When Piper announced she “might have DID” and started paw-dialing my therapy coach like she had insurance and a co-pay, Tinkerbell and Coco called an emergency feline intervention faster than a Mississippi church committee spotting scandal. I live with actual, trauma-born Dissociative Identity Disorder, sacred, complex, hard-earned healing work. Piper simply forgot why she walked into the room and decided it was a clinical event. According to her, being sweet, spicy, and occasionally feral counts as “multiple personalities.” According to Coco, it counts as “Too Much Drama Disorder.” Between Tinkerbell chairing the meeting. Coco delivering side-eye verdicts. And Piper insisting she’s buffering instead of daydreaming. I realized something. My internal system may be layered and therapeutic. But the cats handle drama like they’re auditioning for Real Housewives of the Litter Box. Somebody had to take the phone away from Piper before she schedules herself an evaluation.