Kids Say The Darndest Things

“The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.”

-Unknown

Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away! Whew! That’s my favorite part. I feel better now. I know that it’s been several days since I wrote my last blog. Sorry, but elbow surgery makes typing almost impossible. One of the coolest things about being around kids are the innocent and endless questions and rationale. Since finding out more information about my own childhood, my parents, friends and family have told me about various behaviors and questions that I said and done. Now that I have more children around me, I now understand just how it all looks and sounds. Check out these comedic statements.

Marshall (much younger): “Momma Mel, do you know what G-netic sand is?”

Momma Mel: “I think you mean K-Netic sand.”

Marshall: “No watch me. G-G-Genetic sand.”

Marshall (much younger}: “Momma Mel, have you ever been on Tweeter?”

Momma Mel: “Do you mean Twitter?”

Marshall: “No Tweeter!”

Me: “Wow son. We’ve had it wrong all this time.”

 

Me: “Son, I didn’t see it at Walmart.”

Copeland: “Well did you check the app?”

Me: “Did you realize that there was no Walmart when I was a kid?”

Copeland: “I know. That was back in the day.”

(I had no comeback)

 

Me: “Boys, we can’t go out for fast food tonight. It’s too expensive.”

Copeland: “Awe. Did you check the dollar menu?”

Me: “Did you check the pantry?”

 

Copeland: “Momma D, now that you are old can you tell me about your childhood?”

Me: “Dude let’s get one thing straight. I’m not old because I grew up in the 80s. And 80s kids don’t age.”

Copeland “No you’re old because you didn’t have YouTube and Dollar Tree.” (Silence)

 

Me “Boys I’m not going to raise y’all on McDonald’s.”

Copeland: “Well you can just raise us on Chick-Fil-A.”(Again silence)

 

Me: “Ok. I found the item you wanted.”

Male child: “Please order from our country!”

 A lot of my little visitors love to see me so that they can play with my cats Coco and Tinkerbell. Ava Grace, my niece, was overheard asking these questions.

Ava Grace: “Coco you want some cookies? What’s the passcode?

She also proceeded to tell me a little bit of unknown history about my parents black and white stray cat named Oreo

AG: “Oreo’s mother was killed in a car wreck. Did you know that?”

Me: “Like his “cat momma?”

AG: “Yea, it was very sad.”

Copeland and I love to shoot fireworks. Check out these below.

Copeland: “Momma, when I get older, I want to do arson.”

Me: “Wait what?!”

Copeland: “Yea, I love playing with fireworks.”

Me: “Son, that is a pyro! Arson is a felony.”

Copeland: “Just don’t call the cops.”

 

Copeland lit a firework that was a strobe light. 

Copeland: “Momma that light is giving me amnesia.”

Me: “What?! Son that light can cause seizures not amnesia.”

 

Copeland called me over to the fireworks that he shot. 

Copeland: “Hey, mom you know you don’t have to pick up the leftover paper.”

Me: “Yes we do, son.”

Copeland: “Well the paper will evaporate.”

Me: “Do you mean disintegrate?”

Copeland: “Yea, whatever.”

 

Copeland: “mom this bread stuff is so good. Maybe we should tell poppa thank you right now, so he’ll go get some more.” 

One day when the boys were staying with me, I told them in the evening that we all had to take showers or baths. Copeland for whatever reason wants me to sit and talk to him when he’s bathing. 

Me: “Son you’re big enough to take baths by yourself.” 

Trying his best to create a reason for me to go sit with him he shouts, “Mom! I need you!” 

Me: “No you don’t. Take your bath.”

Copeland: “But I need you to help me! I have problems!” 

Me: “What is the problem?” 

Copeland: “The soap is decaying in the bathtub!”

Marshall (much younger)” Next time grandmother says she wants to do something. Tell her No! No! No! Marshall, my kid, thinks that is boring. And he just wants to stay home and play with his precious titanic.”

Copeland: “My bath water is so good. And it doesn’t even have pee in it.”

Copeland: “Adults have difficult lives. They have to worry about tax evasion, fraud and defamation.”

 

Mason age 9: “I tried Nutella. It’s the closest thing to poop!”

 

Copeland: I’m single and ready to mingle!”

 

Mason: “I like my teacher, Ms. Lee. Because she can moonwalk.”

 

Copeland: “I got a mani petty last night.”

 

Mason: “My uncle is a black cheerleader.”

Copeland: “If someone has abs does their belly button cut them off? Or do they cut off your belly button?”

“If you fart twice, you’ll see some mice!” Copeland age 9  

“When your child tries to make you laugh, laugh. They love to hear your laughter as much as you love to hear theirs.”

-Unknown

***Don’t forget to watch the video below!”

#Thispuzzledlife

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