The Feline Farm Bill: My Cats Regulate Hemp Now

“Hemp is strong. Sustainable. And slightly less dramatic than the cats in this house.”

-This Puzzled Life

Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. If we’re going to honor National Hemp Month, we need the ancestors, the angels, and at least three bored saints on standby. The spirits of Southern chaos have already begun circling the living room like they’re waiting for a casserole to come out the oven. The energy in this house is already vibrating like a Dollar General ceiling fan on its last screw. And Piper has been pacing the hallway like she’s waiting for a verdict from the Supreme Court of Snacks.

The moment the sage smoke curled upward, Piper burst into the room wearing a bathrobe she absolutely stole from the clean laundry basket. 

She spoke like she was about to deliver a prophecy.

Piper: “Momma, it is Hemp Month. I have prepared a statement.”

Before I could respond, Coco slid in behind her like a baseball player stealing home. She was holding a bag of Temptations in her mouth like a union negotiator arriving with concessions. She mumbled through the bag.

Coco: “I’m here in solidarity, And also because I heard hemp can be used to make rope. And rope can be used to hang treat piñatas.”

From above us, on top of the fridge, Tinkerbell let out the kind of sigh that only a cat who has read the Constitution twice can produce.

Tinkerbell: “You two are embarrassing. Hemp is an agricultural commodity with a nuanced regulatory framework. Not a snack-based holiday.”

Piper gasped.

Piper: “Everything is a snack-based holiday if you believe hard enough.”

And that’s when I knew that this intro needed to be fortified. This month needed to be fortified. I needed to be fortified. So, I sprinkled more sage. A little more charcoal. And maybe a splash of holy water for good measure.

If National Hemp Month is going to happen in thishousehold, I’m going to need the strength of industrial hemp itself. It’s flexible. Resilient. And capable of withstanding the absolute foolishness of three feline revolutionaries who think they’re about to unionize the living room. And that’s just the intro.

I swear. I was just trying to light a candle and mind my business. And Piper came skidding into the kitchen like she’d been summoned by the Department of Agriculture itself.

Piper: “We must prepare the house.”

Coco peeked around the corner holding a bag of treats like a bribe. 

Coco: “I’m just here to support the movement and also to see if snacks are involved.”

Tinkerbell: “Both of you are unserious. Hemp is a versatile agricultural commodity with a complex regulatory history. And you, she pointed a paw at Piper, are wearing a cape made from a dish towel.”

Piper: “It’s ceremonial.” 

I tried to explain that National Hemp Month is about education, sustainability, and celebrating a plant that has been misunderstood more than a Southern woman who says, “I’m fine.” Piper had already declared herself Hemp Czar and was marching through the house inspecting imaginary crops.

Coco: “Do hemp farmers get snacks? Because I’m willing to pivot careers.”

Tinkerbell rolled her eyes so hard I heard it.

Tinkerbell: “Hemp is federally legal, Coco. You don’t get snacks for following the law.”

Coco: “Then what’s the point?” 

Tinkerbell cleared her throat like she was about to read from the Book of Revelation.

Tinkerbell: “Under the 2018 Farm Bill, hemp was federally legalized as long as it contains no more than 0.3 percent THC. States regulate production through USDA-approved plans. And farmers must test crops to ensure compliance. Some states are stricter. Some are looser. And all of them are confused. Hemp is legal. But only if it behaves.”

Piper: “So if the hemp gets too excited, it becomes a criminal?”

Tinkerbell: “Yes. Just like you after 9 p.m.”

I tried to bring the energy back to something wholesome.

Me: “Let’s honor the plant. Let’s celebrate sustainability, fiber, textiles, and-”

But Piper cut me off.

Piper: “Momma, I have prepared a speech.”

She climbed onto the coffee table. Cleared her throat. And declared,

Piper: “Hemp is the fabric of our future. Also, I request a hemp hammock, a hemp scratching post, and a hemp crown.”

Coco clapped

Coco: “I second the crown.”

Tinkerbell stared at me like, “This is your circus. These are your monkeys.”

By the end of the night, Piper had drafted a “Hemp Bill of Rights.” Coco had eaten half a bag of treats in the name of activism. And Tinkerbell had filed three formal complaints with the imaginary Feline Ethics Committee.

And me? I blew out the sage. Looked at my household of furry legislators. And whispered, “Lord, give me the strength of industrial hemp to withstand the foolishness of this house.” Curtain closed. Hemp Month survived. Thanks for reading! Stay educated. What do you think about the current legislation regarding hemp?

Affirmation: “I honor the plant. Embrace the chaos. And stay grounded even when my cats form a hemp committee without my consent.”

***Don’t forget to watch the video!***

#ThisPuzzledLife

Invisible Drones, Algae Shots & Cage Fights on the Lawn: America Has Officially Lost the Plot

“If the government wanted to distract us, they should’ve at least been successful at cleaning the pool first.”

-This Puzzled Life

 Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Tell the ancestors to bring EVERYTHING. Because today, we are grilling the latest chapter in the Trump Administration’s™ ongoing performance art piece titled: “What If Government, But Make It Walmart at 2 AM?”

My ancestors, who survived famine, war, plagues, the Great Depression, disco, and the invention of mayonnaise‑based salads, are hovering in the afterlife clutching rosaries, moonshine, and emotional support cigarettes. They whisper, “We did not cross oceans for this.” “We did not survive smallpox for this.” “We did not wear powdered wigs for this.” And yet. Here we are.

The White House lawn, sorry, the People’s Patch of Grass, has once again been transformed into a white‑trash UFC arena. Where sweaty men roll around in a cage like they’re auditioning for Magic Mike: Government Shutdown Edition.

The cage sits in the middle of the grass like someone ordered “UFC but make it emotionally repressed” off Wish. Tourists gather. Security pretends this is normal. And a lineup of men who look like they pre‑gamed with creatine, Axe body spray, and a quick scroll through Grindr. They begin stretching like they’re preparing for the world’s sweatiest Pride after‑party. Because nothing says “governing” like two shirtless dudes rolling around in a cage while America collectively whispers, “Is this foreign policy or foreplay?”

Piper: “Mother, why are the humans fighting in a metal box? Is this a mating ritual? Should we be concerned?”

Coco: “I’ve seen less homoerotic tension in a gay sauna on half‑price margarita night.”

Tinkerbell: “I’m only here for the snacks. Also, someone needs to drain that pool before it becomes sentient.”

And then, because absurdity must always escalate, the Trump Administration announces a fake assassination attempt involving Iranian drones that no one saw. No one heard. No one reported. And no one can explain. Because apparently even the drones were like, “Nah, we’re good.”

Suddenly, a man in a suit sprints across the lawn screaming, “THERE WAS AN ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT!” Everyone freezes. The fighters stop mid‑grapple. The tourists gasp. My cats blink.

Piper: “Mother, what?”

Coco: “By who? The drama club?”

Tinkerbell: “I bet it’s fake.”

And then the details emerge. The threat was Iranian drones. The drones were invisible. The attack was unconfirmed. The evidence was classified. The witnesses were busy. And the drones were never actually here. So basically, it was a crisis that didn’t happen. It was  reported by people who weren’t there. And it was involving drones that don’t exist.

Piper: “Mother, is this enrichment?” 

Coco: “This is why aliens won’t visit us.”

Tinkerbell: “I’ve had hairballs more credible than this.”

Meanwhile, the Reflecting Pool…

Once majestic. Now the color of a Shrek smoothie. Flaking blue paint drifting like sad confetti. A smell that says, “Someone dumped a bucket of hot dog water in here.”

Piper: “Is that algae?”

Coco: “Is that paint peeling?”

Tinkerbell: “Is that the symbolic decay of national integrity?”

Me: “Yes, girls. Yes it is.”

And the Trump Administration never misses a chance to monetize national embarrassment. They announce the newest grift called:

THE PATRIOT PACK™ -$250

  • One (1) clump of algae harvested by an unpaid intern.
  • One (1) authentic blue paint chip scraped by a man named Randy who definitely vapes.
  • One (1) certificate of authenticity printed on a Chili’s receipt.

All in honor of the 250th Celebration of America, which would make the Founding Fathers want to walk into the ocean. Fake their own deaths. Or rise from the grave just to say, “We didn’t write the Constitution for this.” My ancestors join in from the spirit realm, “We crossed oceans for this?” “We survived smallpox for this?” “We lived through powdered wigs for this?” Great‑Aunt Myrtle adds, “At least the men are pretty.”

Enter: Robert F. Kennedy, Jr.

Just when the chaos reaches peak humidity, a new figure emerges wearing flip‑flops, necklace of raccoon teeth, and the confidence of someone who once drank kombucha brewed in a boot. He steps up to a podium made of reclaimed pallets and emotional instability. He clears his throat. And announces, “THE REFLECTING POOL IS A MIRACLE.”

My cats freeze. My ancestors clutch their ghostly pearls. Tourists stop mid‑selfie. He continues, “This nutritious, peroxide‑infused, snake‑venom‑enhanced, algae is the future of American health.”

Piper: “Mother… is he okay?” 

Coco: “Absolutely not.”

Tinkerbell: “I don’t want whatever he’s on.”

He waves a mason jar of glowing green sludge like it’s holy water from the Church of Whole Foods. He declares that one 8‑oz glass of Reflecting Pool Algae™ can cure Ebola, depression, substance abuse, homelessness, addiction, dementia, low sperm count, cancer, mental illness, autism, low birth rates, AIDS, seasonal allergies, Hanta virus, screwworm, Covid 1-19, bad vibes, accidental or intentional snake bites, rabies from raccoons, and “the spiritual constipation of the American soul.”

Piper: “Mother, that’s not how biology works.”

Coco: “That’s not how anything works.”

Tinkerbell: “I’m still not willing to try it.”

And of course it gets worse. He also announces the algae’s potency is enhanced by “a micro‑dose of raccoon penile essence. Which was harvested ethically from raccoons who died of natural causes such as bar fights or eating fireworks.” My ancestors scream in Latin. Piper faints. Coco gags. Tinkerbell whispers, “I knew raccoons were up to something.”

Some people cheer. Some people vomit. One man tries to buy a gallon jug. Another asks if it comes in sugar‑free. A woman from Ohio asks if it’s keto. He assures them, “It’s paleo, keto, vegan, carnivore, gluten‑free, dairy‑free, guilt‑free, and spiritually orgasmic.”

The Trump Administration immediately embraces the miracle. They announce a national algae initiative. A Reflecting Pool bottling plant. A Raccoon Essence Research Grant. A Buy One, Get One Half‑Off Patriot Pack™ And a new slogan, “Drink Up, America.” My ancestors begin drafting a petition to be reincarnated as Canadians.

And the leader of our horrifically spiraling country, President Donald Trump, is the man that governs like a Roomba with a dying battery. In the middle of the chaos, the cage match, the algae sales pitch, the invisible drones, the raccoon‑essence wellness seminar, he decided it was the perfect moment to take one of his signature American taxpayer funded, mini-stroke, dementia public naps, which his staff insists on calling “extended blinking” or “patriotic micro‑rest cycles.” Cameras zoomed in as his eyelids began performing what can only be described as a slow‑motion garage door malfunction. They were fluttering like a moth trapped in a lampshade. Tourists whispered, “Is he meditating?” While my cats debated whether he was buffering. Rebooting. Or experiencing yet another mini‑stroke‑adjacent moment that his administration would later blame on “wind fatigue.” Piper tilted her head. Coco rolled her eyes. Tinkerbell muttered, “Mother, the man is power‑napping through the downfall of civilization.” And honestly? She wasn’t wrong.

At the end of the day, America doesn’t need algae smoothies, raccoon penis extract, invisible drone attacks, cage fights on federal property, or $250 commemorative mold. We need accountability. We need sanity. We need leadership that doesn’t involve drinking pond scum like it’s a wellness shot from Satan’s juice bar.

And no matter how many shiny, chaotic, homoerotic lawn events the Trump Administration throws at us, the American people have not forgotten about the Epstein files. Nice try, Donald! Charcoal extinguished. Cats disgusted. Ancestors filing complaints. Nation still watching. Thanks for watching! What do you think of the embarrassing events that was supposed to celebrate our country?

Affirmation: I am grounded. I am powerful. And I refuse to be gaslit by algae, drones, raccoon essence, or commemorative mold.

***Don’t forget to watch the video!***

#ThisPuzzledLife

Things I Trust More Than This Administration: Queer, Southern, and Unbothered

“I’m not saying my life is chaotic. But even my sage asked for PTO.”

-This Puzzled Life

Light the charcoal. This is the moment that coal hisses. The ancestors lean in like, “Oh Lord… Dana ’bout to talk her talk again.” And the cats scatter like federal agents just pulled up in the driveway. And they should. This intro is hotter than Mississippi asphalt in July. And twice as disrespectful. Bless the yard. And hide your rainbow koozies. Because I’m about to say something that’ll make a Southern conservative clutch their pearls so hard they turn into diamonds. The smoke ain’t even settled yet and already my spirit guides are whispering, “Don’t hold back, sugar. Drag them like folding chairs at a riverfront brawl.”

The cats have formed a prayer circle. The neighbors are peeking through the blinds like they’re watching a tornado touchdown. And I’m standing in the yard with a rainbow apron and a spatula like, “Welcome to Pride, y’all. Let’s talk about trust. It sure ain’t coming from the administration.”

This ain’t just an intro. This is a front-porch sermon. A queer revival. And a Southern auntie prophecy delivered with the accuracy of a gossiping church lady who knows everybody’s business. It’s the version where Mississippi aunties, closeted deacons, rainbow‑flag‑waving cousins, and your one libertarian uncle who only shows up for barbecue all gather on the porch to say, “I don’t know what they’re doing up there in Washington, but it ain’t right.” And honestly? They’re not wrong.

Let’s talk about the things I trust more than this administration. Which is said through the lens of Southern conservative energy, queer resilience, and the chaotic truth of living below the Mason‑Dixon line.

1. A Southern conservative who says, “Now I’m not homophobic, BUT—”

At least I know what’s coming. Predictability is a love language.

2. The church fan with MLK on one side and a funeral home ad on the other.

That fan has been holding the community together longer than any policy.

3. The rainbow flag I hung outside that mysteriously disappears every June and reappears in the church lost‑and‑found.

Even the thieves have a conscience.

4. The deacon who whispers “I’m praying for you” but also slips me $20 for gas.

That’s bipartisan support.

5. The Southern mama who says she “doesn’t agree with the lifestyle” but will fight a senator with her bare hands if they try to take away her gay child’s healthcare.

That’s the kind of political complexity Washington could never handle.

6. The Pride parade in a conservative town where half the crowd is cheering and the other half is pretending they just happened to be walking by.

And yet it still runs smoother than federal operations.

7. The cat who judges my outfits but still shows up to Pride wearing a tiny American flag bandana like she’s running for office.

Piper 2028: “Claws Out for Civil Rights.”

8. The Southern conservative who says, “I don’t trust the government, but I trust Jesus and my tractor.” Honestly? Same.

9. The rainbow glitter that refuses to leave my floor.

It has more staying power than any administration I’ve lived through.

10. The HOA president who hates everything but still approves my Pride decorations because she’s scared of my grandma. That’s real governance.

Living queer in the Deep South means navigating a political landscape where people will vote against your rights at 9 a.m. Bring you a casserole at 11 a.m. And ask you to fix their Wi-Fi at 2 p.m. It’s a region where people say, “love the sinner, hate the sin,” but also “come get a plate, baby, I made extra.” Where the same person who says, “marriage is between a man and a woman” will also say “but y’all looked real cute in your engagement photos.” And somehow all of this still feels more stable, more honest, and more navigable than whatever the administration is doing on any given Tuesday.

May your charcoal burn steady. May your sage smoke be thick. May your boundaries be fortified like a Mississippi grandma’s chicken and dumpling recipe. May your Pride be loud and your joy be protected. And may you always trust the things that have never failed you like queer resilience, Southern contradictions, ancestral side‑eye, and the unstoppable force of a community that survives on humor, grit, and the ability to say, “bless their heart.”

And that’s why, at the end of the day, I trust my cats’ union bylaws, a drag queen’s wig glue, a conservative uncle’s “I ain’t sayin’ I agree, but I love you,” and the glitter that’s been stuck in my carpet since Obama’s first term. And it’s all more than I trust this administration. So, Let the rainbow flags wave high. Let the Southern conservatives keep pretending they “don’t get it” while secretly watching RuPaul’s Drag Race in 480p so the Lord can’t see.

Pride ain’t waiting on permission. Pride ain’t asking for approval. Pride is the mic drop. The finale. The fireworks. The testimony. And the whole damn altar call. And if the administration wants to catch up? They better lace up their boots, ’cause the queer South already left the porch. Thanks for reading! Happy Pride and keep resisting bigotry.

Affirmation: I move through this world like a Southern thunderstorm in June. It’s loud, dramatic, cleansing, and absolutely nobody’s business but God’s and the cats who witnessed it.

***Don’t forget to watch the video!***

#ThisPuzzledLife

Dear Allies: The Gays Salute You With Both Hands And A Fan Snap

“I’m not saying I’m dramatic. But if God wanted me to stay calm, he wouldn’t have given me this much personality and this many conservative relatives.”

-This Puzzled Life

Light the charcoal. Today we’re gathering around the communal table to honor a sacred, undercelebrated, and deeply cherished group of humans. Our allies. The real ones. Not the “I posted a rainbow square once in 2020” crowd. Not the “I love you but don’t tell my pastor” crowd. Not the “thoughts and prayers for your eternal soul” crowd who clutch their prayer list so hard they leave dents.

I’m talking about the folks who show up when nobody’s watching. The ones who defend us without needing applause, cameras, or a political campaign ad with soft piano music and a bald eagle crying in the background. The ones who embody actual Christianity. The kind Jesus practiced before it got franchised. Monetized. And turned into a small‑town HOA with a pulpit.

Piper has already hopped on the counter and declared, “Finally. A blog about the humans who actually act right.” Tinkerbell is nodding solemnly like a tiny furry deacon. Coco is passing out imaginary communion wafers made of Temptations treats.

And me? I’m over here emotional because these allies, the everyday saints, remind us that our souls aren’t one color. Our souls are a rainbow quilt that is stitched together with joy, grief, glitter, and generational resilience. Humanity was always meant to be fabulous. Some folks just missed the memo while they were too busy policing everyone else’s salvation.

To our allies who stand up for us in grocery store aisles, family dinners, church parking lots, and in group chats where the bigots get bold. And we see you. You don’t do it for credit. You don’t do it for clout. You don’t do it because it’s trendy. You do it because your moral compass isn’t powered by fear, shame, or whatever Fox News is microwaving that day. You do it because you know love is supposed to be lived. Not legislated.

You do it because you understand that Jesus wasn’t white, wealthy, or sponsored by the pulpit politics committee. You do it because you know that if Jesus showed up today, half these conservative Christians would call the cops on him for wearing sandals and hanging out with marginalized people. You do it because you know the difference between performative faith and actual compassion. And the difference is louder than a praise band with a broken sound system.

Meanwhile, some conservative Christians are out here condemning queer folks by day and conducting their secret lives in the dark night of shadows like they’re auditioning for a low‑budget soap opera. Piper said, “Mama, the hypocrisy is giving mildew.” Tinkerbell added, “It’s giving spiritual swamp water.” And  Coco simply hissed and walked away. Honestly, they’re honesty felt like Scripture.

Tinkerbell (the eldest emotionally, the judge, the one who has seen things): “First of all, thank you to the allies who defend my mama like she’s the last biscuit at a Baptist potluck. Y’all are the reason she walks around this house with her shoulders back and her spirit moisturized. I watch everything from the top of the fridge. And trust me. The world needs more of you and fewer people who weaponize Scripture like it’s a coupon they clipped wrong.”

Piper (chaotic, believes she is a pastor): “I would like to personally thank the allies who understand that Jesus hung out with the marginalized. And not the HOA board of conservative Christianity. If Jesus came back today, half these folks would call the police because he looks ‘suspicious.’ And the other half would ask him to sign their Bible like it’s a meet‑and‑greet. But you allies would offer him a seat, a snack, and a safe place to rest. That’s ministry.”

Coco (the one who knocks things over for emphasis): “Thank you for clapping back at bigots with the precision of a cat swatting a glass off a counter. Thank you for knowing that love is louder than hypocrisy. And that closets are for coats, not people. Also, I knocked over that decorative cross because the energy felt off. You’re welcome.”

Piper (interrupting): “And let’s be clear. The allies who show up quietly and don’t need applause, y’all are the real disciples. Meanwhile, some folks out here preaching purity while living double lives that smell like unwashed secrets and expired communion juice.”

Tinkerbell (fanning herself with an imaginary church program): “It’s always the loudest ones who have the most to hide. But our allies? They’re out here living the gospel without needing to weaponize it. They’re out here loving people like Jesus actually instructed. They’re out here doing the work while others are doing theatrics.”

Coco (dramatically rolling onto her back): “Thank you for loving my mama in ways that make her laugh. Breathe easier. And feel safe. Thank you for being the humans she trusts. Thank you for being the reason she doesn’t hiss at the world like I do.”

And before this blog sashays off the stage in a cloud of glitter and righteous truth. My cats insisted, loudly, dramatically, and with the authority of three tiny elders, that they get the final word.

Piper (tail flicking like a church lady’s fan): “Thank you, allies. Without you, Mama wouldn’t have had the courage to build the life she has now. And without that life, we wouldn’t have our brothers. The chaotic, beloved, biscuit‑stealing boys who complete this household circus.”

Tinkerbell (paws folded like she’s about to deliver a sermon): “Y’all didn’t just stand up for Mama. You stood beside her. And because of that, this rainbow‑stitched, Southern‑chaotic, cat‑ruled family, exists exactly as it should. Our brothers are here because you helped create a world where love could breathe.”

Coco (rolling dramatically onto her back again for emphasis): “Thank you for giving Mama the safety and strength to choose love boldly. And because of you, we have brothers to wrestle, cuddle, judge, and occasionally blame for things we definitely did.”

To every ally who shows up without needing a spotlight, thank you. Thank you for representing the Jesus who loved without conditions, fear, or a PR team. Thank you for knowing that our souls shimmer in every color ever created. Thank you for standing in the gap when the world gets loud, cruel, or hypocritical.

And to the conservative Christians who are more performative than biblical? Your secret life is showing. And it’s not giving Beatitudes. Our allies are out here living the gospel without needing to weaponize it. They’re out here loving us in ways that heal generational wounds. And they’re out here proving that humanity, at its best, is a rainbow. 

All three, in a furry chorus of gratitude, “Thank you for helping build the home we nap in. The love we live in. And the family we purr in.” And with that, the cats have spoken. The rainbow has shimmered. The truth has been told. The gays salute you with both hands. A fan snap. And three very grateful cats. Piper has closed her laptop. Tinkerbell has said “Amen.” Coco has knocked over another decorative cross for emphasis.

And me? I’m ending this with a fan snap. A grateful heart. And a truth that cannot be dimmed. Real allies don’t just stand with us. They help us rise. Spirit moisturized. Rainbow restored. Thanks for reading! And Happy Pride Everyone Especially Our Allies! 

Affirmation: Today, I walk in my truth, glitter, and my God‑given audacity. I am loved. Protected. And too fabulous to be bothered by anyone who still thinks ‘rainbow’ is a political statement.

***Don’t forget to watch the video!***

#ThisPuzzledLife

Memorial Day Mourning: When Patriotism Meets Disrespect

“A nation that forgets its fallen has already surrendered its soul.”

-This Puzzled Life

Light the charcoal. Today, ancestors, I need you close. I need every grandmother who prayed over folded flags. Every great‑uncle who never made it home. Every lineage‑bearer who stood against tyranny with nothing but grit, fear, and a trembling hope that their sacrifice would mean something. I need them all gathered around this fire with me. Because my heart is breaking in a way I can feel in my teeth.

Memorial Day is supposed to be sacred. A day of reverence. A day where the air itself feels heavy with memory. A day where we whisper “thank you” to the ones who went in our place. I don’t care how they voted. What bumper sticker they had. Or what political arguments they hollered at the TV. They went. They stood in the line of fire so I didn’t have to. They carried the weight of a nation on their backs. And some never came home to tell the story.

And now. We are living in an era where their sacrifices are being mocked. Minimized. And twisted into political theater. Where illegal war chew up American lives for reasons that don’t hold water. Where the Commander‑in‑Chief has openly called fallen soldiers “losers” and “suckers,” according to multiple reports from former officials. And I swear, ancestors, I can feel you shifting in your graves like, “We did NOT fight fascism for this.”

Let me be clear. This isn’t about politics. This is about decency, honor, and basic human respect. And they are the qualities that should never be partisan. And yet here we are. Watching behavior that would’ve gotten any of our mamas slapped with a sandal for raising someone so disrespectful. Here are examples that are widely reported. Documented. And discussed. They are of how Donald Trump has disrespected veterans and fallen soldiers.

  • Calling fallen soldiers “losers” and “suckers”– reported by multiple sources which including former senior officials. My ancestors just collectively rolled their eyes so hard the earth tilted.
  • Skipping a WWI cemetery visit in France because “it was raining.” Sir, they fought in trenches full of mud, blood, and rats the size of emotional support animals. You can handle a drizzle.
  • Attacking Gold Star families-families who lost loved ones in service. The audacity. The disrespect. The spiritual malpractice.
  • Mocking Senator John McCain’s capture-“I like people who weren’t captured.” My ancestors are now pacing the room with hands on hips.
  • Using the military as political props-something every veteran I know despises. Because service is not a campaign backdrop.
  • Delaying military aid for political leverage-which put actual soldiers at risk. The ancestors have now lit their own charcoal.

And the emotional stability? Lord. It’s giving “someone sprinting down the interstate with their bra and underwear on the outside of their clothes.” It’s giving me chaos. It’s giving “not a single ancestor signed off on this behavior.” And the compassion? About as present as a cactus at a cuddle party.

This is not how you honor the fallen. This is not how you respect the living. This is not how you lead a nation that has buried far too many of its children. My ancestors fought authoritarianism with their bare hands. Their last breaths. Their prayers whispered into the dirt. And now authoritarianism is parading through our streets wearing a red hat and a tantrum. While insisting it’s the second coming of patriotism. It’s not patriotism. It’s performance. And it’s breaking my heart.

And so, on this Memorial Day. I stand here with the charcoal lit. And the ancestors gathered like a celestial neighborhood watch, I have to say it plainly. America cannot honor its fallen while allowing a man who dodged the draft five times to strut around pretending to be the patron saint of patriotism. America cannot claim to respect sacrifice while elevating someone who avoided service with the infamous “bone spurs” excuse. A condition that miraculously healed the moment the danger passed and the privilege resumed. America cannot pretend to value courage while applauding someone whose greatest battle was apparently against accountability.

Because let’s be honest. The disrespect being hurled at our veterans and fallen soldiers isn’t coming from a place of strength. It’s coming from a place of entitlement so bloated it could have its own gravitational pull. It’s coming from a man who has never had to work for anything. Who has never known the terror of a battlefield. Who has never stood in the boots of the people he mocks.

And the behavior? Hold my sweet tea. We are watching a grown man. A man who holds the highest office in the land. Who is behaving with the emotional steadiness of someone who discovered social media for the first time and decided to treat it like a 3 a.m. confessional booth. Extended blinking sessions like he’s buffering. Late‑night ranting on whatever platform will still have him like Temu Twitter. And typing like a raccoon who found a phone in a staff member’s purse at a memory care facility. And is now live‑blogging its escape attempt.

And the consistency? The only thing consistent is the stench both literal and the metaphorical odor of disrespect, chaos, and ego that follows him like a cloud of Axe body spray applied by a teenager who doesn’t understand dosage.

Meanwhile, our fallen soldiers. The ones who actually knew sacrifice. Who actually faced danger. Who actually gave everything. Are being used as props in a performance that dishonors everything they stood for. My ancestors fought tyrants who believed they were above the people. Above the truth. And now, authoritarianism is parading through our streets loud. Petty. Self‑obsessed. And wrapped in a flag it does not deserve to touch.

So, hear me clearly. I honor our fallen. I honor our veterans. I honor every soul who went in my place so I could live free. But I will not and cannot stay silent while their memory is dragged through the mud by someone who never carried anything heavier than his own ego. This Memorial Day, I stand with the ancestors, the fallen, and the truth. And to the one disrespecting them? Your performance is over. Your act is tired. And the nation you claim to love deserves better. Thanks for reading! God bless those who lost their lives and took a stand against fascism and tyranny. What are your thoughts?

Affirmation: I honor the brave. I speak the truth. And I stand with the ancestors who fought for freedom before me.

***Don’t forget to watch the video!***

#ThisPuzzledLife

The Boob Boy, The Bondi, and the Big Ol’ Bus They Got Thrown Under

“When you build your house on hypocrisy, don’t be shocked when the storm hits first.” 

-Southern Gay Wisdom

Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Brace your spirit. Today’s sermon is brought to you by the Holy Ghost of “I Told Y’all.” The Book of Southern Gay Prophets. And the ancestral spirits who only show up when the drama is premium‑grade. The air is thick. The wind is petty. And the hypocrisy is rising like steam off a Mississippi driveway in July. Kristi Noem and Pam Bondi are out here doing the MAGA Walk of Shame. And the universe itself said, “Roll camera.”

Kristi “I Love Traditional Marriage Unless It’s Mine and Puppy Killer” Noem is over here smiling like she’s hosting a Mar‑a‑Lago bake sale. While her entire political career collapses like a Dollar Tree folding chair. Pam “I Have the Files-Wait, No I Don’t-What Files?” Bondi is shuffling papers like she’s auditioning for a Florida reboot of Law & Order: Girl, Please. And the hypocrisy? So thick you could spread it on a biscuit.

These two strutted into the week like they were the headliners of the Family Values Revival Tour. And strutted out like they’d been personally escorted offstage by the Holy Spirit and a security guard named Earl. The way they both got tossed under the Trump Bus with no seatbelt, no warning, no emotional support casserole, and not even a lukewarm dish from the church ladies is nothing but whew.

The ancestors aren’t just giggling. They’re hollering. They’re wheezing. They’re slapping their knees and saying, “See? Didn’t we tell y’all?” And now the smoke rising today? It’s not from the grill. It’s from the fall of two of America’s most dramatic ‘family values’ performers finally catching up to the truth they tried to outrun. Light the charcoal cause history is happening.

Let’s begin with Kristi “Traditional Marriage” Noem, who woke up this morning as the Director of Homeland Security. And then went to bed as the Director of “Girl, What Happened?” She strutted into that press conference like she was about to announce a new casserole recipe. Her bless your heart chin high. Hair sprayed into a helmet. Confidence radiating like she’d just won Miss Cornbread 2024. 

Kristi Noem is the same woman who smiled her Mar‑a‑Lago smile while cheering on the cruelty of ICE like it was a halftime show. And she really thought she was untouchable. She encouraged the worst of it. The raids, fear, brutality, and the “show them no mercy” energy that echoed the darkest chapters of history. She did it with a grin. With a camera‑ready face. And with the confidence of someone who believed she’d never be held accountable.

She wanted to take anything into custody that breathed wrong in Trump’s direction. Which included blow‑up animals, parade balloons, inflatable flamingos, and anything that dared to stand against the man she treated like a holy relic. She acted like Donald Trump wasn’t the con artist the entire country warned her about. She acted like loyalty to him was a retirement plan. But the check bounced.

And then Trump hit her with a “You’re fired!” Which had that same energy as a Dollar Tree cashier clocking out early. Because the register froze and they simply don’t get paid enough for this. But the real plot twist? Her husband, Mr. “Family Values” himself, is now living his best life as a cross‑dressing boob boy. And honestly? Good for him. Somebody in that marriage deserved joy, sequins, and breathable fabric.

Meanwhile, Pam “I Have the Files on My Desk” Bondi is out here giving us the greatest trilogy since Lord of the Rings like:

  1. “I have the files on my desk.”
  2. “I don’t have the files on my desk.”
  3. “What are the files?”

Ma’am. This is not a Nancy Drew novel. This is not a Hardy Boys mystery. This is a Florida woman with a ring light and a dream. Here’s the part that hits the deepest nerve. Pam Bondi who spent years doing the “I don’t have the files” shuffle, while survivors of Epstein’s abuse begged for acknowledgment she never gave. She never even acknowledged the Epstein survivors. Not when she was Florida Attorney General. Not when they begged for accountability. Not when they asked for meetings. Not when they asked for justice. 

Survivors and advocates have said for years that she ignored them. Dismissed them. And prioritized political loyalty over human suffering. And now she’s out here crying on camera about being “betrayed?” The only betrayal that mattered was the one she committed against the people who needed her most. Public criticism has followed her for years. Because she didn’t meet with them. She didn’t prioritize them. And she didn’t use her power to pursue accountability when she had the chance.

And so here we stand. We’re watching Kristi Noem and Pam Bondi wobbling down the political driveway tumbling down the marble steps of their own hypocrisy. Like two contestants eliminated in the first round of a reality show nobody asked for. Their mascara is running. With their heels in their hands whispering, “Donald, please don’t do this.” Donald Trump, patron saint of Save Myself First Ministries, simply adjusted his tie and said, “Ladies, I love you, but I love me more.” And he tossed them off the political porch like yesterday’s potato salad. The silence that followed could’ve been bottled and sold as a conservative Christian essential oil.

They’ve been politically guillotined by the very man they worshipped like their Orange Mussolini Messiah Daddy. The same man who told them he’d protect them. The same man who said he’d always be there. The same man who turned around and cut them loose the second it benefited him. Pam and Kristi, the country wasn’t lying to you. He was. So, put that in your Epstein pipe and smoke it.

And this is only the beginning. The fall of Trump and the collapse of MAGA isn’t a single moment. It’s a season. A reckoning. A slow‑motion implosion of every grifter, every sycophant, every “family values” fraud who thought proximity to power would save them. Two down. Many more to go.

And as the dust settles. As the excuses crumble. And the crocodile tears dry on the marble floors of Mar‑a‑Lago, let the record show That the South remembers. The gays remember. The survivors remember. And history remembers.

And now I’ll say this with my full chest, “Kristi, Pam, Bye Felicias! May the truth follow you louder than your lies ever did. May accountability find you faster than your loyalty found Trump. And may the fall of this corrupt movement be as dramatic as the chaos it unleashed.” Thanks for reading! What are your thoughts on these two useless human beings with no souls?

Affirmation: I release the chaos of hypocrites. The noise of liars. And the weight of other people’s fake values. I walk in truth, glitter, and ancestral clarity. 

***Don’t forget to watch the video!***

#ThisPuzzledLife

No Kings: We Rise Loud. We Rise Messy. We Rise Anyway.

“I don’t need a crown to know my worth. I’ve survived too much to bow now.”

-This Puzzled Life, Patron Saint of Showing Up Anyway

 Light the charcoal, because apparently the nation has decided we’re doing this again. Another No Kings Protest. Another day where half the country shows up with handmade signs. The other half shows up with folding chairs, and everyone collectively agrees that monarchy is for fairy tales, not for a country where we can’t even agree on how to pronounce “pecan.”

I woke up this morning to the sound of my neighbor yelling, “Who took my sharpie?!” Which is how you know democracy is alive and well in the Deep South. Nothing says civic engagement like a grown man in pajama pants sprinting across the yard holding a poster board that says, “No Crowns, Just Accountability.” Bless it. 

Every No Kings protest starts the same way. Someone burns the first batch of hot dogs. Someone else insists they “know a shortcut.” And a third person is already crying because they forgot sunscreen and emotional stability at home. Meanwhile, I’m in the kitchen trying to pack snacks like I’m preparing for a Category 5 hurricane instead of a march. Because if there’s one thing I know about Southern protests, it is that you will get hungry and sweaty. And someone will absolutely try to hand you a pamphlet you did not ask for.

We arrive at the protest. Immediately I’m hit with the smell of sunscreen and determination. And at least three people who definitely pregamed with boxed wine. There’s always one person with a megaphone who has no business having a megaphone. Today it’s a woman named Sheila who keeps yelling, “NO KINGS. NO CROWNS. NO NONSENSE.” Even though she’s wearing a Burger King paper crown she claims is “ironic.” Sure, Sheila. Sure.

Then there’s the guy who brought a drum. There is always a drum. And he always hits it off‑beat like he’s trying to summon democracy from the dead. But the signs. Oh, the signs. They’re the emotional core of the whole thing:

  • “NO KINGS. WE ALREADY HAVE ENOUGH FAMILY DRAMA.”
  • “DEMOCRACY: MESSY BUT MINE.”
  • “I’M JUST HERE BECAUSE MY THERAPIST SAID, ‘USE YOUR OUTSIDE VOICE.’”

I saw one that said, “NO KINGS. NO GODS. JUST VOTERS.” And I swear I felt my ancestors nod.

Somewhere between the chanting, sweating and the existential dread, it hits me. We’re not out here because it’s fun. We’re out here because we’re tired. Tired of being talked over. Tired of being dismissed. Tired of watching people in power act like the rest of us are NPCs in their personal video game.

We’re out here because we know what silence costs. We’re out here because someone has to be loud. We’re out here because our kids deserve better than whatever this political Jenga tower is.

At one point, a man tripped over a cooler and yelled, “This is why we can’t have a king. We can’t even have a cordless microphone.” A toddler held up a sign that said “NO” because that’s all they could write. And honestly it was the most accurate message of the day. When the wind blew everyone’s posters backward, we all looked like we were protesting ourselves. Which honestly felt spiritually correct. There is nothing quite as unintentionally hilarious as a conservative Christian explaining the world to you with the confidence of someone who has never once questioned their own Wi‑Fi password.

These are the same folks who will look you dead in the eye and say things like:

  • “We don’t believe in kings.” While simultaneously worshipping any man with a microphone and a Bible verse taped to his podium.
  • “We’re persecuted.” While standing in a Hobby Lobby the size of a small airport.
  • “We’re just defending traditional values.” Which apparently include casseroles, judgment, and pretending not to see their own family drama.

They say it all with the sincerity of a toddler handing you a drawing of a dinosaur that looks like a potato. They mean well. They just don’t land the plane.

My personal favorite is when they try to explain why they’re against something they’ve never actually experienced. “You know, I just don’t agree with that lifestyle.” Which lifestyle, Brenda? The one you saw on a Facebook meme posted by a woman named “Patriots4Jesus1776?” Or the one you’ve never actually talked to a real human about?

And then there’s the classic, “I’m not judging, I’m just saying.” If you have to announce you’re not judging, you’re already halfway to the potluck with a casserole dish full of judgment and shredded cheese.

But the funniest part that makes me laugh so hard I need to sit down is how they always think they’re delivering some profound truth. Like they’re dropping wisdom from Mount Sinai when really they’re just repeating something their cousin Earl said at Thanksgiving between bites of deviled eggs.

So, here’s the thing, y’all. We don’t need crowns. We don’t need thrones. And we sure don’t need anybody trying to cosplay as royalty in a country that can barely keep the Wi‑Fi stable during a thunderstorm. We’ve got our voices. We’ve got our people. We’ve got our stubborn, sweaty, snack‑powered determination. And if anybody’s still confused about where we stand? We stand right here loud. Unbothered. Unbowed. And reminding the nation that the only thing we kneel for is tying our shoes.

By the end of the day, my feet hurt. And my soul felt like it had been wrung out like a dish rag. But the charcoal was still warm. The people were still loud. And the message was still clear.  No kings. No crowns. No giving up.

We may be messy, sweaty, snack‑dependent chaos gremlins. But we show up. We show up for each other. We show up for the future. We show up because silence is a luxury we don’t have. And we’ll keep showing up with charcoal lit. Signs crooked. Hearts wide open until the message sticks.

We joke about protesting like it’s America’s new weekend sport. But the truth underneath isn’t funny at all. We’re living through corruption stacked sky‑high. Child‑abuse coverups that should’ve shattered entire systems. Foreign intelligence games happening in plain sight. ICE acting like a secret police force. Free speech under attack. Minority communities scapegoated on repeat. Billionaires treating democracy like a clearance sale. And someone out here fantasizing about the East Wing like it’s a tyrant starter kit.

And the loudest danger of all is White Nationalism. It’s cruelty dressed up as Christianity. Cheered on by conservative Christians who swear it’s holy because someone slapped Jesus’ name on it. We laugh to stay human. But we protest because the danger is real. Thanks for reading! There Are No Kings In America!

Affirmation: Today I stand loud, steady, and unshakeable. I honor my voice, my boundaries, and my fire. I refuse to shrink for anyone who benefits from my silence. I rise because I can, and I keep rising because I’m built for more than fear.

***Don’t forget to watch the video!***

#ThisPuzzledLife

Ridiculous Quotes Made By Donald Trump Final

“He was a great cheerleader for the country. But not great on the trade.”

-Donald Trump on Ronald Reagan

Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. Now let us continue…

1.        “I have a great relationship with the blacks. I’ve always had a great relationship with the blacks.”-Anderson Cooper 360, 7/23/15

Donald has made numerous racists remarks about anyone who isn’t white calling them “animals,” “stone cold killers,” “worst people,” and “The enemy from within.” I don’t know about you, but this sounds a lot like Hitler’s description of the Jews.

https://www.shortlist.com/news/most-ridiculous-trump-quotes-ever

2.        “Sorry losers and haters, but my I.Q. is one of the highest-and you all know it! Please don’t feel so stupid or insecure, it’s not your fault.”-Twitter, 5/9/13

Ummmm…Donald just because you were able to identify a giraffe, it doesn’t mean that you can draw a clock. He is of very low intelligence.

https://www.cbsnews.com/pictures/wild-donald-trump-quotes/23/

3.        “I won’t do anything to take care of them. I’ll supply funds and she’ll take care of the kids. It’s not like I’m going to be walking the kids down Central Park.”-Howard Stern Interview, 2005.

This quote looks like the common misogyny that his administration and supporters tend to go with. They basically don’t want women to have any rights. And that their place in the world is barefoot and pregnant.

https://www.shortlist.com/news/most-ridiculous-trump-quotes-ever

4.        “My fingers are long and beautiful, as , it has been well documented, are various other parts of my body.”-New York Post, 2011

Stormy Daniels wrote in her book Full Disclosure about Donald Trump’s penis.

She describes Trump’s penis as “smaller than average” but “not freakishly small.”

“He knows he has an unusual penis,” Daniels writes. “It has a huge mushroom head. Like a toadstool …

“I lay there, annoyed that I was getting &%$#@* by a guy with Yeti pubes and a &%$# like the mushroom character in Mario Kart …

“It may have been the least impressive sex I’d ever had, but clearly, he didn’t share that opinion.”

One thing I personally know about male misogyny is that if you feel the need to project that you have a large “member,” it’s very clear that the individual is describing their ego instead of their penis size. I was married to someone that did the same thing. And he had a very small penis. But I would end my life if I ever thought that I would have to roll around all night with the United States Orange Turd.

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2018/sep/18/stormy-daniels-tell-all-book-on-trump-salacious-detail-and-claims-of-cheating

 https://www.shortlist.com/news/most-ridiculous-trump-quotes-ever

5.        “We’re rounding ‘em up in very humane way, in a very nice way. And they’re going to be happy because they want to be legalized. And, by the way, I know it doesn’t sound nice. But not everything is nice.” 60 Minute, 2015

There is absolutely nothing humane about the way that ICE is rounding up illegal immigrants and American citizens. And the holding facilities have been described as “deplorable.”

https://www.shortlist.com/news/most-ridiculous-trump-quotes-ever

6.        The U.S. cannot allow EBOLA-infected people back. People that go to faraway places to help out are great-but must suffer the consequences.”-Twitter 2/19/14

During the 2014-2016 West African Ebola epidemic, a total of two people of African descent with confirmed cases of Ebola came into the US.

https://srhd.org/health-topics/diseases-conditions/ebola#:~:text=In%202014%2C%20four%20cases%20were,returning%20to%20the%20United%20States

 https://www.shortlist.com/news/most-ridiculous-trump-quotes-ever

7.        “Global warming is fine because we’ll have more oceanfront property.”

This ding-dong knows nothing about global warming. In fact, he doesn’t even believe that global warming exists.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2024/08/13/does-donald-trump-understand-how-ocean-works/

8.        And let us not forget tariffs that were placed on “Penguin Island.” 

The U.S. imposed tariffs on Heard and McDonalds Islands, which are a remote Australian territory near Antarctica inhabited by wildlife but no humans. The only inhabitants are penguins, seals, and seabirds. They have not been visited by a human in nearly 10 years.

https://www.newsweek.com/donald-trump-tariffs-australia-liberation-day-2054649

9.        “You know we’ve cut drug prices by 1,200, 1,300, 1,400, 1,500%. I don’t mean 50%. I mean 14-, 1,500%.”

I think anyone who has had basic math in school understands that one whole item is 100%. However, the idiot in the White House is willing to pay us to go pick up medications. And that has yet to come true. 

https://apnews.com/article/fact-check-trump-prescription-drug-prices-drop-b3e5bf8a98310de45e39d3911d112979#:~:text=That’s%20not%20possible,than%20the%20other%20way%20around.

10.   He also proposed a dividend of at least $2,000 per person for individuals below a certain income level, funded by tariff revenue. “We’re taking in so much money that we may very well make a dividend to the people of America.”

I guess maybe those are also lost in the mail and hanging out with our DOGE refund checks. We will receive those in the month of Neveruary.

https://www.cnn.com/2025/08/08/business/trump-trade-tariff-rebate-check#:~:text=%E2%80%9CWe’re%20taking%20in%20so,It%20could%20become%20quite%20dangerous.%E2%80%9D

11.   “The line of ‘Make America Great Again,’ the phrase, that was mine, I came up with it about a year ago, and I kept using it, and everybody’s using it, they are all loving it. I don’t know, I guess I should copyright it, maybe I have copyrighted it.”

-MyFox New York, March 2015

“Let’s Make America Great Again” was one of Ronald Reagan’s most well-known campaign slogans. However, the parallels of Hitler surrounding the “stab-in-the-back” myth, blaming Jews, communist, and liberals for Germany’s post-WW1 economic and political distress and promising to purge these “domestic enemies” to renew the nation. That sounds like a large helping of Donald Trump in today’s time.

https://www.shortlist.com/news/most-ridiculous-trump-quotes-ever

https://time.com/6971088/adolf-hitler-take-power-democracy/

I cannot make clearer the desperate times in which our country resides. The one thing I always said about being abused by a malignant narcissist is that what you saw wasn’t as bad as when the door closed and everyone disappeared. But then as time went on, he started slipping and his cruelty became overt rather than covert. Donald Trump skipped the covert part. And his cruelty is on center stage for the world to witness. And the more you allow an abuser to get away with more cruelty is by doing nothing about it. And when they begin losing their strong hold, their cruelty will inevitably  escalate. America, our time is now! It is time to take down the Trump regime and restore democracy. Thanks for reading!

Affirmation: A blatant lie, the most amazing lie ever. 

***Don’t forget to watch the video!***

#Thispuzzledlife

Remove. Impeach. Convict. Pt 3

“Now more than ever the people are responsible for the character of their Congress. If that body be ignorant, reckless, and corrupt, it is because the people tolerate ignorance, recklessness, and corruption.”

-James A. Garfield

Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. Today, I want to tell you about a group of people known as “The Guardians of the Pedophiles.” The ones I will speak about today are Donald Trump’s cabinet members and some of the influences in the MAGA movement. “Make America Great Again” was a powerful and very uneducated movement that is now an abject failure. Our government is literally being held together by duct tape and denial. Here are some of the people that has made it what it is.

1.        JD Vance: Vice President aka Smokey Eyed Sociopath/Failed Drag Queen and Eyeliner Earl, Vice President of the United States. The truth of the matter is that JD wears eye liner as a part of his daily full faced makeup routine. And when he presents himself to the public, he literally looks like a failed drag queen. He was an admitted atheist originally. But now is one of the “hell fire and brimstone” people in the White House. And there’s trouble brewing at home with his Hindu immigrant wife Usha Vance, after a questionable hug from Charlie Kirk’s widow on national television. And in his memoir, Hillbilly Elegy, about thrusting his penis into “an inside-out latex glove shoved between two couch cushions.” To which he replied, “I did not have sexual relations with that couch.”  It was a false claim by a user on X. However, this has stuck and it is reported and my belief that Erika Kirk might just be the newest couch. He is a staunch Trump ally, despite being a “Never Trump” critic in 2016. And lastly, his is a leading voice for the “America First” foreign policy. And criticizes “woke” American institutions as the “childless left”. And as someone who really pushes the homophobia aspect, him wearing makeup is pretty “woke” if you ask me. I think that he is even more diabolical than Donald Trump.

(https://pridesource.com/article/creep-of-the-week-july-30-2024)

(https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cn07dv4mrg2o)

2.        Mike Johnson: aka Moses Mike Grindr Johnson/MAGA Mike/Moses Johnson/Mike ‘Little Man’ Johnson. U.S. Speaker of the House who is a strong allegiance to Donald Trump’s “Make America Great Again” movement to challenge and attempt to prevent the certification of the 2020 election results. He is also very  forward on his opposition to the “wokeness” of the left. And there was a rumor that he has a habit of being on Grindr and being a “power bottom.” At the National Association of Christian Lawmakers (NACL) gala in 2023, he stated that God told him, “Now, step forward” and described his surprise at how God had chosen him to be the Moses figure leading the GOP  . And he and his daughter attended a purity ball, a controversial dance event, popular among conservative Christians in the 2000s, that involves fathers and daughter in formal attire. The daughters then sign a pledge to their fathers to abstain from dating and to remain sexually abstinent until marriage. And that is just plain creepy to sign your virginity over to your father. His “wokeness” contradicts his conservative Christian values.

https://www.yahoo.com/news/mike-johnson-compares-himself-moses-203635445.html

https://abcnews.go.com/amp/US/speaker-mike-johnson-daughter-profiled-attending-purity-ball/story?id=105785626

3.        Kash Patel: Kash “Ching Ching” Patel/Cash Pedal/Make-A-Wish Director/Keystone Kash/Cashing in Patel who is the director of the FBI, is part of the corruption regarding the Epstein Files and the “whitewashing” and redacting Donald Trump’s name within those files. Prior to  his current position he was a conspiracy theorist Youtuber who uses taxpayer money to go on extravagant golfing and hunting trips. And it is currently catching heat for also using taxpayer funds to take a private, governmental jet, to take his country singer girlfriend on a date and provide security for her. And currently, Congress has ordered him to release all of the remaining files via the new Epstein Files Transparency Act. He speaks of transparency, but his actions do not reflect that claim. He is in no way now or has ever been qualified to hold his current position as FBI director. One thing he will always have is that “deer in the headlight” look.

https://www.cbsnews.com/live-updates/kash-patel-hearing-house-judiciary-committee-charlie-kirk-epstein-files/

https://democrats-judiciary.house.gov/media-center/press-releases/under-director-kash-patel-fbi-is-covering-up-trump-s-relationship-with-epstein-sacking-experienced-counterterrorism-agents-and-endangering-public-safety

4.        Pam Bondi: Bootlicker Barbie/Pedophile Protector Pam She is the U.S. Attorney General who will have a lot to answer for when it comes to vindictive prosecution of Leticia James and James Comey who have been targeted by Donald Trump and his administration that make false criminal claims against them both simply because they didn’t “cow tow” to Trump and his demands. Their cases have recently been struck down by judges. She will face imprisonment and being disbarred if convicted about her illegal activities related to her position of power and ethics violations.

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/pam-bondi-cant-outrun-her-most-brutal-nicknames/ar-AA1QGUj2

 

 5. Kristi Noem: aka ICE Barbie/Homeland Barbie/Puppy Killer/Cosplay Kristi/Kowgirl Kristi/Cruella De Vil. Secretary of Homeland Security. Kristi Noem who looks like the “Tammy Faye Baker” of the U.S. government is most notably known for being the Governor of South Dakota and the leader of ICE. During her time as governor she was criticized for the luxury mansion renovations, significant taxpayer-funded travel, and for accepting payments for fundraising from political groups. Specifically, she has spent $60k in mansion upgrades, $640, 000 in state credit card expenses in travel, including trips for book tours and hunting. And has received $80,000 from American Resolve Policy Fund. And her income was supplemented by dark money groups such as Common Cause, ProPublica and American Oversight. In her book “No Going Back” she admits that she shot her 14-month-old dog for being “untrainable.” And just for comparison Michael Vick went to prison for doing exactly what he has done. She is over the controversial ICE operations that are illegally detaining and deporting many “legal” Americans due to skin color and spoke dialect. She also spreads propaganda about “Antifa being a criminal organization.” She has gone so far as getting on the roof of a building to get a better look at these so-called dangerous protestors, only to find about ten people peacefully protesting and one was dressed as a chicken. The propaganda about the false dangers regarding the opposition to Donald Trump has led to the outright cruelty and defiance of judges and court orders. And she recently stated in a Cabinet meeting directly to Donald Trump saying, “Sir, you made it through hurricane season without a hurricane. Even you kept the hurricanes away. We appreciate that.” That statement was in reference to Trump saying that “he should try stopping hurricanes with nuclear missiles.” If looking for her in the wild, she will closely resemble Jigsaw in the Saw movie series.

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/the-most-brutal-nicknames-kristi-noem-has-ever-been-called-they-lowkey-check-out/ar-AA1Fx2f9

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025/jul/01/kristi-noem-payment-south-dakota-governor

https://people.com/kristi-noem-tells-donald-trump-he-kept-hurricanes-away-11860541

In this episode of “Get To Know Your Government”, I have highlighted some key figures in powerful positions that are responsible for the state of our nation. The corruption runs deep. But like most corruption, this too will fall. And people will be held accountable for their individual participation. These people are unbelievably horrible for what they have done and continue to do to the American people. Thanks for reading! Stay informed.

Affirmation: Transparency shines a light that makes corruption impossible.

***Don’t forget to watch the video!***

#Thispuzzledlife

Remove. Impeach. Convict. Pt 2

“No man who is corrupt, no man who condones corruption in others, can possibly do his duty by the community.”

-Theodore Roosevelt

Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. Ok, let’s dive back in to the smelly diaper of Donald Trump. Our most harmful and morally depraved president.

1.        He is “disappearing” our legal immigrants and/or deporting them. They are not the “violent and dangerous” ones that they claim they are deporting. They are racially profiled people due to skin color, dialect, and sir names. In reality, 65% of those booked into detention centers,133,687, had no criminal convictions. That is a rate of 9 out of every 10 that had no convictions. Ironic isn’t it that Melania, Donald’s wife, is also an immigrant. And was a menu item by way of Jeffrey Epstein. (https://www.cato.org/blog/65-people-taken-ice-had-no-convictions-93-no-violent-convictions#:~:text=As%20of%20June%2014%2C%20ICE%20had%20booked,were%20never%20convicted%20of%20any%20violent%20offenses.)

2.        He is conducting illegal strikes on fishing boats who are NOT carrying drugs as he claims which was not approved by congress. That is a required step by the Constitution prior to taking these types of actions (https://www.pbs.org/newshour/amp/politics/what-the-law-says-about-killing-survivors-of-a-boat-strike-according-to-experts).

3.        He has pardoned over 1600 criminals including 1500 violent January 6 rioters

(https://www.newsweek.com/full-list-of-donald-trump-pardons-for-2025-11151896)

Full List of Donald Trump Pardons for 2025  – Newsweek.

4.        Women’s Rights are being rolled back with overwhelming support of Evangelicals and White Nationalists to try and to take women back to the days of being “breeding machines” with no right to vote or to have a voice (https://www.hrw.org/news/2025/05/07/trump-spurs-global-rollback-rights-women-and-girls).

5.        The dismantling of global trade with countries in many different facets (Trump is dismantling globalization, one blow at a time – The Economic Times).

6.        Cutting Americans off Medicare/Medicaid and SNAP Benefits. The “Big Beautiful Bill” and I’m not talking about the one he blew, is guaranteeing that many children and families go hungry (How the ‘One Big, Beautiful Bill’ Targets Medicare and Medicaid | GovFacts).

7.        Defunding the Department of Education (https://www.ed.gov/about/news/press-release/statement-president-trumps-executive-order-return-power-over-education-states-and-local-communities).

8.        Allowing terrorists nations, like those responsible for the 9/11 attacks, to take up residence within our country, because he was given a personal gift or a deal for a new golf course (https://www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/rcna241774)

(https://www.cbsnews.com/news/hegseth-qatar-air-force-facility-us-base-idaho/#:~:text=%22The%20location%20will%20host%20a,we%20do%20with%20all%20partners.%22)

9.        The demeaning and name calling of female reporters by saying things like “Quiet Piggy,” for asking questions that he doesn’t want to answer. And you don’t have to look far to find out who the real McDonald’s eating “Orange Piggy” in the White House is that has been known to have a mushroom shaped penis. I can’t imagine having to be steam rolled by that nasty human 

(https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025/nov/18/trump-calls-reporter-piggy-bloomberg#:~:text=0:19,Quiet%2C%20piggy.%E2%80%9D)

(Mystery Donald Trump Mushroom Statue Sprouts Up in New York – Newsweek.)

10.   He has ridiculously claimed to have stopped eight wars (Trump claims he’s ended eight wars, including Gaza. His numbers are off | AP News).

11. And, yes, Donald just got the participation medal for creating peace when he really didn’t. He was so proud of himself. And the added bonus about the medal is that if you peel the aluminum back there is chocolate underneath. So there Donald, enjoy your McDonald’s Happy Meal Peace Prize.

Our country is in the throes of “Sundowner’s Hour” with our dementia ridden president. He is literally the embodiment of an escaped patient from the memory ward of a nursing home. And basically, the situation has gotten to where he’s being allowed to decorate with a cheap Hobby Lobby look in a place that had so much beautiful history of our country. He is also clearly deteriorating and just straight up rotting in real time. And even his full face of makeup and the makeup on his hand from infusions of Leqembi which are not from frequent handshaking, can’t hide the fact that he is a deeply unstable man. He is in one of the most powerful positions in the world, where he is selling out the America freedoms and democracy, as a whole, to billionaires and a Russian dictator. But the fissures within the MAGA movement are happening, and it’s all starting to crumble. The question is “how much total damage will be done by the time he is officially out of power?” That remains to be seen. I will be talking about his cabinet and important figures within this movement to destabilize democracy in the next few blogs. Stay informed and fight to take down this regime. Thanks for reading!

Affirmation: A blatant lie, the most amazing lie ever.

***Don’t forget to watch the video!***

#Thispuzzledlife