Tink And The Fart

“There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: Music and cats.”

-Albert Schweitzer

Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. One of my favorite things to do is writing captions and dialogs about my cats Tink and Coco. They both have a very extensive vocabulary. And even more developed is their imagination and view on life. Coco is a very dominant shorthair grey tabby who takes her seniority very seriously. And Tink is a very submissive calico who thinks that the closer she is with her momma, the happier she is. She does, however, have one major problem. She likes to “crop dust” her farts all over my house and on me. She has absolutely no conscience about doing so. Now, sit for a few minutes and enjoy reading, “Tink and the Fart.”

Tink: “Oh that’s a good one!!”

Coco: “Tink did you fart?!”

Tink:”Yes. I was playing with our shiny toy balls and my stomach slammed on breaks and said, “Fart Now! Fart Now!” So I did and I feel better.”

Coco: “Well I’m on the brink of death! Who or what did you eat?!”

Tink: “I don’t have to tell you anything!”

Coco: “I know your butt told me what you did!”

Tink: “Momma!!!!!”

Me: “What is that screaming?!  OMG, Tink did you fart?”

Coco: “Yes Ma’am. And I think she summoned a demon when she did it. She did it under the sign you had posted.”

Tink: “Yes sorry. It slipped.”

Me: “Coco, what are you doing?!”

Coco: “I’m looking for good air anywhere I can find it.”

Me: “In the sock drawer, really?”

Coco: “I was desperate.  Momma hurry grab the zofran!!”

Me: “Coco y’all are such drama queens.”

Coco: “But I can’t breathe and I see Nannie!”

Tink: “That’s right. You big baby!”

Me: “Hold up. If you farted and are now seeing Nannie that means you are close to death.”

Coco: “You have no idea how close.  you’re going to pay big for that one, Tink!”

Coco: “Mama, now I’m seeing Nannie and Jesus! I see the bright light, too!!!!”

Me: “Where, Coco, where?”

Coco: “They’re on the ceiling.”

Me: “Coco stop looking at the ceiling!!!”

Coco: “Where did the bright light, Nannie and Jesus go?”

Me: “Coco, you were not about to die. You were looking at the lights on the ceiling fan.”

Coco: “But what about Nannie and Jesus?”

Me: “Nope. Seeing Jesus after cat fart poisoning is highly unlikely.”

Coco: “But mama? I could’ve died. Tink, you better not ever close your eyes!!!”

Me: “Coco you better not hurt her. Remember SHELTER!!  2 female cats = Drama”

“Love is like a fart, it comes unexpectedly.”

-Unknown

Affirmation: “I embrace my farts and all their glory.”

***Don’t forget to watch the video!***

#Thispuzzledlife

Welcome Home, Tinkerbell!

“Rescuing one cat won’t change the world but it will change the world for one cat.”

-Unknown

After the death of my sweet little Marley, my aching heart cried out for another cat. I soon brought Coco into my life. But even then, something didn’t sit right with me. I sat with that feeling for about a year stumped me at what it all meant. One day, like a light bulb, it would be revealed that I had a cat shaped hole still in my heart. I thought back to when I had Simba and Nalla and how devasting it was to see and experience the loss while watching the other one go around looking for the missing one and calling her through the meowing. They were littermates and kept each other company when I got busy. I always said that if I ever decided to have cats again, I would make sure and have two. I struggled so hard with the decision because my heart and mind weren’t in complete agreement. Would I, once again, be able to be vulnerable enough to step out and take that chance again? Turns out I did.

Returned to the same veterinary clinic and asked if they had any female kittens that needed a home. I didn’t care about the color or the markings. One of the receptionists said, “I think so.” She called to the back and within minutes a technician brought me the prettiest little calico. When our eyes met instantly I needed her, and she needed me. I was told that her name was Maisie. I said, “Today her name is Tinkerbell (Tink).”

I left the clinic with that sweet baby in my arms. I began to feel the healing of my heart wound. My only concern was how Coco would adjust. They both hissed at one another the rest of the day. By morning they were both peacefully sleeping and seemed to be getting along great. I was told by the clinic that her health was in good shape. But this little girl was walking, crouching and sitting like something was wrong. I panicked thinking, “Please not again!” my heart was beginning to retract. next place I checked was the litter box for anything abnormal other than their regular Tootsie Rolls. There was the most horrid diarrhea that I had ever seen. That was not the sign of a healthy kitty. She would constantly be going back-and-forth to the litterbox. My entire house smelled like I had been cooking a turd casserole. And This went on for a week. I felt so bad for her. She would play and then suddenly curl up into a black, white and orange ball of fur. She had a severe case of intestinal worms. I’m assuming that she had been given dewormer. Gradually, she started getting better.

The girls’ personalities instantly began to blossom. And have been the best of friends ever since. “Tink” has always looked to Coco for guidance on how to be a cat. Some of the instances are quite funny. Just to imagine their “supposed” conversations and I get to have a nice laugh.

Living as a friend, sister, niece, aunt, daughter and mom with a traumatic past isn’t always about being sad or depressed. I try to go through life laughing, as much as possible, when the moment arises. It’s who I am. And it saved my life. 

Please continue to read this blog as funny short stories, dialogs, and captions I will post soon.

“Not all angels have wings. Some have whiskers.”

-Unknown

 #Thispuzzledlife