The Day I Left
You bought me with your words
To make me into who you wanted me to be
I was now your ball of clay
And it all began on that day.
Day after day with orders spoken in my ear
Words that burn and ones I can clearly hear
Laughing and smiling while you mold me
Please just let me be who I want to be.
“No you will do what I say!”
I screamed, “Someone help me!” But they were so far away.
Speaking a language called fear
I wish my cries someone could hear.
There was nowhere to go, I was trapped again.
Scared as I was I knew I couldn’t win.
I couldn’t feel but I could see it all being done.
By the expression on his face, I could also see he was having lots of fun.
Each fiery lash from your tongue would damage me more and more.
And later from the ceiling I saw myself lying fetal on that
cold bathroom floor.
The game was one of survival and that I could see.
He wasn’t even close to the end of hurting me.
Bits and pieces I shattered like shards of glass and he couldn’t see
I didn’t know how much it drained the life right out of me.
When the cops weren’t there you wish they were.
But when they got there with fingers pointed they say, “It was her!”
Their eyes met mine and I knew that I had just been put in check
Scared that if I said a word hands would again be put around my neck.
This situation was getting worse and unsure how it might end
He had isolated me away from everyone and now I had very few friends.
I couldn’t be honest and cry my tears because someone would know.
How I let him treat me like a dog and his “beck and call” ho.
I had to leave and get out somehow because safety was looking bleak
But to get out of a situation like this, behind his back I would sneak.
Many weeks later that day would finally come and I would feel no pain.
I was turning my back on my “master” and I left carrying with me years
of guilt and shame.
Walking another lonely road looking for someone to help
But being the abused and injured dog with every step I would yelp.
Champions hold their heads high even with injuries and pain
Because through their strength and courage others will also gain.
I walk away still going forward in the opposite direction from you.
Looking for someone to help me work
through the abuse that could’ve been prevented by you two.
You think that you defeated me all those times you saw red
Because the only reason I won’t keep going is if I’m lying dead
You did nothing about your trauma and yes that was your choice
But writing gives me something I’ve never had……A strong and confident voice.
By: Dana Landrum-Arnold