This Puzzled Life is a mental health and recovery blog exploring addiction, trauma healing, LGBTQ experiences, humor, and the strange moments that shape us.
“Sweetness is not weakness. Sometimes the softest fruit grows the sharpest thorns.”
-This Puzzled Life
Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. We’re calling in clarity, sweetness, and just a little bit of danger. Fruity Fangs is the kind of strain that smiles at you real pretty. All while sharpening its teeth behind its back. This is a Southern‑chaotic communion. A porch‑philosopher sermon. And a budtender benediction for anyone who needs a reminder that joy can have an edge. And where healing can taste like fruit dipped in mischief.
Fruity Fangs comes from a lineage that feels like it was bred in a candy shop and raised in a dojo. It is an indica-dominant hybrid that is a cross between Fruity Pebbles OG x Animal Cookies. Fruity Pebbles OG is a cross between Grandaddy Purple x Tahoe Alien. Animal Cookies is a cross between Tahoe OG Kush x Alien Kush. Together they create a hybrid that’s playful but not foolish. Sweet but not simple. And uplifting without floating you off the porch.
This strain tastes like someone took a bowl of mixed berries. Rolled them in powdered sugar. And then whispered a threat of pepper on the exhale. The flavor notes are those of a sweet berry inhale. Tropical candy mid‑notes. And a warm, slightly spicy finish that reminds you this strain has a spine. It’s dessert with a warning label. And that’s why we love her.
Fruity Fangs usually expresses a terpene trio that reads like a fruit basket with a backbone. The major terpenes are Limonene, Caryophyllene, and Myrcene. Depending on the grow, you may also see hints of Linalool or Humulene. Which will be adding floral calm or earthy grounding.
Every grower, every climate, every soil composition, every curing room leave fingerprints on the plant. So don’t be surprised if Fruity Fangs from Colorado feels like a bright fruit salad while Fruity Fangs from the Deep South hits like berry cobbler with a side of attitude.
Fruity Fangs tends to offer a balanced, functional relief profile. Patients report relief from mood elevation without overstimulation. Stress reduction with a gentle body ease. Creative spark and mental clarity. Mild pain relief. And it’s helpful for social anxiety, emotional heaviness, and “I need to reset my whole spirit” days. It’s a strain that lets you stay present while softening the edges. Thanks for reading! Keep blazin.”
Affirmation: I honor the parts of myself that are tender. And the parts that protect me. I can be sweet, strong, and sacred all at once.
“Love is not holy if it requires your child to shrink.”
-This Puzzled Life
Light the charcoal. Invoke the ancestors. Because Lord, they’ve been watching this mess unfold for generations and they are tired. I can practically hear Big Mama in the spirit realm, fanning herself with a church program and whispering, “Baby, go on and say it. They need to hear it.” So, I’m writing this letter. This holy‑ghost‑powered, Southern‑fried, and emotionally charged letter to the parents of LGBTQIA+ kids everywhere. And I’m writing it in the voice of every queer ancestor who had to survive Sunday School shame, back‑pew gossip, and family reunions where the potato salad had more acceptance than they did.
This is a letter from me, a queer adult who lived through the fire. Walked through the brimstone. And still came out smelling like sandalwood and resilience. And I’m not holding back. Sit back while I speak some truth.
Dear Parents, before you bring a child into this world biologically, adoption, or through the “God told me to foster” pipeline, you need to sit with yourself and ask one question, “Am I going to love this child more than my beliefs?” If the answer is anything other than a full‑bodied, chest‑thumping, hallelujah‑shouting yes, then you don’t need children. You need a devotional, a therapist, and maybe a long walk through the woods to talk to Jesus directly.
Let me be clear. Jesus, the actual Jesus, not the one y’all weaponize, never bullied a child. He never told a kid they were going to hell. He never said, “Love thy neighbor unless they’re gay.” He never threw stones at queer folks. He only threw shade at hypocrites. So, if you’re out here being your child’s first bully, oppressor, heartbreak, first source of shame, you are not parenting. You are spiritually vandalizing a soul God trusted you with. And I’m here to tell you with all the ancestors nodding behind me, that is not holy. That is not righteous. That is not love.
10 Beliefs That Mean You Should Not Have Children
If your religion means more to you than your child’s humanity, you should not have children. Jesus didn’t die on the cross so you could weaponize Leviticus like a spiritual flyswatter.
If you plan to be your child’s first bully, you should not have children. Kids deserve parents. Not mean girls with mortgages.
If you believe your grandchildren are “tainted” because their parents are gay, you should’ve never had children yourself. The family tree didn’t rot. Your mindset did.
If you teach your child to hate LGBTQIA+ family members, you should not have children. Hell is not the destination here. But your behavior is the road map.
If you think “unconditional love” comes with fine print, you should not have children. God doesn’t do contracts. He does covenants.
If you believe queer kids are a punishment instead of a blessing, you should not have children. That’s not theology. That’s ignorance with a Bible cover.
If you think “pray the gay away” is a parenting strategy, you should not have children. Prayer is for healing. Not conversion therapy cosplay.
If you’d rather lose your child than lose your church friends, you should not have children.Jesus ate with outcasts. You’re worried about potluck politics.
If you think shame is a teaching tool, you should not have children. Shame doesn’t save souls. It breaks them.
If you believe love must be earned, you should not have children. Children are not employees. You are not their boss. Love is not a performance review.
Let me take a deep breath. Pull up a rocking chair on the porch of truth. And say this slow enough for even the folks in the back pew. This is for the ones who pretend they’re reading scripture. But are really scrolling Facebook to understand. If your love cannot stretch wide enough to hold a queer child, then your love is not love. It is fear dressed up in Sunday clothes.
And I’m going to tell you something the ancestors have been whispering for decades. Children come through you. Not for you. They are not born to validate your beliefs, your image, your reputation, or your standing in the church bulletin. Children are not your emotional support trophies. They are not your redemption arc. They are not your second chance at being the person you wish you were. They are not your spiritual PR campaign.
They are souls that are whole, holy, and handcrafted by the same God you claim to worship. And if you cannot love them without conditions, ultimatums, threats of hellfire, “pray it away” nonsense, and shame disguised as righteousness, then you are not parenting. You are performing. You are auditioning for approval from people who wouldn’t show up for you if your house caught fire. You are sacrificing your child’s mental health on the altar of “What will the church ladies think?” You are choosing doctrine over devotion. Fear over family. And ego over empathy.
Let me say this louder with the ancestors stomping their feet like a praise break behind me. Jesus never asked a child to shrink so a parent could feel tall. Jesus never told a child to hide so a parent could feel holy. Jesus never demanded silence from the oppressed to comfort the oppressor.
If your child comes out to you in fear, trembling, hope, desperation, and your first instinct is to shame them. Correct them. Punish them. Or “fix” them. Then you have misunderstood the entire point of parenthood.
And if your response is, “Well, I love them. But I don’t support their lifestyle,” let me lovingly, sarcastically, and spiritually inform you. Your child does not have a lifestyle. They have a life. And you are either in it, or you are not.
If you think rejecting your child is righteous. I promise you that Jesus is looking down at you like, “That’s not what I said.” If you think your child’s identity is a sin. But your cruelty isn’t. You might want to reread the red‑letter parts of the Bible. The ones where Jesus actually speaks. Because he spent his entire ministry calling out people who acted exactly like that.
If you think your child’s queerness is a burden. But your judgment isn’t. You need to sit with that. If you think your child’s truth is dangerous. But your silence isn’t. You need to sit with that. If you think your child’s love is wrong. But your rejection is holy. You need to sit with that.
And while you’re sitting, let me offer you the kind of truth that makes the ancestors nod and Jesus raise an eyebrow. Queer kids do not break families. Parents who choose fear over love do. Queer kids do not destroy homes. Parents who weaponize scripture do. Queer kids do not cause generational trauma. Parents who refuse to evolve do. And heterosexual parents create gay children. They don’t create themselves.
Queer kids do not walk away from families lightly. Parents who make home unsafe push them out. And if you lose your child because you could not love them fully, freely, and fiercely. That is not their sin. That is your consequence. If you cannot love a queer child. You are not ready to love any child. If your heart cannot expand. Your family cannot grow. If your faith cannot bend. Your relationships will break. If your compassion cannot stretch. Your legacy will shrink.
And one day you will look back and realize that the child you rejected was the one who could’ve taught you the most about love. But by then, they’ll be gone. And they’ll be loved somewhere else. Fully. Joyfully. Safely. And without conditions. Ancestors humming. Jesus nodding. And the truth standing tall. Thanks for reading! What are your thoughts?
Affirmation: I honor my truth, identity, and my worth. And I refuse to let anyone’s fear masquerading as faith define me.
“Living your truth is the loudest. Proudest act of rebellion. And baby, it’s contagious.”
-This Puzzled Life
Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. And call upon the ancestors. It is National Coming Out Week! And the spirits are ready for a show. Before we let my cats start their usual porch‑swing chaos, let’s set the stage.
National Coming Out Week is all about celebrating truth, courage, and the glorious moment when someone says, “This is who I am. And I’m done pretending otherwise.” It’s about honoring every person who steps into their identity loudly, quietly, flamboyantly, nervously, or with the confidence of a drag queen who just found out the sequins were buy‑one‑get‑one. It’s a week of visibility, joy, and community. The reminder that coming out isn’t just an announcement. It’s liberation. It’s choosing authenticity over fear. Connection over silence. And pride over shame. And honey, that deserves a parade, a potluck, and at least three casseroles.
Piper: “Momma, I’m declaring myself the official mascot of National Coming Out Week. I’ve been coming out of closets, cabinets, and the neighbor’s boat shed since 2019. I am basically the Rosa Parks of dramatic entrances.”
Coco: “Piper, you come out because you break in. That’s not activism. That’s burglary. And I’m coming out as exhausted by your delusions.”
Tinkerbell: “I would like to come out as spiritually evolved. I have transcended. I am now operating on a higher frequency. Y’all wouldn’t understand.”
Piper: “Tinkerbell, you cried for 45 minutes last week because your shadow ‘looked disappointed.’ You are not transcended. You are fragile.”
Coco: “And let’s not forget when you tried to sage the litter box. The ancestors did not ask for that. They were probably up there hollerin,’ ‘Girl, stop’!”
Tinkerbell: “I was cleansing the negativity. Y’all are toxic.”
Piper: “Anyway, Momma, tell the people how National Coming Out Week works in Mississippi. Tell them how folks whisper ‘I’m gay’ like they’re confessing to stealing the church’s folding chairs.”
Coco: “Or how the local conservative Facebook group thinks ‘coming out’ means revealing your secret banana pudding recipe.”
Tinkerbell: “Or how Pastor Earl says, ‘We welcome everyone.’ But his eyebrow twitches like it’s trying to file for emancipation.”
Down here coming out can feel like announcing you’ve switched from sweet tea to unsweetened. Folks gasp. Someone faints. A distant cousin writes a Facebook post that begins with, “I’m not judging, BUT…” But National Coming Out Week is about joy, truth, and living louder than a cicada in mating season. It’s about saying, “My identity is not up for debate, discussion, or discount.”
It’s about celebrating every story, step, and brave moment. Even the tiny ones. Even the “I’m not ready to tell Aunt Linda yet because she still thinks Lady Gaga is a witch” steps. And it’s about knowing the ancestors are nodding. The universe is vibing. And your cats are probably judging. But lovingly.
So as the charcoal burns. The sage smokes. And the ancestors lean in like they’re watching a telenovela, remember this. Coming out isn’t a one‑time event. It’s a lifelong celebration. A reclamation. A declaration that you refuse to shrink yourself to fit inside somebody’s casserole dish of expectations. And if anyone in the conservative South gets confused, just smile sweetly. Adjust your crown and say, “I didn’t come out for your comfort. I came out for my joy.” Then strut away like Piper after knocking something off the counter. Coco after stealing snacks. Or Tinkerbell after achieving inner peace for 11 seconds.
National Coming Out Week: Where the truth is loud. The humor is louder. And the ancestors are hollerin’ ‘YASSSSS.’ Thanks for reading! And come on out!!!💙🇺🇸🏳️🌈
Affirmation: My truth is sacred. My identity is powerful. And I walk forward with pride, humor, and a whole lot of Southern sparkle.
“If your righteousness requires my suffering, then your holiness is nothing but cruelty dressed in Sunday clothes.”
-This Puzzled Life
Light the charcoal. Invoke the ancestors. Lord, this country has lost its mind. Let the smoke rise like a prayer and a warning. Call the ones who survived storms, men, laws, and the kind of sanctified hypocrisy that could curdle milk in August. Today we’re talking about abortion rights in this country. And I’m bringing every ounce of Southern sass, righteous fury, and generational truth you asked for.
When Roe v. Wade was overturned, it wasn’t just a political decision. It was a death sentence for mothers, daughters, nieces, cousins, and every woman who has ever had to decide about her own damn body. And the same Christians who holler “God’s will” like they’re auditioning for a revival tent, are the first ones who would sneak their daughters across state lines faster than a Pentecostal deacon running from a scandal.
Let’s tell the truth. They don’t want their daughters forced to carry a rapist’s baby. They want your daughters to. And they justify it with that tired line, “Well, if it’s in God’s will…” If God’s will was that clear, he’d send a notarized letter. But these folks cherry-pick scripture like they’re at a Golden Corral buffet. They’ll quote “Thou shalt not kill” while ignoring every verse where the Bible literally commands pregnancy termination under certain circumstances.
Bible Sources They Never Bring Up
Numbers 5:11–31-The “ordeal of bitter water,” where a priest gives a woman a potion to end a pregnancy if she conceived through adultery.
Hosea 9:14 -“Give them a miscarrying womb.”
Exodus 21:22–25 – A fetus is not treated as a person. Causing a miscarriage is a property crime, not murder.
If abortion is murder, then unplugging a brain-dead family member from life support should be prosecuted too. Because guess what? A fetus before sentience has no subjective experience. No awareness. No consciousness. No “personhood.” It is ethically equivalent to ending life support on someone who has already lost the ability to experience anything at all. But they don’t want to hear that. Because logic ain’t welcome in the Gospel of Ike Turner. Which is the version of Christianity where violence against women is excused, justified, and sanctified.
As someone who has been assaulted many times, I will say this with my whole chest. I would not carry my rapist’s baby. That child was not conceived in love. It was not wanted. It was not chosen. And it was not consensual.
And as an adopted child, I know the psychological toll of being rejected. My birth mother looked me in the eyes and said, “You were an inconvenience and you still are.” Had she chosen abortion, it would’ve spared me decades of emotional torment. Adoption is not the soft, rosy alternative they pretend it is. It is trauma wrapped in a bow.
Let’s talk about the 10-year-old girl in Ohio who was raped by a 27-year-old man. She became pregnant. Her state refused her an abortion. She had to flee to another state like a fugitive. A child. Not a woman. Not a mother. A baby forced to carry a baby.
The physical damage alone could have killed her. The psychological damage will echo for decades. And abortion isn’t covered by insurance. So, unless you’ve got $600–$2,000 lying around, you’re stuck. Cruelty disguised as morality.
Let me tell you something plain, loud, and with the kind of Southern truth that doesn’t need sweet tea to go down smooth. Legal abortions are safer than the desperate, back‑alley horrors women were forced into before Roe. A medical abortion performed by trained professionals is one of the safest procedures in modern healthcare. It’s safer than childbirth. Safer than dental surgery. And safer than pretending purity culture ever protected anybody. But when you take that option away, women don’t stop needing abortions. They just stop having safe ones. And history shows exactly what happens next with coat hangers, bleach, stairs, trauma, infection, and death. Women bleeding out alone in bathrooms because lawmakers wanted moral points instead of medical reality. Criminalizing abortion doesn’t save lives. It sends women back into the shadows where they die trying to save themselves.
WHY ABORTION MUST BE LEGAL
1. Rape and incest survivors deserve bodily autonomy. No child or adult should be forced to carry their trauma.
Medical emergencies require immediate termination options. Ectopic pregnancies, sepsis, hemorrhaging where abortion saves lives.
Fetuses without sentience are not persons.Neuroscience confirms this.
People will always have sex. Morality does not override biology.
Contraception fails. Even perfect use has failure rates.
Forced birth increases poverty. The U.S. has the highest maternal mortality rate in the developed world.
Adoption is not a cure-all. It is trauma for many children and mothers.
Unwanted children suffer lifelong consequences. Emotional, financial, psychological.
Criminalizing abortion criminalizes miscarriage. Women are already being investigated for spontaneous pregnancy loss.
Healthcare decisions belong to patients, not politicians. Period.
And if you need credible references, try these:
Guttmacher Institute
CDC Maternal Mortality Reports
American Psychological Association
American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists
National Institute of Mental Health
Pew Research Center
The Lancet Medical Journal
WHO Reproductive Health Data
Light the charcoal again because this needs a second burn. Abortion is healthcare. Abortion is mercy. Abortion is autonomy. Abortion is survival. And anyone who claims it’s “God’s will” while secretly protecting their own daughters is not righteous. They’re cowardly. They’re hypocrites. They’re weaponizing religion to control women.
If Christians want to call abortion murder, then they better start arresting every family who ever unplugged a loved one from life support. But they won’t. Because deep down, they know the truth. Sentience is the line. Consciousness is the line. Human experience is the line. And forcing birth is not holiness. It is cruelty dressed in scripture.
I stand with every woman who has ever had to make this decision. I stand with every survivor who refuses to carry their trauma. I stand with every child who deserves a life chosen. Not forced. And I stand with you, Southern sass, survivor strength, and ancestral fire. May the ancestors walk with us as we fight for the right to our own bodies. May the smoke rise and carry our truth. May the next generation inherit freedom, not fear.
Affirmation: I honor my body, my story, and my right to choose. My autonomy is sacred. My voice is powerful. And my ancestors walk beside me.
“Focus isn’t found in the noise. It’s grown in the quiet corners where intention meets the right strain.”
-This Puzzled Life
Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Today, we’re into the sacred room where ADHD meets the green medicine cabinet of Mother Nature. And the ancestors lean in whispering, “Baby, pick the strain that helps your brain. Not the one that sends you reorganizing your pantry at 3 a.m.”
Below is a curated list of 10 cannabis strains commonly cited for ADHD support. They’re grounded in terpene-forward research emphasizing limonene, alpha‑pinene, and beta‑caryophyllene. This is the trio most associated with focus, cognitive clarity, and task initiation.
Top 10 Cannabis Strains for ADHD (with Genetics & Type)
1. Jack Herer
Genetics: Haze × Northern Lights #5 × Shiva Skunk
Type: Sativa-dominant hybrid
Why ADHD-friendly: High pinene + limonene for alertness and mental clarity.
Why ADHD-friendly: Bright, uplifting, and mentally stimulating.
10. Lemon Skunk
Genetics: Two Skunk phenotypes
Type: Sativa-dominant hybrid
Why ADHD-friendly: Limonene-rich citrus profile supports attention and motivation.
Research suggests ADHD symptom relief correlates more with terpene composition than with indica/sativa labels. And as always keep in mind that depending on the climate each strain will differ slightly. Thanks for reading! Have you tried any of these strains?
Affirmation: I honor my mind by choosing what supports my clarity, my calm, and my creative fire.
“ADHD isn’t a flaw. It’s a superpower with a slightly chaotic user manual.”
-This Puzzled Life
Light the charcoal. Let it crackle like every thought I’ve ever had that showed up uninvited. Wearing cowboy boots. Holding a half‑finished idea. And demanding snacks because my brain sends its ideas to me like rowdy bar patrons who wandered in through the wrong door.
We are about to summon the sacred ADHD spirits. The ones who live in the corners of our minds. Rearranging our priorities like drunk raccoons in a Dollar General dumpster. And knocking over every plan we ever made and replacing it with “What if we reorganize the spice cabinet at 1:47 AM?”
ADHD Awareness Month deserves an entrance with smoke, drama, and the kind of chaotic flair that makes your ancestors lean forward in their rocking chairs. Clutch their pearls and whisper, “Lord this child.” While fanning themselves with a church bulletin. We’re about to roast the entire concept of “focus” like it’s a marshmallow we dropped in the fire. Watched roll into the ashes. Shrugged. And decided to eat anyway. That’s the most ADHD thing we could possibly do. In one chaotic Southern sermon of scatterbrain glory.
ADHD Awareness Month is here. Thirty whole days dedicated to understanding the majestic, unpredictable, frequently caffeinated roller coaster that is the ADHD brain. And let me tell you, this brain is not a gentle carousel. Oh no. It is Six Flags, Disney World, and a malfunctioning county fair ride all duct‑taped together by someone who said, “I saw this on YouTube once.”
This month is supposed to be about education, advocacy, and empowerment. But for those of us living the ADHD life, it’s more like:
“I’m gonna learn everything about ADHD!”
Immediately gets distracted by a documentary about competitive cheese rolling.
“Wait. What was I doing?”
Starts reorganizing the pantry at 2 AM.
“Oh right, ADHD Awareness Month!”
Forgets again.
Let’s talk about ADHD Awareness Month in the Deep South where the humidity is thick enough to butter toast. The cicadas scream like they’re being evicted. And your brain is already sweating before you even open your eyes. This month is meant to raise awareness. But honestly? Most of us are just trying to raise our blood sugar enough to remember why we walked into the kitchen. This month is a whole vibe. A whole saga. A whole epic poem written by someone who forgot the plot halfway through and started describing a completely different story.
The ADHD Time Warp
You start a task. You blink. It’s three hours later and you’re deep into a Wikipedia rabbit hole about the history of doorknobs.
The ADHD Cleaning Ritual
You decide to clean one thing. You end up cleaning nothing. But somehow you’ve rearranged the furniture. Started a load of laundry. Opened 14 browser tabs. And found a spoon you haven’t seen since 2019.
The ADHD Emotional Weather Report
Today’s forecast consists of 40% chance of hyperfocus. 60% chance of forgetting to eat. 80% chance of starting a new project. 100% chance of saying “I swear I’m trying” at least once.
The ADHD Advocacy Experience
People say, “ADHD is just being distracted.” Meanwhile, your brain is running 47 tabs, 3 playlists, 2 intrusive thoughts, and a full Broadway production of Why Did I Say That Out Loud? starring you.
The ADHD Southern Edition
You’re trying to explain ADHD to your relatives, and they hit you with “Baby, you just got a lot of personality”, “Baby, you just think fast”, “Baby, you just need a nap”, “Baby, you just like to talk”, and “Baby, you just need Jesus.” Ma’am, Jesus is tired too.
ADHD Awareness Month is basically a group project where everyone forgot the assignment. Nobody brought supplies. And yet somehow we still turned in something creative, chaotic, and absolutely unforgettable.
So, here’s to ADHD Awareness Month. The only awareness month where we forget it’s happening. Remember it dramatically. Forget again. And then suddenly become experts at 3 AM with a burst of hyperfocus that could power a small town.
Here’s to the people who live in a brain that is both a carnival and a NASA launch pad. Here’s to the ones who feel deeply. Think wildly. Love intensely. And create masterpieces out of pure chaos. Here’s to the ones who have been told they’re “too much.” When in reality they’re just operating at a frequency the rest of the world hasn’t caught up to yet.
We are not broken. We are not scattered. We are not lazy. We are not “trying to be difficult.” We are lightning in human form. We are creativity with a pulse. We are resilience wrapped in humor and duct tape. We are the reason the universe stays interesting. ADHD Awareness Month isn’t about fixing us. It’s about celebrating us.
Now excuse me while I drop this mic which will roll under the couch. Stay there for six months. And be rediscovered during a cleaning spree that started because I lost a sock. Month celebrated. Chaos honored. Thanks for reading! How has ADHD affected you?
Affirmation: I celebrate my creativity, energy, and my beautifully wired brain. I am not behind. I am building momentum in my own magic‑filled way.
“Some strains wake you up. Some slow you down. But Campfire Coffee reminds you to be here, where the sparks fly and the stories get good.”
-This Puzzled Life
Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Today we’re calling in a strain that tastes like a Mississippi sunrise poured straight into a tin mug. And the strain name is Campfire Coffee.
Campfire Coffee is a balanced hybrid that behaves like the friend who shows up with a flannel shirt, a pocketknife, and a story they swear is true. Even though you know good and well it ain’t. It is balanced, warm, grounding but with just enough spark to keep you talking long after the fire burns low. It’s a cross between Coffee Cream × Bonfire OG. Coffee Cream is a cross between Coffee Bean × Vanilla Frost. Bonfire OG is a cross between OG Kush × Firestarter. This is a strain built like a family reunion. It’s a little sweet, smoky, chaotic, and somehow it all works. Campfire Coffee tastes like fresh‑brewed dark roast. Toasted marshmallow crust. Smoky cedar. A whisper of molasses. And an earthy cocoa on the exhale. It’s basically the flavor of telling secrets around a fire pit while someone’s dog snores at your feet.
Top terpenes in this strain are Caryophyllene, Myrcene, Humulene, and Pinene (light). Together they create a profile that feels like stepping out of a tent at dawn. Patients reach for this strain to help with stress, mild pain, inflammation, mood, creative, focus, and anxiety. Perfect for folks who want to unwind without disappearing into the sofa like a Victorian ghost
Please keep in mind that depending on differences in grows depends on what area of the country it is grown in. Ther will also be slight differences depending on when, where the plant was grown. Thanks for reading! And keep blazin.’ Have you tried this strain?
Affirmation:I ground myself in warmth, creativity, and calm. I am steady like firewood and bright like flame.
“In this house we save the tatas, the gays, the strays, and whatever dignity we have left after the cats finish their activism tour.”
-This Puzzled Life
Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. Today, you’re going to need every ounce of spiritual protection you can muster. Because your Southern‑raised, chaos‑certified cats decide they’re attending a Save the Tatas event like it’s the Met Gala, the Essence Festival, and a church homecoming all rolled into one. When I casually mentioned I was going to a Save the Tatas event, my cats reacted like I’d just announced Pride Month was being extended by popular demand. And catered by RuPaul herself. Every queer ancestor within a 200‑mile radius sat up in their celestial lawn chairs like, “Oh baby, the girls are about to cut up” And they were right.
Piper immediately wrapped herself in a pink bandana like she was the grand Marshall of the Breast Cancer Awareness Pride Parade. Coco demanded glitter, rhinestones, and a wind machine “for dramatic effect.” And Tinkerbell? She started designing a fundraiser table that looked suspiciously like a drag queen’s merch booth.
In true Southern queer‑adjacent fashion, they didn’t ask permission. They just declared themselves the Official Feline Ambassadors of Bosom Preservation. And then told me, “start the car, Mama, we’re late for justice.” That’s when I knew this wasn’t going to be a simple charity event. This was about to be a pink‑glittered, rainbow‑dipped, Southern fried spectacle.
I should’ve known something was brewing when Piper dragged my pink headwrap out the drawer like she was preparing for a sermon. In this house, when the cats start accessorizing, the ancestors start whispering. And I start praying. All I said was, “Mama’s going to a Save the Tatas event this weekend.” And suddenly my living room turned into a Southern nonprofit board meeting run entirely by felines with no credentials and too much confidence.
Piper hopped onto the coffee table like she was about to deliver the State of the Union. She had a pink bandana, a clipboard, a schedule, and the spirit of every church mother who ever said, “Baby, let me tell you something.” She cleared her throat and announced,
Piper: “Mama, I’ve prepared a keynote speech titled ‘Blessed Are the Bosoms.’”
Me: “Piper, this is a fundraiser. Not a revival.”
Piper: “Awareness is revival.”
And honestly? She had a point.
Coco came strutting in wearing a tutu she absolutely stole from the donation pile. She looked like a tiny Southern belle who’d been raised on sweet tea, glitter, and delusion.
She flipped her tail dramatically and declared,
Coco: “I will be the face of the movement.”
Me: “The face?”
She nodded like she was accepting a crown.
Coco: “Yes. I will pose. I will wink. I will inspire generosity. People give more when they feel emotionally manipulated.”
Me: “Coco, that’s not how activism works.”
Coco: “Mama, that’s exactly how activism works. Also, I need false eyelashes. Big ones. The kind that say, ‘I care deeply about the tatas.’”
I told her no. She told me I was stifling her activism.
Tinkerbell didn’t care about speeches or pageantry. She cared about the money. She dragged out a cardboard box. Slapped a pink sticker on it, and announced,
Tink: “Raffle tickets. Five dollars. Winner gets something.”
Me: “What’s the prize?”
She stared at me like I was slow.
Tink: “Mystery. Mystery is the prize.”
Me: “Tink, you can’t sell raffle tickets for a mystery box.”
Piper: “Watch me. Mama. Breast cancer awareness is no joke. I’ve prepared a speech, a slideshow, and a prayer circle outline.”
She had bullet points. She had scripture references. She had a moment of silence scheduled for 2:17 PM sharp. And she did. She sold three tickets to the neighbor’s dog before we even left the house.
We arrived at the Save the Tatas event looking like a traveling circus of pink chaos. Piper marched in first, handing out pamphlets she printed herself titled ‘Breast Health & Blessings.’ Coco immediately found the photo booth and refused to leave until she had taken 47 glamour shots. Tinkerbell set up her illegal raffle table under a tree like she was running a back‑alley fundraiser. And people loved it. One lady said, “I’ve never seen cats so passionate about breast cancer awareness.” I said, “Ma’am, they’re passionate about everything. It’s exhausting.”
During the survivor recognition ceremony, Piper tried to lead the crowd in a hymn she wrote called ‘Hold On to Your Hope and Your Hooters.’ Coco attempted to crowd‑surf. Tinkerbell tried to auction off a breast‑shaped stress ball she found in someone’s purse. I was sweating like a sinner in a sauna. But somehow the event organizers said we “brought energy.” Energy is a polite Southern word for chaos you can’t legally complain about.
At the end of the day, my cats raised $112, three cans of Fancy Feast, and a half‑used Bath & Body Works lotion someone donated out of confusion. But they also reminded me of something real. Breast cancer awareness matters. Community matters. Showing up matters. And sometimes, the loudest advocates are the ones covered in fur while wearing stolen tutus. And selling illegal raffle tickets under a magnolia tree. Bless it all.
But between the glitter, the chaos, and the illegal fundraising, something beautiful happened. People laughed, hugged, and shared stories. And the whole event felt wrapped in that warm, Southern magic. The kind where community shows up loud, proud, and covered in sequins.
My cats didn’t just show up to the Save the Tatas event. They took it over baptized it in glitter. Queered it up. And left that place looking like a breast‑health revival hosted by Dolly Parton and the entire cast of RuPaul’s Drag Race. They raised money. They raised awareness. They raised hell. And if that ain’t Southern activism, I don’t know what is.
Bless the tatas. Bless the survivors. Bless the fighters. Bless the ones we’ve lost. And bless my cats. Who have once again proved that when the cause is righteous and the vibes are gay, they will absolutely act a fool in public. Even when they’re doing the absolute most. They remind me that showing up matters. Joy matters. And community matters. Especially when it’s wearing a stolen tutu.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to sage the house again. The cats are already planning their next activism tour. And I swear I heard Coco whisper, “Mama, what’s the dress code for the next Pride‑adjacent charity event?” Go ahead and close the doors, baby. The tatas have been saved. The ancestors are tired. And this blog? Consider the mic dropped. The stage cleared. And the glitter still falling. Thanks for reading! And get a mammogram.
Affirmation: I am held, protected, and hyped by ancestors, queer angels, and three chaotic cats who believe in me more than I believe in myself.
Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. Today, I want to talk to you about a delicious little strain called Pink Certz by Apotha.
Pink Certz is a balanced hybrid that’s a cross between The Menthol x Grape Gasoline. The Menthol is a cross between Gelato 45 x White Diesel. And Grape Gasoline is a cross between Jet Fuel Gelato x Georgia Pie. This strain has a very citrusy smell and taste. And to me it tastes similar to a grapefruit.
The main terpenes are Limonene, Linalool, Caryophyllene and Endo Fenchyl. Medical benefits include relief from depression, chronic stress, anxiety, nausea, appetite loss. And reportedly, this strain works really well for Parkinson’s patients. This is not a really heavy hybrid. But it definitely hits hard with relief. Thanks for reading! Keep blazin.’
Affirmation: Nothing or nobody can stop me from blazing today.
“Listen, if Piper, Coco, and Tinkerbell can march into a medical facility like they’re auditioning for America’s Next Top Patient, then I can survive one little mammogram. Confidence is contagious. Especially when it sheds.”
-This Puzzled Life
Light the charcoal Sprinkle the sage. And pull up a chair and a heating pad. Because today we are talking about breast cancer awareness and the sacred Southern pilgrimage known as The Annual Mammogram, also known as, “The Day Your Boobs Meet the Panini Press of Destiny.”
And I am reporting live from the land of paper gowns, cold metal plates, and the annual reminder that my boobs are apparently public property for exactly 17 minutes. I walked into that imaging center feeling confident, moisturized, and blessed. And walked out looking like I’d just survived a WWE smackdown between my left titty and a hydraulic press.
Because nothing says “self‑care” like waking up at 6 a.m., chugging coffee, and driving across town to let a stranger flatten your chest like a Sunday biscuit. And listen, awareness matters. Early detection saves lives. But Lord, the way the world goes full Pepto Bismol in October with pink socks, pink yogurt lids, pink football cleats, and a pink ribbon shaped pancakes at IHOP. Meanwhile, Southern aunties everywhere are out here reminding you, “Baby, have you scheduled your mammogram yet? Don’t make me call Jesus and Blue Cross.”
You walk in. Sign your name. And immediately get handed a clipboard and a gown made from the same material as a Dollar Tree napkin. The nurse says, “Open in the front,” like you’re about to perform at the Grand Ole Opry. It’s always too short, too breezy, too confusing, and somehow both choking you and falling off your shoulders. You sit there clutching it closed like a Victorian widow.
The mammogram machine looks like something NASA built in the 80s and forgot to update. It has one job. Turn your boob into a crepe. The tech is always sweet, calm, and named something like Linda or Marsha. And she says things like, “Okay honey, just relax.” Relax? Ma’am, my nipple is currently pointing due north, and my soul has left my body.
Linda gently places your tit on the cold plate like she’s arranging a charcuterie board. Then she lowers the top plate. And lowers it. And lowers it. And keeps lowering it until your ancestors feel it. You’re standing there thinking, “Is this what a panini feels like?” “Did I pay my life insurance?” “Why is my left boob suddenly in 2D?” Linda steps back and says, “Hold your breath.” Ma’am, I haven’t breathed since the parking lot. The machine finally lets go. And your boob re-inflates like a sad balloon at a kid’s birthday party. You look down like, “Girl, you okay?” Your boob looks back like, “No.”
Piper, Coco, and Tinkerbell rolled up to their first mammograms like three tiny, furry Southern aunties who had absolutely rehearsed for this moment in the mirror. Piper marched in like she was the keynote speaker at the Breast Cancer Awareness Gala. Tail high, whiskers sharp, attitude louder than a Baptist choir. She hopped onto the check‑in counter and announced, “I’m here for my annual preventative maintenance, thank you.”
When the tech tried to hand her a paper gown, Piper sniffed it. Rolled her eyes. And said with her whole spirit, “This is polyester. I don’t do polyester.” She then attempted to operate the mammogram machine herself because “clearly no one else here has the range.”
Coco entered the building already offended. By what? Everything. The lighting. The temperature. The clipboard. The fact that she was asked to “wait her turn.” When the tech explained the process, Coco gasped like she’d been personally victimized. “EXCUSE ME?! You’re going to flatten what? These are heirlooms!” She then demanded a second opinion, a supervisor, and a snack.
Tinkerbell walked in wearing the confidence of a cat who has never once paid taxes or faced consequences. She took one look at the machine. Hissed. And then tried to climb it like it was a jungle gym. When the tech attempted to position her, Tinkerbell went limp like a toddler who doesn’t want to be picked up. Then she suddenly sprang back to life. Slapped the machine. And stole a pink ribbon off the wall like a tiny breast‑cancer‑awareness pirate. By the time it was over, the tech was sweating. The receptionist was praying. And the machine had filed for workers’ comp.
Piper strutted out like she’d just completed a TED Talk. Coco demanded her medical records “for emotional reasons.” Tinkerbell declared herself the new face of Feline Breast Health. And tried to pose for photos no one was taking. Cats dismissed. Awareness achieved. And the imaging center is now closed for spiritual repairs.
Breast cancer is real. And early detection saves lives. Because too many of our mamas, aunties, cousins, and sisters have fought this battle. Awareness isn’t just pink ribbons. It’s action. It’s appointments. It’s uncomfortable machines. It’s choosing yourself even when it’s inconvenient. And because most Southern women don’t play about two things. Jesus and preventative healthcare.
Schedule the mammogram. Wear the ugly gown. Let Linda flatten and fold your boob like a church bulletin. And walk out of that imaging center knowing you just did the bravest, squishiest thing a human can do. Laugh about it later. And remember. Your tatas are worth the trouble. And that’s the gospel truth. If surviving a mammogram doesn’t earn you a medal, parade, FIFA trophy, Nobel Peace Prize and a lifetime supply of padded bras, then society is broken beyond repair. Boobs checked. Blessings distributed.
And that, my friends, concludes this year’s episode of “Whose Boob Is It Anyway?” The only show where the points don’t matter. The machine always wins. And your nipple ends up pointing toward a constellation you’ve never heard of. Schedule the mammogram. Wear the tragic gown. Let Linda flatten you like a communion wafer. And then treat yourself to something fried. Because at the end of the day, your girls deserve to be checked, protected, and celebrated. And preferably with a bra that costs less than your car payment. Thanks for reading! Schedule your mammogram.
Affirmation: I am bold, blessed, and unbothered. My boobs, my boundaries, and my emotional support cats are all thriving. Today I face the squish with dignity, humor, and the chaotic energy of a feline who refuses to wear a paper gown.
