This Puzzled Life is a mental health and recovery blog exploring addiction, trauma healing, LGBTQ experiences, humor, and the strange moments that shape us.
“I’m high on life. Oh, wait, sorry, that’s just marijuana.”
-Unknown
Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. And since tomorrow is Child Abuse Awareness and the ribbon is blue, I want to talk to you about one of my favorite strains for PTSD called Blue Dream.
This strain I was introduced in the early days of figuring out the state’s cannabis program. While Blue Dream is a slightly sativa-dominant hybrid. If you’ve been a survivor with PTSD, you understand how very uncomfortable the visual and audio overstimulation can be. It slowly engulfs you until something is able to break the forward motion of those symptoms. This strain is one that does just that for me.
Let’s look at this strain’s lineage. Blue Dream is a 60/40 sativa-dominant cross between Blueberry x Haze. Blueberry is a cross between Purple Thai x Afghan. Haze are landrace strains, which are naturally grown in the wild with no genetic manipulation from Mexican, Colombian, Thai, and South Indian decent. Typically, the hazy strains can taste like a sweaty sock. One of the best things about this strain is that blueberry flavoring is strong enough to offset the hazy flavors. And it lasts from packed bowl to last toke. But despite the sativa side, that hazy indica comes through to help quell anxiety provoking effects.
The top terpenes in this strain are Myrcene, Pinene, and Caryophyllene. The medical benefits include chronic stress, chronic pain, depression, and sleep disorders. This strain is perfect for a one-gram attitude adjustment. Make this strain a staple in your cannabis medicine cabinet. Thanks for reading! And keep blazin.’
Affirmation: I treat myself like I’m my kindest, best bud.
“If God didn’t want us learning about cannabis, he wouldn’t have made half my cousins impossible to tolerate without it.”
-Mavis “Two-Puffs” Delacroix
Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy, go on and get. Today, we are gathered here in this living room that smells like lavender spray, and cat hair. This will officially kick off Cannabis Awareness Month under the watchful, judgmental, and wildly unqualified leadership of my three feline board members.
Piper has already climbed onto the podium wearing a green tutu like she’s the spiritual advisor of the entire Gulf South. Coco is in the corner eating something that is absolutely not food. And Tinkerbell is perched high above us all. And blinking slowly as if to say, “I cannot believe I share a mortgage with these people.” And she has no mortgage. So, take a breath. Set your intentions. Hide your snacks. The cats are ready to educate the public. And Lord help us. They have prepared statements.
Welcome back to the only blog on the internet where Cannabis Awareness Month is celebrated with the same energy most families reserve for Easter Sunday and tax refunds. In this house, the educational programming is run by three cats who have never once read a law. Paid a bill. Or respected personal space. Piper is already wearing a green tutu like she’s the patron saint of responsible consumption. Coco is pre-gaming with the emergency snacks. And Tinkerbell is in the corner judging everyone’s life choices with the quiet authority of a Southern grandmother. If you came here calmly, you’re in the wrong place. If you came here for chaos, education, and a sprinkle of cat-led activism, pull up a seat.
Every April, the rest of America politely acknowledges Cannabis Awareness Month like it’s a PTA meeting. Meanwhile, down here in the Deep South, my household treats it like the Met Gala of Mindfulness. Except the outfits are Dollar General pajamas. The snacks are missing (because Coco). And the educational portion is led by three cats who have never paid a bill in their lives. But bless it, they try.
Piper “The Tootin’ Tutu Tornado” kicks off the month by dragging a green feather boa across the living room like she’s the Beyoncé of harm reduction. She hops on the table. Knocks over a brochure and says, “Cannabis Awareness Month means education, mother.”
She’s not wrong. Cannabis Awareness Month is all about understanding safe, responsible use. Reducing stigma. Learning the difference between THC, CBD, and “whatever your cousin grew behind the shed in 1998.” Knowing your limits. And for the love of Mississippi, not mixing edibles with a church potluck.
Piper then tries to teach the household about terpenes but gets distracted by her own tail. Awareness is a journey. Coco, the Snack Lobbyist, takes a different approach. She sets up a “Cannabis & Munchies Preparedness Station.” Which is really just an empty bag of Doritos. A half-chewed cat treat. And a sticky note that says, “PLAN AHEAD.” She insists it’s educational. Coco’s key message is ,“If you stay ready, you don’t have to get ready.” She’s basically a Southern auntie in a fur coat.
Tinkerbell, the dignified conductor of this circus, takes Cannabis Awareness Month very seriously. She sits everyone down for a lecture titled “Cannabis, Calm, and Why Y’all Are Doing Too Much?” Which covers setting intentions. Respecting your body. Understanding dosage. Avoiding the “I’m fine” spiral that ends with you reorganizing the pantry at 2 AM. And the importance of not letting Piper run any more workshops. She ends her presentation by flicking her tail and walking away. Which is cat for “class dismissed.”
Piper stands on the arm of the couch like she’s delivering the State of the Union. Coco is eating something he absolutely should not be eating. Tinkerbell is judging us all. Together, they recite the official household pledge, “We promise to consume responsibly, stay hydrated, respect the plant, and never, ever let Piper be in charge of snacks.” Amen.
And that concludes this month’s household seminar on cannabis awareness is brought to you by Piper’s unlicensed enthusiasm. Coco’s snack-based curriculum. And Tinkerbell’s unwavering belief that everyone else is doing it wrong. As we wrap up, remember to stay informed. Stay responsible. And never let a cat who can’t even find his own tail be in charge of dosage discussions. May your month be calm. Your snacks be plentiful. And your cats be slightly less dramatic than mine. But honestly, I wouldn’t count on it. Longest “Big Beautiful affirmation” in the history of our country. Thank you for your attention to this matter. Thanks for reading! Stay informed.
Affirmation: “I move through this month with clarity, humor, and a heart unbothered by chaos. I honor the plant. Protect my peace,l. And trust myself to stay grounded even when Piper is preaching. Coco is crunching. And Tinkerbell is judging from above. I am calm. I am capable. And I am fully prepared for whatever foolishness this household delivers.”
Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. Today, I want to tell you about a strain that is good for the time of year where we all begin enjoy the warm sun. This strain is called Suncake.
Suncake is a 60/40 indica-dominant hybrid. It is a cross between Sunset Sherbet x Wedding Cake. Sunset Sherbet is a cross between Girl Scout Cookies x Pink Panties. Wedding Cake is a cross between Triangle Kush x Animal Mints. It’s flavoring consists of a sweet, creamy, berry, vanilla cake, and tropical citrus. However, I just identified light citrus notes.
Top terpenes in this strain are Limonene, Caryophyllene, and Linalool. Patients report relief from conditions such as insomnia, chronic pain, appetite loss, nausea, chronic stress, depression, and mood swings. This strain I would call an easy and slightly indica dominant strain. Yes, you can use this during the day as long as you’re an experienced indica smoker. Novice smokers might enjoy this one better as night. Either way, it does not act real indica. The effects feel much more like a balanced hybrid with a nice elevation in mood.
Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. Today, I want to tell you about a strain called Platinum Kush Breath.
Platinum Kush Breath is a 70/30 indica-dominant hybrid strain. It is a cross between OG Kush x Afghani. OG Kush is a cross between Chemdawg x Lemon Thai x Hindu Kush. Afghani is a pure indica landrace strain found in the Hindu Kush mountains of Afghanistan. I wasn’t able to determine a definitive flavor. But it’s reported flavors of berry, fruity, peppery, spicy, and sweet.
Dominant terpenes are Caryophyllene, Limonene and Linalool. Patients report relief from depression, headaches, migraines, chronic pain, inflammation, cramps, or muscle spasms. Even though this strain’s potency doesn’t hit hard to begin with, it acts very much like a creeper strain. The indica effects were slow but powerful once they settled in. I would say that this strain needs to be used in moderation. Because if your not careful “couch lock” might be upon you. Thanks for reading! Keep blazin.’
Affirmation: I am worthy of health and happiness, and I choose to relax my mind and body.
“I have the memory of a goldfish…that’s also high.”
-Unknown
Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. Today, I want to tell you about a nice chill strain called Sage OG.
Sage OG is a balanced hybrid cross between OG Kush x SAGE (Sativa Afghan Genetic Equilibrium). OG Kush is a cross between Chemdawg x Hindu Kush. SAGE is a cross between Afghani x Big Sur Holy. This particular strain by Southern Sky is sitting at 27.9%. However, it’s not overwhelmingly too strong for it not to be a daytime strain.
The major terpenes in this strain are Limonene, Caryophyllene, and Myrcene. Patients report relief from chronic pain, appetite loss, anxiety, and mood disorders. This strain would be good for smokers at all levels. Overall, it’s just a good chill strain. Thanks for reading! Keep blazin’.
Affirmation: I nurture myself like I’m a fresh cut clone. With tender care, lots of water, and plenty of protection.
This Puzzled Life 