This Puzzled Life

darnold1975

We Love Our Allies

“An ally is someone who stands up even when they feel they can’t.”

-Unknown

Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. As Pride month begins to wrap up, I want to talk to you about a group of people that many of us LGBTQ+ people draw strength from. It’s our allies! This group of people are usually straight. But they stand up for different issues within the gay community that continually marginalize us. They are voices that stand up and say, “I’m straight. But your discrimination and hate is wrong.”

Our allies who are sometimes known as “fruit flies,” bring strength to our battles with equality. And they also love us for who we are versus many of our families who love us for “who they want us to be.” I will be the first to say that there are zero gay affirming people in my family. No matter who agrees or doesn’t agree, the gay person is here to stay. And I gladly wear the title of the “rainbow sheep” in the family.

There are those still who say, “We love you for who you are.” But they stand against equality and continue with their homophobic or transphobic comments. That, my friends, is not an ally. You just know someone who is gay. You cannot say that you’re ok with me being a lesbian and then speak out about how my transgender friends are wrong or abnormal. That’s hypocritical. You don’t have to be gay or trans to be active and say, “Equality should be for all and not just one gender or sexual orientation.”

Our transgender brothers and sisters need our support in the fight for their rights to be who and what they want to be. To be able to fight for our country on the frontlines for freedom. And to be able to use any damn toilet that matches the gender in which they identify. They do not want to harm you or your children. Individuals who have or are transitioning do not want to rip your genitalia off or steal whatever small amount of virginity you may have left. They simply want to empty their bladder and bowels.

 I had a friend that I had a close relationship with one time. But when I came out to her, our friendship ended. That is what I call a conditional friend. As long as I was who they wanted me to be everything was ok. But when I told them who I really was, that was not acceptable. It is truly their problem and not mine. That is not an ally. That is an asshole. I know they both start with the letter “A,” and it can be confusing to some.

People have a misconception that anyone under the LGBTQ+ umbrella has an insatiable sexual appetite. And that we are lurking around to force straight people into gay submission. If I know that someone is straight, I will not cross the line by trying to seduce them. It’s call mutual respect. I know that there are creepy people that do that and are ok with that. I would simply call “bullshit” and tell them that it’s very disrespectful. But I know even more straight people who want to pound the gay out of us. It would be like someone forcing me to be straight. And I barf in my mouth just a little at the thought of ever having to pretend that I’m straight again. If someone who is gay comes on to you, simply tell them that you’re straight. Most of the time that is respected. And sometimes is just a faulty “GAYDAR.”

As a lesbian, the misconception that we want to run in and turn straight women gay is an absolutely ridiculous argument. And this is where our allies come into play. They not only love us for our authenticity, but they are also on the front lines of the pride banner to speak up against hate even when we are not around. Allies are another source of strength that can only be found within them. And for this, I am eternally grateful. Beautiful friendships and family relationships can be mended by being an ally.

In my family there are those who when discussing someone who is gay, they spell it. Like “Yea, I collaborate with this guy, and he is G-A-Y!” Let me help put your minds at ease, “You cannot catch the gay from saying someone is gay.”  So, making the statement, “I love you because you’re my child or my family member.” Then to counter with, “Hate the sin, love the sinner” asserts that you hold yourself to a higher level because you know God better than he knows himself. When God actually spoke about loving everyone. And that no one deserves his love any more than the other. Jesus preached about equality and inclusion, not discrimination and hate. And from what I’ve seen in my life, there’s a lot of “cherry picking” of the Bible to satisfy an argument. God’s people are taught to spread his love. But some of them are the very ones who close the church doors when the gay people arrive. And if you are let in there is no shortage of stares and whispers.

If there was ever a group of people who I give the utmost respect, it would be our allies. I have always been one to stand up for the underdog in most situations. And I can promise you that it doesn’t always make me popular in a good way. So, for a “straight ally” to stand up for me and others, you will always be considered members of my Pride family.

A lot of us LGBTQ+ individuals create families among others, because our families are simply too rich in bigotry and self-righteousness to be considered a “safe place” that nurtures love and growth in a relationship. And I live in a “hotspot” of the country that has a lot of judgement and ignorance. They have simply become a wounding vessel and a very rigid group of people that do not deserve the time nor the energy to continue relationships with them. So, we form close ties and bonds with our allies instead.

I have used this phrase many times and it stems from my own family when I say, “If nothing changes, then nothing changes.”  I have to hold my head high, turn around and walk away like a boss. And I walk right over to my ally’s house where love and acceptance isn’t only spoken, it’s shown. You can love me and stand up for our rights as we do. But you cannot say that you love me and think that neither I nor my friends are entitled to the same rights you have. I absolutely will NOT be a part of that in any way.

Thank you so many allies for everything that you do that we never know about. And thank you for showing us what the love of Christ is all about. Homophobes, transphobes, and the self-righteous thank you for showing me who I never want to be. As always, take what you can use and leave the rest. Keep smiling. Happy Pride Everyone!

Affirmation: I will not shrink myself for the comfort of others.

***Don’t forget to watch the video!***

#Thispuzzledlife

darnold1975

Budtender Moment: Spritzer Strain Review

“If we all had a bong, we’d all get along!”

-Unknown

Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. Okie dokie! Today’s budtender moment is a review on the strain Spritzer. And with a name like that, how could I keep it out of our 2025 Pride lineup? Sit tight for a minute and I’ll fill you in with the information that you need about this strain.

Spritzer is a hybrid strain by crossing Runtz x Grape Pie x MAC. It was very earthy, floral and aroma. This strain is just like the name sounds. It’s like tip toeing through a field of flowers. It truly behaves like a very sativa dominant strain perfect for daytime. I felt little, if any, indica. And it would be a “good introduction to the cannabis world” kind of strain. I just don’t see where it’s possible to ever get couch lock. But I will say that you will have to use it in moderation especially if there are any anxiety issues. It’s a really good one to “wake and bake.”

Grab an eighth of Spritzer and take it with you to a Pride parade and events. Nothing too heavy. With my PTSD, I would have to use a much heavier indica to be able to use in public. It all depends on your personal needs. Thanks for reading! Happy Pride!

Affirmation: I am a productive stoner.

***Don’t forget to watch the video!***

#Thispuzzledlife

darnold1975

Most Dangerous Internet Challenges Part 3

“Getting information from the Internet is like taking a drink from a fire hydrant.”

-Mitchell Kapor

Thanks for coming back to read the final blog about the Most Dangerous Internet Challenges. I have saved the most dangerous of all the challenges I’ve talked about until now. That does not mean that I’m being insensitive to the destruction that the previous ones have caused. However, for varied reasons these last four challenges go down as my top for being some of the most dangerous. Let’s continue…

Skull Breaker Challenge

This is a dangerous challenge that first made its mark on Tik Tok in 2020. I’m not saying that the behavior itself has never been conducted before. Because I’m fairly sure that when I was a teen, we did something similar. The participants work as a group of three. One person stands in the middle, while the other two stand on either side. They tell the middle person to jump up and then very swiftly use a sweeping kick so that the middle person falls to the ground and hits their head. Injuries that have been associated with this challenge include concussion, neck, head and spinal injuries. Skull fractures and paralysis are also known to be associated with this challenge. Tik Tok very quickly took down any videos related to the challenge.

Benadryl Challenge

This is a challenge where it involves taking massive amounts of Benadryl in order to get high and hallucinate. Ok, stop for a second. We didn’t even have internet challenges much less this one. Hell, I did this just to escape my own horrible reality. But you can only take so much before the “high” isn’t a really pleasant experience. However, when you don’t have access to money, as a young teen, you go to the next best place, the parents’ medicine cabinet. 

I’m not trying to glorify this. What I am saying is that there are many varied reasons why someone would do something like this. While this can be deadly, I never considered those dangers as a teen. The overconsumption of this medication can lead to confusion, delirium, psychosis, organ damage, hyperthermia, convulsions coma and death. And sadly, there have been children and teens who did not live to see the next internet challenge.

Blackout Challenge

Ok. This one right here has been known to be my poison. The Blackout Challenge also called the “Choking Game” are another one of those things that have thrill seekers mouths watering with anticipation. I had no idea that this had a formal name for behavior until I started seeing this in news reports. The challenge formally began to gain widespread attention on Tik Tok in 2021. It’s a challenge that deprives the brain of oxygen and blocks blood from entering the brain.

Oxygen deprivation of the brain has the potential to cause moderate to severe brain cell death. And because fatalities are often ruled as suicides, it makes the statistics unreliable. I think we all can agree that this can be dangerous. One of the reasons that it’s so popular is because it costs zero dollars to try. As dangerous as it can be, I don’t see this behavior being eradicated. 

My personal beginning with this behavior was born out of a very traumatic situation. And I can tell you that the longer kids get their needs met in this way, the more difficult it is to stop. And just like any type of self-harm that serves a purpose for the individual, the results can be deadly.

I completely understand that not every child looks for some type of emotional need to be met with these behaviors. Either way no one can deny the facts about the statistics showing that it can be deadly. I can admit that this isn’t “brain food” and is still considered very stupid to most people. The main thing is for parents to be aware of the signs that are related to this behavior which include discussion of the game, bloodshot eyes, marks on the neck, severe headaches, disorientation after spending time alone, ropes, scarves and belts tied to bedroom furniture or doorknobs or knotted on the floor and unexplained presence of things like dog leashes, choke collars and bungee cords.

Blue Whale Challenge

The Blue Whale Challenge is one that I consider to be very insidious. If you’ve read my recent blog about the online predatory group 764, this is one that’s eerily reminiscent. It was an online social phenomenon in 2016 that began in Russia and claimed to exist in many countries. The game consists of a series of tasks to players over a 50-day period. 

In its start, the creator who was a former Russian psychology student, got expelled from the university. He said that he originally created the game in 2013 in order to “clean society of biological wastes.” The tasks begin with things like “get up at 4:30 am”  or “watch a horror movie” before moving into self-harm. And the end of the game involves committing suicide. The administrators were found to be children aged between 12 and 14 years of age. 

In June 2018, Russian financial analyst, Nikita Nearonov was arrested for masterminding the game. Nearonov is suspected of grooming ten underage girls in order for them to commit suicide. The game has been reported to be banned in countries including Egypt, Kenya and Pakistan. However, experts agree that it’s almost impossible to ban the game.

I hope this series has been informative on some of the dangerous internet challenges. For all the ones that have diminished, there are new challenges in ten-fold waiting to take their place. Remembering how naïve I was as a teen helps me to realize that had the internet been as big then as it is now, I would’ve surely gotten hurt at the very least. I was incredibly impulsive and searching for something to distract me from life as it was. Thanks for reading! 

***Don’t forget to watch the video***

#Thispuzzledlife

darnold1975

Most Dangerous Internet Challenges

“The internet is a dangerous place. If you are not careful it will consume you and rob you of your happiness.”

-Germany Kent

Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. Today I want to talk about something that continues to make its mark while constantly evolving. Internet/Social Media Challenges can be fun and inspiring. However, there are challenges that are dangerous and even fatal. I can’t cover them all. I can, however, bring into focus several of the dangerous challenges that have circulated the internet. I cannot fit all these on one blog so this will be a series. Some of the videos I have posted are probably over exaggerated and make for some good laughs. For those who have suffered injuries and death, the humor of the videos quickly disappears.

First of all, I want us to look back at when internet challenges first began. The earliest examples that I can find begin around 2001 with the debut of the Cinnamon Challenge and the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge. The Cinnamon challenge was a video of someone trying to eat a spoonful of dry cinnamon in under 60 seconds which went viral. Cellulose fibers in cinnamon are considered responsible for triggering allergic hypersensitivity reactions which make for an extremely uncomfortable experience. The chemical coumarin which is found in cinnamon is moderately toxic to both the liver and kidneys if taken in large quantities. This challenge peaked on YouTube in January 2012. Twitter reported that at its peak the videos reached around 70,000 per day. 

The challenge came with dangers that were ignored by its impulsive teens which included: Lung infections, Choking, Gagging, Burning, Itching, Allergic reactions, Vomiting, Pneumonia, Inflammation and scarring of lungs, Collapsed lungs

The ALS Ice Bucket Challenge was not considered dangerous, mostly due to raising money for ALS research. The ALS Ice Bucket Challenge was seen as safe because it raised funds for ALS research. And gained notoriety on the coat tails of rising platforms  like YouTube, Twitter and Instagram. However, any type of action that is done without knowing the possible risks involved can have some damaging effects. And teens don’t weigh the consequences. They just act and hope for the best. I can honestly say that I speak from personal experience and include myself.

Planking

Planking itself is not dangerous because you are trying to mimic a piece of wood. However, when the challenge escalates to dangerous or risky behaviors such as on top of dangerous animals, or on top of a chimney can make this seemingly safe activity dangerous.

Hot Pepper Challenge

This is one of those challenges that I was never curious about trying. Capsaicinoids is a class of compounds  that make pepper taste hot. Over time a rating scale based on the amount of heat in a product are measured in Scoville units. The level of heat that’s in a bell pepper is my level of heat tolerance at an amazing 0 Scoville units. And when I want to go all rogue on the spicy side of life, I will venture into common black pepper.

 We all know people that can tolerate spicy foods. And these people leave me flabbergasted at their tolerance. I would rather have my toenails pulled off with pliers than have to eat something spicy. But there are times when we deal with the spice in order to eat the food we like, crawfish. I am the big baby at the table that will be wiping snot and complaining about the heat.

The Hot Pepper Challenge, to me, is absolutely ridiculous. Call me whatever you want. I can’t stand getting burned in any way. I am the biggest whiny ass when I get sunburned so hot peppers can “suck it” in my world. A quick internet search about the Scoville unit level that is considered dangerous is not listed. However, anything around the  1 million Scoville units can cause significant discomfort. One million Scoville units, for example, is like the Ghost Pepper. To put this into perspective, the jalapeno pepper ranges from 2,500 to 8,000 Scoville Heat Units.

In extreme “super-hot” peppers in this category have been known to cause potentially dangerous side effects like vomiting, gagging, passing out or acute stroke. Check out the videos to see how quickly a dare goes to instant regret.

I hope some of the information you’ve read helps you to understand how potentially dangerous internet challenges are. Unbelievably, it gets even more dangerous. In the next couple of blogs I will talk about the other internet challenges that are much worse on the scale of danger. Thank you for reading! Please pass along this information to friends, family and co-workers to bring awareness. Take what you can use and leave the rest. Subscribe to my blog and never miss another post.

***Don’t forget to watch the video!***

#Thispuzzledlife