Searching For Truth
“If you’re searching for a quote that puts your feelings
into words – you won’t find it.”
It’s days like today that I wonder what I could’ve done wrong? Did I do something to make the perpetrators conduct evil? Today, they sit with their families and enjoy time together. And I on the other hand sit and continue to be tormented by things they have done. My rational mind tells me that I’ve survived and that was what I was supposed to do. However, there are times throughout the day that makes me wonder what the hell I’ve done wrong by surviving. My life is chaotic both internally and externally depending on how you see it. I simply want to walk around my room with a purpose. Others could careless what happens to me…. them. I have worked hard to become who and what I am. I am what I am but a “headcase” not quite. You see that’s the only thing I was called for many years. My name disappeared and I became “headcase.” All I want is to be able to be the controller of my life. I want love and to be heard that what I tell you is believed. Perpetrators are great at teaching us that no one will believe our stories or jail would be a consequence for telling stories. I just want to know that I’m being believed. I don’t know why I’m writing other than to say that I need to be heard. I’ve said this from the beginning and satisfaction is not believed at least today. I have been imprisoned by their evil and they have been imprisoned by nothing. How do we settle the score? We just keep pushing forward in the search for truth. Searching for the “TRUTH “that seems to elude us all.