He Is Risen. And So Is My Blood Pressure Watching Christians Misquote Scripture Again

“If Jesus didn’t need help rising from the dead, He definitely doesn’t need help judging His children.”

-This Puzzled Life

 Let the ancestors lean in. And the nonsense scatter like roaches when the kitchen light flips on. I’m clearing the air. Clearing my spirit. And clearing out anybody who came in here with judgmental energy, weaponized scripture, or a Facebook theology degree. Today we’re telling the truth with love, humor, and just enough Southern heat to make the devil fan himself.

Every year, Easter rolls around and suddenly half the conservative Christians in the South start acting like they’ve been personally hired by Jesus HR to conduct performance reviews on the entire population. They show up to church in pastel outfits so loud they could blind a deacon armed with judgment, casserole, and a Bible verse they skimmed once during Vacation Bible School in 1994.

Meanwhile, Jesus is over here like, “I rose from the dead to bring hope and liberation. Not to watch y’all turn my message into a neighborhood watch program for people who don’t look, love, or live like you.” But bless their hearts. They really believe Easter is about policing everyone else’s salvation. Like Jesus outsourced His job to a committee of pearl‑clutchers with Wi‑Fi.

Easter is supposed to be the celebration of renewal, liberation, and radical compassion. He was a man who literally washed feet. Fed strangers. And hung out with the outcasts. And provided a message of hope for the poor, the hungry, the immigrant, the traumatized, the eccentric, the ethnically diverse, and the folks society shoved to the margins.

Jesus was the original “bring everybody to the table” host. He didn’t ask for dress codes, doctrinal purity, or a background check. He said, “Come as you are.” And meant it. Not “Come as you are, unless Brenda doesn’t approve of your haircut.”

Somewhere along the way, though, a whole crowd of folks decided Jesus needed personal judges. A volunteer morality police. A neighborhood watch for rainbow flags. A holiness HOA. A spiritual TSA checkpoint. And they signed up like it was a Black Friday sale.

They twist His words like balloon animals. Weaponize scripture like it’s a Nerf gun. And act like Jesus is running a multi‑level marketing scheme where the top sellers get a crown and a parking spot in heaven. They weaponize His teachings against LGBTQIA+ folks, immigrants, people of color, the poor, or anyone who doesn’t fit their “approved” mold.

And then they have the audacity, the sheer sanctified audacity, to say they’re doing it “in Jesus’ name.” Jesus didn’t ask for helpers. He didn’t post a job listing for “Assistant Judge. An unpaid internship where you must hate fun.” If anything, he said the opposite such as, “Sit down. Be humble. Love people. And stop acting like you’re the CEO of Heaven’s HR department.”

Let’s talk about the rainbow for a second. Conservative Christians love to act like the rainbow was stolen, borrowed, or misused by queer folks. Jesus made the rainbow. The gays just accessorized it better. And queer folks are honoring the original design with more creativity, joy, and community than the people who claim ownership of it. If Jesus didn’t want the rainbow to be a symbol of diversity, unity, and hope, he wouldn’t have made it look like the world’s happiest flag.

Jesus was pro‑poor, pro‑immigrant, pro‑outcast, pro‑community, pro‑healing, pro‑inclusion, and pro‑“stop being hateful and go feed somebody.” He was the original DEI ( Diversity, Equity, Inclusion) department. Long before corporate America slapped it on a PowerPoint slide. He didn’t need a committee. He didn’t need a board vote. He didn’t need a church newsletter. He just did the work.

Christians love to toss around the phrase “hate the sin, love the sinner” like it fell straight out of Jesus’ mouth and onto a Hobby Lobby wall sign. But it did not. That line is nowhere in the Bible. Not in Genesis. Not in Psalms. Not in Leviticus. And not even hidden in the fine print of Revelation. The idea is loosely connected to Christian teachings. Sure. The actual phrase traces back to St. Augustine of Hippo in 424 AD. And it didn’t get its modern glow‑up until Mahatma Gandhi repeated a version of it centuries later. So, if folks want to use it, fine. But let’s stop pretending it’s scripture when it’s clearly not. As one source puts it, the exact phrase simply isn’t in the Bible (Catholic.com, 2026). In other words, quit assigning Jesus quotes he never said. Especially when they’re being used as a permission slip for judgment.

This Easter, let’s remember what actually happened. A brown, Middle‑Eastern, homeless, anti‑authoritarian healer rose from the dead to liberate humanity. Not to give conservative Christians a seasonal excuse to cosplay as Heaven’s security guards. Easter is about resurrection. Not regulation. Liberation. Not legislation. Compassion. Not condemnation.

If Jesus wanted personal judges, he would’ve hired them. Instead, he told everybody to love their neighbor and mind their business. Let’s celebrate Easter the way Jesus intended. With open arms, hearts, tables, and absolutely no volunteer applications for Assistant Judge of the Universe. He’s got that job covered. And the rainbow says the gays are doing just fine. Thanks for reading! Stay spiritually focus instead of judgmental.

Affirmation: I walk in the kind of love, compassion, and radical inclusion Jesus actually taught. Not the edited, fear‑based version some folks try to pass off as scripture.

***Don’t forget to watch the video!***

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Child Abuse Awareness: When Safety Was a Lie and Silence Was the Rule

“Child abuse doesn’t lose its cruelty just because it hides in a small town, a school hallway, a church pew, or any place adults pretend is safe. The truth is simple. Harm is harm. And its echoes outlive every secret kept to protect the wrong people.”

-This Puzzled Life

Light the candles. Hide the breakables. Tell the ancestors we’re not sugarcoating anything this month. And somebody hold your childhood diary. Because it’s Child Abuse Awareness Month. My internal system is doing the emotional equivalent of a protest march. While my cats are organizing a full‑blown intervention in the laundry basket.

Piper opened the morning by knocking over a framed photo of my childhood and announcing, “This energy is off.” Coco dragged a blanket into the hallway like she was staging a reenactment of emotional neglect. And Tinkerbell, the voice of clarity with zero tolerance for dysfunction, sat on the windowsill and whispered, “We don’t protect abusers here.” And they’re right.

This month isn’t about tiptoeing around secrets. It’s about naming what happened. Honoring the children who survived. And refusing to let silence win. It’s not about polite conversations. It’s about truth. It’s about healing. It’s about refusing to let ignorance dress up as tradition.

It’s about the children who were told to “respect their elders.” While those elders, both in their homes and communities, disrespected their humanity. It’s about the survivors who still flinch when someone says, “family first.” And the ones whose abuse didn’t happen in their family at all. It happened in schools, churches, programs, and institutions that were supposed to protect them. It’s about the ones who were gaslit. Scapegoated. Silenced. And then told they were “too sensitive.”

And let’s be very clear about the fact that ignorance is no longer a valid excuse for misunderstanding abuse. Education exists. Compassion exists. If someone chooses denial over growth, that’s not confusion. That’s commitment to dysfunction.

Has anyone ever been told, “That wasn’t abuse. It was just discipline”? Ah yes, the classic Southern remix of denial. If I had a dollar for every time someone said, “Well, my parents hit me and I turned out fine.” I’d have enough money to fund a national trauma‑education tour complete with snacks, therapy dogs, and a PowerPoint titled “Fine Is Not a Personality.”

Intent doesn’t erase impact. You can mean well and still cause harm. You can love someone and still traumatize them. And if your version of love includes fear, shame, manipulation, or control, it’s not love. It’s a power imbalance with a decorative throw pillow.

And then there’s the classic statement, “That was a long time ago.” So was slavery. So was the invention of mayonnaise. We still talk about both. Time doesn’t heal what’s never been acknowledged. Trauma doesn’t expire just because the calendar flipped.

This month, I light candles for the child I was. For the children still living in fear. For the adults still trying to make sense of it. For the truth that refuses to stay buried. For the ones who were told they were “too sensitive.” When they were actually just emotionally literate.

And for the cats who remind me daily that boundaries are sacred. Naps are healing. And knocking over symbols of dysfunction is a legitimate coping skill. So, if you came here for comfort, grab a weighted blanket and a snack. We’re lighting candles for the truth and the truth doesn’t whisper.

Let’s be crystal clear about something. Ignorance is no longer a valid excuse for misunderstanding abuse. We have books. We have therapists. We have podcasts, articles, survivors, and entire systems screaming for change. If someone chooses denial over education, silence over accountability, and tradition over truth. That’s not confusion. That’s complicity. And we don’t protect dysfunction here. We name it. We heal from it. We build something better. Because the truth is staying.

And this is the part nobody wants to talk about. But I’m going to do it anyway. And since we’re telling the truth about this month, let me go ahead and say the part that makes people shift uncomfortably in their church pews and PTA meetings is that I wasn’t abused at home. I was abused at school. The place where children are supposedly “safe.”

Yes, the institution covered in inspirational posters about kindness and responsibility. Yes, the adults who were trained. Certified. And paid to protect children. Yes, the environment where parents assume their kids are supervised by people with functioning moral compasses. Turns out, though, perpetrators don’t check IDs at the door. They don’t limit themselves to “bad homes.” They show up wherever power goes unchecked. Which include classrooms and government.

And the tactics used against me? Let’s just say they were the kind of psychological warfare that could flatten most adults. Much less a child who still believed recess was the highlight of the day. The cruelty was calculated. The gaslighting was Olympic‑level. The humiliation was public. And the message was clear “You don’t matter.”

That’s the part people don’t want to hear. It ruins their tidy narratives about “good schools” and “trusted educators.” It forces them to confront the uncomfortable truth that abuse doesn’t need a broken home. It just needs an adult who knows they can get away with it.

And the damage? It didn’t stay in childhood. It built an unstable foundation that I had to grow up on like trying to build a life on emotional quicksand. The scars left a crater in my soul. And it was one filled with conflicting messages. Their responsibilities as adults versus the impossible responsibilities they shoved onto me as a child. Their power versus my powerlessness. Their choices versus my survival.

And no matter how many years pass or how many therapy hours I stack up like emotional frequent‑flyer miles, the wound still carries a vivid truth. I didn’t choose. I was forced to decipher safety was an illusion. Adults weren’t always protectors. And when I screamed for help, no one heard me. So, I did what children do when every exit is blocked. I survived. Not because I was strong. But because I had no other option.

And if anyone wants to dismiss that with, “Well, that was a long time ago.” I invite them to sit down. Hydrate. And stop embarrassing themselves. Trauma doesn’t expire like a coupon. It stays. It shapes. It echoes. And the message I was left to decode? The one carved into my childhood like a warning label was painfully simple. I didn’t matter to the people who were supposed to protect me.

And before anyone tries to twist the conversation into knots, let’s make something unmistakably clear. It doesn’t matter where the abuse happens. A small‑town public school with a football‑field budget and a gossip‑mill PTA. A home that looks picture‑perfect from the outside. A religious school hiding behind scripture. A church where adults confuse authority with immunity. A state‑sponsored facility that claims to “rehabilitate.” Or the most infamous island on the planet.

Abuse is abuse. Location doesn’t soften the crime. Power doesn’t excuse it. Silence doesn’t erase it. And the impact doesn’t stop with the child who endured it. It echoes. It spreads. It roots itself in families, communities, and generations that follow. When a child is harmed, the wound doesn’t stay in childhood. It becomes a legacy. One that survivors spend years, sometimes lifetimes, trying to rewrite. No matter how hard people try to hide it. Minimize it. Or dress it up in excuses. The truth stands firm. Child abuse is a crime. And its mark lasts far longer than the lies told to cover it.

Let’s just go ahead and say the quiet part loudly. Child abuse doesn’t just happen in “bad homes.” It happens anywhere adults hold power and children are expected to stay silent. Including the places that swear they exist to protect them.

What happened to me wasn’t a misunderstanding. It wasn’t “discipline.” It wasn’t a “tough lesson.” It was abuse that was carried out by adults who weaponized authority and abandoned their responsibility the moment it became inconvenient. And the fallout wasn’t small. It shaped my future. It rewired my trust. It carved a crater in my soul that therapy can help me navigate. But will never pretend didn’t exist.

The message I was forced to decode as a child through cruelty, gaslighting, humiliation, and silence was that I didn’t matter. Here’s the part they never planned for. I matter now. My voice matters now. And I’m telling the truth they hoped I’d never survive long enough to speak. Their power ends where my truth begins. Silence only ever protected them, not me. Thanks for reading! And protect children.

Affirmation: My truth matters. My voice matters. I honor the child who survived what no child should face. And I rise today with the strength of someone who refuses to carry silence that never belonged to me.

***Don’t forget to watch the video!***

#ThisPuzzledLife

You Can’t Pray the Gay Away, But You Sure Can Expose the Hypocrisy: A Southern Queer Survival Guide

“If your faith requires someone else to suffer, it’s not holy. It’s just dressed‑up cruelty.”

-This Puzzled Life

Light the charcoal. Apparently the courts woke up. Stretched. Sipped their Folgers and said, “Hmm. What if we brought back psychological torture today?” And the conservative Christians said, “YAY! Revival!” Meanwhile, every queer person in the South is standing on their porch like, “Lord, give me strength, patience, and a Xanax the size of a biscuit.”

Down here in Mississippi, we know hypocrisy like we know humidity. It clings. It suffocates. It ruins your hair and your spirit at the same time. And nothing brings out the hypocrisy quite like a ruling that says, “Sure, go ahead and traumatize queer people in the name of Jesus. He won’t mind.” These folks will tell you with a straight face that they’re doing this out of “love.” If that’s love, then I’m a straight man named Bubba who drives a lifted truck and says “bro” every six seconds.

Let’s be honest. This ruling isn’t about saving souls. It’s about controlling bodies. It’s about punishing difference. It’s about making queer people small enough to fit inside their narrow theology and even narrower worldview. And the wildest part? These are the same people who can’t keep their own households together. The same people who preach “traditional marriage” while living like a deleted storyline from a messy reality show. The same people who scream “protect the children!” While ignoring the actual dangers children face like abuse, exploitation, and the youth pastor who keeps volunteering for overnight trips.

But sure. Let’s focus on the gays. Because we’re clearly the problem. Not the pastors who keep getting “relocated.” Not the lawmakers who can’t keep their pants zipped. Not the “family values” influencers who spend more time in hotel rooms than in prayer.

Let me break it down in terms even a conservative uncle can understand. You cannot convert someone out of being gay. You cannot shame someone out of being gay. You cannot therapy someone out of being gay. You cannot “deliverance session” someone out of being gay. Unless the only thing you’re delivering is trauma.

If sexuality were a choice, don’t you think I would’ve chosen something easier? Something with less paperwork? Something that didn’t require me to explain myself at every family gathering like I’m giving a TED Talk in a Cracker Barrel? But no. God made me like this. Curved, colorful, and incapable of pretending otherwise.

You could dangle 45 sets of dangly bits in front of me like a clearance sale at Spencer’s Gifts and I still wouldn’t be straight. But put me in front of some boobs and a cooter cat and suddenly I’m glowing like a porch light in July. That’s not a choice. That’s not a phase. That’s not a “lifestyle.” That’s divine architecture.

If you want to stay in the closet because it feels safer, I get it. But don’t pretend it’s holiness. Don’t pretend it’s righteousness. Don’t pretend it’s “God’s plan.” It’s fear. And fear is the currency of conservative Christianity. I sprinted out of the closet like it was on fire. And I’ve been free ever since. Even with my own family members who weaponize scripture like it’s a Nerf gun filled with shame. I send that mess right back to sender with a smile and a boundary. Chosen family is where the love lives. Chosen family is where the truth lives. Chosen family is where the rainbow was always meant to shine.

Theo rainbow is divine reassurance. It’s God saying, “Relax. I made y’all fabulous on purpose.” No court ruling can change that. No pastor can change that. No conversion therapist with a clipboard and a superiority complex can change that. We are here. We are queer. We are not going anywhere. And we are not apologizing for existing.

So let the smoke rise like a prayer the evangelicals forgot to proofread. Stand tall in your queerness like a magnolia tree that refuses to bow to the storm. Because here’s the truth they don’t want to face. Every time they try to erase us. We multiply. Every time they try to shame us. We shine harder. Every time they try to legislate us out of existence. We become louder, brighter, and more unbothered than ever.

Their hypocrisy is loud. But our joy is louder. Their cruelty is sharp. But our resilience is sharper. Their fear is deep. But our love is deeper. And at the end of the day, when the court rulings fade. When the sermons lose their sting. When the shame campaigns collapse under their own weight. We will still be here laughing. Loving. Living. Thriving. Dancing in the rainbow God hung in the sky as a reminder that storms don’t last forever.

So let them clutch their pearls. Let them scream about “family values.” Let them pretend their closets don’t have motion‑activated lights. We know the truth. You damn sure cannot stop the rainbow from rising. Mic dropped. Floor cracked. Hypocrisy exposed. Amen and pass the sweet tea. Thanks for reading! And Happy Pride year-round. What are your thoughts on this type of ruling?

Affirmation: “My identity is divine. My joy is sacred. And no court, church, or closet can dim the rainbow God put in my soul.”

***Don’t forget to watch the video!!!

#ThisPuzzledLife

The Day My Cats Tried to Save Democracy 

“If my cats can overthrow the monarchy before breakfast, I can certainly survive one more day of America acting like it’s run by people who failed the group project of life.”

-This Puzzled Life

Light the charcoal. Apparently my cats have decided that today is the day they overthrow monarchy, tyranny, and anyone who tries to tell them the treat bag is “empty.” The sun isn’t even up yet. Piper’s already in her frog costume. Coco’s packing snacks like she’s fleeing a collapsing empire. And Tinkerbell is proofreading protest signs with the judgment of a retired Supreme Court justice who’s seen too much. If you hear chanting, don’t worry that’s just my household preparing for the next No Kings protest. Which according to Piper, is “mandatory for all mammals with a functioning spine.” Nothing says “grassroots uprising” like a grill going before sunrise. And three cats stretching like they’re about to reenact the Boston Tea Party with Meow Mix.

Piper showed up in her Portland Frog Costume. Because nothing intimidates tyrants like an amphibious icon with a gas problem. She hopped onto the cooler like it was a podium and declared, “NO KINGS IN AMERICA! ALSO, WHO TOOK MY STRING?” Her sign was bigger than she is. Her confidence was bigger than Mississippi humidity. She crop-dusted the entire left flank of the protest within minutes. Which honestly dispersed the crowd faster than any riot police ever could. A legend.

Coco marched with the energy of a cat who believes deeply in democracy. But more deeply in the possibility of someone dropping a chicken tender. Her sign read, “I Am Antifa (And Also Hungry).” She wasn’t sure what ANTIFA meant, but she was 100% certain it involved snacks and possibly knocking over a fascist’s drink. At one point she tried to unionize the protestors into a collective bargaining unit for “More Breaks. More Snacks. Less Nonsense.” Honestly, she had a point.

Tinkerbell arrived last. She was wearing the expression of a cat who has seen too much. Knows too much. And is tired of everyone else’s foolishness. Her sign was simple and elegant. “RELEASE THE EPSTEIN FILES!” She held it like she was presenting evidence to the Supreme Court. Every time someone asked her a question, she blinked slowly like, “Sweetheart, I was radical before you were born.” She also confiscated Coco’s third snack bag “for misuse of resources.” Which caused a minor internal revolt. She quelled it with one hiss. A queen ironically at a No Kings protest.

The cats strutted down the street like a furry constitutional crisis. Piper led chants that sounded like “Reeeeow No Kings.” Coco kept trying to start a drum circle using two empty Fancy Feast cans. And Tinkerbell corrected everyone’s grammar on their signs At one point, Piper climbed a mailbox and declared it “The People’s Mailbox,” which is now apparently a sovereign nation. Coco tried to annex it. Tinkerbell vetoed the annexation. Democracy was in action.

As the sun set, the cats gathered on the hood of my vehicle like they were about to drop the hottest protest mixtape of 2026. Piper croaked (frog costume still on): “We Will Return!” Coco added, “With Snacks!” And Tinkerbell concluded, “And Better Signage.” And just like that, they dispersed into the night.  Three revolutionaries leaving behind pawprints, chaos, and the faint smell of grilled chicken.

Now, according to neighborhood gossip. And one extremely dramatic Facebook post from Brenda‑with‑the‑Bible‑Verse‑Profile‑Picture. The “red hat crowd” was supposed to show up and “defend traditional values” at the No Kings protest. They did not show up. Not a single one. Not a hat. Not a slogan. Not even a rogue uncle wandering around confused because he clicked the wrong event on Facebook.

Piper kept scanning the horizon like she was waiting for a final boss battle. Coco had snacks ready for the confrontation. Tinkerbell had a whole speech prepared titled “Sit Down, Sweetheart. You’re Embarrassing Yourself.”

But the red hats? Silent. Invisible. Absent like a dad in a country song. Turns out it’s real easy to talk tough on the internet and real hard to argue with a frog‑costumed cat holding a sign that says “NO KINGS. NO TYRANTS. NO LITTERBOX MONARCHY.”

While the red hats were busy not attending, the Pride crowd rolled in like a glitter‑powered cavalry. The drag queens arrived first. Heels clicking. Wigs defying gravity. Storybooks in hand like they were about to read “Goodnight Moon” and dismantle generational prejudice in one sitting. One queen read a children’s book about kindness so sweet it could’ve cured diabetes. A conservative Christian woman gasped like she’d just witnessed a felony. Piper whispered, “You can’t catch gay from a storybook, Brenda.” and honestly, she wasn’t wrong.

Then came the trans community glowing, gorgeous, and radiating the kind of authenticity that makes insecure people break out in hives. Tinkerbell watched them walk by and said, “Now that is commitment to the bit.” Coco tried to follow them because she thought they had snacks. She was wrong. But they still gave her a hug. A small cluster of conservative Christians stood off to the side holding signs like, “Think of the children!”, “God hates glitter!”, and “Traditional families only!”

Meanwhile, the actual children were on the drag queen float screaming “SLAYYYYYY” and asking for stickers. One man muttered, “This is indoctrination.” Sir your church has a puppet ministry. Relax. A drag queen sprinkled him with holy glitter and said, “Go in peace, my child. And maybe go to therapy.” Tinkerbell nodded approvingly.

Somewhere between Piper declaring the mailbox a sovereign nation. And Tinkerbell threatening to cite a conservative Christian for “excessive pearl‑clutching.” I had to step back and spark up. Not for recreation. This was medicinal survival. A harm‑reduction strategy for the soul. There is nothing that counteracts the stupidity and hypocrisy of the world like a smooth inhale and the realization that drag queens reading storybooks are somehow “dangerous.” Trans folks living their truth are “controversial.” And grown adults in red hats are terrified of glitter. But not, apparently, of their own search histories.

I lit that joint like it was sage. I smoked it like I was cleansing the air of nonsense. I exhaled like I was releasing every Facebook argument Brenda has ever typed in all caps. Meanwhile, my cats watched me like I was performing a sacred ritual. Piper nodded solemnly as if to say, “Good. You’ll need that.” Coco asked if weed came in cat snack form. It does not. She was devastated. Tinkerbell simply blinked the way elders do when they’ve seen this cycle of foolishness repeat since the dawn of time.

And honestly? The weed helped. It softened the edges of the hypocrisy. Made the contradictions easier to laugh at. And reminded me that queer joy, trans authenticity, drag queen brilliance, and cat‑led rebellion is its own form of protest. Sometimes you don’t smoke to escape the world. Sometimes you smoke to stay in it without losing your mind. And on that day? The world was lucky I had a lighter. And I smoked it so reality would stop acting like it was raised by wolves and homeschooled by social media.

And that’s how my cats almost started a revolution before lunchtime. Piper’s tutu is crooked.Coco’s pockets are full of contraband chicken nuggets. And Tinkerbell is filing a formal complaint against “everyone born after 2010.” The protest signs are crooked. The chants are off-key. And the mailbox is now a sovereign nation with Piper as its self-appointed amphibious president. And my cats are still convinced they personally saved America from monarchy.

That’s the moment my household realized the revolution doesn’t need permission slips, red hats, or anyone clutching pearls so hard they leave dents. It just needs a frog‑costumed chaos. A snack‑drunk anarchist. And a dignified elder cat who can silence a whole crowd with one blink.

While the red hats stayed home polishing their Facebook arguments, the drag queens read storybooks. The trans folks showed up in full radiant truth. And the queer community brought enough joy to power the grid. Meanwhile, the conservative Christians tried to pray the glitter away. But honey glitter is eternal. My cats marched anyway. My household stood anyway.  And if that bothers anybody? Well,  that sounds like a you problem, sweetheart. Thanks for reading! And All Power To The People!

Affirmation: “I honor my peace, protect my joy, and let my cats lead the revolution while I stay hydrated, medicated, and unbothered by fools.”

I’m ***Don’t forget to watch the video!***

#ThisPuzzledLife

No Kings: We Rise Loud. We Rise Messy. We Rise Anyway.

“I don’t need a crown to know my worth. I’ve survived too much to bow now.”

-This Puzzled Life, Patron Saint of Showing Up Anyway

 Light the charcoal, because apparently the nation has decided we’re doing this again. Another No Kings Protest. Another day where half the country shows up with handmade signs. The other half shows up with folding chairs, and everyone collectively agrees that monarchy is for fairy tales, not for a country where we can’t even agree on how to pronounce “pecan.”

I woke up this morning to the sound of my neighbor yelling, “Who took my sharpie?!” Which is how you know democracy is alive and well in the Deep South. Nothing says civic engagement like a grown man in pajama pants sprinting across the yard holding a poster board that says, “No Crowns, Just Accountability.” Bless it. 

Every No Kings protest starts the same way. Someone burns the first batch of hot dogs. Someone else insists they “know a shortcut.” And a third person is already crying because they forgot sunscreen and emotional stability at home. Meanwhile, I’m in the kitchen trying to pack snacks like I’m preparing for a Category 5 hurricane instead of a march. Because if there’s one thing I know about Southern protests, it is that you will get hungry and sweaty. And someone will absolutely try to hand you a pamphlet you did not ask for.

We arrive at the protest. Immediately I’m hit with the smell of sunscreen and determination. And at least three people who definitely pregamed with boxed wine. There’s always one person with a megaphone who has no business having a megaphone. Today it’s a woman named Sheila who keeps yelling, “NO KINGS. NO CROWNS. NO NONSENSE.” Even though she’s wearing a Burger King paper crown she claims is “ironic.” Sure, Sheila. Sure.

Then there’s the guy who brought a drum. There is always a drum. And he always hits it off‑beat like he’s trying to summon democracy from the dead. But the signs. Oh, the signs. They’re the emotional core of the whole thing:

  • “NO KINGS. WE ALREADY HAVE ENOUGH FAMILY DRAMA.”
  • “DEMOCRACY: MESSY BUT MINE.”
  • “I’M JUST HERE BECAUSE MY THERAPIST SAID, ‘USE YOUR OUTSIDE VOICE.’”

I saw one that said, “NO KINGS. NO GODS. JUST VOTERS.” And I swear I felt my ancestors nod.

Somewhere between the chanting, sweating and the existential dread, it hits me. We’re not out here because it’s fun. We’re out here because we’re tired. Tired of being talked over. Tired of being dismissed. Tired of watching people in power act like the rest of us are NPCs in their personal video game.

We’re out here because we know what silence costs. We’re out here because someone has to be loud. We’re out here because our kids deserve better than whatever this political Jenga tower is.

At one point, a man tripped over a cooler and yelled, “This is why we can’t have a king. We can’t even have a cordless microphone.” A toddler held up a sign that said “NO” because that’s all they could write. And honestly it was the most accurate message of the day. When the wind blew everyone’s posters backward, we all looked like we were protesting ourselves. Which honestly felt spiritually correct. There is nothing quite as unintentionally hilarious as a conservative Christian explaining the world to you with the confidence of someone who has never once questioned their own Wi‑Fi password.

These are the same folks who will look you dead in the eye and say things like:

  • “We don’t believe in kings.” While simultaneously worshipping any man with a microphone and a Bible verse taped to his podium.
  • “We’re persecuted.” While standing in a Hobby Lobby the size of a small airport.
  • “We’re just defending traditional values.” Which apparently include casseroles, judgment, and pretending not to see their own family drama.

They say it all with the sincerity of a toddler handing you a drawing of a dinosaur that looks like a potato. They mean well. They just don’t land the plane.

My personal favorite is when they try to explain why they’re against something they’ve never actually experienced. “You know, I just don’t agree with that lifestyle.” Which lifestyle, Brenda? The one you saw on a Facebook meme posted by a woman named “Patriots4Jesus1776?” Or the one you’ve never actually talked to a real human about?

And then there’s the classic, “I’m not judging, I’m just saying.” If you have to announce you’re not judging, you’re already halfway to the potluck with a casserole dish full of judgment and shredded cheese.

But the funniest part that makes me laugh so hard I need to sit down is how they always think they’re delivering some profound truth. Like they’re dropping wisdom from Mount Sinai when really they’re just repeating something their cousin Earl said at Thanksgiving between bites of deviled eggs.

So, here’s the thing, y’all. We don’t need crowns. We don’t need thrones. And we sure don’t need anybody trying to cosplay as royalty in a country that can barely keep the Wi‑Fi stable during a thunderstorm. We’ve got our voices. We’ve got our people. We’ve got our stubborn, sweaty, snack‑powered determination. And if anybody’s still confused about where we stand? We stand right here loud. Unbothered. Unbowed. And reminding the nation that the only thing we kneel for is tying our shoes.

By the end of the day, my feet hurt. And my soul felt like it had been wrung out like a dish rag. But the charcoal was still warm. The people were still loud. And the message was still clear.  No kings. No crowns. No giving up.

We may be messy, sweaty, snack‑dependent chaos gremlins. But we show up. We show up for each other. We show up for the future. We show up because silence is a luxury we don’t have. And we’ll keep showing up with charcoal lit. Signs crooked. Hearts wide open until the message sticks.

We joke about protesting like it’s America’s new weekend sport. But the truth underneath isn’t funny at all. We’re living through corruption stacked sky‑high. Child‑abuse coverups that should’ve shattered entire systems. Foreign intelligence games happening in plain sight. ICE acting like a secret police force. Free speech under attack. Minority communities scapegoated on repeat. Billionaires treating democracy like a clearance sale. And someone out here fantasizing about the East Wing like it’s a tyrant starter kit.

And the loudest danger of all is White Nationalism. It’s cruelty dressed up as Christianity. Cheered on by conservative Christians who swear it’s holy because someone slapped Jesus’ name on it. We laugh to stay human. But we protest because the danger is real. Thanks for reading! There Are No Kings In America!

Affirmation: Today I stand loud, steady, and unshakeable. I honor my voice, my boundaries, and my fire. I refuse to shrink for anyone who benefits from my silence. I rise because I can, and I keep rising because I’m built for more than fear.

***Don’t forget to watch the video!***

#ThisPuzzledLife

Science, Snacks, and Sass: The Feline Takeover of Drug & Alcohol Facts Week

“Facts don’t care about feelings, but feelings care deeply about snacks.”

 — The Feline Public Health Department

 Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. It’s National Drug & Alcohol Facts Week. My cats have decided they are the official spokes‑animals for science, safety, and whatever chaos they can stir up before breakfast. Welcome back to This Puzzled Life. Where the trauma is seasoned. The humor is medicinal. And the cats are convinced they’re running a public health campaign.

Piper busts into the room wearing a lab coat three sizes too big.

“Mother, did you know the National Institute on Drug Abuse says misinformation spreads faster than I can knock a cup off the counter?” (Which is fast. Very fast.)

Source: National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA)  “National Drug & Alcohol Facts Week” https://nida.nih.gov.

Coco is dragging a bag of snacks like she’s smuggling contraband. 

“I’m here to talk about addiction. But first, do we have chips? Because the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism says alcohol affects judgment. And I’m about to make a bad decision if you don’t hand over the Doritos.”

Source: National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA) “Alcohol’s Effects on the Body” https://niaaa.nih.gov.

Tinkerbell is sitting on the highest shelf like a judgmental librarian.

“Actually, according to the CDC, substance use can affect brain development. Especially in teens. Which is why I supervise the boys. They need guidance. And snacks. Mostly snacks.”

Source: Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC)  “Substance Use and Youth” https://cdc.gov.

Here are a few clean, accurate, all‑ages‑appropriate facts from reputable organizations:

1. Alcohol affects every organ in the body.

Source: NIAAA  Alcohol’s Effects on the Body https://niaaa.nih.gov.

2. Most teens who misuse substances get their information from peers, not professionals.

Source: NIDA National Drug & Alcohol Facts Week https://nida.nih.gov.

3. Substance use can impact brain development into the mid‑20s.

Source: CDC Substance Use and Youth https://cdc.gov.

4. Addiction is a medical condition. Not a moral failure.

Source: Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) https://samhsa.gov.

Piper’s Lesson: “Drugs don’t magically make problems disappear. That’s what naps are for.”

Coco’s Lesson: “Alcohol slows reaction time. Which is why I don’t drink. I must remain ready to sprint toward any dropped food.”

Tinkerbell’s Lesson: “Knowledge is power. And power is knowing where the treats are hidden.”

My household stays loud and educational. The cats insisted on adding this. Science supports people making informed choices. Science supports harm reduction. Science supports LGBTQIA+ folks having access to accurate, stigma‑free information. Science does NOT support Aunt Barbara’s Facebook posts. Piper said that last part. I’m just reporting.

Piper climbs onto the table wearing a tiny pair of reading glasses she stole from somewhere.

“According to NIDA, over 20% of 12th graders reported using an illicit drug in the past year. That’s too many. That’s also the percentage of times I listen when Mother says, ‘get off the counter.’”

Source: National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA) Monitoring the Future Survey https://nida.nih.gov.

She flips a page dramatically.

“And nicotine vaping among teens is still one of the most common forms of substance use. Which is wild because I can’t even get Mother to let me sniff the humidifier.”

Source: NIDA Teen Vaping Trends https://nida.nih.gov.

Coco waddles in carrying a bag of treats like a briefcase.

“Listen up. The CDC says alcohol is the most commonly used substance among youth in the United States. Which explains why teenagers make decisions like climbing on roofs. And dating boys who wear Axe body spray.”

Source: CDC Youth Substance Use https://cdc.gov.

She pauses to eat a treat.

“And get this. About 1 in 5 high school students reported binge drinking. Meanwhile, I binge eat kibble and nobody gives me a national awareness week.”

Source: CDC  Underage Drinking https://cdc.gov.

Tinkerbell sits on her throne (the top of the fridge) and clears her throat like a disappointed professor.

“According to SAMHSA, over 46 million people in the U.S. met the criteria for a substance use disorder in 2021. That’s a lot of people needing support, compassion, and maybe a cat to sit on their chest and purr aggressively.”

Source: SAMHSA National Survey on Drug Use and Health https://samhsa.gov.

She adjusts her imaginary pearls.

“And here’s a big one. Only about 6% of people with a substance use disorder received treatment. 6%! That’s lower than the percentage of times Coco shares snacks.”

Source: SAMHSA Treatment Statistics https://samhsa.gov.                                                                                                                                                              As National Drug & Alcohol Facts wraps up, my cats would like to remind you to

Piper: “Stay curious, not chaotic.”

Coco: “Stay hydrated and snack‑positive.”

Tinkerbell: “Stay informed. Stay fabulous. And stop believing memes your cousin posted at 2 AM.”

And honestly? That’s the most scientifically accurate advice you’ll hear all week. Because the current administration doesn’t believe in science.

And that, my friends, concludes National Drug & Alcohol Facts Week as interpreted by three cats who have never paid taxes, never followed a rule, and yet somehow run this household like a federally funded research lab. Piper has knocked over every myth she could reach. Coco has eaten every statistic that wasn’t nailed down. Tinkerbell has judged the entire nation from the top of the fridge.

We’ve cited the CDC, NIDA, NIAAA, and SAMHSA. Because around here, we believe in facts, snacks, and queer‑centered harm‑reduction education. In that order. Take what you learned, Take what you laughed at. And take a deep breath. Because knowledge is power. Compassion is necessary. And humor is how we survive the South. Class dismissed. Sage extinguished. Cats victorious. Thanks for reading! Drop a comment about what you thought about the girls in this blog.

Affirmation: I choose knowledge over fear, compassion over judgment, and humor over everything else.

 ***Don’t forget to watch the video!***

#ThisPuzzledLife

My Cat Tried to Call the Therapy Coach and Now We’re in a Full‑Blown Feline Intervention

“My system handles trauma like professionals. But the cats handle drama like they’re auditioning for a reality show called Real Housewives of the Litter Box.”

-This Puzzled Life

Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Secure the breakables. Today’s episode of This Puzzled Life features a full‑blown feline committee meeting after Piper, chaos in fur form, announced that she “might have Dissociative Identity Disorder.”

I have Dissociative Identity Disorder. Piper, however, is simply dramatic. And Tinkerbell and Coco are done with her antics. Welcome back where the sage is burning. The humidity is disrespectful. And the cats are holding more meetings than a Mississippi school board.

This morning started like any other. I was minding my business. Drinking my coffee. And trying to keep my nervous system from filing a complaint with HR. When Piper strutted into the room and announced that she “might have Dissociative Identity Disorder.” Before I could even blink, she was paw‑dialing my therapy coach like she had Blue Cross Blue Shield and a co‑pay. And that’s when Tinkerbell and Coco called an emergency meeting. Because apparently, in this house, I’m not the only one with a system. I’m just the only one with a diagnosis.

Tinkerbell climbed onto the arm of the couch like she was chairing a Mississippi church committee.

Tinkerbell: “This meeting will now come to order. Piper has made a claim. A bold one.”

Piper: “Ok. Well, there is no easy way to say this. I have DID.”

Tinkerbell: “Piper, having nine lives is not the same thing as having nine personalities. Stop confusing reincarnation with psychology.”

Coco: “Yeah, girl. Nine lives just means you make nine bad decisions. Not that you need nine therapists.”

Piper gasps, fluffs up, dramatic tail twitch

Piper:  “Wow! So, nobody believes me? Nobody supports my journey? I’m being silenced. This is oppression. I’m calling coach right now!”

Coco: “You can’t even remember where you left your toy mouse. Sit down.”

Piper: “I am a complex being with layers!”

Tinkerbell: “You’re a lasagna with fur. Calm down.”

Coco flicked her tail like she was swatting away generational trauma.

Coco: “She doesn’t have DID. She has Too Much Drama Disorder.”

Piper, sprawled across a pillow like a Victorian widow, sighed dramatically.

Piper: “Sometimes I feel like different versions of me.”

Tinkerbell blinked slowly. The kind of blink that says, Lord, give me strength.

Piper sat up, whiskers trembling with self‑importance.

Piper: “Sometimes I’m sweet. Sometimes I’m spicy. Sometimes I’m feral. That’s at least three personalities.”

Coco rolled her eyes so hard she almost saw her past lives.

According to Piper, and only Piper, she “dissociates” at least three times a day. To everyone else in the house, she simply forgets what she’s doing because she’s Piper.

This morning, she was walking toward her food bowl with purpose, confidence, and the swagger of a cat who believes she pays rent. Halfway there, she froze. Stared into the void. And blinked like she’d just been unplugged and rebooted.

Tinkerbell watched her with the patience of a grandmother who’s seen too much.

Tinkerbell: “She’s not dissociating. She’s buffering.”

Coco flicked her tail

Coco: “That’s not a switch. That’s a brain fart.”

But Piper insisted.

Piper: “I think I dissociated. I forgot what I was doing.”

Tinkerbell sighed

Tinkerbell: “Sweetheart, you forget what you’re doing because you have the attention span of a dust bunny.”

Coco“If staring at the wall counts as dissociating, then every cat on Earth needs a therapist.”

Piper, unbothered, continued staring into the middle distance like she was receiving messages from the universe.

Piper: “I just drifted away.”

Tinkerbell: “You drifted because you saw a dust particle and got confused.”

Coco: “You’re not dissociating. You’re daydreaming with commitment.”

Coco: “That’s called being a cat.”

Tinkerbell nodded

Tinkerbell: “You’re not special, darling. You’re just enthusiastic.”

Piper gasped like someone insulted her casserole at a church potluck.

Piper: “So you’re saying I’m dramatic?”

Coco: “I’m saying you’re Piper.

This is where things went off the rails. Piper marched over to my phone. Tapped the screen with her paw, and said,

Piper: “I’m calling our therapy coach. I need a professional opinion.”

Tinkerbell nearly fell off the couch.

Tinkerbell: “Absolutely not. You are not dragging a licensed human into your nonsense.”

Coco leapt forward like she was blocking a football pass.

Coco: “Put the phone down. You don’t even know the passcode.”

Piper: “I know it’s numbers.”

Tinkerbell: “That is not enough.”

Piper: “I just want to ask if I have DID.”

Coco: “You don’t even have object permanence.”

Tinkerbell gestured toward me like she was presenting a case study.

Tinkerbell: “Our mom has DID. That’s a real thing. A trauma thing. A serious thing.”

Coco nodded, suddenly solemn

Coco: “She’s strong. She’s healing. She’s doing the work. You, on the other hand, tried to eat a rubber band yesterday.”

Piper: “It looked like a noodle.”

Tinkerbell: “It was not a noodle.”

Coco: “You’re not dissociating. You’re just unsupervised.”

Tinkerbell cleared her throat like a judge delivering a sentence

Tinkerbell: “Piper does not have DID. What she does have is excessive enthusiasm, poor impulse control, a flair for the dramatic, and a mother who spoils her.

Coco: “Case closed. Someone bring snacks.”

Piper: “I still think I should call the therapy coach.”

Tinkerbell: “If you touch that phone again, I’m calling Jesus.”

And as we wrap up this episode of Cats Who Need Supervision, I’ve realized something important. Living with DID is complex, sacred, and deeply human. But living with these cats is a full‑time job with no benefits and no union representation.

Some days my system is grounded and organized. Other days it’s buffering like a Dollar Tree Wi‑Fi router in a thunderstorm. And meanwhile, Piper is over here diagnosing herself with conditions she found on TikTok. Tinkerbell is exhausted. Coco is judging everyone. And Piper is still trying to call the therapy coach.

To all of us I wish healing, much laughter, surviving, and keeping the phone away from the cat who thinks she needs a treatment plan. And Piper? She’s grounded from the phone until further notice. Thanks for reading! Hug a cat if they let you.

Affirmation: Every part of you is powerful and worthy. And Piper, in all her chaotic glory, fully supports your healing while acting like she’s the self‑appointed spokesperson for your system.

***Don’t forget to watch the video!***

#ThisPuzzledLife

DID Awareness Month: Many Voices, One Whole Self

“My brain runs like a full‑time committee meeting, and the cats still think they’re the ones in charge.”

-This Puzzled Life

 Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. Today’s blog is about Dissociative Identity Disorder. And three cats who have absolutely no business being professionally involved. But who insist on participating like they’re on salary.

Welcome to another episode of “My Life Is a Sitcom and Nobody Warned Me.” Secure your wigs. Because today we’re diving into DID Awareness also known as “Me, Myself, and the Entire Internal Group Chat.” 

Living with DID means my brain runs like a committee meeting that could’ve been an email. And my cats act like they’re the board of directors.

Tinkerbell: “Your system is more organized than Congress.”

Coco: “At least y’all communicate.”

Piper: “If your brain ever needs a new member, I’m available.”

Me: “Piper, sweetheart, this is not American Idol: Internal System Edition.”

But here we are. Me, my parts, my healing journey, and three cats who think they’re licensed clinicians. And they are ready to bring some humor, honesty, and a little Southern seasoning to DID Awareness Month. Strap in. It’s about to get educational, emotional, and unnecessarily funny.

DID is one of those topics people whisper about like it’s a scandal, a secret, or the recipe for Coca‑Cola. But in this house? We talk about it openly, honestly, and with the kind of humor that keeps us from spontaneously combusting into a pile of stress glitter.

I have DID. Not “movie DID.” Not “Hollywood horror plot DID.” Actual, clinical, trauma‑born DID. It’s the kind that forms when a child survives more than any child ever should. And let me tell you, the cats have notes.

Tinkerbell (the wise elder): “Mom has a whole internal board of directors. I respect that. Some of y’all can’t even manage one mood.”

Coco (the judgmental aunt): “Honestly, the system is more organized than half the humans I’ve met. At least they communicate.”

Piper (chaos incarnate): “Do you think they’d let me join? I have ideas.”

Me: “Piper, this is not a talent show. This is a mental health condition.”

DID isn’t scary. It isn’t dangerous. It isn’t whatever nonsense Hollywood keeps trying to sell. It is a trauma response. A survival strategy. A brilliant adaptation. And a system built to protect a child who deserved safety. My system isn’t broken. It’s creative. It’s resilient. It’s the reason I’m still here. And the cats? They act like they’ve known every part since birth.

Tinkerbell: “Oh, this one likes soft blankets. Bring her the good one.” 

Coco: “This one needs boundaries. I’ll supervise.” 

Piper: “This one lets me climb the curtains.”

How does DID manifest? It is switching when overwhelmed and losing time. It’s different parts having different needs and internal conversations. It’s healing in layers. And learning to work as a team. It also looks like me drinking water because one part insists. Me resting because another refuses to push through. Me laughing because someone inside cracked a joke. And me healing because we’re doing this together. And the cats? They think they’re helping.

Coco: “I’m providing emotional support.” 

Piper: “I’m providing chaos.” 

Tinkerbell: “I’m providing supervision because these children need guidance.”

People with DID aren’t fragile. We aren’t dangerous. We aren’t confused. We aren’t “making it up.” We’re survivors. We’re complex. We’re healing. We’re doing the work. And we deserve understanding, not fear. Compassion, not judgment. Support, not silence.

Tinkerbell: “Respect the system. It’s doing its best.” 

Coco: “Awareness is important. Also, snacks.”

Piper: “If your brain ever needs a new member, I’m available.”

Me: “Piper, absolutely not.”

And as we wrap up this little journey through DID Awareness Month, complete with sage smoke, hydration, internal committee meetings, and three cats who are my emotional support staff .

DID is basically like trying to reboot a Wi‑Fi router from 2007. While the cats are batting the cords. The universe is buffering. And one part is whispering, “Have you tried turning it off and back on again?”

Some days I’m gliding through life like a well‑oiled machine. Other days I’m switching, grounding, journaling, and negotiating with my nervous system like it’s a toddler who missed nap time. And occasionally, the whole system is like, “Ma’am, we were not built for this timeline.” Meanwhile, the cats are offering commentary like they’re on payroll.

Here’s to us choosing growth even when our brains are running on 3% battery. Choosing compassion even when our patience is on backorder. And choosing to keep going even when life feels like a Walmart parking lot at 2 a.m.

 And then strut into the rest of your life like a woman who has survived every plot twist. Including the ones that arrived unannounced, barefoot, and holding a casserole of chaos. Because you’re still here. You’re still growing. And honestly? You’re doing better than half the people who think “self‑care” means buying a succulent and ignoring their feelings. Healing is holy. Humor is medicine. And I am too stubborn. I am too supported by my internal team and these judgmental cats to give up now. Thanks for reading! Keep moving forward.

Affirmation: I honor every part of my system. The strong ones, the soft ones, the tired ones, and the healing ones. I move through this world with resilience, humor, and a whole internal team that refuses to give up on me. I am whole, worthy, supported, and doing beautifully, no matter who’s fronting or which cat thinks they’re in charge today.

***Don’t forget to watch the video!***

#ThisPuzzledLife

Affirmations Of A Badass #1

“My affirmations are so powerful that even my self‑doubt takes notes.”

-Unknown

Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. Today, we’re stepping into a sacred space of Affirmations of a Badass. This is where the vibes are strong, the confidence is loud, and the only thing fragile is your last excuse.

This isn’t your grandma’s affirmation circle. No one here is whispering “I am enough” while sipping chamomile tea and staring at a beige wall. This is the kind of affirmation practice where you look in the mirror. Hype yourself up like you’re about to perform at the Super Bowl halftime show. And remind your soul that you are the main character.

This is you hyping yourself up just enough to function like a semi‑responsible adult. It’s self‑talk that says:

  • “I can do hard things.”
  • “I deserve good things.”
  • “I am powerful, even if I’m also a hot mess.”
  • “I’m allowed to take up space without apologizing.”

Badass affirmations are about self‑belief, resilience, and getting out of your own way. They don’t put anyone else down. They don’t require an audience. They don’t demand worship. They’re basically emotional caffeine. And let’s be honest, in 2026, we Americans need our emotional bank accounts overflowing, not overdrawn.

And for those of us who’ve lived through trauma, our confidence wasn’t just shaken. It was bulldozed, set on fire, and then politely kicked into a ditch. So, It’s our responsibility to rebuild what was lost. Sometimes daily. Sometimes hourly. Sometimes between sips of coffee. That’s why we walk into every day like we own the place. Because honestly, at this point, the universe should probably be paying us rent.

My power is loud. My confidence spreads faster than gossip in a small town. And my energy refuses to shrink just because someone else forgot their sparkle. I am a badass in progress. A masterpiece in motion. And anyone who can’t handle that, can step to the side while I strut.

And no, before anyone gets confused, this is not narcissism. Narcissistic Personality Disorder is dangerous, not a vibe. It’s not confidence. It’s a fragile ego wrapped in glitter.

Narcissism says:

  • “I’m better than everyone.”
  • “Rules don’t apply to me.”
  • “If you don’t praise me, you’re wrong.”
  • “Your feelings are optional. Mine are mandatory.”

Narcissism needs constant validation, lacks empathy, and treats people like props in a one‑person show. It’s not empowerment. It’s entitlement.

Badass affirmations, on the other hand, kick the door open, hand you a metaphorical crown, and say, “Get up! We’ve got a world to set on fire.” Being a badass isn’t about perfection. It’s about showing up even when your hair looks like it’s been negotiating with humidity for three days straight. It’s about believing in yourself even when your brain is like, “Girl… really?” And it’s about knowing that beneath the chaos, the caffeine, the weed, and the questionable life choices, you are powerful, capable, and slightly unhinged in the best possible way. Now, take a deep breath. Center your spirit. And prepare your soul. We’re about to affirm the absolute hell out of ourselves.

The first affirmation for we badasses is this:

“I walk into every day like I own the place, because honestly… I do. My power is loud, my confidence is contagious, and my energy is too big to shrink for anyone. I am a badass in progress and a masterpiece at the same time.”

Translation: “I don’t just enter a room. I arrive like a dramatic wind gust that knocks over a plant and makes everyone wonder if they should applaud.” It’s the energy of someone who wakes up, looks in the mirror, and says, “Yes, I am the creator of my universe,” then immediately trips over their own shoe but recovers like it was part of the dance.

It’s the vibe of a person who walks into a retail giant like they’re the CEO and buys absolutely nothing they came for because their confidence whispered, “Do You Boo Boo!”

It’s the spiritual equivalent of wearing sunglasses indoors. Not because you need them. But because your aura is too bright for the general public. It’s the declaration of someone who is simultaneously building themselves, hyping themselves, and confusing everyone around them with their chaotic, unstoppable energy. Basically, you’re a masterpiece who occasionally forgets where you put your keys, but you do it with swagger.

And there you have it. Your first dose of “I’m unstoppable and mildly dangerous in a charming way.” If anyone doubts your power after this, simply slow‑blink at them like a cat who knows it owns the house. Because you do. You absolutely do.

Remember that being a badass isn’t about having it all together. It’s about walking into the day with confidence, resilience, and the kind of energy that makes people wonder what you know that they don’t. It’s about hyping yourself up even when life feels like a group project and you’re the only one doing the work. It’s about choosing yourself unapologetically.

Don’t worry. Rebuilding confidence is the state that I’ve been in for many years. It’s not instantaneous. It’s something that will require diligence, patience and perseverance even on days when you don’t want to. So go forth, you magnificent Tasmanian devil of chaos. Speak kindly to yourself. Strut like the universe belongs to you. And if all else fails, repeat after me: “I am a badass, and the world will adjust accordingly.” Thanks for reading! Now Manifest It.

Affirmation: I affirm my affirmations with such confidence that even my doubts are like, ‘Okay fine, she clearly means business.’

***Don’t forget to watch the video!***

#ThisPuzzledLife