acceptance

darnold1975

I Was Afraid Of Being Rejected Until I…

I was afraid of being rejected
Until I learned to never reject myself

I was afraid of being abandoned
Until I learned to never abandon myself

I was afraid of the opinions of others
Until I learned that they held no more weight than my own

I was afraid of painful endings
Until I realised that they were
also new beginnings

I was afraid of appearing weak
Until I realised how strong
I truly was

I was afraid of being seen as
small and unimportant
Until I discovered my
true power and potential

I was afraid of being
perceived as ugly
Until I learned to fully
appreciate my own beauty

I was afraid of failure
Until I learned that
it was an illusion
When viewed through
the eyes of love,
growth and learning

I was afraid of feeling low
Until I learned that it was
the birthplace of brilliance
And where my greatest
transformation occurred

I was afraid of change
Until I realised it was an
inevitable part of life
In a world full of things
temporary and fleeting

I was afraid of being alone
Until I learned to fully embrace
and appreciate my own company

I was afraid of my uniqueness
Until I learned that it was
where my greatness lay

I was afraid of the darkness
Until I remembered that I was the light

And I was afraid of life
Until I remembered who I was.

-Tahlia Hunter

**Don’t forget to watch the video!**

#Thispuzzledlife

darnold1975

Life Lessons #2

“The greatest lessons are often learned from our failures, for they teach us strength, humility and resilience.”

-Unknown

Light charcoal. Light sage. Negative energy go away! Ok. Now I’m starting to get balanced. Sometimes the blogs I write are heavy. There is absolutely no way to tell you about trauma that makes it appear cute and sweet. That stuff is just horribly ugly. What I do have are stories about the boys and other fiascos of life. What I do need to fill you in on is where I left off 4 years ago. I’m hoping that you were able to take something from the last post. Use what you can use and leave the rest.

1.  There is a God, I am not him.

2.  Don’t become complacent in living. It will make you comfortable with dying.

3.  Pride is just as dangerous as gluttony.

4.  Perfection is not possible.

5.  Religion should never be used as a weapon.

6.  The beauty of living in a free nation is being able to have your own views and opinions. No one’s experiences in life happen and affect us in the same exact way.

7.  Never settle for average. Expect extraordinary.

8.  Sometimes people love you for exactly who you are regardless of gender, age, education, religion, profession, political affiliation or sexuality.

9.  PTSD does not only occur in soldiers.

10. Parenting is the most difficult job that has ever been.

11.  Late 1970s and 1980s provided some of the best comedy called “Low budget horror movies.”

12.  Teach them. Guide them. Love them. And watch as the miracle unfolds.

13.  Some people are wolves in sheep’s clothing. Be ready, willing and able to take cover. They will unintentionally reveal this to you.

14.  Only Jesus was perfect. We will never be.

15.   Everyone should be in therapy. 

“Never let life lessons harden your heart; the hard lessons of life are meant to make you better, not bitter.”

-Roy T. Bennett

#Thispuzzledlife

darnold1975

I Am Enough

I AM Enough

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.”
—Melody Beattie

I’ve spoken recently about a shift that has taken place. And I truly believe that it’s because all the hard work that I’ve done in therapy is finally paying off. I’m learning how to do something that I’ve never been able to do…. Love myself. This process is one that is not easy but necessary. I’ve always been tormented by my trauma and a chaotic system which led to self-hatred.
This self-hatred then bled out into every part of my life especially relationships. But I’m learning to forgive myself for these things and the weight of the world is being lifted from my shoulders and, in turn, given me a sense of peace. I can’t explain how it feels but it’s evidence that I’m healing.

When you go through trauma you develop survival instincts. These behaviors are not always healthy, but they help you to survive. Me and coach have spent many hours working on developing a new way of living. I told her recently that it feels like I’ve just walked through hell with gasoline draws on and it’s the truth. I had to do the work and hold on until the miracle happened and it finally did. I still have days and moments that are difficult, but I can see a better tomorrow only getting better.

You are enough

All the hateful messages that were taught to me by my perpetrators have been replace by positive affirmations about my capabilities. I don’t just say them. I believe and practice them in all areas of my life. Processing the trauma along with the affirmations have prepared me to make this move back to Mississippi in order to be a healthier mom for my children and for me. What I’ve had to learn is how to accept myself and to be comfortable just being me.
This has truly been a long and will continue to be a process. I have done it. And I’m doing it. I’m loving myself without reservations. I’m also forgiving myself for things I’ve done and how in my sickness I’ve treated people. Some of those relationships have made it and some haven’t. But I know now that I will be ok. Because I am enough just being me.
#thispuzzledlife