You Can’t Pray the Gay Away, But You Sure Can Expose the Hypocrisy: A Southern Queer Survival Guide

“If your faith requires someone else to suffer, it’s not holy. It’s just dressed‑up cruelty.”

-This Puzzled Life

Light the charcoal. Apparently the courts woke up. Stretched. Sipped their Folgers and said, “Hmm. What if we brought back psychological torture today?” And the conservative Christians said, “YAY! Revival!” Meanwhile, every queer person in the South is standing on their porch like, “Lord, give me strength, patience, and a Xanax the size of a biscuit.”

Down here in Mississippi, we know hypocrisy like we know humidity. It clings. It suffocates. It ruins your hair and your spirit at the same time. And nothing brings out the hypocrisy quite like a ruling that says, “Sure, go ahead and traumatize queer people in the name of Jesus. He won’t mind.” These folks will tell you with a straight face that they’re doing this out of “love.” If that’s love, then I’m a straight man named Bubba who drives a lifted truck and says “bro” every six seconds.

Let’s be honest. This ruling isn’t about saving souls. It’s about controlling bodies. It’s about punishing difference. It’s about making queer people small enough to fit inside their narrow theology and even narrower worldview. And the wildest part? These are the same people who can’t keep their own households together. The same people who preach “traditional marriage” while living like a deleted storyline from a messy reality show. The same people who scream “protect the children!” While ignoring the actual dangers children face like abuse, exploitation, and the youth pastor who keeps volunteering for overnight trips.

But sure. Let’s focus on the gays. Because we’re clearly the problem. Not the pastors who keep getting “relocated.” Not the lawmakers who can’t keep their pants zipped. Not the “family values” influencers who spend more time in hotel rooms than in prayer.

Let me break it down in terms even a conservative uncle can understand. You cannot convert someone out of being gay. You cannot shame someone out of being gay. You cannot therapy someone out of being gay. You cannot “deliverance session” someone out of being gay. Unless the only thing you’re delivering is trauma.

If sexuality were a choice, don’t you think I would’ve chosen something easier? Something with less paperwork? Something that didn’t require me to explain myself at every family gathering like I’m giving a TED Talk in a Cracker Barrel? But no. God made me like this. Curved, colorful, and incapable of pretending otherwise.

You could dangle 45 sets of dangly bits in front of me like a clearance sale at Spencer’s Gifts and I still wouldn’t be straight. But put me in front of some boobs and a cooter cat and suddenly I’m glowing like a porch light in July. That’s not a choice. That’s not a phase. That’s not a “lifestyle.” That’s divine architecture.

If you want to stay in the closet because it feels safer, I get it. But don’t pretend it’s holiness. Don’t pretend it’s righteousness. Don’t pretend it’s “God’s plan.” It’s fear. And fear is the currency of conservative Christianity. I sprinted out of the closet like it was on fire. And I’ve been free ever since. Even with my own family members who weaponize scripture like it’s a Nerf gun filled with shame. I send that mess right back to sender with a smile and a boundary. Chosen family is where the love lives. Chosen family is where the truth lives. Chosen family is where the rainbow was always meant to shine.

Theo rainbow is divine reassurance. It’s God saying, “Relax. I made y’all fabulous on purpose.” No court ruling can change that. No pastor can change that. No conversion therapist with a clipboard and a superiority complex can change that. We are here. We are queer. We are not going anywhere. And we are not apologizing for existing.

So let the smoke rise like a prayer the evangelicals forgot to proofread. Stand tall in your queerness like a magnolia tree that refuses to bow to the storm. Because here’s the truth they don’t want to face. Every time they try to erase us. We multiply. Every time they try to shame us. We shine harder. Every time they try to legislate us out of existence. We become louder, brighter, and more unbothered than ever.

Their hypocrisy is loud. But our joy is louder. Their cruelty is sharp. But our resilience is sharper. Their fear is deep. But our love is deeper. And at the end of the day, when the court rulings fade. When the sermons lose their sting. When the shame campaigns collapse under their own weight. We will still be here laughing. Loving. Living. Thriving. Dancing in the rainbow God hung in the sky as a reminder that storms don’t last forever.

So let them clutch their pearls. Let them scream about “family values.” Let them pretend their closets don’t have motion‑activated lights. We know the truth. You damn sure cannot stop the rainbow from rising. Mic dropped. Floor cracked. Hypocrisy exposed. Amen and pass the sweet tea. Thanks for reading! And Happy Pride year-round. What are your thoughts on this type of ruling?

Affirmation: “My identity is divine. My joy is sacred. And no court, church, or closet can dim the rainbow God put in my soul.”

***Don’t forget to watch the video!!!

#ThisPuzzledLife

Dear World, Please Don’t Give Up on Us: A Love Letter From a Blue Dot in the Red Sea

“Hope isn’t blind. It’s stubborn. It keeps standing up even when the world keeps trying to knock it sideways.” 

-A Blue Dot American Who Refuses to Sit Down

 Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Tell the ancestors to clock in for overtime. Lord help us, y’all. The United States is going through it. And by “it,” I mean the kind of national meltdown that makes you look around and say, “Surely this is a deleted scene from a dystopian comedy that never made it to Netflix because the plot was too unrealistic.” Yet here we are. Living it. Breathing it. And trying not to scream into a pothole on I‑59.

To the rest of the world:

Please don’t give up on us. I promise you the majority of Americans are not standing behind the chaos, cruelty, or conspiracy‑soaked nonsense that has taken over our headlines. Most of us are exhausted, horrified, and Googling “how to apply for dual citizenship at 2 a.m.while clutching a heating pad and a prayer. We see the instability. We see the authoritarian vibes. We see the white‑nationalist cosplay that keeps popping up like mold in a damp apartment. And we’re fighting it loudly, creatively, and with the kind of determination only a country built on protest can muster.

Yes, we know our leadership looks like a fever dream. Some people in power are making decisions that feel like they were written by a committee of raccoons who found a bottle of expired cough syrup. And our country is being run by a pube signature. Some are facing public scrutiny over their past associations. They include the widely reported connections between political figures and Jeffrey Epstein’s social circle. And the public has every right to demand transparency, accountability, and the full truth. People across the political spectrum have been calling for the release of all relevant documents. Because sunlight is still the best disinfectant. Meanwhile, the rest of us are over here like, “Hey world, please don’t judge us by the loudest people in the room. We’re trying to get the remote back from the uncle who keeps changing the channel to chaos.”

To our allies abroad:

We still see you as family. We still believe in cooperation, democracy, and global peace. We still want to stand shoulder‑to‑shoulder with you. And not stomp around the world stage like a toddler who missed naptime. Please keep talking to your governments about ways to support democracy here. Not because we’re helpless. But because democracy is a team sport. And right now, our team captain keeps wandering off the field.

About the weaponized religion situation. Listen. I grew up in the Deep South. I know about Jesus. I know his work. I know his vibe. And I can tell you with full confidence that Jesus would be flipping tables so fast in Mississippi right now that he’d qualify for CrossFit. The loudest “Christian” voices down here aren’t preaching love, compassion, or justice. They’re preaching fear, control, and purity culture. Which is ironic considering how many of their own scandals keep popping up like whack‑a‑moles at the county fair.

Not all Christians are like this. Some are kind, loving, justice‑oriented people who actually read the parts of the Bible about caring for the oppressed. But in Mississippi I can count those folks on one hand and still have fingers left to hold my sweet tea.

And for the record. I embrace all religions. All ethnicities. All genders. All sexual orientations. All cultures. Except the ones built on cruelty, control, or harming children. If you come to this country with love in your heart and respect for human dignity, you’re welcome at my table. I’ll even make you cornbread.

If you are brown, seeking asylum, fleeing violence, or simply trying to give your babies a better life. You are welcome in the America I believe in. The real America. The one with a heartbeat. The one that remembers its own immigrant roots even when our politicians pretend they sprouted straight out of the soil like turnips.

The America I love has always been a patchwork quilt of cultures, languages, and stories. And it has been stitched together by people who crossed oceans, deserts, and borders because hope was louder than fear. That America still exists. It’s bruised, tired, and currently being held hostage by people who think compassion is a weakness. But it’s still here. And it’s not going anywhere.

We just have to clean our governing house first. And Lord when I say “clean,” I don’t mean a light dusting. I mean roll up your sleeves. Put on the yellow gloves. And open every window because something in here died in 1987. And nobody ever dealt with it. The corruption runs deep. Deep like “you’re gonna need a shovel, a headlamp, and maybe a priest” deep. We’re not afraid of hard work. We built this country on hard work. We can rebuild it the same way.

And let me say this plainly. Donald Trump does not speak for us. Not for the majority. Not for the heart of this country. Not for the people who still believe in democracy, dignity, and basic human decency. Millions of Americans across races, religions, genders, and backgrounds are fighting every single day to protect what’s left of our democratic institutions. They’re marching, voting, organizing, educating, and refusing to be bullied into silence. We’re not giving up. We’re not backing down. We’re not letting authoritarianism take root in the soil our ancestors bled to cultivate.

The heart of the United States will return. I believe that with everything in me. Not because things look good. Because they don’t. Not because the path is easy. Because it isn’t. But because the soul of this country has always been bigger than the people trying to tear it apart. We’ve survived wars, depressions, pandemics, corruption, and more than one leader who thought the Constitution was optional reading. We’ll survive this too. The real America is the one built on courage, diversity, and stubborn hope. And it is still here. Still fighting. Still glowing like a blue dot in a sea of red hats. Thanks for reading! And Fuck Donald Trump, ICE, and MAGA.

Affirmation: I glow in the dark. I stand in the storm. And I refuse to let chaos speak louder than my courage. My voice, my vote, and my hope are stronger than any tyrant’s tantrum.

***Don’t forget to watch the video!***

#ThisPuzzledLife

Ridiculous Quotes Made By Donald Trump Pt. 2

“You ever have second thoughts about something?”

-Donald Trump

Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. Ok, let’s continue.

1.        “The Biden administration had spent $8 million dollars to make mice transgender.”

What he was actually referring to is the term “transgenic mice.” This is a process where scientists add human cells to mice to enable them to more accurately study the effect of disease on human tissues. Not changing the gender.

https://www.wcpo.com/transgender-mice-fact-check-trump-2025#:~:text=%22Just%20listen%20to%20some%20of,and%20gender%20influences%20in%20asthma%22

2.        “Show me someone with no ego and I’ll show you a big loser.”-Trump: How To Get Rich, 2004 

I think most of the American people can agree that your ego, in conjunction with dementia, narcissistic personality disorder, and the emotional maturity of a toaster, is all the proof that we need to see what the definition of a “big loser” means.

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/tv/2024/02/01/quiz-the-apprentice-bbc-donald-trump/#:~:text=%E2%80%9CShow%20me%20someone%20with%20no,show%20you%20a%20big%20loser.%22

https://www.shortlist.com/news/most-ridiculous-trump-quotes-ever

 

3.        “She does have a very nice figure…If Ivanka weren’t my daughter, perhaps I would be dating her.” -The View, 2006 

That’s a heck of a thing to say about your daughter, Donald. But I’m sure Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislane Maxwell could verify whether or not you had sexual relations by girls. “Some on the younger side.”

https://www.cbsnews.com/pictures/wild-donald-trump-quotes/#:~:text=On%20Ivanka,Joel%20Page/Reuters

 https://www.shortlist.com/news/most-ridiculous-trump-quotes-ever

4.        “I don’t know if you saw. Little things such as the cost of eggs-little to you, but big to the people out there. Down almost 30%, in the last, eh, few days.” Press conference March 2025.

Actually, prices of everything has continued to rise.

https://m.economictimes.com/magazines/panache/donald-trumps-shocking-comment-on-egg-prices-sparks-internet-outrage-is-it-just-a-little-thing/articleshow/119266681.cms#:~:text=Trump’s%20Egg%2Dciting%20Declaration%E2%80%94Fact,US%2C%20even%20more%20than%20drugs

5.        “I look at some of these agreements and I say, who would ever sign a thing like this. The tariffs will go forward, yes. We’ll make up a lot of territory. Our country will be liquid and rich again.”

Trump himself signed “those things.” Trump said this in reference to trade deals, specifically those with Mexico and Canada (NAFTA).

https://ustr.gov/trade-agreements/free-trade-agreements/united-states-mexico-canada-agreement#:~:text=The%20United%20States%2DMexico%2DCanada%20Agreement%20(USMCA)%20entered,farmers%2C%20ranchers%2C%20and%20businesses.

6.        “These things don’t work, I’ve had them many times, and on occasion, they break, they explode. If something’s hot, they don’t last very long, like a matter of minutes, sometimes a matter of seconds. It’s a ridiculous situation.”

Referring to the dangers of plastic straws. I have used many of this same product. And not one time have they ever exploded.

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025/feb/10/trump-plastic-straws-executive-order

7.        “They are dangerous. You see what’s happening up in the Massachusetts area with the whales…The windmills are driving the whales crazy, obviously.”

Wow, Donald! When did you finish school with a degree in Whale Psychology and Abnormal Behavior?

https://www.capecodtimes.com/story/news/2025/01/09/trump-wind-energy-whale-deaths-ma-offshore-fact-check/77551616007/

8.        “I never understood wind. You know, I know windmills very much. They’re noisy. They kill the birds. You want to see a bird graveyard? And they say the noise causes cancer.”

I will put going to see a bird graveyard on my bucket list. About the only place you would see this describe scenario is if an entire flock of birds flew into a shredder and they were then called “Shredded Tweet.”

https://www.cnn.com/2019/04/03/politics/trumps-war-on-windmills-now-includes-wild-cancer-claim#:~:text=Over%20the%20weekend%2C%20Donald%20Trump,making%20earlier%20in%20the%20year.

9.        “The kidney has a very special place…in the heart.” 

Holy Hell. Donald has no idea where his organs are located. Ok. Maybe he knows where one of his organs is located.

https://trumpwhitehouse.archives.gov/briefings-statements/remarks-president-trump-signing-executive-order-advancing-american-kidney-health/

10.   “And then I see the disinfectant, where it knocks it out in a minute. One minute. And is there a way we can do something like that, by injection inside or almost a cleaning.”

Trump wondered aloud if injecting disinfectants could be a way to stop Covid. I can tell you that it would be the last time you would ever need to inject bleach.

11.   “They start forming off the coast of Africa, as they’re moving across the Atlantic, we drop a bomb inside the eye of the hurricane, and it disrupts it. Why can’t we do that?”

“Put the nuclear codes down and step away from your position of power!”

https://www.cnn.com/2019/08/26/politics/donald-trump-nuclear-bombs-hurricanes

There is one final blog that is left in this series. If you aren’t paying attention to current politics, you need to. And I’m not talking about immersing yourself in FOXNEWS. Look at more than one source and educate yourself about the horrors that are going on within our country. We are in unprecedented times that I never thought that I would witness. And our very precious and admirable democracy is at stake.

Affirmation: I resolve to seek validation from myself and like-minded individuals, not from those who have harmed me.

***Don’t forget to watch the video***

#Thispuzzledlife