This Puzzled Life is a mental health and recovery blog exploring addiction, trauma healing, LGBTQ experiences, humor, and the strange moments that shape us.
Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. Today, I want to tell you about a strain called Platinum Kush Breath.
Platinum Kush Breath is a 70/30 indica-dominant hybrid strain. It is a cross between OG Kush x Afghani. OG Kush is a cross between Chemdawg x Lemon Thai x Hindu Kush. Afghani is a pure indica landrace strain found in the Hindu Kush mountains of Afghanistan. I wasn’t able to determine a definitive flavor. But it’s reported flavors of berry, fruity, peppery, spicy, and sweet.
Dominant terpenes are Caryophyllene, Limonene and Linalool. Patients report relief from depression, headaches, migraines, chronic pain, inflammation, cramps, or muscle spasms. Even though this strain’s potency doesn’t hit hard to begin with, it acts very much like a creeper strain. The indica effects were slow but powerful once they settled in. I would say that this strain needs to be used in moderation. Because if your not careful “couch lock” might be upon you. Thanks for reading! Keep blazin.’
Affirmation: I am worthy of health and happiness, and I choose to relax my mind and body.
“Cats at Mardi Gras don’t follow the parade. They become the parade, by collecting beads, chaos, and admirers with every classy decision.”
-Unknown
Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. I should probably sage my area twice after the way my cats acted at Mardi Gras. So, that means we are unleashing the FULL‑POWER, CATEGORY 5, LOUISIANA‑CERTIFIED, CAT‑LED MARDI GRAS CHAOS. Buckle up. The beads are flying.
Piper woke up at 4:12 AM, standing on my chest like a possessed raccoon.
Piper: “Get up. We have a city to embarrass.”
She had already packed, in her bag, a chicken nugget she found under the couch, a Mardi Gras mask she stole from your closet, and a crumpled receipt she insists is “legal documentation.” Coco walked in wearing a robe like a Real Housewife of the Deep South. Tinkerbell entered last, dragging a rosary and a Ziploc of Goldfish crackers.
Coco: “I expect VIP treatment. And a float. And a man named Boudreaux.”
Tinkerbell: “I’m not saying I’m worried. I’m saying I’ve updated my will.”
Piper pressed every button in the car like she was trying to hack the Pentagon.
Piper: “WHAT DOES THIS DO? OH LOOK! THE CAR IS SCREAMING. WE’RE FAMOUS!”
Coco rolled down the window and let the wind hit her like she was filming a shampoo commercial.
Coco: “If anyone asks, I’m a celebrity. You’re my assistant.”
Tinkerbell buckled herself in and whispered,” Jesus take the wheel. Literally.” And the moment the door opened, Piper shot out like a bottle rocket dipped in espresso.Coco strutted behind her, tail high, sunglasses on, giving the city her best “you’re welcome.”
Piper: “THE AIR SMELLS LIKE SPICE AND POOR DECISIONS. I BELONG HERE.” Coco: “Someone bring me a hurricane. And a man with a boat.”
Tinkerbell approached a street musician and sat politely.
Tinkerbell: “Play something soothing, baby. My nerves are fried.”
Within minutes, the cats were ON a float. Not allowed. Not invited. Just… on it. Piper was leading chants like she was running for governor. And she also tried to flash her nonexistent cat boobs for beads, and now she’s beefing with the New Orleans Police Department.
Piper: “THROW ME BEADS OR I’LL STEAL YOUR SNACKS!”
It started innocently enough. Piper saw a woman flash her chest and receive 14 strands of beads and a standing ovation. Piper, never one to be outdone, climbed onto a balcony, puffed out her fur, and screamed:
Piper: “PREPARE YOUR BEADS, MORTALS. I’M ABOUT TO MAKE HISTORY.”
She then attempted to “flash” by dramatically lifting her front paws and turning in a circle like a confused rotisserie chicken. Unfortunately, a nearby cop did not find this performance amusing.
Officer (into walkie): “We’ve got a situation. It’s… a cat. Attempting nudity.”
Piper was issued a verbal warning and told to “keep it classy.” She was so salty about the whole thing that she spent the rest of the parade refusing to wave, refusing to smile, and refusing to acknowledge the crowd.
Piper (arms crossed, tail twitching): “I COULD’VE BEEN LEGENDARY. BUT NOOOO. APPARENTLY ‘FUR CLEAVAGE’ ISN’T A THING.”
She sat on the float like a disgraced pageant queen, wearing 3 pity beads and a look that could curdle milk. Coco tried to cheer her up by tossing beads and blowing kisses.
Coco: “Smile, darling. You’re still famous. Just… not in a legal way.”
Tinkerbell handed her a beignet and whispered
Tinkerbell: “Eat this and let it go. You’re not the first woman to get rejected by Bourbon Street.”
Coco was posing dramatically, letting the wind hit her like she was starring in a perfume ad called “Regret.”
Coco: “Take my picture. No, not that angle. I said my GOOD side.”
Tinkerbell was giving life advice to drunk tourists.
Tinkerbell: “Hydrate, sweetheart. And don’t date a man who says he ‘used to be a promoter.’”
At Café du Monde, Piper inhaled a beignet so fast she briefly left her physical body. And she was covered in powdered sugar.
Piper: “I HAVE SEEN THE DIVINE. IT TASTES LIKE FRIED HEAVEN.”
Coco refused hers because “powdered sugar is not couture.”Tinkerbell ate hers slowly, like a woman who has lived through 14 Mardi Gras and knows the consequences.
By the end of the night, the cats returned to the car wearing 112 strands of beads, a feathered mask, a tiny crown, a sticker that said “I danced with Big Tony”, and the faint aroma of bourbon and regret.
Piper: “I want to move here permanently.”
Coco: “I’m starting a jazz band called The Purrcussionists.”
Tinkerbell: “I stole a praline. Drive.”
And so, as the sun dipped behind the wrought iron balconies and the last bead hit the pavement with a dramatic plonk, the cats returned home from Mardi Gras bedazzled, beigneted, and emotionally unstable.
Piper, still fuming from her failed flashing attempt, refused to make eye contact with anyone and spent the ride home muttering, “I could’ve been iconic.” Coco, who had somehow acquired a saxophone and three phone numbers, declared herself “spiritually Cajun now.” And Tinkerbell, wise and weary, curled up in a pile of stolen doubloons and whispered, “Never trust a man in a feathered vest.”
I drove in silence, covered in powdered sugar and regret, wondering how you became the designated adult in a Mardi Gras saga starring three cats and one frog costume. May your beads be untangled, your beignets be warm, and your cats never again attempt public nudity for plastic jewelry. Thanks for reading! Keep smilin.’
Affirmation: I am a majestic Mardi Gras creature. I attract beads, snacks, and admiration effortlessly. My fur is flawless, my paws are powerful, and my ability to cause chaos is a spiritual gift.
“This is definitely an ‘I’ll let you take up the whole bed’ kind of love.”
-Unknown
Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. Before we dive into this Valentine’s Day conversation between Piper, Coco, and Tinkerbell, you need to prepare yourself spiritually, emotionally, and possibly legally. This is not a drill. This is a three‑cat romantic holiday special, and none of them have the emotional maturity for it.
Piper is experiencing her very first Valentine’s Day and is convinced the heart‑shaped decorations are either edible, haunted, or both. Coco has already declared herself “too evolved” for holiday nonsense but will absolutely participate if snacks are involved. And Tinkerbell? She’s been practicing dramatic poses since sunrise and is one tail‑flick away from demanding a wind machine.
Take a deep breath, center your soul, and maybe grab a helmet. Because nothing says “Valentine’s Day” quite like three cats trying to understand love, treats, and why humans keep squealing at them. Welcome to the chaos.
The situation starts in the hallway. A pink paper heart lies on the floor. Piper is sniffing it like it might be a trap. Coco is perched on a shelf, judging everything. Tinkerbell is dramatically sprawled across a blanket like she’s posing for a romance novel cover.
Tinkerbell: “Ah yes… Valentine’s Day. A day of love, devotion, and dramatic poses. You’re welcome, everyone.”
Coco: “You’re not even posing. You’re just lying there like a furry croissant.”
Tinkerbell: “A romantic furry croissant.”
Piper: “Um… what exactly is Valentine’s Day? Mom keeps saying it’s my first one. Should I be nervous?”
Coco: “Only if you hate affection. Or treats. Or being told you’re adorable every five minutes.”
Piper: “Oh. So, a normal day?”
Tinkerbell: “Exactly, little one. Except today the humans get extra sentimental. They say things like “my sweet baby” and “my heart is full” while we’re just trying to nap.”
Piper: “So why is it special for me?”
Coco: “Because it’s your first Valentine’s Day in this family. Your first one where you’re safe, loved, and part of the chaos.”
Tinkerbell: “And because you’ve officially been promoted from “new cat” to “beloved gremlin.”
Piper: “Beloved gremlin?”
Coco: “It’s a compliment. Trust me.”
Piper: “So, Valentine’s Day means I’m really part of the pride now?”
Tinkerbell: “You’ve been part of us since the moment you tried to steal my blanket. Bold move. I respected it.”
Coco: “And when you knocked over Mom’s drink. Twice. That sealed the deal.”
Piper: “I didn’t mean to.”
Coco: “Exactly. That’s what made it adorable.”
Piper: “So, what do we do to celebrate?”
Tinkerbell: “We nap dramatically. We accept treats. We allow forehead kisses. We tolerate photos. We act like we invented love.”
Coco: “And we remind you that you are home. For good.”
Piper: “I like Valentine’s Day.”
Tinkerbell: “Then welcome to your first one, sweetheart. You’re loved. Deeply. Even when you chew things you shouldn’t.”
Tinkerbell: “Now then. Who wants to help me dramatically lounge on the Valentine’s blanket for photos?”
Coco: “Hard pass. Last year she made me wear a bow tie. I’m still recovering emotionally.”
Piper: “What’s a bow tie? Is it dangerous? Does it bite?”
Coco: “Only your dignity.”
Tinkerbell: “Relax, children. This year, I’m going for a “natural beauty” aesthetic. No costumes. Just vibes.”
Piper: “Oh! I can do vibes!”
Immediately knocks over a decorative heart
Coco: “And there it is. The Valentine’s chaos has begun.”
Tinkerbell: “Honestly? Iconic. Destructive. Poetic. Piper, you’re officially ready for your first Valentine’s Day.”
Piper: “Does that mean I get more treats?”
Coco: “Kid, it’s Valentine’s Day. You could sneeze and Mom would give you a treat.”
Tinkerbell: “Watch this.”
Slow blinks dramatically at and me and all three cats simultaneously receive treats.
Piper: “So this is love?”
Coco: “This is manipulation. But yes, also love.”
Tinkerbell: “Welcome to the family, sweetheart. Now let’s go knock over something else. For romance.”
By the end of the day, the house looked like Cupid had broken in, gotten confused, and left in a hurry. Piper was proudly carrying around a crumpled paper heart like she’d won a major award. Coco had retreated to her high shelf to judge everyone from above, as is tradition. And Tinkerbell? She was sprawled across the Valentine’s blanket like a dramatic Victorian hero who had fainted from too much affection. Truly, the vibes were immaculate.
And as the treats settled, the chaos calmed, and the humans finally stopped squealing about “cute little faces,” the cats came to a single, universal conclusion. Valentine’s Day is weird. But also kind of amazing. After all, any holiday that rewards them for simply existing is a holiday worth celebrating. So, here’s to Piper’s first Valentine’s Day. A day full of love, snacks, dramatic posing, and just enough mischief to keep the universe balanced. Thanks for reading!
Affirmation: You are loved like a warm lap on a rainy day.
“Some people leave footprints. Alex left constellations.”
—This Puzzled Life
Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Grab your protest sign and a cup of coffee. Because if you live in the Deep South like I do, grief doesn’t just arrive. It sweats through your clothes and fogs up your glasses before breakfast.
Before I knew his name. Before I knew the details that would punch me right in the chest, Alex Pretti reached me. All the way down here where I’m surrounded by red as far as the eye can see. And when a story travels that far and hits that hard, you know it’s not just news. It’s a wake‑up call. It’s a “Lord, give me strength” moment.
I didn’t know Alex personally. But the kind of man he was? You could feel it. He was one of those people whose light didn’t ask permission. It just showed up, loud and warm and human. The kind of man who loved deeply, laughed easily, and carried a softness this world doesn’t always know what to do with. A man who deserved to grow old, to be safe, to be held by a country he believed in.
However, an ICE agent took his life. Another name added to a list no one should ever be on. And here I am, a radical left lesbian mom in Mississippi, suddenly out in the streets protesting because a man I never met had his life taken by a system that keeps insisting it’s “protecting” us while leaving families shattered in its reality.
Alex was the kind of man who felt everything at full volume. He cared deeply. He believed people deserved second chances. Even when he rarely gave himself one. He was the friend who showed up with snacks, unsolicited advice, and a chaotic plan that somehow always worked out. He was the man who apologized to furniture when he bumped into it. The man who hugged like he meant it. Said everything with his full chest. And had a softness, that humanity, is exactly what makes his loss so difficult. When I learned that Alex had been shot by an ICE agent, something inside me cracked. Not because it was surprising. Even though it was. But because it was familiar. Too familiar.
Another life taken. Another family grieving. Another official statement full of phrases like “self-defense” and “ongoing investigation.” Another community left holding the weight of a story that should never have happened.
Alex wasn’t a threat. He wasn’t a danger. He wasn’t a headline. He was a man. A son. A friend. A human being who deserved dignity, safety, and a future. And here’s the part that keeps making tears well up in my eyes. We never met. Our lives never crossed. But somehow his light still reached me. Where people like me are used to feeling outnumbered, unheard, and underestimated. Your story landed right in the middle of my heart like a truth I didn’t know I needed. Your life touched a stranger hundreds of miles away. Your death shook a community you never met. Your name pulled me into the streets to protest because what happened to you was wrong, and silence would’ve been its own kind of violence.
We had the only thing we ever needed in common. We were both Americans who still loved this country. All the colors of the rainbow. Who believed in equality for all. And who loves and respects our constitution. Not blindly, but bravely. Not the sanitized version. Not the version politicians slip out when they want applause.
We loved the real country. The one made of people, not power. The one made of communities, not cruelty. The one that’s worth fighting for because it’s ours, even when it breaks our hearts. You loved this place enough to believe in its promise. And I love it enough to protest the systems that stole you from it.
When I speak Alex’s name, I think of the way he lived. I think of his light and his laugh. The kind that made strangers smile. I think of his hope for our neighbors and country. The kind that refused to dim. I think of his softness. The kind that made people feel safe.
Alex taught me that love doesn’t have to be perfect to be real. He taught me that vulnerability is an act of courage. He taught me that showing up messy, flawed, and human is enough. You and me strangers on paper. Yet connected in purpose. Your life touched mine, and now your name lives in my throat every time I show up with a sign, a voice, and a righteous amount of Southern gay attitude.
I wish your story ended differently. I wish this country loved you back the way you loved it. Your light didn’t go out. It spread. It reached a queer mom in Mississippi who refuses to be quiet. It reached a community that refuses to forget. It reached people who are tired of watching the same system break the same bodies and call it “order.”
And if ICE, the state, or anyone else wants to know why I’m out here protesting, yelling, writing, and refusing to sit down, the answer is simple. Because Alex Pretti and Renee Good deserved to grow old.Because loving this country means fighting the parts of it that keep killing people.Because silence is not patriotism. Accountability is. And because The United States of America’s Constitution specifically states, “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that ALL men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.” BECAUSE IN THIS COUNTRY, THERE ARE NO KINGS!
And yes, I’ll still make jokes, because grief and humor are cousins in my family. But don’t get it twisted. The fire is real.
Your story changed me. Your name will not fade. And if this country ever gets better, it’ll be because of people like you. And the people who refuse to stop saying your name. Thanks for reading! And never stay quiet.
Affirmation: I honor the fallen by fighting like hell for the living. And by keeping my sense of humor, because the revolution needs snacks and sarcasm.
“Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.”
— Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. Because today, we’re stepping into a month that carries the weight of history, the fire of resilience, and the joy that refuses to be dimmed. This is Black History Month, and we’re honoring it with truth, emotion, and a little humor. I, for one, know that sometimes laughter is the only thing keeping any of us from flipping a table.
Black History Month is not just a commemorative event. It’s a living, breathing reminder of the brilliance, struggle, creativity, and endurance of Black Americans. It began as Negro History Week in 1926, founded by historian Carter G. Woodson and the Association for the Study of Negro Life and History. The week was intentionally placed in February to align with the birthdays of Frederick Douglass and Abraham Lincoln, two figures central to Black liberation.
Black history is a story of survival and excellence that deserves its own cinematic universe. It’s the spirituals sung in fields where hope was outlawed. It’s the Harlem Renaissance that has exploded with art, music, and literature that still shapes culture today. It’s the Civil Rights Movement marching with blistered feet and unbreakable courage. It’s Black scientists, inventors, activists, teachers, and everyday heroes shaping the world. And often while the world pretended not to notice.
Black History Month holds space for:
Grief for what was stolen.
Rage for what was endured.
Awe for what was created.
Joy that refuses to be dimmed.
Humor that has carried generations through the impossible.
Black humor is a survival skill. It’s the auntie who tells the truth with a side of shade. It’s the uncle who swears he marched with Dr. King even though he was born in 1972. It’s the family reunion where the food is seasoned, the stories are exaggerated, and the love is louder. Humor doesn’t erase the pain. It makes the journey bearable. The work isn’t done. Because the wounds aren’t healed. Because the systems aren’t equal. Because the stories still need telling. Because the future still needs building.
This is a reminder that the story is still being written in classrooms, in living rooms, in protests, in art, in laughter, in love. And if you listen closely, you can hear the ancestors whispering: “Keep going. And baby, don’t forget to moisturize.”
As we light the charcoal and sprinkle the sage, may we remember that it’s not just to clear the air. But to honor the ancestors who cleared paths with their bare hands. We breathe deeply for the generations who weren’t allowed to. We laugh loudly for the ones who needed joy but didn’t get enough of it. We celebrate fiercely for the dreams that were deferred but never destroyed.
“As a white person, I honor Black History Month by listening more than I speak, learning what I was never taught, and showing up with humility instead of ego. I affirm my commitment to unlearning harmful narratives, amplifying Black voices, and standing on the right side of history. I choose growth over comfort, accountability over silence, and action over performative allyship. I honor the legacy of Black brilliance by being someone who refuses to look away.” Thanks for reading! And keep on keeping on.
Affirmation:I honor Black History Month by choosing growth, listening with intention, and respect.
“Eating disorders are so incredibly complex. And they are not about the food.”
-This Puzzled Life
Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. Today, I want to talk about something that sits quietly in the corners of so many lives. And it’s also something we don’t talk about nearly enough because it’s wrapped in shame, silence, and misunderstanding. And the topic is eating disorders.
This isn’t just a national awareness week to me. It’s a reminder of how many people walk through the world carrying a pain that no one sees. A reminder that the strongest people you know might be fighting battles with food, with their bodies, with their own reflection. A reminder that healing is possible. But it’s not easy. And it’s never linear.
Eating Disorders are not about vanity. They’re about survival. People love to reduce eating disorders to “wanting to be skinny,” but that’s not the truth. Not even close. Eating disorders often grow out of trauma, anxiety, perfectionism, or the desperate need to feel in control when everything else feels chaotic. They’re coping mechanisms that become cages. They’re ways of surviving will eventually start to suffocate.
And the cruelest part is that most people suffering look “fine” on the outside. They smile. They function. They pretend. They hide. Because the world has taught them that their pain is embarrassing, dramatic, or self‑inflicted.
We Live in a culture that worships self‑punishment.And we’re surrounded by messages that tell us to shrink, restrict, cleanse, detox, earn our food, burn our calories, and hate our bodies until they fit someone else’s idea of “acceptable.” We praise people for losing weight without ever asking if they’re okay. We compliment discipline without knowing it might be self‑destruction.
Awareness means calling out the culture that normalizes harm. It means refusing to participate in conversations that shame our own bodies or anyone else’s. It means unlearning the lies we were raised on.
Recovery isn’t a straight line. It’s not a single moment of clarity or a dramatic breakthrough. It’s a thousand tiny choices. It’s eating when you don’t want to. Resting when your mind screams at you to move. Speaking kindly to yourself when the old voice whispers cruelty.
It’s crying in the grocery store. It’s celebrating the days you nourish yourself without guilt. It’s forgiving yourself when you slip. It’s learning to trust your body again, even when it feels impossible. And recovery is not weakness. It is strength in its purest form.
The person who always says they “already ate.” The friend who jokes about needing to “earn” their dinner. The coworker who never joins for lunch. The family member who avoids mirrors. The person who seems confident but is quietly unraveling inside.
Awareness means choosing compassion over assumptions. It means listening without judgment. It means creating space where people feel safe enough to be honest. If you are struggling,you deserve nourishment, and rest. You deserve a life that isn’t ruled by fear, shame, or numbers. You deserve to feel at home in your body not at war with it.
You are not broken. You are not alone. And you are not defined by the hardest thing you’ve survived.
National Eating Disorders Awareness isn’t just a date. It’s a call to soften. To speak gently. To challenge the toxic norms, we’ve accepted for far too long. To check on the people we love. To check on ourselves. To build a world where bodies are respected, not judged. Where food is nourishment, not punishment. Where healing is celebrated, not hidden.
As someone who has battled with eating disorders for more years than I haven’t, I know what it means to live inside a cycle that feels impossible to break. My struggles were born out of trauma but just like so many of my other survival behaviors and even now, after all this time, the echoes of that pain still follow me.
My body isn’t as depleted or fragile as it once was. But the thoughts haven’t magically disappeared. They still show up every day, whispering the old rules, the old fears, and the old lies. I still avoid eating in front of people whenever I can. I still feel that familiar tightening in my chest when food becomes a spotlight instead of nourishment.
Eating disorders are a quiet trap, consuming, and cruel. They take root in the mind long before they show up in the body. They convince you that you’re in control while slowly taking that control away. They drain you mentally and physically, piece by piece, until you feel like there’s nothing left but the disorder itself. And the hardest part is how invisible it can all be. How easy it is to smile, to function and to pretend. How easy it is for the world to miss the pain entirely.
This isn’t weakness. It’s something that grows out of hurt, out of fear, out of the desperate need to feel safe in a world that hasn’t always been safe. And even though the thoughts still come. Even though the habits still tug at me. I’m here. I’m still fighting. I’m still choosing to stay. That matters more than anyone on the outside will ever understand. Thanks for reading! And reach out for help.
Affirmation: My body is not my enemy. I deserve compassion, nourishment, and peace.
“Politics is just humans arguing in circles. Cats understand the truth: sit on the highest perch, knock over what no longer serves you, and nap through the drama.”
-Unknown
Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. Because today’s blog is a political circus, as told by three cats who have never paid taxes, never voted, and yet somehow believe they understand the system better than any human alive. Sit back and enjoy the girls’ explanation about the chaos of government.
Tinkerbell: “Gather around. The Big Orange Cat is speaking again.”
Coco: “Speaking? He’s yelling. He always yells. Why do humans elect creatures who yell?”
Piper: “I don’t know. But all the other cats around him are making faces like he might’ve pooped out of the litter box.”
Me: “He’s not actually our leader. He’s a waste of fur. He’s just loves hearing his gums flap.”
Tinkerbell: “Then why is he in a fancy room with gold curtains?”
Me: “Because humans make choices.”
Coco: “Poor ones.”
Tinkerbell: “Who are these other creatures around him?”
Me: “His cabinet.”
Piper: “Like furniture?”
Coco: “No, idiot. Advisors. Though honestly, furniture might do a better job.”
Tinkerbell: “I see a raccoon with a briefcase. A goose with a badge. A possum asleep under the table.”
Me: “That’s surprisingly accurate.”
Piper: “Why is the goose in charge of paperwork?”
Coco: “Because humans love chaos.”
Me: “Well, he is also involved in a coverup regarding “The Catstein Files.” Okay, this channel is supposed to explain what’s happening.”
Coco: “All I hear is squawking.”
Piper: “They’re parrots! They repeat everything! This is amazing!”
Tinkerbell: “They are not reporting. They are echoing. Loudly. With feathers.”
Coco: “One of them just said “BREAKING NEWS” for the fourth time in ten minutes.”
Piper: “BREAKING NEWS: I knocked over a plant.”
Coco: “BREAKING NEWS: No one is surprised.”
Tinkerbell: “Why are those geese chasing people?”
Me: “That’s LICE a Border Patrol Enforcement Agency.”
Coco: “Enforcement? They’re honking aggressively and losing their paperwork.”
Piper: “One of them is eating the paperwork.”
Tinkerbell: “Truly, a symbol of government efficiency.”
Me: “They’re supposed to keep things organized.”
Coco: “They can’t even keep their feathers organized. And what is that thing on his head?”
Me: “That is a fur piece he saved and put on his head. He calls it a hairstyle. But it looks like a gigantic, runaway hairball.”
Tinkerbell: “Well, you would have to see his cat parents to understand where his hideous genetics originated. I have lived many lives. I have seen many things. But this is the most chaotic government I have ever witnessed.”
Coco: “If humans ran the world like cats, everything would be better. Step one: naps. Step two: snacks. Step three: no yelling.”
Piper: “Step four: chase the geese.”
Coco: “Piper, no.”
Piper: “Piper, YES!”
After reviewing the Big Orange Cat, the raccoon cabinet, the parrot news network, and the goose enforcement squad, my cats have reached a unanimous conclusion, that humans should not be in charge of anything. Not governments. Not agencies. Not news. Not even their own shoes. If cats ran the world, it would be quieter, cleaner, and significantly fluffier. Though admittedly, nothing would ever get done because everyone would be asleep. Thanks for reading! And stand up for your rights and the rights of others.
Affirmation:I remain calm, centered, and spiritually moisturized, even when the world behaves like a raccoon run cabinet meeting where parrots scream policy updates and geese with clipboards chase each other in circles.
“He was a great cheerleader for the country. But not great on the trade.”
-Donald Trump on Ronald Reagan
Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. Now let us continue…
1. “I have a great relationship with the blacks. I’ve always had a great relationship with the blacks.”-Anderson Cooper 360, 7/23/15
Donald has made numerous racists remarks about anyone who isn’t white calling them “animals,” “stone cold killers,” “worst people,” and “The enemy from within.” I don’t know about you, but this sounds a lot like Hitler’s description of the Jews.
2. “Sorry losers and haters, but my I.Q. is one of the highest-and you all know it! Please don’t feel so stupid or insecure, it’s not your fault.”-Twitter, 5/9/13
Ummmm…Donald just because you were able to identify a giraffe, it doesn’t mean that you can draw a clock. He is of very low intelligence.
3. “I won’t do anything to take care of them. I’ll supply funds and she’ll take care of the kids. It’s not like I’m going to be walking the kids down Central Park.”-Howard Stern Interview, 2005.
This quote looks like the common misogyny that his administration and supporters tend to go with. They basically don’t want women to have any rights. And that their place in the world is barefoot and pregnant.
4. “My fingers are long and beautiful, as , it has been well documented, are various other parts of my body.”-New York Post, 2011
Stormy Daniels wrote in her book Full Disclosure about Donald Trump’s penis.
She describes Trump’s penis as “smaller than average” but “not freakishly small.”
“He knows he has an unusual penis,” Daniels writes. “It has a huge mushroom head. Like a toadstool …
“I lay there, annoyed that I was getting &%$#@* by a guy with Yeti pubes and a &%$# like the mushroom character in Mario Kart …
“It may have been the least impressive sex I’d ever had, but clearly, he didn’t share that opinion.”
One thing I personally know about male misogyny is that if you feel the need to project that you have a large “member,” it’s very clear that the individual is describing their ego instead of their penis size. I was married to someone that did the same thing. And he had a very small penis. But I would end my life if I ever thought that I would have to roll around all night with the United States Orange Turd.
5. “We’re rounding ‘em up in very humane way, in a very nice way. And they’re going to be happy because they want to be legalized. And, by the way, I know it doesn’t sound nice. But not everything is nice.” 60 Minute, 2015
There is absolutely nothing humane about the way that ICE is rounding up illegal immigrants and American citizens. And the holding facilities have been described as “deplorable.”
6. The U.S. cannot allow EBOLA-infected people back. People that go to faraway places to help out are great-but must suffer the consequences.”-Twitter 2/19/14
During the 2014-2016 West African Ebola epidemic, a total of two people of African descent with confirmed cases of Ebola came into the US.
8. And let us not forget tariffs that were placed on “Penguin Island.”
The U.S. imposed tariffs on Heard and McDonalds Islands, which are a remote Australian territory near Antarctica inhabited by wildlife but no humans. The only inhabitants are penguins, seals, and seabirds. They have not been visited by a human in nearly 10 years.
9. “You know we’ve cut drug prices by 1,200, 1,300, 1,400, 1,500%. I don’t mean 50%. I mean 14-, 1,500%.”
I think anyone who has had basic math in school understands that one whole item is 100%. However, the idiot in the White House is willing to pay us to go pick up medications. And that has yet to come true.
10. He also proposed a dividend of at least $2,000 per person for individuals below a certain income level, funded by tariff revenue. “We’re taking in so much money that we may very well make a dividend to the people of America.”
I guess maybe those are also lost in the mail and hanging out with our DOGE refund checks. We will receive those in the month of Neveruary.
11. “The line of ‘Make America Great Again,’ the phrase, that was mine, I came up with it about a year ago, and I kept using it, and everybody’s using it, they are all loving it. I don’t know, I guess I should copyright it, maybe I have copyrighted it.”
-MyFox New York, March 2015
“Let’s Make America Great Again” was one of Ronald Reagan’s most well-known campaign slogans. However, the parallels of Hitler surrounding the “stab-in-the-back” myth, blaming Jews, communist, and liberals for Germany’s post-WW1 economic and political distress and promising to purge these “domestic enemies” to renew the nation. That sounds like a large helping of Donald Trump in today’s time.
I cannot make clearer the desperate times in which our country resides. The one thing I always said about being abused by a malignant narcissist is that what you saw wasn’t as bad as when the door closed and everyone disappeared. But then as time went on, he started slipping and his cruelty became overt rather than covert. Donald Trump skipped the covert part. And his cruelty is on center stage for the world to witness. And the more you allow an abuser to get away with more cruelty is by doing nothing about it. And when they begin losing their strong hold, their cruelty will inevitably escalate. America, our time is now! It is time to take down the Trump regime and restore democracy. Thanks for reading!
Affirmation: A blatant lie, the most amazing lie ever.
“Corruption is worse than prostitution. The latter might endanger the morals of an individual, the former invariably endangers the morals of the entire country.”
-Karl Kraus
Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. I know that the descriptions of these sub-humans is getting old. However, I think it’s pertinent to the time that we are experiencing. This one is the last. I apologize for the length. These are some of the individuals that are responsible for the fall of democracy.
1. Pete Hegseth: Kegseth/Hogsloth/Whiskeyleaks/Pete Kegstand/a DUI hire/Capitan Morgan/Pete Kegsbreath/Triple Sec of Defense. Secretary of War. He is our government’s token alcoholic and war criminal. And though he has military experience, he “kisses the ring” of Donald Trump and not the constitution. There is no greater disgrace. He was also a FoxNews anchor, where in 2016 he criticiaed the president’s demands that “military officials should ignore the rules of war to achieve their goals.” Yet he is currently being investigated for war crimes relating to the illegal bombing of fishing boats off the coast of Venezuela, Colombia, Ecuador, and Peru. Yet Donald Trump pardoned the former President Juan Orlando Hernandez, a cocaine narco-terrorist, who was serving a 45-year prison sentence for conspiring to import over 400 tons of cocaine into the United States. And Hegseth is currently being investigated for war crimes which were not “protecting America.” It was mass murder on the world stage.
2. Stephen Miller: aka Weird Stephen/Submissive Stephen (SS)/The hipster undertaker/White nationalist Dracula/Dead Eyes/Baby Hitler. United States Homeland Security Advisor. He wants to shut down all forms of immigration to the United States. And he demonizes immigrants, regardless of immigration status. He cares about nothing but White Power. An external White House adviser, in Vanity Fair repots said, “Stephen actually enjoys seeing those pictures at the border.” Keep in mind that the pictures are of families being torn apart in the name of immigration and leave children sometimes never seeing their parents ever again. Miller responded that the administration’s decision to implement the policy of zero tolerance was “a simple decision.” Miller also started working with far-right hate groups while studying at Duke University. He worked with David Horowitz Freedom Center, which was an anti-muslim hate group that organized the “Terrorism Awareness Project.” To him the project existed to “make our fellow students aware of the Islamic jihad and the terrorist threat, and to mobilize support for the defense of America and the civilization of the West.” And that, my friend, sounds like German propaganda from the Nazis. With his bald head if you’re looking for him, he will resemble something like a rectal polyp.
3. Robert F. Kennedy, Jr.: Microwaved Mel Gibson/The most dangerous nepo baby in American history/Predator/ Secretary of Department of Health and Human Services.He might have the last name Kennedy. But he is not the embodiment of that legacy. He is an absolute idiot of epic proportions. He is an admitted heroin addict. Now how much healthier could the representative from the Department of Health be? In fact, he contracted a pork tapeworm that caused cognitive issues, memory loss, and brain fog. It eventually died off. However, I think we all know that the poor worm probably died of starvation from RFK Jr.’s lack of brain matter. So, I would consider that a form of animal abuse. And truly, he seems to have never recovered from that disaster after some of his absurd claims. And just for the record, he doesn’t believe in medical science. Here are a few idiotic claims to ponder.
a) Vaccines and Autism: He has repeatedly promoted the claim that vaccines cause autism. Medical and scientific consensus firmly states that there is no link between the two.
b) Covid-19: He claims that COVID-19 was genetically engineered, These claims have been condemned as antisemitic and racist.
c) Tylenol and Autism: Kennedy and Trump made the claim that women who took Tylenol in pregnancy increased the risk of autism in their children. Experts also refute this claim stating that Tylenol is one of the few safe pain relievers for pregnant women.
d) Chronic Disease Statistics: He falsely stated that the percentage of Americans with chronic diseases increased from 3%-60% since his uncle was president. Thank God for fact checkers as the actual percentage was 44.5% in the 1960s. And the current rise is attributed to longer life expectancies and better detection methods.
e) Antidepressants and Mass Shootings: He states that the use of antidepressants caused a higher rate of mass shootings. This is a claim that scientists say has “no biological plausibility.”
f) HIV/AIDS: He has also made claims that there were “much better candidates than HIV for what causes AIDS” and “African AIDS is an entirely different disease from Western AIDS.” And that is utter bullshit. They are the same.
g) Safety of Vaccines: He stated that there is “no vaccine that is safe and effective.” And also called the COVID-19 vaccine the “deadliest vaccine ever made.” Again, the only thing that stopped the pandemic was the COVID vaccine.
His claims are absolutely ridiculous. There are other claims about ivermectin, chemtrails, brainworms, fluoride and 5G technology. Why do we have someone in charge of this department that doesn’t believe in medical science? And as you can see throughout the nation, childhood diseases once thought eradicated are coming back to kill us all. Before you take anything serious coming from the Department of Human Services, do some fact checking.
And apparently he and ex-flame and disgraced journalist Olivia Nuzzi. And well, the raunchy poems and text messages indicated “felching.” This term describes a sexual term us when one sexual partner sucks semen out of another partner’s anus or vagina following unprotected penetrative sex. One of his poems read, “Your open mouth awaiting my harvest. I mean to squeeze your cheeks to force open your mouth. I’ll hold your nose as you look up at me to encourage you to swallow. Don’t spill a drop. I am a river. You are my canyon. I mean to flow through you. I mean to subdue and tame you. My love.”
Oh my God! I’m going to vomit. Yep, that is the disgusting human being that is running the government’s health program. I am even more firm in my commitment as a lesbian right now. And I just can’t seem to answer the question, “What exactly qualified him to do anything with health?” In the meantime, diseases once considered eradicated are now coming back with a vengeance and our children and our families will slowly begin to die off.
4. The United States Supreme Court: This is the ultimate and most prestigious judicial court in our country. And it, for many years, has been one of integrity. It is anything but that now. They continue to make rulings based on the wants of Donald Trump with no respect for our country’s constitution. They are weakening anti-corruption laws, being paid in luxury travel and gifts funded by billionaires. And this is what is stopping the “entire administration from being “transparent. This ruling court should be ashamed at how they are making a mockery of the founding fathers and their efforts.
5. Fox News: aka State Regime Media. It is a notoriously very right-wing media channel that has been sued many times for falsifying information that it passed on to the American public. Fox News agreed to pay an $800 million settlement by Dominion Voting Systems where they claimed that they would have exposed how the network promoted lies about the 2020 presidential election. And the court’s rulings found “that there were certain claims about Dominion to be false.” That settlement follows a $965 million judgment issued in 2022 against Alex Jones by a Connecticut jury for spreading false conspiracy theories about the Sandy Hook school massacre. And in my opinion, Fox News should never be considered a credible source. And they cater to Donald Trump and his regime.
This blog series is not a complete list of horrors we face in our country at this time. I have left out for space Karo-Lying KKK Leavitt, Jared Kushner, Marco Rubio, Scott Bessent, and Peter Thiel who are equally corrupt. And they will all forever be known in history as the people who tried to kill democracy. They do not stand for our democracy that is defined in the Costitution. They spread hate and discrimination that is a part of the White Nationalist views. They are trying to normalize misogyny, narcissim, racism, homophobia, pedophilia, sexual assault, abuse, and cruelty. And to further these agendas they use Christianity to impose their cruelty. When all it is really is “White Supremacy in Bible Drag.” What they didn’t count on was the power of the people. Our nation has evolved through creating push-back on policies and actions that do not reflect the beliefs of the American people. I have only one statement for Donald Trump and his gestapo regime, “We the people are coming for you!” And you will be held accountable for your crimes. Thanks for reading! And Wake Up America!
Affirmation: Corruption ends where courage begins.
“Now more than ever the people are responsible for the character of their Congress. If that body be ignorant, reckless, and corrupt, it is because the people tolerate ignorance, recklessness, and corruption.”
-James A. Garfield
Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. Today, I want to tell you about a group of people known as “The Guardians of the Pedophiles.” The ones I will speak about today are Donald Trump’s cabinet members and some of the influences in the MAGA movement. “Make America Great Again” was a powerful and very uneducated movement that is now an abject failure. Our government is literally being held together by duct tape and denial. Here are some of the people that has made it what it is.
1. JD Vance: Vice President aka Smokey Eyed Sociopath/Failed Drag Queen and Eyeliner Earl, Vice President of the United States. The truth of the matter is that JD wears eye liner as a part of his daily full faced makeup routine. And when he presents himself to the public, he literally looks like a failed drag queen. He was an admitted atheist originally. But now is one of the “hell fire and brimstone” people in the White House. And there’s trouble brewing at home with his Hindu immigrant wife Usha Vance, after a questionable hug from Charlie Kirk’s widow on national television. And in his memoir, Hillbilly Elegy, about thrusting his penis into “an inside-out latex glove shoved between two couch cushions.” To which he replied, “I did not have sexual relations with that couch.” It was a false claim by a user on X. However, this has stuck and it is reported and my belief that Erika Kirk might just be the newest couch. He is a staunch Trump ally, despite being a “Never Trump” critic in 2016. And lastly, his is a leading voice for the “America First” foreign policy. And criticizes “woke” American institutions as the “childless left”. And as someone who really pushes the homophobia aspect, him wearing makeup is pretty “woke” if you ask me. I think that he is even more diabolical than Donald Trump.
2. Mike Johnson: aka Moses Mike Grindr Johnson/MAGA Mike/Moses Johnson/Mike ‘Little Man’ Johnson. U.S. Speaker of the House who is a strong allegiance to Donald Trump’s “Make America Great Again” movement to challenge and attempt to prevent the certification of the 2020 election results. He is also very forward on his opposition to the “wokeness” of the left. And there was a rumor that he has a habit of being on Grindr and being a “power bottom.” At the National Association of Christian Lawmakers (NACL) gala in 2023, he stated that God told him, “Now, step forward” and described his surprise at how God had chosen him to be the Moses figure leading the GOP . And he and his daughter attended a purity ball, a controversial dance event, popular among conservative Christians in the 2000s, that involves fathers and daughter in formal attire. The daughters then sign a pledge to their fathers to abstain from dating and to remain sexually abstinent until marriage. And that is just plain creepy to sign your virginity over to your father. His “wokeness” contradicts his conservative Christian values.
3. Kash Patel: Kash “Ching Ching” Patel/Cash Pedal/Make-A-Wish Director/Keystone Kash/Cashing in Patel who is the director of the FBI, is part of the corruption regarding the Epstein Files and the “whitewashing” and redacting Donald Trump’s name within those files. Prior to his current position he was a conspiracy theorist Youtuber who uses taxpayer money to go on extravagant golfing and hunting trips. And it is currently catching heat for also using taxpayer funds to take a private, governmental jet, to take his country singer girlfriend on a date and provide security for her. And currently, Congress has ordered him to release all of the remaining files via the new Epstein Files Transparency Act. He speaks of transparency, but his actions do not reflect that claim. He is in no way now or has ever been qualified to hold his current position as FBI director. One thing he will always have is that “deer in the headlight” look.
4. Pam Bondi: Bootlicker Barbie/Pedophile Protector Pam She is the U.S. Attorney General who will have a lot to answer for when it comes to vindictive prosecution of Leticia James and James Comey who have been targeted by Donald Trump and his administration that make false criminal claims against them both simply because they didn’t “cow tow” to Trump and his demands. Their cases have recently been struck down by judges. She will face imprisonment and being disbarred if convicted about her illegal activities related to her position of power and ethics violations.
5. Kristi Noem: aka ICE Barbie/Homeland Barbie/Puppy Killer/Cosplay Kristi/Kowgirl Kristi/Cruella De Vil. Secretary of Homeland Security. Kristi Noem who looks like the “Tammy Faye Baker” of the U.S. government is most notably known for being the Governor of South Dakota and the leader of ICE. During her time as governor she was criticized for the luxury mansion renovations, significant taxpayer-funded travel, and for accepting payments for fundraising from political groups. Specifically, she has spent $60k in mansion upgrades, $640, 000 in state credit card expenses in travel, including trips for book tours and hunting. And has received $80,000 from American Resolve Policy Fund. And her income was supplemented by dark money groups such as Common Cause, ProPublica and American Oversight. In her book “No Going Back” she admits that she shot her 14-month-old dog for being “untrainable.” And just for comparison Michael Vick went to prison for doing exactly what he has done. She is over the controversial ICE operations that are illegally detaining and deporting many “legal” Americans due to skin color and spoke dialect. She also spreads propaganda about “Antifa being a criminal organization.” She has gone so far as getting on the roof of a building to get a better look at these so-called dangerous protestors, only to find about ten people peacefully protesting and one was dressed as a chicken. The propaganda about the false dangers regarding the opposition to Donald Trump has led to the outright cruelty and defiance of judges and court orders. And she recently stated in a Cabinet meeting directly to Donald Trump saying, “Sir, you made it through hurricane season without a hurricane. Even you kept the hurricanes away. We appreciate that.” That statement was in reference to Trump saying that “he should try stopping hurricanes with nuclear missiles.” If looking for her in the wild, she will closely resemble Jigsaw in the Saw movie series.
In this episode of “Get To Know Your Government”, I have highlighted some key figures in powerful positions that are responsible for the state of our nation. The corruption runs deep. But like most corruption, this too will fall. And people will be held accountable for their individual participation. These people are unbelievably horrible for what they have done and continue to do to the American people. Thanks for reading! Stay informed.
Affirmation: Transparency shines a light that makes corruption impossible.
This Puzzled Life 