“Politics is just humans arguing in circles. Cats understand the truth: sit on the highest perch, knock over what no longer serves you, and nap through the drama.”
-Unknown
Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. Because today’s blog is a political circus, as told by three cats who have never paid taxes, never voted, and yet somehow believe they understand the system better than any human alive. Sit back and enjoy the girls’ explanation about the chaos of government.
Tinkerbell: “Gather around. The Big Orange Cat is speaking again.”
Coco: “Speaking? He’s yelling. He always yells. Why do humans elect creatures who yell?”
Piper: “I don’t know. But all the other cats around him are making faces like he might’ve pooped out of the litter box.”
Me: “He’s not actually our leader. He’s a waste of fur. He’s just loves hearing his gums flap.”
Tinkerbell: “Then why is he in a fancy room with gold curtains?”
Me: “Because humans make choices.”
Coco: “Poor ones.”
Tinkerbell: “Who are these other creatures around him?”
Me: “His cabinet.”
Piper: “Like furniture?”
Coco: “No, idiot. Advisors. Though honestly, furniture might do a better job.”
Tinkerbell: “I see a raccoon with a briefcase. A goose with a badge. A possum asleep under the table.”
Me: “That’s surprisingly accurate.”
Piper: “Why is the goose in charge of paperwork?”
Coco: “Because humans love chaos.”
Me: “Well, he is also involved in a coverup regarding “The Catstein Files.” Okay, this channel is supposed to explain what’s happening.”
Coco: “All I hear is squawking.”
Piper: “They’re parrots! They repeat everything! This is amazing!”
Tinkerbell: “They are not reporting. They are echoing. Loudly. With feathers.”
Coco: “One of them just said “BREAKING NEWS” for the fourth time in ten minutes.”
Piper: “BREAKING NEWS: I knocked over a plant.”
Coco: “BREAKING NEWS: No one is surprised.”
Tinkerbell: “Why are those geese chasing people?”
Me: “That’s LICE a Border Patrol Enforcement Agency.”
Coco: “Enforcement? They’re honking aggressively and losing their paperwork.”
Piper: “One of them is eating the paperwork.”
Tinkerbell: “Truly, a symbol of government efficiency.”
Me: “They’re supposed to keep things organized.”
Coco: “They can’t even keep their feathers organized. And what is that thing on his head?”
Me: “That is a fur piece he saved and put on his head. He calls it a hairstyle. But it looks like a gigantic, runaway hairball.”
Tinkerbell: “Well, you would have to see his cat parents to understand where his hideous genetics originated. I have lived many lives. I have seen many things. But this is the most chaotic government I have ever witnessed.”
Coco: “If humans ran the world like cats, everything would be better. Step one: naps. Step two: snacks. Step three: no yelling.”
Piper: “Step four: chase the geese.”
Coco: “Piper, no.”
Piper: “Piper, YES!”
After reviewing the Big Orange Cat, the raccoon cabinet, the parrot news network, and the goose enforcement squad, my cats have reached a unanimous conclusion, that humans should not be in charge of anything. Not governments. Not agencies. Not news. Not even their own shoes. If cats ran the world, it would be quieter, cleaner, and significantly fluffier. Though admittedly, nothing would ever get done because everyone would be asleep. Thanks for reading! And stand up for your rights and the rights of others.
Affirmation: I remain calm, centered, and spiritually moisturized, even when the world behaves like a raccoon run cabinet meeting where parrots scream policy updates and geese with clipboards chase each other in circles.
***Don’t forget to watch the video!***
#ThisPuzzledLife
This Puzzled Life 