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darnold1975

Piper’s Spay Day

“A happy arrangement: many people prefer cats to other people and many cats prefer people to other cats.”

 -Mason Cooley

Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. Today, I want to tell you about a situation that occurred. And, well, it was concerning the specific moment when I had to tell Piper that she was going to get spayed.

Me: “Piper!”

Piper: “Coming momma!”

Me: “What were you three doing?”

Piper: “I had just jumped on Tink’s back and was biting her head. And she was getting mad at me.”

Me: “Well, I need to talk to you about something?”

Coco: “Me and Tink are on the way, momma.”

Me: “Well, it might be good to have you here for support.”

Tink: “Uh-oh. Is everything ok?”

Piper: “What’s the matter momma?”

Me: “Well, when you get to be a certain age you need to have a surgery.”

Tink: “Oh yes! Snip, snip little girl.”

Coco: “Snip! Snip! And it’s going to hurt really bad.”

Me: “Tink! Coco! Ya’ll stop. You’re going to scare her.”

(Piper begins sobbing)

Piper: “Momma, why do you want to make me hurt?”

Me: “Coco and Tink, why did you say that?”

Piper: “Momma, I’m scared!”

Me: “Look, calm down a second. When you get to be a certain age, you must have a surgery to remove your kitten maker.”

Coco: “Snip! Snip!”

Me: “Coco, stop it! Piper, they give you some medicine to make you go to sleep so that you don’t even know that it’s going on.”

Piper: “But momma. What if I wanted to be a momma one day?”

Me: “Piper let me explain something to you. Momma cats don’t just have one kitten. If they had just one, you could have a kitten, and it could live with us. Momma cats have anywhere from 8-12 babies at a time. And we wouldn’t able to keep them. It would be harder on you if I took your babies away from you after you had already bonded with them.”

Piper: “So you’re not doing this to be mean to me?”

Me: “No baby. Tink and Coco did the same thing. And it helps keep you healthier the older you get. If you had a lot of babies and we couldn’t find homes for them all, we would have to take them to the shelter. And there are already too many puppies and kittens who have to do that. I’m just trying to make it easier on you and all of us by doing this. Think about it. If you had 8 kittens. Coco had 8 kittens. And Tink had 8 kittens. What would we have?”

Piper: “A crowd?”

Me: “Yes. And I wouldn’t be able to care for that many.”

Piper: “Ok. Well, I don’t want to be a momma cat to that many babies. But I’m still scared.”

Me: “I know you are. But I will go with you.”

Piper: “You promise?”

Me: “Unless, of course, you know how to drive a vehicle.”

Piper: “No way.”

Me: “I promise you might be a little scared. But you will be fine. And I will go get you whenever they say that you’re safe to come back home. And then we can cuddle, ok?”

Piper: “Ok. Please don’t forget about me.”

Me: “Don’t worry. Me and your sisters would never forget about you.”

Tink: “Piper, we were just messing with you. You will be fine. If you get scared, just ask “tha Jesus” to make you not scared.”

Coco: “Yea, kid. We were just playing with you. I was a little sleepy and sore afterwards. But the doctors will give you some medicine to make you not hurt but just a little bit.”

Piper: “Will you and Tink go with me?”

Coco: “Heck no!”

Piper: “Why not?”

Tink: “Because they take your temperature.”

Piper: “What does that mean?”

Me: “They just want to make sure that you don’t have a fever which would mean that you were sick.”

Piper: “Ok. Well, that doesn’t seem bad.”

(Coco now mumbling)

Coco: “That’s what you think.”

Piper: “What?”

 Me: “Coco hush up. Piper, you will be fine.”

Piper: “Ok. Thank ya’ll for explaining things. I feel better. I love you big sissies.”

Coco and Tink: “We love you too, Piper.”

I’m writing this the day after Piper’s surgery. She did fine. And when I picked her up from the vet, except for the fact that she was still a little bit woozy and moving around like she had eaten an entire container of cannabis edibles, she did extremely well. Piper and Tink hissed at her for the next four hours because she and her carrier smelled like Noah’s ark from being around so many other animals, I am currently writing with two of them in my lap. Remember to always spay and neuter your animals. Thanks for reading!

Affirmation: I know when to curl up for a good nap

***Don’t forget to watch the video!***

#Thispuzzledlife

Featured darnold1975

Tink’s Dream Of Becoming A Big Cat

“Time spent with cats is never wasted.”

-Sigmund Freud

Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. Today I want to tell you about a situation that involved Tink and Coco. They both have dreams of being big cats one day. I don’t have the heart to challenge their realities. So, I just let them dream away. On this particular day I let them express just that. Check this out!

I woke up one morning with the familiar feeling of a fat cat running back and forth across me. This usually Coco’s meaning of “Momma get up!”  I sit up and take a few minutes to gather myself for yet another day. Tinkerbell is gently licking my toes. I then feel pain and start sweating. I ask her. “Tink! What are you doing?!” “Momma, I licked your toes so clean and then I wanted to chew on them.” “Listen here! Don’t you ever use your back teeth to lick my feet!”  I stand up limping towards their food bowls.

Tink: “Yippee she’s going to feed us! Momma, I want a gazelle to eat like the big cats on Netflix. 

Me: “Have you and coco been watching National Geographic shows?” 

Tink: “Yes ma’am. We could eat it just like they do.”

Me: “Tink there is nothing about you or coco that could take down a gazelle. Except maybe the fumes coming from your litter box. How would you get one to here at our house?” 

Tink: “Momma DoorDash….duh.” 

Me: “I’m quite sure they don’t deliver life size gazelles. What would you do if you got one? Lick its toes, run across it and throw paws with its hair? Ya’ll don’t even stalk anything but brown leaves, bugs and each other. “

Wanting to prove that she is like a big cat, I soon see Tinkerbell crouch down and ready to pounce at any moment. I couldn’t see what the target was, but I just watched curiously.

 Tink: “Watch me catch my prey!” 

She shakes her butt a little and then off she goes trying to be the big cat of her dreams. She lands on her target and quickly jumps back off it. When I finally see what she found She asks me

Tink: “Momma, what do you think? I killed my prey!”

Me: “Yes, Tinkerbell did kill it. The ice cube is dead.”

I know that this one was lighthearted. And to be honest, I need to remind myself every now and then about the comical simplicity of life. They help me so much, in fact, that I want to share them with as many who want to enjoy some of their funny comforts. My animals have always been the compassion in life that I couldn’t seem to find at one time. And the relationship that I have with them is so much fun. I hope that you can enjoy some of what I love about my girls, Tink and Coco. Thanks for reading!

Affirmation of cats: There is no one in the world that I would rather be.

***Don’t forget to watch the video!***

#Thispuzzledlife

Featured darnold1975

Hide-And-Seek Troubles Again!

“Cats have nine lives-three for playing, three for straying, and three for staying.”

-English Proverb

Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. Today, I want to talk to you about the continued struggles with my cats and playing “hide-and-seek” troubles.

I had hope when Piper joined our family that the remedial work would be successful. However, my girls will probably always be deficient in this area of their lives. I will now show you some of their efforts trying to change their ways. Sadly, they are still coming up short.

Thanks for reading. And keep me and the girls in your thoughts and prayers as we are always looking for solutions to this cat-tastrophy.

Affirmation: You are beautiful. It’s a good day to be a cat.

***Don’t forget to watch the video!***

#Thispuzzledlife

darnold1975

Tink’s Love Language

“If mugs made fart noises coffee shops wouldn’t be relaxing, they’d sound like a yoga class in a retirement home.”

-Desi Lydic

Me and my cats have a nightly routine that consists of me taking my meds while Tink is at my feet watching my every move. And stares at me hoping to make me hurry along. I then Get comfortable in my recliner and cover up with my favorite blanket. Then Tink hops in my lap where we both cuddle until we’re both asleep. Except on nights when I’m scrapbooking. And then both of the girls fall asleep wherever they are. Usually, Coco is in her bed and Tink is in my recliner on my blankets. Anyway, here’s how one of our nights unfolded.

Me: “Tink wake up.”

Tink: “Mi no Habla ingles.”

Me: “Well, Rosetta Stone you better find a way to talk to me.”

Tink: “I’m sleeping.”

Me: “No you’re not you just spoke to me.”

Tink: “I talk in my sleep.”

Me: “Wake up or I will get the thermometer and check to see if you have a fever.”

Tink: “I’m up. What do you need?”

Me: “Tink, hold on omg was that you?! You are nasty!! You farted!!!! Tink,  that one is really bad. You know I can’t take bad smells. Dear God, what did you eat?! Oh, Holy Hell it’s burning my eyes too. What are your farts made of? Napalm?”

Tink: “Your big baby stop your whining it’s just your allergies. And you woke me up from my sleep and I didn’t have the energy to hold it in.”

Me: “I know. I’m allergic to cat farts. I can’t take crop dusting any better than this. Omg now I taste it! I started gagging. I had a sudden flashback to diaper days. You and your brother Copeland are the worst smelling animals on this planet! Wait until I tell him how nasty you are.”

Tink: “Fine tell him. He’s the one who taught me how to fart!”

Me: “You need to be bathed in a tub of Holy water because you have a demon in your butt. Dear God get out of my lap and off my blanket!! You probably cinged the fibers. Oh, I just threw up a little in my mouth. Find my airplane vomit bag NOW!!!!”

Tink: “Fine me and Copeland will go live with coach.”

Me: “Ummmm….I wouldn’t dare do that to her!!”

Tink: “She would, at least let me process my feelings about it.”

Sarcastically

Me: “So what are your feelings?”

Tink: “I feel that I’m a flatulent genius.”

Me: “No! Nope, nope, nope! Not even funny, Tink. Why would you want to subject coach to your farts? I thought you liked her.”

Tink: “Well you share everything with her so I thought that I would share everything too.”

Me: “Tink, I do not talk to her about farting!”

Tink: “You talk to her about being constituted.”

Me: “That’s constipated. And I told her that I almost died. It was a traumatic event.”

Tink: “Really?! There was no need to let her in on that part of your life. She likes me more than she likes you, anyway. I don’t understand why you’re being so dramatic.”

Me: “Tink I almost lost my life! I was in the middle of hostage negotiations with my poop chute, and I saw the grim reaper! The whole event scared me to death. And I will not compete for our coach with a cat! You know that she’ll call the police to come and do welfare check on me. And then I’d have to go to the ER and deal with idiots.”

Tink: “It was just a little poop ghost. The poop fan is on.”

Me: “There is nothing about that fart that is little. And no that’s our living room fan and all it does is swirl that weapon of ass destruction all over the house. And it sticks to everything. The whole house smells like I’ve been cooking with dookie tonight!”

Tink is now overcome with laughter.

Me: “A poop fan takes it out of the house. And you can tell your “ghost” that it needs a tic tac or an altoid because it has some crappy dragon breath. Plus, the police officers would arrest you for endangering the life of a vulnerable adult.”

Tink: “Well, I’ve been watching Cops, and I know when I’m supposed to start running. I refuse to be put in handcuffs!!”

Me: “They wouldn’t use handcuffs. They would bring Animal Control and use a rabies pole.”

Tink: “Outta my way momma that’s my cue to start running!”

Ever since then I have been thinking of a way to conduct a “Shock and Awe” moment. I’ve been waiting for a good fart to get her back. So, one day I waited until she was in a deep sleep. I snuck up on her like I was in some type of special forces unit. Operation: “Methane Freebie” was almost over. I got into position close to my target and I Let Her Rip!!! She got vertical at that very moment. I couldn’t help but laugh. With her eyes wide open and her tail all fluffed out she said

Tink: “What in the “Holy Crap on a Cracker” what was that?”

Hysterical Laughter

Me: “I just spoke your “love language.”

Tink: “That was not love, Momma! Had you been a man I would’ve clawed you right in the pickle.”

Me: “Yes it was your “love language.” That was me blowing you a kiss.”

Tink: “I want a divorce!”

I hope you’ve enjoyed this lighthearted post. This was not fiction. My cats and I actually have conversations like this. Thanks for reading! And keep smiling!

Affirmation: If my cat’s flatulence is excessive, I will consult with a veterinarian to rule out any underlying medical conditions.

***Don’t forget to watch the video!***

#Thispuzzledlife

Featured darnold1975

Tink And The Rubber Band

“Cat fact: Once you own a cat the probability that you bring up cats in conversation increases by 200%.”

-@mickeyandmort

Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. Today, I want to share a short story that I wrote a few years ago. It involves my cat Tinkerbell. Sometimes you just have to take time out to thank the universe for giving things a second chance. This was one of those times.

One night I visited my parents who live no more than 60 ft from my house. I stayed over there for maybe an hour and came back home. My cats never miss a chance to greet me at the door like I’ve just returned from a 21-day furlough in Denton, TX. And they meow like they haven’t been fed the entire time. They do this because when I go to the store to pick up my groceries, I always bring back a snack for them. Therefore, every time I leave and come back that means that they have a new treat. (Yes, I have created this situation, and I hate myself for doing it.) but after ignoring their cat woes they will eventually settle down and find a place to sleep or breakout in an all-out sprinting and body slamming each other which is another little love language behavior. Not paying attention to anything but the movie, I look and see Coco beginning to settle down in her rocking chair. Tink was quiet and out of view. This means the same thing as it does for a toddler, trouble.

I get up and start looking for her. Then I heard what can make me sit straight up in the middle of the night, the sound of a cat vomiting. I flip the light on in the kitchen and realize that Tink has her back to me. The closer my hand gets, her growl lets me be aware that she is trying to hide something from me. Again, I can see that she’s chewing on something and gagging even more. I decided to go in even if I need a rabies shot soon after. I go in for the kill and stick my hand into the dark bracing myself for her angry bite. And I feel something that is not her and yank quickly. All I can do is shake my head. She was trying to swallow a rubber band. She darts out quickly. I angrily shout, “Dammit Tink you could’ve died!!!!” She scurries under the bed and out of sight. I take a deep breath knowing how lucky my sweet, crazy girl was in this situation. I clean the mess off the floor. I take another deep breath. And turn the light off. I look for her frantically to find her sound asleep on the bed and I whisper, “Thank you, Universe.”

Thanks for reading! Never forget to thank the universe for the little gifts that it blesses you with. Keep smiling! 

Affirmation: I have the power to get in trouble for no good reason.

***Don’t forget to watch the video!***

#Thispuzzledlife

Featured darnold1975

Tink and Coco’s Hide-And-Seek Troubles

“Cats choose us; we don’t own them.”

-PC Cast and Kristin Cast

Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. I know lately I’ve been storming the door with some hot topics. So, I thought that I would take time out to talk to you about some of my cat parenting woes. Tink and Coco are my girls, and I love them dearly. But one thing I have come to notice is how they suck at playing the game “Hide-and-Seek.”  I had finally reached the end of my rope while suffering in silence over this. And I had to just breakdown and get a “Hide-and-Seek” tutor. Do you know how difficult they are to find?! 

When I’m finally brave enough to ask a tween to help explain the concept to my children in a way that they can understand, I have to face my fears and tell them that my children that have the issues are not “technically” human children. They are my cats. They begin laughing hysterically. Not the cats. Coco and Tink are horribly embarrassed and are not grateful for my efforts. The child that has empathy for our situation prefers to remain anonymous.

Ok, I’m going out on a limb, while swallowing my pride, to show you the reasons why I had to get a tutor for my cats. Below are a few examples.

Tink: Psst! guess who?

Coco: Tink you have to put your ears down dummy.

Tink: you big idiot! You just gave away my hiding place!!!! Ugh!!! She wouldn’t have noticed!! I hope you get a dingleberry the size of a tennis ball!!!!

I understand that their recovery is “a marathon, not a sprint.” And I ask for your prayers for the three of us as we continue to work as a family, to continually face our fears to help Tink and Coco with their deficits in playing a simple game that is shared and played throughout all cultures and regions of the world. And how one day we can bring awareness to other cat families about how we can learn to live unaggressive and how to enjoy “family time” comfortably again in the near future. Thanks for your support as we struggle!

Affirmation: I am perfect enough.

***Don’t forget to watch the video!***

#Thispuzzledlife 

Featured darnold1975

From The Mouth Of Piper

“I had been told that the training procedure with cats was difficult. It’s not. Mine had me trained in two days.”

-Bill Dana

Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy, go away. Today, I want to update you on the speaking of Piper. She might be little. But she is mighty. The following is a conversation that we had recently.

Piper: “Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow.”

Me: “Piper, what are you saying?”

Piper: “Mooooooomma?”

Me: “There you go. I knew you could do it.”

Piper: “Wait! What am I doing?”

Me: “You’re speaking English. What were you doing just now?”

Piper: “Oh, I was talking to tha Jesus.”

Me: “Really? About what?”

Piper: “Well, I was saying a prayer while speaking “Cat.” Do you think he understood me?”

Me: “Well, I would guess so since he created you.”

Piper: “He created me?”

Me: “Why yes. Jesus is behind all things good.”

Piper: “But momma those other people unalived my littermates.”

Me: “Ah yes. Baby, he’ll take care of those people. One day I’ll tell you about the red light in the ground. But he made sure you and your brother made it.

Piper: “Why? The red light in the ground? What is that?””

Me: “Well, I don’t know. Maybe it was because he knew that me and your sisters needed you in our family. And the red light in the ground is where bad people go. They always need water. It’s hot. And they will be sad forever.”

Piper: “Whoa. Do you mean Jesus can do that? Well, I don’t want them to die. I just want them to be covered in fleas without flea medicine.”

Me: “Oh yes. Jesus can do anything.”

Piper: “So, how do I thank the Jesus for doing that?”

Me: ”Well, you just pray and tell Jesus.”

Piper: “Do you mean like I was doing?”

Me: “Of course. Go ahead and speak English. He’ll understand.”

Piper: “So, does Jesus have Google translate or Rosetta Stone?”

Me: “Well, Jesus doesn’t need that. But if he did, he would use it. Go ahead and talk to him.”

Piper: “Dear Jesus, thank you for my momma that took us out of that hot sun and to the vet. Thank you for letting them help me. However, I didn’t like the thermometer. I could really do without that. And thank you for my new mommy. She does say words I don’t understand. But I think it’s because of my needles attached to my baby paws. So, please don’t be mad at her. She loves me so much! And dear Jesus, as your humble servant, I ask that you please take that evil hiss out of my sisters’ throats. Amen.”

Me: “Incredibly good, Piper. 

Piper: “How do I know if he heard me?

Me: “When you said, “amen” it was like you put a stamp on the letter. It was delivered straight to heaven. Just give your sisters time. Jesus will work on them.”

Piper: “Thank you, momma. Can I have another cookie?”

Me: “You’re welcome, baby. Ummmm. You’ve already had sixty-two treats.”

Piper: “Then can I have 63?”

Me: “Fine. But only one more.”

Thanks for reading. Make sure and subscribe to this blog. So, that you never miss another post and updates on the lives of me and Coco, Tinkerbell, and Piper. Keep reading. And keep smiling.

Affirmation: The world can be cruel. So, I won’t be.

***Don’t forget to watch the video!***

#Thispuzzledlife

Featured darnold1975

And Then There Was Piper

“Kittens are angels with whiskers.”

-Alexis Flora Hope

Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy, go away. Today is a special day because I brought this beautiful little girl into our family. She is the epitome of being a survivor.

I had been wanting a new kitten for over a year. And I always thought that the name Onyx would be a great name for a black cat. I looked locally and the black kittens were either feral, no veterinary care or too expensive. But then I saw the story about this litter. And I just could not seem to put it out of my mind.

The story goes like this…Someone left a litter of kittens in a concrete parking lot in a metal cage. And there were two little ones that were hanging on for dear life. I know. I want to find those people and set them on fire too. People are just a special kind of evil for doing things like that. A lady saw them as she pulled up to the store and rescued them. And went to get veterinary care. She and her family also hand fed and spent countless hours and emotions making sure those two babies made it. A month later, I my heart told me, “That little girl is the one.”

Me and the owners talked, and I realized what this special little kitten would be for me. I met up with one of the owners at a neutral place. I got the kitten’s tiny little body out of her crate while she meowed. And I melted and then lost my breath all at once. That little girl melted my heart once I saw her. I lost my breath not from her beauty but from her tiny little “murder mittens” that reached out for safety and grabbed my boob. I felt like I had just been stabbed and was clinging to life. I’m pretty sure I dissociated too. I really hope the fear in my face and the gasp from my throat wasn’t noticed.

To keep from trying to make her a black cat when she is not, I have changed her name to Piper. And from what I can tell, the name suits her simply fine. We need each other. Her sisters Tink and Coco are not grateful for her arrival currently. I am guessing that it is because neither of them wanted to share lap space or cookies. I talked to them like toddlers saying, “We do not hiss and try to bite our friends. She is a kitten. Not a crocodile. And she is your sister.” They did not seem to care about the rationale. And they continue to hiss and sulk.

I am now at my “cat limit.” Me and my girls know how to do two things, “We know how to adapt to change and love.” We do not always do it with a smile on our faces and with love in our hearts. But little Piper is just what the three of us needed to complete our family unit. 

Big brothers, Marshall and Copeland, will give her “a run for her money.” But they will no doubt love her too. She already speaks English and is sassy and mouthy just like her sisters. Stay tuned for more interactions with my three amigos. Welcome Home, Piper! 

Thanks for reading! And Please Spay and Neuter Your Pets!

Affirmation: I am getting to know my new family.

***Don’t forget to watch the video!***

#Thispuzzledlife

darnold1975

Laughing Rainbows

“It takes more than a sign, a fabulous outfit or a month of parades. Pride has to resonate from within; shine out to everyone around you. It has to mean something to you  before you announce it to the world.”

-Solange Nicole

Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. As we continue to celebrate Pride, I want to highlight some of my favorite gay celebrity comedians. There is nothing like good humor. It has been one of the top factors for how I survived a life of abuse. Comedy can be raunchy. However, I respect humor in any way that I can find it. And I really love being able to laugh at myself.

I have several personal favorite “out and proud” lesbian comedians. These include Wanda Sykes, Ellen, DeGeneres, Kate McKinnon, Fortune Feimster, Margaret Cho, Jessica Kirson, Tig Notaro and Mae Martin. There are many more lesbian comedians. These are just a few of my favorites. And the lesbian comedic icons Wanda Sykes and Ellen DeGeneres, in my eyes, are considered legends in the game.

Kate McKinnon has grown her gift of comedy, becoming a big presence on Saturday Night Live. And she is truly gifted. It doesn’t take long once you begin watching her to realize that she’s truly gifted. Jessica Kirson is a comedian that I saw for the first time on YouTube. Her style is doing crowd work. It is a style of comedy that engages with and interacts directly with the audience. It isn’t a set routine.

Two of my favorite southern lesbian comedians are Tig Notaro and Fortune Feimster. These two ladies are truly hilarious. They both incorporate some of the funny things from the southern way of life. Tig Notaro is from my home state of Mississippi. And Fortune Feimster is from South Carolina. You can tell through their comedy that they understand what it’s like being gay in the south. So, when I struggle with my southern reality, I find these guys somewhere on the internet and let the stress melt away. And first thing in the morning, I fix my cup of coffee and turn on the podcast with Tig, Fortune and Mae. The podcast is called “Handsome.” And I promise these guys, for the most part, keep it clean and hilarious. And it helps to wash away my morning grumpiness.

My favorite gay male comedian is Matt Mathews. Another individual from the south that owns his craft. He is hysterically funny! His material is typically offensive to most conservative thinkers. But to make no mistake his material is some of the best in my book. The audience is always roaring with laughter. He’s just beginning to get the recognition that he deserves.

Check out some of these comedians if you’re in the mood for some good laughs. Or when you’re not in the mood for laughs. Maybe it will be the pickup that you need for your day to continue. I used a few clips of Fortune Feimster in my blog this month about my personal “coming out “story. Thanks for reading! Subscribe to my blog and you’ll never miss another post. Keep smiling!

Affirmation: My laughter heals me even if I’m laughing at myself

***Don’t forget to watch the video!***

#Thispuzzledlife

darnold1975

Budtender Moment: Blues Brothers Motorbreath

“Two wrongs don’t make a right, but two joints made my night.”

-Unknown

Light the charcoal. Sprinkle the sage. Negative energy go away. Okie dokie! Today, I’m going to review strains that go along with Pride. Since I’m a lesbian, it wouldn’t be nice of me not to mention the part of the parade that I enjoy watching. It’s the “Dykes On Bikes” portion of the parade where some of the most masculine lesbians ride through on their motorcycles. And I assure you that your fragile masculinity could be smashed by some of these ladies. “Lady Lesbians Of The Bikes” I honor you with the cannabis strain with the Blues Brothers’s Label: Motorbreath.

This greasy, yet sexy, hybrid strain was actually named from a song called Motorbreath on Metallica’s 1983 album Kill’Em All. The diesel taste feels like it would be better suited on their Garage Days album. Anyway, what a pleasant surprise to find out those origins that lead back to my favorite heavy metal band of all time, Metallica. The nostalgia of this entire product just floods me with so many good memories. Because the taste will take you back, while the effects wrap you up.

Jim Belushi and Dan Aykroyd actually own Blues Brothers brand. John Belushi was a comedian and actor who traveled with Dan Aykroyd and performed as Jake and Elwood Blues. John Belush eventually died of a drug overdose. And his brother has been building a cannabis business in his honor. Jim Belushi stated in his reality program Belushi Farms, “Had my brother had access to medical cannabis, he would still be alive.”

This strain while definitely “stinky,” with some diesel fumes isn’t as heavy as the GMO strain. And it is ever since of the word “hybrid.” It feels like a sativa until the gassy, indica back end catches you. The strain has a lineage of Chemdog and SFV OG KUSH (San Fernando Valley). This would be a good strain for a lunch break if you can tolerate the indica effects. It’s used for chronic pain and stress. I think that it’s a strain for beginner or moderate users. And more of a “chill” strain for us experienced users. However, at 28.4% THC it won’t take long before it disables you for your entire lunch break. An Absolutely great hybrid in my book. The terpene profile is Caryophyllene, Myrcene and Limonene. This indica-dominant hybrid is definitely 4.25 out of 5 on the rating scale. A uniquely beautiful strain that will help many people no matter where on the continuum you reside. Way to go Blues Brothers!

“Dykes On Bikes” comeback you forgot your diesel! Happy Pride, everyone!

Affirmation: I attract the best weed.

***Don’t forget to watch the video!***

#Thispuzzledlife