Affirmations

darnold1975

Things I Trust More Than This Administration

“I trust bad vibes, random coincidences, and my toaster more than this administration.”

-Unknown

 Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. Today’s blog is not just a list. It’s a public service announcement. A spiritual awakening. And a petty masterpiece crafted by a woman who has seen too much, heard too much, and tripped in public too many times to stay silent.

I woke up this morning. Turned on the news. And immediately felt my soul pack a suitcase and whisper, “I’ll be at the Motel 6 if you need me.” Piper gasped like she was watching a telenovela. Coco clutched her imaginary pearls. Tinkerbell just sighed the sigh of a woman who has lived through 14 administrations and is spiritually moisturized enough to handle anything.

And that’s when I knew it was time. Time to document Things I Trust More Than the Current Administration. It’s a list so chaotic, so accurate, and so spiritually petty that even my ancestors leaned in like, “Go on, baby. Tell it.” So, grab your snacks, your beads, your emotional support beverage, and your sense of humor. This is about to get disrespectful in a healing way.

1. My flip‑flops.

Yes. It’s the same flip‑flops that tried to assassinate me in slow motion. The ones with the structural integrity of a soggy communion wafer. The ones that folded like a cheap lawn chair at a family reunion. Still more dependable.

Tinkerbell: “At least the flip‑flops don’t lie on television.”

2. Piper’s decision‑making skills.

This is the same creature who ate a sparkly Pride bandana. Who tried to flash her nonexistent cat boobs for beads. And who attempted to unionize against bedtime. And yet? I trust her more.

Piper: “I make bold choices. Not good ones. But bold.”

3. A gas station egg salad sandwich.

Expiration date: unknown. Smell: concerning. Texture: illegal. But at least it’s honest about the danger.

Coco: “It may kill you, but it won’t gaslight you.”

4. A toddler holding a permanent marker.

Will they draw on the wall or the dog or their own face? Yes. But at least you know chaos is coming.

5. A goose with a clipboard.

He’s honking. He’s chasing people. He’s eating paperwork. But he believes in his mission.

Piper: “That’s passion. I respect it.”

6. My own ability to walk in flip‑flops.

History says no. Physics says no. Gravity says “Absolutely No.” But I still trust myself more.

Coco: “Bold of you.”

7. The cats’ ability to behave in public.

They have caused a Mardi Gras incident. Stolen a praline. Gotten into a legal dispute with NOPD. And started a jazz band. And yet? More trustworthy.

8. A Walmart shopping cart with one broken wheel.

It squeaks. It veers left. It shakes like it’s possessed. But it’s trying its best.

9. A fortune cookie written by someone who was clearly drunk.

“Your future is… something.” Same, babe. Same.

10. Ebola

At least Ebola is upfront like, “I’m dangerous. Stay away.” No mixed messages. No confusion. Just pure, uncut honesty.

Tinkerbell: “Clarity is a love language.”

11. Jeffrey Dahmer’s dinner invitations

Not attending. Not RSVPing. Not even opening the envelope. But at least you KNOW what you’re getting into. There’s no mystery. No surprises. Just a firm, “No thank you, sir,” and a quick jog in the opposite direction.

Coco: “Predictability matters.”

12. Jim Jones’ Kool‑Aid recipe

Not drinking it. Not smelling it. Not being in the same ZIP code as it. But I trust that it will do exactly what it promises. No false advertising. No fine print. Just consequences.

Piper: “At least it’s consistent.”

13. COVID 1‑19

The actual virus. Because COVID shows up like, “Hey girl, I’m back.” And honestly? I respect the commitment to the bit. It’s the ex who keeps returning but at least texts first.

Tinkerbell: “Reliability is reliability, even when it’s terrible.”

14. A stomach virus

It doesn’t lie. It doesn’t pretend. It doesn’t gaslight you. It just shows up at 3 AM like, “Hope you didn’t have plans today.”

Coco: “At least it’s punctual.”

15. A fart when I have amoebic dysentery

This is the MOST untrustworthy thing on Earth. A gamble. A spiritual test. A moment where your soul leaves your body and watches from the ceiling. And yet, still more trustworthy.

Piper: “High‑risk, high‑reward.”

Tinkerbell: “Baby, that’s not a fart. That’s a prophecy.”

16. A gas station hotdog that’s been spinning since 2014

At least it hasn’t claimed to have a plan for the country.

17. My cats’ understanding of personal space

They don’t respects boundaries, much the administration. But they’re consistent about something.

18. A psychic named Debra who accepts Venmo

Makes promises you can verify immediately.

19. My phone’s autocorrect

Provides helpful suggestions, not false promises.

20. The voice in my head that says, “this is a bad idea.”

Offers accountability before the disaster.

And do you know what? None of them have access to nuclear codes.

And so, after reviewing flip‑flops with abandonment issues, geese with clipboards, and Piper’s ongoing feud with law enforcement, one truth remains. There are many things in this world more trustworthy than the current administration. And most of them should not be legally trusted at all. But here we are. Surviving. Thriving. Spiritually hydrated. Held together by snacks, sarcasm, and the emotional support of three cats who have never paid taxes but have very strong opinions.

Piper is already drafting her own State of the Union. Coco is fact‑checking it with a glass of imaginary wine. Tinkerbell is praying for all of us. As for me? I’m lighting the sage again. Because after this list, the energy in here needs a full exorcism. And remember, “If chaos is inevitable, at least make it funny.” Thanks for reading! Keep resisting.

Affirmation: “I move through this chaotic timeline with the resilience of a goose with a clipboard, and the unhinged optimism of someone who still trusts a fart during amoebic dysentery more than the people allegedly running the country.”

***Don’t forget to watch the video!***

#ThisPuzzledLife

darnold1975

Democracy, Sage, and Whatever This Year Thinks It’s Doing

“At this point, I’m not sure if I’m fighting for democracy or just trying to survive a year that keeps acting like it’s on bath salts.”

-Unknown

Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. If this year had a Yelp page, I’d give it one star and a strongly worded paragraph. We are thirty‑something days into the mess of 2026, and I already feel like I’ve aged a decade. I’ve developed three new stress wrinkles. And spiritually relocated to a hammock in the void. Every morning, I wake up, stretch, hydrate, and whisper, “Lord, please don’t let the news be stupid today.” And every morning the universe replies, “Lol, girl… buckle up.”

This year is already acting like it’s on a Red Bull and trauma cocktail, and I’m just trying to keep my chakras aligned and my blood pressure below “boiling crawfish water.” Because friends, we have made it through one month of this year, and I already feel like I’ve lived through three seasons of a political horror series that nobody asked for. One month down, eleven to go in this year, and I’m already spiritually dehydrated, emotionally crunchy, and mentally on airplane mode.

But before we collapse into a heap of snacks and despair, we need to remember something. We are living through one of the most crucial moments in our country’s history. Not the fun kind. Not the “look at us making progress” kind. The “why does it feel like the universe put us on the wrong timeline” kind.

I’ve lived through some terrifying chapter moments where the country felt shaken to its bones. And now, in these recent years, we’ve watched scenes unfold in our own streets that feel like they belong in a dystopian movie Not in the United States of America. It’s heartbreaking. It’s exhausting. It’s infuriating. But here we are. Still standing. Still fighting. Still lighting sage like it’s a full‑time job.

This year isn’t just another year. It’s a battle for the soul of our democracy. And for the freedoms that generations before us fought, marched, bled, and prayed for. And yes, it feels like those freedoms are hanging on by a thread. A frayed, overworked, overstressed thread that needs a nap and a snack.

We cannot sit back and hope the courts fix it. We’ve seen enough to know that institutions don’t always protect us the way they should. So, we do what people in this country have always done when the system fails. We raise our voices. We show up. We refuse to be silent.

And if that means losing friends, family members, coworkers, or that one Facebook cousin who thinks memes are research? So be it. Democracy is not a group project where everyone gets an A for showing up. You pick a side. You stand for freedom and equality, or you stand with the people trying to dismantle them. There is no middle ground left.

And let me be clear. If someone chooses to align themselves with cruelty, corruption, or movements that excuse harm, they will not be around me or the people I love. Period. Boundaries are healthy. Boundaries are holy. Boundaries are the reason some of us are still sane. Because the same folks who scream “family values” the loudest are often the ones forgetting what values actually are. They’ll clutch their pearls over drag queens reading storybooks. But stay silent when real harm happens in their own communities. The hypocrisy is so strong it could power the entire state of Mississippi if we could bottle it.

And don’t even get me started on “purity culture.” The idea of signing my virginity over to my father? Absolutely not. I would rather have a hysterectomy with a ballpoint pen. Here’s the real truth beneath all the rage, humor and exhaustion. We will not have a future if we don’t fight for the present. Democracy doesn’t disappear all at once. It erodes, inch by inch, while people look away. And once it’s gone, it’s gone.

So, we stay loud. We stay vigilant. We stay connected. We stay hopeful even when hope feels like a thrift‑store candle burning on its last wick. Because the future is watching us. And we are not going down quietly. As we drag ourselves through the rest of this year like a Walmart buggy with one busted wheel, let us remember that we are tired, yes. We are stressed, absolutely. We are one headline away from screaming into a pillow, correct.

We are also loud, alive, unbothered in spirit, and too damn stubborn to let democracy slip away on our watch. So, light your sage. Charge your crystals. Hydrate your soul. And prepare your voice because silence is a luxury we cannot afford. We will fight. We will vote. We will show up like the ancestors are watching because they are. And when this year tries to test us again, we will simply look it dead in the eye and say, “Not today, demon.” Thanks for reading! And keep hope alive. 

Affirmation: I stay grounded, loud, and unbothered, because my spirit refuses to let chaos, clowns, or corrupt leaders dim the light the ancestors handed me.

***Don’t forget to watch the video!***

#ThisPuzzledLife