This Puzzled Life is a mental health and recovery blog exploring addiction, trauma healing, LGBTQ experiences, humor, and the strange moments that shape us.
“Kush rolled, glass full. I prefer the better things.”
-Rihana
Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negativity energy, go away. Today, I want to discuss a cannabis strain called Moroccan Peaches. And peachy it is!
I don’t know about you. But when I heard this name, I instantly thought about a warm peach cobbler. I know. It’s a very southern thought. This strain is considered a 50/50 hybrid. And I would have to put it above the hybrid strain Pink Peanut. But not by much.
The genetics for this strain is a cross of Spanish Barbara x Lemon Tree Skorange. Let’s look at the genetics a little closer. Spanish Barbara is known for its Barbara Bud #23 phenotype. It’s also known for being a sativa-dominant plant with a peach aroma. And I can tell you that the peachy flavors come through so well. From the minute you inhale, the peach aroma follows the entire experience. And before you can exhale this strain hits with gusto.
Lemon Tree Skorange is also a 50/50 hybrid strain known for its lemon flavor profile. And it is believed to be a cross between Lemon Skunk x Sour Diesel. Skorange is a hybrid of Cali O and OG Kush. And deep in its lineage is THC Bomb. Which is responsible for having a lemon scent and OG Kush dankness.
Moroccan Peaches hits your brain hits your brain with energy but also with a nice indica balance. And for me, it made me a little “chatty Kathy.” Patients report relief from chronic stress, chronic fatigue, depression, mood swings, migraines, and PMS. Terpene profile include B-Caryophyllene, Limonene, and a-Humulene. Thanks for reading. And keep blazin.’
Affirmation: Happiness is a journey, not a destination, and cannabis keeps it smooth sailing.
Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. Today I want to tell you about a situation that involved Tink and Coco. They both have dreams of being big cats one day. I don’t have the heart to challenge their realities. So, I just let them dream away. On this particular day I let them express just that. Check this out!
I woke up one morning with the familiar feeling of a fat cat running back and forth across me. This usually Coco’s meaning of “Momma get up!” I sit up and take a few minutes to gather myself for yet another day. Tinkerbell is gently licking my toes. I then feel pain and start sweating. I ask her. “Tink! What are you doing?!” “Momma, I licked your toes so clean and then I wanted to chew on them.” “Listen here! Don’t you ever use your back teeth to lick my feet!” I stand up limping towards their food bowls.
Tink: “Yippee she’s going to feed us! Momma, I want a gazelle to eat like the big cats on Netflix.
Me: “Have you and coco been watching National Geographic shows?”
Tink: “Yes ma’am. We could eat it just like they do.”
Me: “Tink there is nothing about you or coco that could take down a gazelle. Except maybe the fumes coming from your litter box. How would you get one to here at our house?”
Tink: “Momma DoorDash….duh.”
Me: “I’m quite sure they don’t deliver life size gazelles. What would you do if you got one? Lick its toes, run across it and throw paws with its hair? Ya’ll don’t even stalk anything but brown leaves, bugs and each other. “
Wanting to prove that she is like a big cat, I soon see Tinkerbell crouch down and ready to pounce at any moment. I couldn’t see what the target was, but I just watched curiously.
Tink: “Watch me catch my prey!”
She shakes her butt a little and then off she goes trying to be the big cat of her dreams. She lands on her target and quickly jumps back off it. When I finally see what she found She asks me
Tink: “Momma, what do you think? I killed my prey!”
Me: “Yes, Tinkerbell did kill it. The ice cube is dead.”
I know that this one was lighthearted. And to be honest, I need to remind myself every now and then about the comical simplicity of life. They help me so much, in fact, that I want to share them with as many who want to enjoy some of their funny comforts. My animals have always been the compassion in life that I couldn’t seem to find at one time. And the relationship that I have with them is so much fun. I hope that you can enjoy some of what I love about my girls, Tink and Coco. Thanks for reading!
Affirmation of cats: There is no one in the world that I would rather be.
“Cats have nine lives-three for playing, three for straying, and three for staying.”
-English Proverb
Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. Today, I want to talk to you about the continued struggles with my cats and playing “hide-and-seek” troubles.
I had hope when Piper joined our family that the remedial work would be successful. However, my girls will probably always be deficient in this area of their lives. I will now show you some of their efforts trying to change their ways. Sadly, they are still coming up short.
Thanks for reading. And keep me and the girls in your thoughts and prayers as we are always looking for solutions to this cat-tastrophy.
Affirmation: You are beautiful. It’s a good day to be a cat.
“Weed taught me patience. Mostly because I forget what I was doing.”
-Unknown
Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negativity energy, go away. Today, I want to tell you about the strain known as Candied Apples. This one fits the time of year perfectly.
Candied Apples is a sativa-dominant hybrid that is a cross between Blueberry x Pineapple x Afghan. Blueberry is an indica-dominant hybrid cross between Purple Thai x Thai. Pineapple also known as “Pineapple OG” hybrid of possible genetics between OG Kush x Golden Goat x Pineapple Kush. Afghan is a naturally occurring stain in the Hindu Kush area of Afghanistan with minimal human influence. Thank you to the indica-dominant strains for taming the sativa influence.
Top terpenes include Pinene, Myrcene and Limonene. And it has been known to provide relief from depression, stress, and anxiety. Even though this strain shows a slight dominance of sativa in the terpenes, I didn’t have to worry about the additional anxiety. Another great lunchtime strain. Keep blazin.’ And stay safe.
Affirmation: I am using cannabis mindfully to achieve my goals, whether it’s focus, relaxation, or creativity.
“If mugs made fart noises coffee shops wouldn’t be relaxing, they’d sound like a yoga class in a retirement home.”
-Desi Lydic
Me and my cats have a nightly routine that consists of me taking my meds while Tink is at my feet watching my every move. And stares at me hoping to make me hurry along. I then Get comfortable in my recliner and cover up with my favorite blanket. Then Tink hops in my lap where we both cuddle until we’re both asleep. Except on nights when I’m scrapbooking. And then both of the girls fall asleep wherever they are. Usually, Coco is in her bed and Tink is in my recliner on my blankets. Anyway, here’s how one of our nights unfolded.
Me: “Tink wake up.”
Tink: “Mi no Habla ingles.”
Me: “Well, Rosetta Stone you better find a way to talk to me.”
Tink: “I’m sleeping.”
Me: “No you’re not you just spoke to me.”
Tink: “I talk in my sleep.”
Me: “Wake up or I will get the thermometer and check to see if you have a fever.”
Tink: “I’m up. What do you need?”
Me: “Tink, hold on omg was that you?! You are nasty!! You farted!!!! Tink, that one is really bad. You know I can’t take bad smells. Dear God, what did you eat?! Oh, Holy Hell it’s burning my eyes too. What are your farts made of? Napalm?”
Tink: “Your big baby stop your whining it’s just your allergies. And you woke me up from my sleep and I didn’t have the energy to hold it in.”
Me: “I know. I’m allergic to cat farts. I can’t take crop dusting any better than this. Omg now I taste it! I started gagging. I had a sudden flashback to diaper days. You and your brother Copeland are the worst smelling animals on this planet! Wait until I tell him how nasty you are.”
Tink: “Fine tell him. He’s the one who taught me how to fart!”
Me: “You need to be bathed in a tub of Holy water because you have a demon in your butt. Dear God get out of my lap and off my blanket!! You probably cinged the fibers. Oh, I just threw up a little in my mouth. Find my airplane vomit bag NOW!!!!”
Tink: “Fine me and Copeland will go live with coach.”
Me: “Ummmm….I wouldn’t dare do that to her!!”
Tink: “She would, at least let me process my feelings about it.”
Sarcastically
Me: “So what are your feelings?”
Tink: “I feel that I’m a flatulent genius.”
Me: “No! Nope, nope, nope! Not even funny, Tink. Why would you want to subject coach to your farts? I thought you liked her.”
Tink: “Well you share everything with her so I thought that I would share everything too.”
Me: “Tink, I do not talk to her about farting!”
Tink: “You talk to her about being constituted.”
Me: “That’s constipated. And I told her that I almost died. It was a traumatic event.”
Tink: “Really?! There was no need to let her in on that part of your life. She likes me more than she likes you, anyway. I don’t understand why you’re being so dramatic.”
Me: “Tink I almost lost my life! I was in the middle of hostage negotiations with my poop chute, and I saw the grim reaper! The whole event scared me to death. And I will not compete for our coach with a cat! You know that she’ll call the police to come and do welfare check on me. And then I’d have to go to the ER and deal with idiots.”
Tink: “It was just a little poop ghost. The poop fan is on.”
Me: “There is nothing about that fart that is little. And no that’s our living room fan and all it does is swirl that weapon of ass destruction all over the house. And it sticks to everything. The whole house smells like I’ve been cooking with dookie tonight!”
Tink is now overcome with laughter.
Me: “A poop fan takes it out of the house. And you can tell your “ghost” that it needs a tic tac or an altoid because it has some crappy dragon breath. Plus, the police officers would arrest you for endangering the life of a vulnerable adult.”
Tink: “Well, I’ve been watching Cops, and I know when I’m supposed to start running. I refuse to be put in handcuffs!!”
Me: “They wouldn’t use handcuffs. They would bring Animal Control and use a rabies pole.”
Tink: “Outta my way momma that’s my cue to start running!”
Ever since then I have been thinking of a way to conduct a “Shock and Awe” moment. I’ve been waiting for a good fart to get her back. So, one day I waited until she was in a deep sleep. I snuck up on her like I was in some type of special forces unit. Operation: “Methane Freebie” was almost over. I got into position close to my target and I Let Her Rip!!! She got vertical at that very moment. I couldn’t help but laugh. With her eyes wide open and her tail all fluffed out she said
Tink: “What in the “Holy Crap on a Cracker” what was that?”
Hysterical Laughter
Me: “I just spoke your “love language.”
Tink: “That was not love, Momma! Had you been a man I would’ve clawed you right in the pickle.”
Me: “Yes it was your “love language.” That was me blowing you a kiss.”
Tink: “I want a divorce!”
I hope you’ve enjoyed this lighthearted post. This was not fiction. My cats and I actually have conversations like this. Thanks for reading! And keep smiling!
Affirmation: If my cat’s flatulence is excessive, I will consult with a veterinarian to rule out any underlying medical conditions.
“Some of my finest hours have been spent on my back veranda, hemp and observing as far as my eye can see.”
-Thomas Jefferson
Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negativity energy, go away. Today, I want to review the strain Banana Cream Pie. Yep, doesn’t it sound like a strain that would go well during the Thanksgiving holiday? Sit tight, while I describe this nice add to the holidays.
Banana Cream Cake a.k.a Banana Cake is a sativa-dominant hybrid. This strain is made by crossing Wedding Cake x Monkey Banana. This has become one to add to my list of likes. With it being a sativa-dominant strain, I was a little skeptical about whether I would like it. But this little girl is a nice strain.
This strain hit me directly in the eyes like a prized fighter. But it’s not too anxiety provoking. I would be cautious with novice users. Because it will sneak up on you with it’s powerful kick. Patients choose this strain to help with symptoms of chronic depression, anxiety, and pain. I know. There is enough indica in it to tame that anxiety associated with sativas.
This strain was on Leafly’s top 12 strains of 2022 harvest. And what a sweet beauty she is. The sweetness of vanilla combined with chestnuts give this strain a sweet and hardy flavoring. Dominant terpenes are Limonene, trans-Caryophyllene and Linalool. Those with anxiety issues can enjoy but need to be careful and not overdo it.
Thanks for reading! Keep smilin’ and blazin.’
Affirmation: I am grateful for how cannabis expands my creative ability.
This is a story I wrote about Coco and her mean school teacher, Ms. Beans.
Ewww that mean old teacher named Ms Beans. That wasn’t her real name. That was just a nickname we called her because she would “crop dust” the whole class. We all started gagging the longer it was alive. Why?! Because she would close the door taking away what little ventilation we were getting. But I would always tell her that I had a hairball condition when she would ask me why I was gagging. We couldn’t exactly raise our paws and say, ”Ms Fart I’ve got a question.” So me and my classmates just called her ms beans.
Actual name is Truffles the Cat
You know I heard that they found her dead in her litter box due to an explosion. May her mean ass be comforted and corrected by tha Jesus. If not, may tha Jesus kick her out of heaven and send with her a bottle of water and suntan lotion to the red light in the ground.
“Sometimes the goal is to just survive, and the memories are a bonus.”
-Unknown
Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. Today, I want to talk to you about the holidays and family. Don’t worry. It also gives me gas at the thought of the two, once again, colliding.
This should be a happy time for most of us. However, especially in our current political climate, I would venture to say that the thought of interacting with family members who stand on the opposite of the isle makes me want to step out into oncoming traffic. So, this year, I’ll be spending most of my holiday time with the only ones that seem trustworthy, my boys and my cats.
My cats could care less about what the current political environment is like. And they also don’t care whether I’m straight or gay. And unlike some of my family members, all they want to do is spend every waking hour with me. With all of my quirkiness, they just seem to keep scrolling as none of that matters to them.
My boys and I will spend time together during their school break. Activities include burning leaves and wood at the fire pit, roasting wieners and marshmallows, and cuddling in the cool night air while talking about the newest and most concerning issues of being a child. And I will, more than likely, be pummeled by nerf gun bullets sometime during their stay.
We never have enough money to do everything that we want to do. But what we do have is each other. They devour every bit of food available. And at the end of the day, they are my children, and I am their mom. The cats are their sisters. There is absolutely nothing that can compare to that.
By the end of their stay, the cats are tired of being nice and the boys are tired of being nice to each other. And I am, once again, interested in a little bit of quiet time. No matter how tired and irritated we can get, me and the boys experience the true meaning of family. And that’s what it’s all supposed to be about. Not judging someone for who they are versus who they are not. Thanks for reading! And enjoy your time with family in whatever way that takes shape.
Affirmation: I will approach this holiday with the same calm wisdom I use to navigate family debates over the thermostat.
“Pawsitively bewitched by my furry friend’s cuteness.”
-Unknown
Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. Today, I want to talk to you about not forgetting our pets on Halloween. They secretly despise you for the costumes that you pick out. All they wanted was to be a part of the family. And they had no idea that they would be subject to such cruelty. Poor them. I don’t find any of that cruelty. I love seeing our pets dressed up as almost anything. Here are a few of these pets and their personal opinions concerning Halloween costumes. See if you agree. In
Snoop Dogg
“Fo shizzle my nizzle.”
Colin Oscopy
“Dr Patio Furniture ER Stat!”
Charlie
“A cow?! With utters?! I’m eating the couch pillows when we get home.”
Pudding
“Seriously? I have my head in a hamburger right now?!”
Sister Mary Clarence
“May God forgive you for your sin of dressing me up as a nun.”
Wendy
“How do you live with yourself?”
Jess Kidding
“Let me tell you all the reasons why I hate you.”
Nico Time
“What in the absolute Hell have you done?!”
Cheetolini
“You should go to prison!”
“The Angry Yam”
“You should go to prison twice!”
Power Serge
“A Beanie Baby?! Please tell me it isn’t so.”
Capital Splatter
“I AM CHUCKY!”
Perv Griffins
“This is your fetish! Not mine!”
Rocky and Apollo
“We are calling the ASPCA!”
Thanks for reading! Happy Halloween to you and your pets. Happy Haunting!
Affirmation: I am worthy despite my owner/owners ideas about costumes.
This Puzzled Life 