like a wrecking ball in the victim’s life. But this strain is heavy in regard to healing. It’s just what the doctor order for the overstimulation of PTSD. The genetics of this strain is a cross between OG Kush x Sour Diesel. Most like myself, who have been in the cannabis community for many years, know that these are a couple strains that many would consider staples. OG Kush is a cross between Hindu Kush x Lemon Thai x Chemdawg. Sour Diesel is a cross between  Northern Lights x Chemdawg.

The medical benefits associated with this strain include relief from insomnia, anxiety, mood disorders, stress, chronic pain, depression, and inflammation. The top terpenes are B-myrcene, terpinolene, B-Pinene. I got a lot of relief with this strain. I would also encourage you to plan on not going anywhere. As “couchlock” can be a reality. Thanks for reading! Keep blazin.’

Affirmation: I smoke my weed and mind my business.

***Don’t forget to watch the video!***

#Thispuzzledlife